I’m continuing this week to reflect on Jesus’ final days and the leadership lessons I can learn.

The other day we talked about managing disappointment and today I want to look at preparing for abandonment.

Very early in my ministry I had another leader tell me leadership can be a lonely activity.

I’ve worked very hard in my life to surround myself with other leaders. I’ve worked hard to empower the people around me and build authentic community. However, I agree, there is an element to leadership that is lonely. Whether it’s leadership in a church, leadership in the workplace, or even leadership in your home.

In leadership you carry a weight and responsibility which can drive you to a very lonely place. A healthy leader will allow this loneliness to drive them to a greater dependence on God. Charles Lee wrote a phenomenal post on this which you can read HERE.

Luke 22:39-46 recounts how Jesus asks his disciples to pray with him. It was such an intense time of temptation the Bible tells us as He prayed “his sweat was like drops of blood”. After he finished he walked back over to his disciples to find them asleep.

In leadership you’re often going to feel as if your fighting a battle alone. Your going to ask…

-Does anyone care?

-Is anyone else as passionate as I am about this cause?

-Will anyone else sacrifice?

Jesus lived in the reality that even when you do life in community leadership can be lonely. Just hours later even his closest follower would deny knowing him.

Reflecting on this passage and these principles makes me realize…

1) If it happened to Jesus it will happen to you. People will abandon you and yes, you will feel lonely. And let’s be honest. Because you’re not Jesus  and you have sins like pride and arrogance you’re going to bring some of this upon yourself. Whenever you step into any kind of leadership role make sure you count the cost.

2) Extend grace whenever possible. One of my favorite scenes in the Bible would happen a few weeks later in John 21 when Jesus and Peter have a little chat on the beach. Jesus would take this opportunity to extend grace to Peter and re-communicate his belief in him. Jesus always chose to see people for who they could be rather than who they were in that very moment.

3) Don’t get bitter and withdraw. I’ve had way too many pastors tell me they don’t do “friends”. Whhhhhhat? Listen we’ve all been hurt. We’ve all been tempted to withdraw into our own little cocoon and never trust again. Don’t fall into that trap. Jesus invested in a bunch of guys who he knew would abandon Him in His time of greatest need. Developing authentic relationships is risky business in the midst of leadership, but it’s a risk you need to take.

How do you deal with the loneliness of leadership?

Like many of you I’m spending a lot of time this week focusing on the final days in the life of Christ. Yesterday, while I was reading Matthew 21 as part of the 28 Day Challenge I started to think about several of the transformational leadership lessons I can learn from Christ in his final days leading up to the cross.

I’ve always thought the true character of a leader will be seen in times of crisis. This has been proven true throughout all of history and was certainly true of the person of Jesus Christ.

I was reminded yesterday reading Matthew 21, and specifically the text on the “triumphal entry,” that Jesus was surrounded by people who constantly had expectations of him. Most of his followers had some sort of agenda. They were following Him because they thought they were going to get something from him.

Mark 10:32-37 ³²They were on their way up to Jerusalem, with Jesus leading the way, and the disciples were astonished, while those who followed were afraid. Again he took the Twelve aside and told them what was going to happen to him. ³³“We are going up to Jerusalem,” he said, “and the Son of Man will be betrayed to the chief priests and teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles, ³⁴who will mock him and spit on him, flog him and kill him. Three days later he will rise.”

³⁵Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

³⁶“What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

³⁷They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

What? Jesus had just finished laying out his sacrificial mission only to have the disciples come back with “Hey could you do us a favor?”. Can you imagine how dis-heartening this was to him as their leader?

You probably have some idea don’t you?

Maybe you’re a pastor and you just laid out the vision you felt God has placed on your heart, only to have your church shoot it down because it’s going to inconvenience them.

As a parent you’ve probably sat down with your kids to pour out your heart about some of the changes that need to be made in your house, only to have your kids come back with some smart-alick response.

Maybe you took the lead in a friendship and confronted the other person about some questionable activity in their life, only to be chastised and rejected by them.

Here’s the bottom line. Whether you are a leader in your home, in your church or in your office, you need to know everyone has certain expectations of you. When your actions (right or wrong) don’t match up with their expectations of you, there will be trouble.

They’ll drop their palm leaves and pick up rocks. The applause will stop and the accusations will start. The flattery will end and the gossip will begin.

The question is: will you be able to stay focused on the mission to which God has called you? Will you stay the course as Jesus did or will you give into the temptation to simply please those around you? Will you turn bitter toward those people or forgive them until the end?

YOUR THOUGHTS?