I’ve read a lot of stupid things in my life but this has to be one of the stupidest, most ignorant, completely unfounded statements I’ve ever read (just ask me and I’ll tell you what I really think). While Ian Kerner, Ph.D. is probably a great guy (and I mean no personal offense towards him) I’ve got to TOTALLY disagree with him on the following statement he made during an interview for an article on the Today Show blog. He said…
For many guys porn is basically a 30-second spa day, complete with happy ending: It feels good, relieves stress and functions as a quick little treat — kind of like scarfing down a bag of Gummi Bears in the middle of the day. It doesn’t mean we’re not interested in having “a real meal” with the woman we love, but sometimes we’re in the mood for a snack.
He went on to describe pornography as a harmless distraction that really doesn’t impact an individual or their relationships with others.
Are you freaking kidding me?
When I read this I knew I had to speak to this because nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve met with countless individuals and couples over the years whose lives and relationships have been severely impacted by pornography.
* 42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.
* 41 percent of surveyed adults admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use.
Marriage Related Research, Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D. Christian Counseling Today, 2004 Vol. 12 No. 1.
* 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home.
Focus on the Family Poll, October 1, 2003.
I’m not here to try to pile on the guilt. Lord knows if you’re addicted to pornography you don’t need anymore guilt.
I just want to remind you of the truth which is porn is not a “30 second spa day” but a powerful cycle of addiction that can and will destroy your ability to enjoy intimacy with your partner in the way God intended.
I want to remind you that you don’t have to continue to allow your mind and soul to be poisoned by this stuff. You can find freedom from the cycle of guilt and shame you’re caught in!
One of the wisest things I’ve ever done is installed Covenant Eyes on my computer and established a system for accountability in this area of my life and I want to encourage you to do the same. If you have computers in your home and or work which don’t have some kind of filter on them I think you’re just asking for trouble.
Okay (deep breath), I’m stepping down off my soapbox.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and while I don’t usually condone anonymous comments feel free to leave them on this particular topic.
