I’ve talked about my own personal struggles.

I think it continues to be a growing  issue in our culture today. Rarely a week goes by that I don’t hear about another couple whose marriage is blowing up in our church with pornography being a primary issue.

I also talk to a ton of pastors who are secretly battling this nasty monster. They feel like they could never tell anyone they struggle with it so they choose to stay in the dark where this sin just continues to gain more and more momentum. Believe me when I say I know all about the criticism you’ll receive when you publicly talk about this stuff. But it will be the beginning of freedom for you.

With all this in mind I’m really excited about a new resource that’s available specifically for those of you in ministry called Internet Pornography: A Ministry Leader’s Handbook. In this FREE e-book from the great folks at Covenant Eyes which contains stories of pastors and counselors who dealt personally with the addiction of pornography and many who have broken free from Internet pornography addictions themselves. Please, please, please, take the time to read this. It could change your life.

And if you still don’t think this “porn” stuff is a big deal than check out this graphic which sums up some heartbreaking statistics.

This stat is absolutely heartbreaking and unacceptable to me. No wonder most pastors don’t make it in ministry long.  So why don’t they develop friends?

There’s tons of reason but here’s a few that come to my mind.

1) False Expectations: Many want their pastor to be friendly to everyone but close to no one!

2) False Assumptions: Many pastors have been told “You can’t EVER, EVER, trust people because they’ll use things you share with them against you one day.” (Side Note: Didn’t seem to stop Jesus.)

3) False Accusations: Many pastors will be criticized if they have close friends. If a normal person has close friends we call it healthy. If a pastor has close friends we call it a “clique.”

Pastors, don’t fall for it. You’ve been created for deep connectedness like everyone else. Develop and cultivate your close friendships (and encourage your wife to do the same). You’ll need them. Every single one of them!

Not going to spend a lot of time on that issue but do want to say this: I’m not suggesting you buy a lottery ticket. I’m not encouraging you to gamble. If I made you stumble or led you astray, I’m sincerely sorry. I think there are many more important things we can invest our money in besides the lottery, fast food, movie rentals, ice cream and other things that we blow money on to entertain ourselves.

The bigger issue is this: I understand the weight of my responsibility as a pastor and as a leader. I understand that I’m held to a higher level of accountability. I understand that some of you reading this think that blogging about my personal life is not a great idea. I want you to know that I don’t take my posts lightly. I usually have several people that read my post before I go public with them for that very reason.

But I also want to tell you this. This blog is not a place where you will find perfection. If you’re looking for that, you may want to drop this blog and pick up another. It’s a place where I talk about life. Specifically my life and what God is doing in my life and Cross Point Church. It’s a place where I will be open about what I struggle with and at the same time will share how Christ is forming Himself in me. It’s a place where you will find random fun posts about my family, my garden, and daily life, sprinkled among very strategic posts to make you think about where you are with God.

But use wisdom when reading this blog. I’m not always right. As a matter of fact, I’m often wrong. Don’t assume because I talk about it that I endorse it. Often I’m just trying to get us as a community to ask tough questions, and create community in the process.

There are times I write posts that I wish I could take back. There are times I write a post that I’m ashamed of, but it’s where I am. There are times I feel I may have made myself sound better than I am or wished I hadn’t been so honest.

I don’t know where the balance is in all of this, but I’m working on it. I know many of us are “working on it.” Be patient with me as I try to figure it all out and whatever you do, DON’T play the lottery.

How do you deal with the balance? Do you struggle with this?