WithoutWax.tv by Pete Wilson | Tag Archive | Parenting
Tag Archive - Parenting

Are Cell Phones Bad For Parenting?

I read THIS article in Time Magazine last night and it really got me thinking. Dominique Browning wrote,

“There was something to be said for the old-fashioned landline, with a handset so bulky, you had to tuck it between your neck and shoulder to get your hands free. They didn’t — couldn’t — go everywhere with us. Now we’re tethered to our mobiles — addicted, even. They’ve become handy tools for avoidance, and it’s our children who are getting the bad end of the deal.

All around me, I see parents with their babies and toddlers and young kids — but not with them. The grownups are on the phone. The dad pushing his son on the swing set while hands-free on his mobile isn’t really with his child. The mom pushing her baby in a pram while she’s yakking on the phone isn’t really with her child.

I’ve learned it’s possible to be present with your family and not really be PRESENT with your family.

One of the best decisions I’ve made in the past two years was taking email off my phone. I’ve never missed it once and while I believe it’s made me a more attentive husband and father it hasn’t once made me a less effective pastor.

Listen, I’m not trying to make anyone guilty, but I do think we need to take the time to think about how technology is impacting our families. Just read these final words of this article. Wow!!!!

Is being a parent boring? Sometimes. Lots of times. And guess what. Those boring moments are what you will miss the most once your children are grown. Carpool is when you should be hanging on every word. Walks are when the world unfolds at a child’s feet, in the safety of your company. The parent is the genius who gives names to things and encourages a child’s attention to detail on the path. The tiny accretion of daily routines is dull and divine. Of course there’s always plenty of time for a phone call, or 10 of them. Children are always slowly walking, slowly eating, slowly looking, slowly reading, slowly going nowhere, until suddenly they’re gone.

And giving the kids their own phones in the name of fair play doesn’t cut it. That’s happening all too often; families are together, but each person is in her own bubble of technology. Some of us worry about radiation and the developing brain. But we should be worried about disconnectedness and the developing mind.

Any thoughts?

Dancing For Money?

I’ve watched my kids do some crazy things in our neighborhood to make money.

There was the time I watched Jett pick up sticks in one of the neighbor’s yard only to later go to their door and try to sell them some “firewood.” He tried to sell “diamonds” which were actually just rocks.  We’ve had several watered down kool-aid & recycled Halloween candy stands. However, this one may top them all.
This week Brandi looked out the window to find our two youngest dancing in the front yard…

 

They were also holding this sign…

 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love their entrepreneurial spirit. I encourage my kids to be creative and innovative, but this isn’t exactly what I was thinking. Dear God, please be with me and please let this be the last time they dance for money. The next two decades will be interesting.

What’s the craziest thing you or one of your kids have done to make money?

Why We Had Kids (Part 13)

Our “Thing”

Developing a intimate relationship with each one of my boys is something I work really hard at. I’m increasingly learning that each one of them is so unique. I’ve noticed that with each one of them there seems to be an environment where they are more apt to be open to significant conversations. I call this place our “thing.” It’s the activity or environment that makes your child feel loved,  invested in and connected to you.

With Gage, my middle son, right now it’s all about legos. If I’m playing legos with him he’ll talk to me for hours. With Jett, my oldest son, it’s all about hunting. We went hunting together for the first time last week. We created some unforgettable moments in the deer stand and he got his first deer!

Brewer is just five, but right now if I’ll let him play with my iPad he’ll sit in my lap for hours showing me how amazing his video game skills are.

The “thing” with each of them will change over time. What must not change is my pursuit.

What’s your “thing” with your kids these days? Do you remember what it was with your parents growing up?

 

 

A Chilling Reality

Last night I read an absolutely heartbreaking article. The article released online yesterday by Time Magazine said…

Almost 40% of kids attempting suicide make their first try in middle or even elementary school, according to research that suggests that kids who think they want to kill themselves are considering it long before previously assumed.

About 1 in 9 children have attempted suicide before their high school graduation, but learning that they’re making plans as early as elementary school is especially chilling.

In a study published in the November issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, researchers at the University of Washington surveyed 883 young adults ages 18 or 19 about previous suicide attempts and learned that 78 — close to 9% — had tried to commit suicide.

Suicide attempt rates rose steeply at age 12 — around sixth grade — and peaked two to three years later. The 39 teens who said they had tried to commit suicide multiple times reported first attempting when they were as young as 9, which is the average age of a third-grader. Teens who said they had tried just once were more likely to have attempted suicide later, in high school.

Being the father of three young boys I hardly have words to respond to this article.

I’m not going to attempt to explain why this is happening. Is it possible that kids have felt this way this early throughout history and we’re just now discover it? Sure. Is it possible we live in world where our kids are growing up faster than ever and they simply can’t handle the pressure being put on them? Sure.

What I do know is this:

1) As a parent I need to take my kids and their emotions serious regardless of their age. I need to take time to stay emotionally and spiritually connected to them. I need to take time to have one-on-one conversations where I ask them how they’re doing, how they’re feeling.

2) We need to be praying for our kids. I think we often have no idea how much is going on in those little minds. Their fears, concerns, worries, brokenness and stress are all very real.

Before Kids?

 

Yesterday afternoon my mom had all three of the kids and Brandi and I had an entire afternoon just to ourselves. While we’ll often go out at night without them it’s rare to be alone during the middle of the day.  At some point this prompted her to ask, “What in the world did we do before we had kids?”  At first I thought, “Well, I have no idea what we did before kids,” but then it all came flooding back. We…

-Watched more movies that weren’t from Disney

-Walked around the mall without having to take a kid to the bathroom every five minutes

-Went out to eat and without having to spend half our time saying “Shhhhhh” and picking food up off the ground

So what did you do before you had kids?

A Journey Marked By His Grace

 

Growing up I had a Sunday School teacher that was quite fond of reminding us that we were all a work in progress. While I can’t absolutely prove it I’m pretty sure she had a song that went a long with this concept.

I really wish spiritual transformation wasn’t such a process. I’m tired of making the same mistakes over and over. I’m done with being lured in by the same temptations.

The other day my oldest son, Jett, chose to make a few decisions that were less than smart. He had once again been caught directly, and in my opinion, purposefully disobeying something we had engaged in lengthy conversations about.

I was right to be upset and disappointed in his decisions, but my reaction was equally as devastating. I responded in anger saying things to him in a tone and spirit that were quite hurtful. Plain and simple I had lost my temper with him.

About 15 minutes later I sat there on the edge of his bed. With his face buried in his pillow crying, I asked him to forgive me for the way I had responded to him.

I couldn’t help but feel defeated. This wasn’t the first time I’ve had to ask him to forgive me for losing my temper with him. Shouldn’t this be something I have control over by now? Shouldn’t I be mature enough to control my emotions? Why do I have to continue to hurt the people around me that I care so much about with my sin?

I’m in no way making excuses for my behavior but, I’m learning that you can’t microwave spiritual formation. We want the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and faithfulness to be evident tomorrow. But I think there is a reason that Jesus likens our spiritual growth to trees (Jesus said, ‘I am the vine and you are the branches’). Because it’s a process and sometimes a slow one.

But this is the incredible beauty that God has called us to. It’s not a flawless process but a journey marked by His grace. It’s not a stale existence characterized by a mindless existence simply waiting for eternity. Not even close. We’ve been invited to connect with God each and every day as He brings about this incredible transforming process in our lives right in the midst of this beautifully broken world.

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