So, yesterday I received one of those nasty (at least in my opinion) comments on the blog. Criticism is nothing new in my life. I’ve been in ministry since I was 18 years old and it’s kind of always been around.

Over the years people have publicly applauded how I’ve handled it, but to be honest it’s all been a fraud. While externally I learned to finesse my way around it, internally I would obsess about my critics.

Why? Because I’m narcissistic. I’m obsessed with myself.

Why do I focus on the one negative comment?
Why do I work so hard to formulate a response proving I’m right?
Why do I go to great lengths to gain the critics approval?

Because I’m soft-hearted? Because I care about others so much?

Nope.

Because I’m Narcissistic.

The problem is not the critics. Critics do what critics do. The problem is I’m absorbed with myself and wanting others to applaud me and approve of me.

That’s the ugly truth. And to make matters worse this narcissism which so many of us possess keeps me from experiencing all God has planned for me.

I’ve been reading an incredible book entitled “The Shattered Lantern” by Ronald Rolheiser and he gave this great example of how this happens in our life.

“Imagine taking a walk in a beautiful forest on a splendid summer’s day. The earth is ablaze with the fire of God and the sights, sounds and smells are enough to make you want to take your shoes off before the burning bush. But if your mind and heart are hopelessly torn, and if, for example, you are painfully infatuated with someone who has just rejected you, you will see virtually nothing on this walk-not just of beauty and creation, but nothing at all. You are inside yourself, torn by your pain, endlessly reviewing past and future conversations, possibilities, and fantasies. For all you are actually seeing, hearing, or smelling of beauty and nature, you could just as profitably be walking in a parking lot or a rubbish dump. You are locked in an inner world whose obsessive reality absorbs all your awareness.

I’m tired of walking in the parking lot. I want to experience the fullness of God!

How about you?