Monday mornings are always a scary time for me. I know I’m going to be sorting through tons of e-mails in regard to my weekend message. I enjoy getting the feedback and sometimes going deeper with the conversations, but as you might imagine, I receive my fair share of nasty e-mails. However, every once in a while, I get one that truly falls in the category of “constructive criticism.”
Pastor Dave Brown was visiting Cross Point Nashville this weekend and offered some very detailed and much-appreciated constructive points on my speaking skills. If you’re like me, then these kinds of things are difficult to hear at first. However, if you will take the time to listen to the people around you, I believe you can become a much better communicator. If you speak in public at any level, read through these and see if they apply to you. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes.
I would simply like to offer you a couple of small things that I believe will make a huge difference in your ministry.
1. You and I are very similar in our delivery style. I’m not very dynamic but, through Toastmasters, I learned to vary my speech volume and even get loud every once in awhile, when I’m genuinely passionate, just to get their attention. It works. I have to work at it. I have to sometimes do it consciously until it becomes more natural. But it works. It wakes up the guy on the fifth row. He needs to hear what we’re saying.
2. This is the MOST important thing I can offer you and you really need to hear this. It will make a HUGE difference. Please slow your head movement down. Please talk to me when I’m in the congregation. To ME. And then, slowly, look to another section of the church and talk to them. Look someone in the eyes and hold it for about a full sentence. Talk to that person. And while you’re talking to some section that’s to my right or left, I promise I won’t feel left out. I’ll watch you and hang on your every word… because I know you’re going to slowly come back to me and my section and talk to us for awhile. I mention this in my blogs about two other churches where the pastors did it way worse than you do. But in every case, including yesterday, I never felt you were talking to anyone in particular. I felt you were just throwing the words out there and hoping someone would catch them. Make me hear you. Look me in the eye. It’s okay. I won’t feel offended. I’ve had so many people tell me, “I felt you were talking right to me.” That’s because I was. And I didn’t even know it. I just randomly picked a pair of eyes and gave that person one complete thought – just between the two of us. If you watch Joyce Meyer (you may not like her, but she does know how to command an audience and draw a following), she’s casual, slow in her body movements, deliberate, and she looks people in the eye – and I know she can’t see anyone really. The stage lights are too bright. Enough. Dead horse. But I can’t tell you how much this will make a difference. People won’t be able to tell you why, but they’ll be able to follow you better. Every time you “searchlight” from right to left extremes, they’re trying to keep up with your movement and they’re not hearing what you just said. And, if anything, give the people in the middle section MORE of your attention, not less. There they are sitting right down front in the middle. They deserve to be treated a little special. And talk to your cameras. If you’re simulcasting, those people in Dickson need to feel like you’re talking to them, too. They NEED your eye contact.
3. I loved the way you closed your service. Most others we’ve visited had no time of introspection and prayer. And then when you actually started talking us through this time, giving us ideas as to where we might be judging someone, it was perfect. EXCEPT that the band obviously came up and starting tuning up their guitars, etc. Right in the middle of the most important time of the service. And I never looked up, but I knew what was going on because I couldn’t hear you anymore. I heard the guitarist tuning up. I’m a guitarist. I know it’s important to tune up. But it can be done so softly that no one hears it. Or better yet, I’ve learned that music behind your speaking during this very important and sometimes emotional time, enhances it greatly. Just like in a movie (which you know so much about, obviously). Music behind the script and acting takes it all to a new level. Get your P&W leader to begin playing something softly while you’re closing your sermon and leading people in prayer. That will cover up some of the noise the band makes when they re-enter the stage and tune up.
4. It’s a small thing and perhaps yesterday was just one of those sermons where, for some reason, you didn’t do it when you normally do. You talked about judging others, etc. and you alluded to your own struggles with such things. VERY COOL. People need to know the Pastor’s a person, too, and we’re all doing this Christian life struggle thing together. I know that’s one thing that people love about you. I think it would be even more effective if you told us HOW you struggle. When were you judgmental? What does that look like? Can you make it funny? Can we laugh at you a little while we know we’re laughing at ourselves as well? Can we find out you struggle with being judgmental in very specific ways so we can pray for you? And so we can then, more easily discover (with the help of the Holy Spirit) the specific ways we’re being judgmental as well? You may do this a lot but I don’t recall any specific personal examples, yesterday. If you gave some, then you should ask yourself why I don’t remember them.
