WithoutWax.tv by Pete Wilson | Tag Archive | criticism
Tag Archive - criticism

Birthdays, Rejected Books & Approval Addiction

May 4, 2012 in Conversations with Pete Wilson Podcast, Family with 1 Comment

Hope you guys had a great weekend.

Saturday, my sons, Jett and Brewer, turned 11 and 6 respectively.  Wow! Time flies. Man, I love these boys more and more each day.

Today I’m releasing the 3rd edition of our new podcast. Would love for you to join us. Talking about all kinds of things including a book I wrote that was TOTALLY rejected by my publisher. It was a huge learning moment for me. Hope it will be helpful to you.

Any questions or topics you would like to hear us talk about?

Join us for this conversation and for future podcasts, we would love to answer YOUR questions. If you have a question you can call us at 218-248-7383 or leave a comment on this post.

Podcast: Subscribe | Download | Play on mobile

Things That Shine

January 27, 2012 in Leadership with 36 Comments

I got a phone call on Wednesday that blew me away. A guy called me to apologize for something he had publicly written about me over two years ago. As he apologized I played it off as if I had totally forgotten about what he had said. But in my moments of doubt and insecurity the words he wrote about me would come flooding into my mind. I could see them as clearly as if I was holding them on a piece of paper in front of me, because in many ways that had been etched into my mind. The conversation I had with him was incredibly healing, but it got me thinking.

Criticism happens, right?

I don’t care if you lead a public ministry, bag groceries, stay at home with your kids, or govern a state. You’re going to be criticized for the way you do it.

We don’t like to think about it much until we overhear it or read it, but guess what?

It’s happening right now in THIS moment. Some people don’t like you. They don’t like how you…

dress

sing

lead

preach

vote

think

write

spend

And there’s not a thing you can do about it. Nothing.

So in the words of my friend and favorite theologian Taylor Swift “Don’t you worry your pretty little mind. People throw rocks at things that shine.”

So, today, do your thing. Shine bright. And remember there’s a bunch of us who really believe in you!!

False Praise & Distorted Criticism

January 18, 2012 in Leadership with 29 Comments

One of my ministry heroes has always been Chuck Swindoll. I’ve listened to his sermons on and off since I was in college.  One time I heard him say…

“There will be people in your life who, basically, want to worship you. In their eyes you can do no wrong. They put you up on a pedestal and believe every word, every action, every thought is pure as the fallen snow.”

“On the other hand you will have your critics for whom you can do nothing right. Every word, action, and thought will be criticized with little thought to who you are as a person.”

If I remember correctly, he went on to essentially say that the wise leader will not take either one of these groups seriously. I don’t think he meant we shouldn’t still love them because, I believe we should. I think he meant we shouldn’t allow them to shape and mold us. Their false worship and eager critical hearts will simply damage the work God is doing in you and through you.

I’m embarrassed how much time I’ve wasted focusing on that blistering email, brutal review or just down right hateful comment.

Hear me now: Don’t waste your time listening to false praise or distorted criticism. The praise will go straight to your head and the criticism will go directly to your heart. Both will lead you astray and both will damage the work God is doing in you and through you.

Which is more likely to get you off course? Praise or criticism?

Our Need To Label

July 26, 2010 in Uncategorized with 107 Comments

Sometimes I just laugh at the goofy criticism people direct at me. I mean do people really think they can accurately  sum up my entire theology  by reading into a statement I made on twitter that consists of less than 140 characters or by taking one blog post completely out of context? Here’s a couple great examples from last week. I’m not going to link the source because borrowing my blog platform is part of their strategy in the first place.

Pete Wilson is a pastor in the Purpose Driven/Seeker Driven sector sounding more and more like those timid fellows who are within the Emerging Church.

And today Wilson would warble:

Ah yes, Wilson would appear to have been very well conditioned into today’s effete centered on the self form of Christianity. Indeed, he has quite ably parroted the “humble” pastor’s postmodern partyline.

Well,  Apprising Ministries still remembers the day when leaders were actually leaders. As for me, I think few things are as inspiring as a godly man who can tell the flock, I know the way; follow me.

Here’s another Christian blog (I use that term loosely) who wrote this last week:

TN seeker Pastor Pete Wilson promoting Twilight books and movies?

Read his post here. This is a example of a seeker pastor who cares more about being relevant and culturally hip than preaching the gospel.

And we wonder why so many people are screwed up in our churches. Cause we have Pete Wilson types in the pulpit.

Listen, I’m not complaining or whining. I get it. Part of having a public ministry is every word that comes out of my mouth gets analyzed. It’s just the way it is. They’ll pour through hundreds of posts and tweets until they find one they can use to make an example out of. I’ve stopped trying to defend myself against such critics as in most cases as it’s usually a losing battle.

I think what bothers me is this incessant need Christians seem to have to categorize other Christians. The above critics labeled me seeker/emergent/postmodern and a host of other things based off a couple sentences.

We  (yes, I do this too) tend to quickly and vocally label everyone around us. Their liberal or conservative, sensitive or callous, contemporary or traditional, attractional or missional,  important or irrelevant.

These labels give us the illusion of understanding the actual person and reveal more about our insecurities than about our love for the Gospel.

Do yourself a favor this week and fight the temptation to label those around you. Why don’t you instead take the time to actually get to know them? Find out what’s going on in their life. Find out what they truly believe. You may be surprised at what you’ll find if you’re willing to explore beyond your premature and childish labels.

False Praise & Distorted Criticism

October 15, 2009 in Church Leadership with 94 Comments

One of the highlights of Catalyst for me last week was listening to Chuck Swindoll preach. I’ve listened to his sermons since I was in college.  He shared with us the leadership lessons he’s learned over the decades of his ministry. One of his points which really stuck out with me was his thoughts about the opinions of others.

He essentially said,

“There will be people in your life who basically want to worship you. In their eyes you can do no wrong. They put you up on a pedestal and believe every word, every action, every thought is pure as the fallen snow.”

“On the other hand you will have your critics for whom you can do nothing right. Every word, action, and thought will be criticized with little thought to who you are as a person.”

He said the wise leader will not take either one of these groups serious. I don’t think he meant we shouldn’t still love them because I believe we should. I think he meant we shouldn’t allow them to shape and mold us. Their false worship and eager critical hearts will simply damage the work God is doing in you and through you.

Late last night someone sent me a link to a radio program that had aired earlier in the day. I listened to this guy spend two hours bashing me and taking one of my messages and going line by line tearing it apart. My first thought was…well, I can’t tell you my first thought. My second thought was, Who has this kind of time? And why would he go online and pick the one message he thought he could pick on the most? Why would someone who calls himself a Christian do this? How does this build up the Kingdom?

And then I thought about Swindoll’s words and I turned the radio show off, shut my computer, climbed into bed with my amazing wife and was reminded of how grateful I am for the things God is doing in my life.

Hear me now: Don’t waste your time listening to false praise or distorted criticism. The praise will go straight to your head and the criticism will go directly to your heart. Both will lead you astray and both will damage the work God is doing in you and through you.

Which is more likely to get you off course? Praise or criticism?

*Note: Please do not go on the guy’s blog above and say negative things. A reaction is exactly what he’s looking for and it only get’s him going more. At the end of the day he’s someone I’m called to love and extend grace to. While I clearly don’t do ministry in the way he does, we’re on the same team. Plus, he’s right. It really wasn’t my best message. :)

My Nagging Narcissism

July 22, 2009 in Church Leadership, God, Relationships with 101 Comments

So, yesterday I received one of those nasty (at least in my opinion) comments on the blog. Criticism is nothing new in my life. I’ve been in ministry since I was 18 years old and it’s kind of always been around.

Over the years people have publicly applauded how I’ve handled it, but to be honest it’s all been a fraud. While externally I learned to finesse my way around it, internally I would obsess about my critics.

Why? Because I’m narcissistic. I’m obsessed with myself.

Why do I focus on the one negative comment?
Why do I work so hard to formulate a response proving I’m right?
Why do I go to great lengths to gain the critics approval?

Because I’m soft-hearted? Because I care about others so much?

Nope.

Because I’m Narcissistic.

The problem is not the critics. Critics do what critics do. The problem is I’m absorbed with myself and wanting others to applaud me and approve of me.

That’s the ugly truth. And to make matters worse this narcissism which so many of us possess keeps me from experiencing all God has planned for me.

I’ve been reading an incredible book entitled “The Shattered Lantern” by Ronald Rolheiser and he gave this great example of how this happens in our life.

“Imagine taking a walk in a beautiful forest on a splendid summer’s day. The earth is ablaze with the fire of God and the sights, sounds and smells are enough to make you want to take your shoes off before the burning bush. But if your mind and heart are hopelessly torn, and if, for example, you are painfully infatuated with someone who has just rejected you, you will see virtually nothing on this walk-not just of beauty and creation, but nothing at all. You are inside yourself, torn by your pain, endlessly reviewing past and future conversations, possibilities, and fantasies. For all you are actually seeing, hearing, or smelling of beauty and nature, you could just as profitably be walking in a parking lot or a rubbish dump. You are locked in an inner world whose obsessive reality absorbs all your awareness.

I’m tired of walking in the parking lot. I want to experience the fullness of God!

How about you?

It’s Got To Stop!

June 11, 2008 in Church Leadership, Cross Point Church, God, Leadership, Preaching, Religion with 84 Comments

I have been thinking about a post on the topic of criticizing one another and then I read THIS POST by Mark Batterson, pastor at National Community Church in D.C. that summed it up so well. My heart has been really heavy lately as I have watched Christians absolutely destroy one another. I just don’t get it. Mark said…

I think there are basically two kinds of people. People who are doing things and people who aren’t doing things, but they need something to do so they take potshots at people who are doing things.

There. I said it.

Come on, folks. Let’s be about the Father’s business.

In the words of Michelangelo: criticize by creating!

Can I be brutally honest?

The psychological tendency to try to feel better about ourselves by pointing out what’s wrong with someone else is immaturity at its worst. And no where is it more prevalent than the church

Now, I will be the first to say that I have displayed this kind of immaturity in the past. I have also been the recipient of my fair share of this kind of immaturity over the years and even more so lately. In the end, nobody wins. Nobody grows. Nobody is reached. Nobody is loved. Nobody becomes more like Christ. It’s got to stop.

That’s just my opinion. What do you guys think?

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