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Beauty, Lust, & Options

April 17, 2012 in Spiritual Growth with 19 Comments

Read an article in Relevant entitled, “Beauty Vs. Sexuality” and it has my mind churning. I like the way this guy thinks, but I bet there’s some people who will line up to shoot some holes in his theory.

Hugo Schwyzer writes,

In many discussions about modesty and the male gaze, someone quotes the famous line from Job: “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl” (Job 31:1). Note the pesky adverb. If men can’t look at women without sexual longing, isn’t the “lustfully” redundant? Perhaps Scripture isn’t telling men not to look, it’s reminding men how to look. The problem of lust is that it’s selfish; when we lust we appropriate for ourselves what isn’t ours to take and, all too often, lose sight of the humanity of the person for whom we’re lusting. The implication in Job, however, is that men can “look” without lusting. The covenant isn’t to avoid looking, or even delighting in what is seen; the covenant is to look while stopping short of sexual objectification. If we believe men can’t separate these things, we sell them—and we sell the reality of grace—woefully short.

Because we refuse to take seriously men’s ability to not lust in the presence of loveliness, we shame the great many women who—whatever their other fabulous qualities—also want to be affirmed for their beauty. If every man is “fighting a battle” against lust, and if few men are capable of distinguishing appreciation for beauty from carnal longing, then every woman who dresses to be validated becomes a traitor to the cause of spiritual purity. The end result is devastating for too many. Lauren Lankford Dubinsky, founder of the Good Women Project, wrote in an email that “women are victimized by the soul-crushing weight of having your motives (or even personal worth) judged incorrectly on the basis of something as simple as an article of clothing. A huge percentage of women within the Church are silently battling eating disorders, self-harm, pornography addiction and depression—all stemming from misplaced shame, a shame they feel because fellow Christians have equated their beauty with intentional malice or deliberate seductiveness toward men.”

To put it another way, we shame men by insisting they’re fundamentally weak, constantly vulnerable to being overwhelmed by sexual impulses. We shame women for not being better stewards of that supposed weakness. That shame doesn’t just lead to unhealthy sexual relationships (including between husbands and wives); it leaves too many men feeling like potential predators and too many women feeling as if they’re vain, shallow temptresses.

I really loved when he wrote, “we refuse to take seriously men’s ability to not lust in the presence of loveliness.” That’s good stuff.

Would love to hear your thoughts. Do we too quickly rely on shame (towards both men and women) in the battle of lust?

2 Things Most Christians Are Good At

April 16, 2012 in Leadership, Spiritual Growth, Videos with 28 Comments

It’s never good when dad can’t make a baseball game.

Because then mom has to take video.

And when mom takes the video that means something bad is going to happen (like getting pegged by a ball).

And when something bad happens then mom is going to overreact.

And when mom overreacts it’s worse than getting hit by the ball.

Therefore dad shouldn’t miss any more games.

Anyway this video got me thinking. You know most Christians in the church are really good at two things:

1) Doing Nothing

I’ve seen this in my own life. There are times I fall victim to sitting on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to get in the game and do something. One of the most convicting verses for me in the Bible is James 4:17 which says “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” Ouch, it gets me every time!

2) Overreacting

This one is often excused away as “passion” but I think it’s equally damaging to our mission. In an effort to do the “right thing” we zealously make assumptions, jump to false conclusions, and generally act like fools. I think we would all do well to learn the power of patience and the wisdom of calm.

So which extreme are you tempted toward. Doing nothing or overreacting?

Rick Warren on ‘Empty Promises’

April 12, 2012 in Leadership, Spiritual Growth with 11 Comments

When I was a senior in college I waited in a 30 minute line to have Rick Warren sign my copy of “The Purpose Driven Church.” That book had a huge impact on my life and ministry and even though I was one of hundreds that day I’ll never forget the kindness he showed me.

Over the past year Rick has become a dear friend and mentor. I was so honored that he was willing to write the foreword to my new book Empty Promises: The Truth About You, Your Desires, and the Lies You’re Believing which released this week. As usual I thought what he had to say was brilliant…

Mother Teresa once observed that in India people are starving physically, but in America people are starving spiritually and emotionally.

God wired each of us with a spiritual hunger that can only be satisfied by him. We use phrases like “There’s got to be more to life than this.” or “I’m bored . . . restless . . . empty . . . unfulfilled.” Or even “I feel like something is missing in my life.” Even when things are going well, there’s always that little gnawing feeling on the inside. It is our hunger for God. We’re made by God and for God, and until we understand that, life will never make sense. We make the mistake of looking for satisfaction in all the wrong places.

That’s what this book is about. It uncoveres the idols we create in our own hearts when we fail to look to God to meet our deepest needs. These idols of pleasure, prestige, passion, position, popularity, performance, and possessions inevitably betray us and let us down. They are, as my dear friend Pete Wilson says, “Empty Promises.”

Too often we allow ourselves to be conned by “when and then” thinking. When I get married . . . when I make a lot of money . . . when I achieve a certain goal or status . . . THEN I’ll be happy. But, as Solomon said, “No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.” (Ecclesiastes 1:8 NLT)

Advertising today is filled with empty promises that offer to fulfill our spiritual hunger. Products from coffee to cigarettes promise “satisfaction guaranteed” and “The taste that satisfies!” If that were true you’d only need one cup of coffee and never need another cigarette!

Without Christ, we tend to approach life like we do a late night refrigerator raid: We’re restless and can’t sleep so we get up and go to the refrigerator. We don’t know what we want—we just know we are hungry. We open the door and stare, scanning the contents, hoping something will look good and catch our attention. Next, we start “grazing”—nibbling a little on this, then nibbling a little on that. But nothing tastes good. Nothing satisfies. We close the refrigerator door, and go back to bed still hungry. That scene describes the lives of most people.

Today there are more than twice as many products and services available as there were ten years ago, and most of them promise what they cannot deliver. But are people twice as happy as they were ten years ago? Of course not. One man admitted to me, “Even when I get what I want, it’s not what I want! I’m still dissatisfied.”

This book points you to the answer in your search for satisfaction and significance. It will change your life if you’ll listen, learn, and apply the powerful truths it contains. Pete Wilson will help you recognize your real hunger and the only source for real satisfaction.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your hearts desires.” Don’t seek happiness, seek God! The promise of happiness isn’t contained in a product. That promise is found in a person—Jesus Christ. “For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding ‘Yes!’” (2 Cor. 1:20) I invite you to begin the journey!

Rick Warren
Pastor, Saddleback Church

It’s A Big Day

April 10, 2012 in Spiritual Growth with 20 Comments

Today is a BIG day as over a year’s worth of work is finally coming to fruition and my second book, Empty Promises: The Truth About You, Your Desires, and the Lies You’re Believing, is releasing nationally.

This book is incredibly important to me because I think one of the biggest problems in Christianity today is that we mainly focus on “sin management.” We want to edit behaviors instead of change hearts, but I think Jesus made it clear that he wasn’t interested in us spending our time trying to perfect external Christianity.

We want to pretend like God just wants to rearrange a little furniture in the house or maybe dust it up a bit. But if you look out the window there’s God with a wrecking ball. You see the issues we face in our life go down to the very foundation.

Hope For The Hopeless

April 6, 2012 in God, Spiritual Growth with 26 Comments

*Praying that each one of you has an amazing Easter Weekend. The following post is a bit longer than normal, but I got a feeling it contains a reminder that some of your desperately need this weekend.

The other day I stood in line at my local coffee house. I was in a curious mood and just watched the four or five people in front of me as we stood in this unusually slow line. Their body language and facial expressions said it all. There were hands on the hips expressing disgust at the current inconvenience, some were rolling their eyes as they glanced up momentarily from texting on their cell phone, and there was the predictable looking at the watch and then looking at the line and then looking back at the watch.

Most of us do not like waiting for anything. We live in a day of fast everything and waiting for anything seems like a major inconvenience. I must confess, I don’t like waiting either. I don’t like standing in line for my favorite cup of coffee, flipping though magazines in the waiting room of the doctor’s office and I sure don’t like waiting in traffic. And if I can just be honest with you, I don’t like waiting on God either.

Lewis Smedes described waiting like this: “Waiting is our destiny. As creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for, we wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light. We wait in fear for a happy ending that we cannot write. We wait for a ‘not yet’ that feels like a ‘not ever.’”

This is what we often see in the anatomy of hope. There is an event that takes place that sucks the life out of you. Something goes horribly wrong:

A dream dies.

A relationship ends.

A job dissipates.

A desire is crushed.

You’re left there standing, waiting, paralyzed by hopelessness. You start to wonder…

Did God forget his promises?

Does God know?

Does God care?

Luke 23:44-49 44 It was about noon, and the whole land became dark until three o’clock in the afternoon, 45 because the sun did not shine. The curtain in the Temple was torn in two. 46 Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Father, I give you my life.” After Jesus said this, he died.

47 When the army officer there saw what happened, he praised God, saying, “Surely this was a good man!”

48 When all the people who had gathered there to watch saw what happened, they returned home, beating their chests because they were so sad. 49 But those who were close friends of Jesus, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance and watched.

Notice how Jesus’ closest followers reacted. The gospel account says they “stood at a distance and watched.”

Have you ever been so hopeless you couldn’t do a thing? You couldn’t get mad or fight or even cry? Have you ever felt so hopeless you didn’t have the energy or passion to even get ticked off?

I believe this is the emotional state of Jesus’ followers. Nothing seems to be happening. They feel hopeless, as if they’re completely alone.

Now, we know the end of this story. We know that God was, in fact, doing his best work yet. But there would be a waiting period.

It was Friday, remember, when Jesus was crucified. But the paralyzing hopelessness the disciples experienced continued to intensify as they moved into Saturday.

I think it’s interesting that we don’t talk a lot about Saturday in the church. We spend a lot of time talking about Good Friday, which of course we should. This is the day redemption happened through the shedding of Christ’s blood. It’s a very important day.

Nobody would argue that Easter Sunday is a day of celebration. We celebrate that Jesus conquered death so that we can have life. It doesn’t get any better than Easter Sunday.

But we don’t hear a lot about Saturday do we? Saturday seems like a day when nothing is happening. In reality, it’s a day of a whole lot questioning, doubting, wondering, and definitely waiting— a day of helplessness and hopelessness. It’s a day when we begin to wonder if God is asleep at the wheel or simply powerless to do anything our about our current problems.

While we don’t spend a lot of time talking about Saturday, I think so much of our life here on this earth is lived out feeling somewhat trapped in “Saturday.” I’m trying to get to a place in my life where I can embrace “Saturday.” I’m trying to get to a place where I can view it as a type of preparation for what I believe God might be doing in my life.

You may currently be in the midst of a horrible, out-of-control situation. You feel as if God is not there, that there’s nothing that can be done.

But here is the message of the gospel for you while you’re stuck in your helpless, hopeless Saturday life: God does his best work in hopeless situations.

We worship a God who specializes in resurrections. He specializes in hopeless situations. After all, at Easter, we celebrate the fact that he conquered death— the ultimate hopeless situation— so you could have life.

His followers were dejected and dismal and hopeless— and then Jesus rose from the dead. God did the impossible and in a matter of hours the disciples journeyed from hopeless to hope-filled; from powerless to powerful. They saw him risen and everything changed. The story of our salvation was born out of extraordinary uncertainty. But that’s the way hope works.

And no, that doesn’t take away your cancer.

That doesn’t erase the bankruptcy you’re in the midst of.

That doesn’t heal your broken relationship.

That doesn’t replace your shattered dream.

But it can remind you that while life is uncertain, God is not. While our power is limited, God is limitless. While our hope is fragile, God himself is hope.

Your world may feel chaotic, especially when you’re stuck in a Saturday struggling hopelessly and waiting desperately.

But no doubt about it, God is still in control. And one way or another, Sunday will dawn.

Fighting For The Ten Commandments

April 5, 2012 in Spiritual Growth with 31 Comments

I read an article in USA Today this week that reports that Tennessee lawmakers are making yet another push to get the Ten Commandments back in public places. It states…

The bill — HB 2658 — could put Tennessee once again at the center of the ongoing debate about whether it violates the U.S. Constitution to display the Ten Commandments on public property.

I also recently heard about another religious group who was trying desperately to find a legal way to get The Ten Commandments back into public schools. According to this group, the removal of these laws is why there is so much immoral activity in the schools today.

As a way of responding to this cultural dilemma, this group has launched what they call “The Ten Rules” campaign, a grassroots campaign that encourages students to put a special “Ten Commandments” book cover on each of their school books.

While this group does do many good things to protect the rights of evangelical Christians, I believe this “The Ten Rules” campaign is misguided. For one thing, the front of the book cover depicts a white-bearded Moses holding The Ten Commandments. But the biggest problem (in my opinion) is the picture’s caption: “These aren’t suggestions! They’re God’s Law.”

Though the group’s book cover campaign may produce an awareness of sin, the theology is very law-centered. Wouldn’t it be a better idea (and perhaps a more effective idea) to produce a book cover that proclaims the existence of a Creator who passionately loves people and longs to be in a relationship with humanity? (Genesis 1:1, Acts 17:24) Or why not boast about God’s promise of everlasting life? (John 3:16, 2 Corinthians 5:20) Or what about God’s grace?

Am I against the Ten Commandments being hung in a school or the courthouse? No, not at all. Do I think that will change the drifting hearts of today’s generation? Not for a second.

What do you think? Should having the Ten Commandments displayed in public places be something we should be spending a lot of time and energy fighting for?

Monday Morning Mega Letdown

April 1, 2012 in Spiritual Growth with 33 Comments

Friday’s record-breaking $656 million Mega Millions lottery prize went to three exceedingly lucky winners in three different states and just about everyone else is back to work today.

The odds weren’t too good. In fact they were about one in 176 million.

USA Today reported…

By Friday night, after it’d grown for more than nine weeks, Americans had spent nearly $1.5 billion on Mega Millions tickets — the equivalent of nearly $5 for every man, woman and child in the USA. They spent more than $429 million on Friday alone.

When a lottery is getting a lot of press, for some reason, I often get asked on twitter or via email about my personal stance on the lottery. People will ask if Cross Point would receive a donation from someone who had won the lottery.

Now, please keep in mind that I’ve only bought one lottery ticket in my whole life (it was on my honeymoon 15 years ago). I don’t think it’s a good personal investment, but I want to make it extremely clear that I would absolutely receive a donation from someone who won. So…..if you happen to be one of the three that won…you know how to get a hold of me.

So I was wondering, do you think a church, shelter, or any ministry driven non-profit organization, should accept the money? Why or why not?

If you won, what is the first thing you would do with your money?

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