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Loyalty Is Dead

April 18, 2012 in Relationships with 11 Comments

Have you seen this video yet?

A black Labrador retriever, that braved traffic to stay by another dog that was fatally struck by a car, has been hailed for her loyalty.

A concerned motorist, who saw the dogs on a  street in Los Angeles, California, one morning last week, put down traffic cones to alert other drivers and shot a video of the dogs.

The footage released on Saturday showed the female Labrador lying next to a motionless, yellow Labrador as vehicles pass by dangerously close to them.

This video was really moving to me.

In our culture, loyalty is dead is so many way.

One of my favorite quotes is from Tolkein when he wrote,

Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens.

To so many you’re only as good as your last message, blog post, sale, decision, or performance. But every once in a while God blesses you with a friend whose just as loyal to you on the way down as they were on the way up.

Cherish them. A loyal friend is a true gift.

Guilt Me. It Works, Kind Of…

April 11, 2012 in Relationships with 18 Comments

I’m a sucker for guilt.

Guilt me and I’ll probably buy from you.
Guilt me and I’ll probably show up to meet with you.
Guilt me and I’ll send out that RT.

But let’s be honest. That’s all you’re getting because your guilt did nothing to inspire me, build into me or show me that you value me for anything other than meeting your needs.

Guilt is shallow and short lived.

Your Favorite Decade

January 13, 2012 in Family, My Family, Random Fun, Relationships with 29 Comments

I’m a big fan of the roaring 20′s. I like their fashion (love pin stripes and hats), their music & dancing and the fact that you could buy a Ford for $290. Those were the days. :) So you could imagine how excited we were when one of our friends announced they were having a 20′s birthday party.

One of my favorite things at the party was this old fashioned photo booth. As you can tell from the pictures apparently my wife thinks I look hot in pin stripes. I couldn’t keep her off of me. She was totally trying to make out with me in the photo booth but I want you to know I was strong and resisted the temptation. Sometimes I wish she would just want to talk to me or hold me, but Nooooooooo!!

So if you could pick a decade to live in which one would it be?

Making Strides

January 10, 2012 in Cross Point Church, Family, Parenting, Relationships with 18 Comments

I don’t know if you’ve seen this latest add from Target, but I LOVE it. It features the adorable little kid named Ryan who has Down syndrome.

Time Magazine reports…

Target cast Ryan in its latest children’s clothing ad, and Nordstrom featured him in a campaign several months ago. Notably, Target did not publicize his inclusion; there were no self-congratulatory press releases or pats on the back, signaling that Ryan’s presence in the catalog was nothing out of the ordinary.

The move was praised on the blog Noah’s Dad, which is penned by a father of a special-needs child. He deemed the ad an inspiration to counter false stereotypes and look at people with fresh eyes, and lauded Target for not making a big deal out of Ryan’s casting.

Down syndrome stems from a genetic abnormality in which an extra copy of the 21st chromosome is produced. The condition affects more than 400,000 people in the U.S. and can be marked by cognitive delays, intellectual disabilities and increased risk of other medical conditions. Many of those afflicted with Down complete school and hold jobs, often with the help and support of family and friends.

Some of my favorite people to interact with in our lobby on Sunday mornings are children and adults with Down Syndrome. So glad they’re a part of our Cross Point family. And equally glad that pop culture is seemingly “recognizing” and “including” them in such advertisements.

Unfaithful

August 12, 2011 in Friends, Relationships, Spiritual Growth with 99 Comments

“When Chris Beall, my new star worship leader, confessed to me that he’d been unfaithful to his wife Cindy—I could have vomited on the spot.

Overwhelming emotions flooded my heart. Shock. Disappointment. Anger. Sadness.

Questions pelted my mind like hail smashing against a sidewalk during a storm? How did this happen? Why didn’t I see it? What am I going to tell our church? What will Cindy do? Will their marriage survive this blow?

I’ll never forget seeing the deep and seemingly unrecoverable hurt in Cindy’s eyes when she discovered the devastating truth…” (Craig Groeschel)

This powerful opening from the foreword of my friend Cindy Beall’s book Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken introduces the reader to Cindy’s incredible story.  Having survived the pain, devastation and heartbreak of betrayal in her own marriage, she’s now on mission to share the unbelievable miracle God has worked in her and her husband’s life. And it is nothing short of a beautiful miracle.

Beyond the shock.  Beyond the confusion.  Beyond the humiliation.  Beyond the darkest nights and the rivers of tears.

There is hope.  Restoration is possible.  God is with you and He wants to take your hand and see you through the brokenness to the other side of the pain.

“If you are feeling alone, know that I am here to journey with you, and so is God. He already desires to make you whole, even as the pieces of your known existence seem to be scattered to every corner of the universe. If the walls have tumbled and you cannot recognize truth from lies in the remains, know that God’s grace and power to transform your life is right there in the midst of the debris.”  -Cindy Beall

We’re going to give away 5 Copies of Cindy’s book today by random selection.  You don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing.  Everyone will be entered into the drawing unless you specifically say that you don’t need the book, you’re just joining the conversation.

How To Destroy A Relationship

August 11, 2011 in Relationships, Spiritual Growth with 29 Comments

How do you destroy a relationship?

Step One: Make Assumptions.

Just yesterday I received an email from an old friend who was upset with me. I’m not really at liberty to talk details, but it turned out to all be one BIG misunderstanding. In fact, he had made a series of assumptions which turned out to be completely false. At the end of the day I was just relieved we were able to work through the conflict, but it got me thinking.

Assumptions are the silent deadly bombs that do nothing but destroy healthy relationships. An assumption is one person’s IDEA of what someone else is thinking, feeling or doing.

Parents often assume they know exactly what their children feel, think or want. Bosses may assume employees know exactly what they want when they ask for something. Church attenders assume they know exactly what the pastor’s motives are. All of this is mind-reading or assuming and it is dangerous.

While you may be right from time to time, more often your assumptions lead to unnecessary conflict, worry, and broken relationships.

So today I just want to encourage you to stop and think. Instead of making assumptions how about asking questions.

Some of you will. Some of you won’t.

You know why?

Because some of you are more comfortable with your assumptions. You actually like the false reality you’ve created around you. It serves your agenda quite nicely.

But never forget what Lemony Snicket said one time…

“Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make — bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake — if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you’d made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.”

Major Turn Off

June 18, 2011 in Family, Parenting, Relationships with 9 Comments

I’m really excited to help spread the word about a super important issue in our culture and a small way you can take part in combating the problem. Particularly fathers. While there are many benefits to the technology that’s available at our fingertips 24/7, there is also no doubt whatsoever it’s tearing marriages, families and relationships apart when abused and that’s what we’ve come to in a big way today. Author Phil Cooke has called for a day where we DISCONNECT TO RECONNECT and I’m all for it. Here’s what Phil shares:

The research has been conducted and the verdict is in (though we hardly needed it to tell us) – we’re hopelessly addicted to our digital devices.  So much so, in fact, that some psychologists are pushing to have “Internet Addiction” broadly classified as a clinical disorder.   But isn’t it really affirmation that we can’t get enough of?  We want people to acknowledge us, interact with us, consider our opinions, laugh at our jokes, and take part in our conversations.  And these are all legitimate, natural wants and needs, mind you.  Although we may seek the approval and affirmation of acquaintances, colleagues and classmates less if we received it from our families more.

Mobile devices, computers and social media are wonderful things, indeed.  They’ve transformed our lives and our world in countless positive ways.  But make no mistake, while we’re more connected than ever (and maybe because we’re more “connected” than ever), we’re more disconnected than ever from our families.

We’ve all experienced power outages. You might remember Nashville’s crazy storms over the past couple months and how several areas were without power on more than one occasion.  Some of us in the office this week were talking about how during those hours when cell service was down and electricity was out, we actually gathered together in backyards as families and neighbors and just… (gasp) talked! It might be a little awkward to begin with but stories start, conversations move, laughs lift spirits and relationships deepen simply by being with each other. No electronic distractions.

It’s unfortunate that we have to force ourselves to disconnect in order to reconnect with our families but we do; it’s the world we live in and so we have to choose to be intentional about community and family time. Now here’s my challenge to you: Dad’s, set the pace. Show your families that they mean more.

This Sunday, disconnect from all your electronic devices and plan a day dedicated to your family and loved ones. If you choose to get crazier or more creative with this, definitely let us know. But it starts with one day. A little over a year ago I decided to start making each Saturday (Sunday’s a work day for me so it doesn’t work)  a computer/email/cell phone/twitter/facebook free zone and I’ve never regretted in one day. Those close to me know how to get a hold of me if there’s an emergency. I can’t tell you how much I long for my technology fast each weekend.

Here are some tips from Phil:

1.  Before going to bed the night before Father’s Day, check your e-mail one final time, turn off your mobile device and put it in another room. You may get the shakes, but you’ll get over it.

2.  Plan the day well.  Alcoholics are very susceptible during periods of boredom and it’s no different with an internet junkie.  Plan a day of special activities with your family, so you’ll be less inclined/tempted to check email or go online.  And, if the family takes you out, leave the mobile device at home!   (You may be shocked, but yes – there was a time in ancient days when we actually left the house without a phone).

Remember – your kids watch your behavior more than they listen to your words.  And when they see you unable to disconnect from email, text messages and Twitter?  You’re telling them that what’s on your phone is more important to you than they are.

So, think about how much time you spend online versus how much time you spend face-to-face with the people you love you the most.  And, at the very least, for 24 hours on Father’s Day, think about which connection is the most important to you:

The one to the world?

Or the one to your family?

 

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