I got a phone call on Wednesday that blew me away. A guy called me to apologize for something he had publicly written about me over two years ago. As he apologized I played it off as if I had totally forgotten about what he had said. But in my moments of doubt and insecurity the words he wrote about me would come flooding into my mind. I could see them as clearly as if I was holding them on a piece of paper in front of me, because in many ways that had been etched into my mind. The conversation I had with him was incredibly healing, but it got me thinking.
Criticism happens, right?
I don’t care if you lead a public ministry, bag groceries, stay at home with your kids, or govern a state. You’re going to be criticized for the way you do it.
We don’t like to think about it much until we overhear it or read it, but guess what?
It’s happening right now in THIS moment. Some people don’t like you. They don’t like how you…
dress
sing
lead
preach
vote
think
write
spend
And there’s not a thing you can do about it. Nothing.
So in the words of my friend and favorite theologian Taylor Swift “Don’t you worry your pretty little mind. People throw rocks at things that shine.”
So, today, do your thing. Shine bright. And remember there’s a bunch of us who really believe in you!!
THANKS!!!!
YES! Great post! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
I love this reminder and am so grateful for it. Since founding and leading a charitable organization, my friendship circles have shifted and been re-shaped. Some of the criticisms have really hurt but the Spirit reminds me sweetly over and over that I have an audience of ONE who matters most. And I am committed to remembering this truth in reverse as well…. I’m not here to criticize others.
Great message for me/us this morning Pete! I confess that I harbor critical words spoken or written about me and fight to push them away as untrue, or not of importance. I realize critical words I say or write damage others too. Especially those released in my role as Dad or Husband. I hold to scripture that tells me the truth about who I am in Christ. I take those thoughts captive and release the others. But it can be hard. I am human.
I also seek forgiveness, just like the guy who wounded you, to those I know I have hurt with my words. It is never too late to enter into the ministry of reconcilation. It sets you and others so free! Blessings on your freedom to live and love more today because of the release you have in forgiving and forgiveness given to you.
Great post brother! As we know and dwell on our new identity ‘In Christ’, we will surely know that we indeed do ‘shine’. I have found that the deeper I am aware of who I already am ‘in Christ’, the less criticism stings. Blessings:)
Great post! Thanks for the reminder! BTW, love reading your blog! Makes me think, laugh, cry and times and most of all makes me love God more! Be blessed today Pastor Pete!
Thanks for this, Pete. I’m with Melissa. Needed to hear this and view it from *both* sides of the coin today.
Hope you’re doing well!
Glad you got the call. Maybe I should post my number here and see who calls me.
I think you are my favorite person ever. I read this post and cried! Ok so I’m emo at times but it struck a cord with me. Thanks for being real and letting your life shine when you write. See you at velocity in a few weeks. I would love to come visit your church and staff one day. Im trying to visit with those that are in the planting world and need your wisdom. If this is possible let me know. Thanks and now you bless my life often!
Love the post, I have a pic I plan on posting on Facebook at some point that says
‘Before you ask someone why they don’t like you, ask yourself “Why do I care?” ‘
I like that, Julie! When someone’s words wound me deeply, it often means that I have begun to rely more on their confirmation than I should have.
I’ve got a teenager right now who doesn’t likes “none of the above” about me!
This too shall pass, right?
Oops.. make that” who LIKES none of the above.”
make that LIKES none of the above!
Sounds like a normal adolescent, and yes, as discouraging as it is, it will pass.
Pete, thanks for sharing this. I sometimes struggle to keep shining when an accusing finger is pointed at me as you described. Genuine, loving correction can be very helpful. But mean spirited assessments and accusations never are. I struggle to remember that Jesus said of our enemy that he is the accuser of believers and a liar and father of lies. I find he sometimes enters with the junk when ministry is the strongest. When I listen to the lies my spirit gets beaten down so I don’t shine so brightly. I wish I could grow enough that it didn’t happen any more! When I listen to the truth of who I am in Christ I can’t keep His light from shining.
I like Taylor’s theology too!! Thanks for sharing. The enemy threw rocks at the shiniest ONE to ever grace this earth. Guess we can count it all joy when rocks are thrown our way because He lives in us. If we weren’t making a difference we wouldn’t feel the sting of rocks. Shine on!!
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this today. Your words touched my heart this morning. I am going to choose to shine today, and live up to my own expectations rather than everyone elses.
Oh, and by the way, THANK YOU
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this today. Your words touched my heart this morning. I am going to choose to shine today, and live up to my own expectations rather than everyone elses.
Oh, and by the way, THANK YOU
So funny how the Lord works. I am computer illiterate and so I have no idea how I ended up here at your sight. No idea. But, I needed to read exactly what you wrote. It was meant for me today. Since I have not had time alone with the Lord today and I have a doctor appointment in a few minutes, then the Lord knew I was not going to be “in His Word” like I needed to be this morning. I was checking a message on the computer instead (priorities out of order). And yet he still sent this message to me. I love it.
I struggle with public opinion all the time. I live for others’ opinions of me, when I should live for God’s opinion. Thanks for the reminder that to the Lord I am His beautiful, precious, awesome little girl who He loves. The rest is relative.
Funny, I quoted that exact Taylor line yesterday.
Thanks Pete! I needed that word today.
Thanks for these words. So healing, and needed. Happy for you!
Wow. I just posted that exact same lyric to facebook 2 days ago. Totally agree wiht you wholeheartedly!!!
I needed this today! Thanks
Thanks, Pete! I often remember that the things that I worry about the most or the things that I’m the most self conscious about are things that at some point I have been critiscized about. And sometimes it has been years and years ago and I can remember the moment so well.
It makes me happy that you quoted Taylor Swift!
Thanks for this post, Pete. A very nice reminder!
The last few months I have been sort of finding my voice and becoming more vocal about my views and perspectives, particularly in regard to God’s heart toward His children who have experienced divorce.
At first it was a bit scary, because I knew a lot of people would disagree with my position, including many for whom I have much respect.
I finally realized, that’s okay, because I don’t agree with them, either…which is sort of the whole point of the necessity to express what God has shown me…
Thanks!
Love this! And for the record I think you are doing a great job! Keep it up! Can’t wait to read the new book!
Well said.
I am now a critic of this blog, only because of the song lyric you quoted
A friend just recently shared this with me: They stop talking to you, then start talking about you. What they say defines them, not you.
I know. Please tell them to stop talking about me!!!! LOL
The bad (no, the evil) part of it is that we are too often the ones criticizing others, talking behind their backs. Shame, shame.
I had the opportunity to apologize and say thanks to someone years after the fact, and it was such a meaningful moment for me, perhaps for both of us.
It’s a silly story about middle school crushes and brush-offs, but I happened to run into the guy years later, when we were both in college, and I reminded him who I was and said “back in 7th grade, you did something really nice for me and I didn’t appreciate it at the time. Thank you so much.” He didn’t seem to remember that I’d wronged him in any way, but nonetheless said I made his day.
It’s been probably about ten years since that moment (and almost twenty since 7th grade) but I still reflect fondly on that whole story (minus the crying in the middle school bathroom part!)
There couldn’t have been a more suitable start to my day then reading this. It’s beyond exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Thanks for sharing Pastor Pete