WithoutWax.tv by Pete Wilson | Archive | September, 2011
Archive - September, 2011

The PK Plan

September 21, 2011 in Family, Leadership with 32 Comments

If you know me you know one of the passions of my life is trying to raise kids who love God, people, and the church. So every time I run into an adult PK I tend to pepper them with questions in attempt to learn everything I possibly can.

There are two types of adult pastors’ kids I meet in life.

One rarely gets connected, is highly critical of the church, and points out all the different things wrong with it.

The other is highly encouraging, supportive, plugged in, and a huge fan of the church.

As I’ve talked with them and gotten to know them better I’ve been able to see a clear trend. In most cases they inherit their attitude toward the church from their parents.

Now I know this isn’t a full proof plan but if you want your kids to grow up, plug in, and love the church then remember…

-Kids are extremely impressionable. You’re going to have bad days and bad experiences with broken people in the church but be very careful what you say around your kids. You’ll probably forgive and forget, but they most likely won’t.

-Talk positive about the other churches in your community. If they hear you talk about other churches as competition then they’ll always view other churches as competition. And trust me, when they move away you’re going to want them to be able to transition from your church to the Church.

-Be more committed to the difference the church is making and not the style of the church. Ultimately, I don’t want my kids going to war for a particular style of church as much as I want them to be radically addicted to being a part of a Biblical church that’s evangelizing, discipling, and changing the world.

You got any good tips?

Watch Out Chris Johnson and Chuck Norris

September 20, 2011 in Family with 8 Comments

So, it’s football season!! Jett’s back on the field and loving every minute of it. I still don’t have the guts to tell him there aren’t too many 140 pound, 5’8″ dudes in the NFL.

And Gage has found his new favorite sport, Tae Kwon Do. Ironically, he never has, nor ever will, hurt a fly. But if you back him into a corner you better watch out. He’s a green belt now.

What have your kids been up to?


 

Fund Your Church Now

September 19, 2011 in Church Leadership with 2 Comments

I’m excited to let you guys know about this free online event I’m honored to be a part of called Fund Your Church Now. Some fantastic church leaders have donated their time to help all of us better understand what it takes to help fund the vision God has given us for our ministries.

Register for the free event HERE.

 



 

 

The Incessant Whisper

September 19, 2011 in Spiritual Growth with 22 Comments

I think most of us begin our Christian journey with this simple truth.

I’m broken. I need Jesus. The end.

However as we launch out on this new journey it doesn’t take long before we begin to hear this growing and incessant whisper that says, “Try harder, do more.”

Sing more.
Memorize more.
Journal more.
Preach more.
Pray more.
Evangelize more.
Serve more.

This approach can look quite spiritual to those around us; however, it’s often rooted in a inner conviction that our worth as a Christian is dependent upon our ability to outperform those around us. Behind this spiritual facade is a fragile and insecure heart desperately attempting to get God to love us more.

The cross isn’t something we start with and then move on from. The cross isn’t just the starting line of our faith, it’s the centerpiece. Grace isn’t something we need just for salvation, it’s like air for the believer.

So today when you hear that whisper in your head that says “Try harder, do more,” go back to this.

I’m broken. I need Jesus. The end.

 

Teaching An Old Dog New Tricks

September 16, 2011 in Random Fun with 18 Comments

You’ve probably seen this latest viral hit, but it’s too good not to share.

As I watched this I couldn’t help but think how much I hope Brandi and I are like this couple one day. This is Bruce (86) and Esther (79) Huffman of Oregon on their brand new web cam.

I love the way he’s flirting with her.

I love his patience with her.

I love his sense of humor.

Like it or not, we’re all getting older. We need more great examples like this of how to grow old gracefully.

I Love You, But No, I’m Not Giving You Money

September 15, 2011 in Leadership with 17 Comments

These days, like many of you, I get a lot of requests from people (many of them friends). Sometimes they just want a quick re-tweet (my wife literally just asked me to re-tweet THIS and since I’m sleeping with her and not you she wins), sometimes it’s a blog post, or a book endorsement, or maybe they just straight up need some cash to fund their next dream.

While I am often glad to help out there are times, that for one reason or another, it’s just not a good fit. Like each of you I’ve got a limited amount of resources and while I would love to support every one and say “yes” every time, I simply can’t.

Yesterday I read an absolutely genius blog post from Jeff Shinabarger, the founder of Plywood People. He had some great wisdom for those of you seeking support from friends and those of you reviewing requests from friends.

To the cause leader sharing your vision:
In any dream that you pursue, know right away that everyone will not be in support of your grand ideas. Even your closest friends may not understand what you are doing or why you are doing it. It is important to share your dream with your closest friends, because they genuinely want to know where you are headed in life. That doesn’t mean that they will support it. Remember: They have no responsibility for your dream to be successful. Many friends will want to support you in a plethora of ways. They may give you advice, connect you to others, volunteer time, pray for your initiative, and some could even financially support your work. But, they don’t have to do any of these things.

Let me be clear…every person that you ever share your vision with will not support everything that you do. Know ahead of time this reality and be ok with it. Your friendships should not depend on financial support. Friendship is a gift in itself and be thankful for that. If you try to guilt your friends into supporting your work, that is inauthentic in every way and will not truly help your vision overall. We all know that money will not define what a good friend is, so don’t push that on others. Many friends will only support you just because you are a friend, but please do not count on that in every relationship. Set your expectations straight on the front end.

To The Friend listening to your vision:
Every visionary is extremely excited about launching their next venture and expecting you to be 100% behind them. You know already that visionary’s have too many ideas and not enough time. Please be kind. We know that you are inundated with requests all the time for support. Encourage us anyway. Listen to what the passion is within the dreamer. Give confidence. Be real in your thoughts and please don’t discourage even if you are not passionate about their cause. You do not have any responsibility to fund every friends ventures. But you do have a responsibility as a friend to care for the deepest needs of the individual. I love the quote I heard from a friend named Bob Goff, he said ‘true friends are not going to let you go hungry because you are following your dreams. If it gets to that, we will care for your essential needs.’ More than eating, realistically as a dreamer, we have great highs and great lows. We need friends at both moments to speak into our lives. Be there for us regardless of the situation. If you want to support financially, it helps, but it should never be expected.

You can read Jeff’s entire post HERE.

So what are your thoughts? Isn’t that some great wisdom?

Leaders Lead

September 14, 2011 in Leadership with 20 Comments

I was doing an interview yesterday with leadership consultant Margaret Reynolds. She was asking me various questions about leadership and church and ended the interview by asking if I had anything else I wanted to say to leaders.

I love open ended questions like that but was a bit caught off guard. My first response was “Yes, I would like to tell leaders to lead.”

I know that sounds obvious but sometimes we need that little push.

I read a fascinating article yesterday in Time Magazine entitled “How To Get Out Alive.”  The article discusses(based on events from 9/11) how our instincts in crisis can be our undoing because our brains often somewhat shut down and choose intense disbelief in these stressful situations.

Large groups of people facing death act in surprising ways. Most of us become incredibly docile.   We panic only under certain rare conditions. Usually, we form groups and move slowly, as if sleepwalking in a nightmare.

That neurological process might explain, in part, the urge to stay put in crises. “Most people go their entire lives without a disaster,” says Michael Lindell, a professor at the Hazard Reduction & Recovery Center at Texas A&M University. “So, the most reasonable reaction when something bad happens is to say, This can’t possibly be happening to me.” Lindell sees the same tendency, which disaster researchers call normalcy bias, when entire populations are asked to evacuate.

When people are told to leave in anticipation of a hurricane or flood, most of them check with four or more sources–family, newscasters and officials, among others–before deciding what to do, according to a 2001 study by sociologist Thomas Drabek. That process of checking in, known to experts as milling, is common in disasters.

I’ve seen this happen to good leaders over the years. There’s crisis level things happening in their church or organization in which they’re well equipped to do something about, but they don’t. Like a deer caught in the headlights they just freeze.

I get it. I’ve been there many times. When there’s a crisis  that you know is going to be tough to navigate you want to pretend it doesn’t exist. As the Time article states it’s almost like your “normalcy bias” kicks in and you start sleep walking through the tragedy.

I’ve pretended I didn’t really need to fire certain people.

I’ve pretended I didn’t need to have certain difficult conversations with a church member.

I’ve pretended I didn’t need to address a financial downturn.

It’s predictable, and maybe even somewhat natural, to want to run, hide and or ignore the hard decisions, but leaders you’ve got to lead.

Maybe you didn’t ask for it. Maybe you don’t want it. But if you’re the leader you’ve got to lead.

Do YOU ever freeze up?

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