One of the things I’ve encountered while traveling and speaking throughout Mexico this week has been a deeply ingrained religion in the minds of many of the people. Now this is nothing new. The US has the exact same thing, we just hide it under cooler language.
The religious pattern I’ve picked up in many conversations with my new Mexican friends is this idea that somehow God withholds His love and you must submit to the “system” to earn that love.
By the thousands and thousands they buy into this idea because there are two things that are true, not only for them but for you:
1) We crave love.
2) We’re quite sure that all love has stipulations and conditions.
Ultimately this is why religion can so magnificently manipulate people, right? However, listen to how Romans 3 contradicts this idea.
Romans 3: 22-26
22 We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.23 For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins. 25 For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that God was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past, 26 for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they believe in Jesus.
This is huge because my new friends in Mexico have the same dilemma I do. As long as my heart is beating, I CRAVE love.
It’s true. We’ll do almost anything to belong to someone or to belong to something including, but certainly not limited to, committing to a tired old list of legalistic rules and laws.
I know you guys know this, but just pause to think about the implications of Romans 3.
What if today I walked in the truth that God is not in fact waiting for us to earn his love, but that he is passionately pursing us with His Love.
So how about you?
Do you crave love?
Do you think there can be such a thing as unconditional love? And if so, why do we always revert back to trying to earn God’s love?
I use to (heck I still do at times) tie in this idea that if I do the right things, be the right person, and ultimately say the right things God will reward me. Thinking that things will turn out good for me because I was a good person was something that I would never say out loud, but believed it in my head.
Figuring out that God is not a system that can be bought with good behavior has been one of the hardest things in the world. It would make sense that it worked like that in a rational world, but then it would not be grace. And often times I have tried to put God in a formula, do this and this and get what a blessing. But more and more I realize, the things that I cannot control are the very things that are the blessing. And the life I have today is all because of God’s blessing on my life. There is no formula for how I got to where I am at now, it is impossible to make sense of.
I am glad God is love
Me too Kyle.
I love this Pete. I know you’re exhausted over there but maybe it’s working for you cause this is some GOOD stuff! It’s so awesome to think of all the hearts you’re moving in the direction of God’s unconditional love and constant pursuit of just us, not how many religious hoops we can jump through. We miss you over here and are praying for a great day in Monterrey!! You’re the best!
Thanks for all of our help Evie. As you know it’s been a crazy 7 days. However, God’s love is in clearer focus than ever before for me.
I have all the knowledge of God’s Love, but have a hard time feeling it. My world got rocked so hard that I find myself trying to do everything spiritually perfect so maybe God won’t let that happen. So yeah, I constantly go back to trying to earn it, but still haven’t felt it. Such a spiritual failure at times.
I didn’t totally understand God’s love & grace for me until I turned 52. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 9, but although I believed God loved everyone, I didn’t believe that included me. I got caught in Satan’s lies that I was not worthy of love, from God or from people in general. Two failed marriages helped cement that into my mind. The more I blamed myself for being alone, the more unworthy I felt. It wasn’t until I read Swindoll’s The Grace Awakening that I realized truly God’s love regardless of how I felt. I have to admit I still have times that I let my singleness dictate my worthiness, but most of that is Satan trying to stop the growth I am having in my relationship with God.
When I get down I just remember that God’s love for me isn’t based on how I feel…it’s based on his grace for me!
Absolutely, I crave love. While I’m sure some of that has to do with past circumstances, my heart has naturally desired to be filled with something “whole” since I was young.
Up until coming to know the true love of Christ last summer, I never knew love didn’t come with conditions. Even when my dad died I thought there was no way he could have still loved me fully because I’d caused him pain the last time I saw him. Without the work of God in my heart and several strong Christians in my life, I’d probably still cling to that.
As for why we still revert back to trying to earn it? I think it is because we are forever broken people, even with God’s grace, until the day we are in the Kingdom. As long as we are in this world we are going to run up against things that cause us to stumble and convict us. And like any child that does something you know is wrong in the eyes of your parent, you can’t help but feel like you need to make it right before you can be loved again. I would LOVE to never ever feel those hints of doubts when I mess up.
Absolutely, I believe in unconditional love and especially God’s unconditional love for me and others. It is easy for me to revert back to an earning God’s love mindset because an unconditional love mindset overwhelms my mind. Conditions or expectations are all around us. It is easy to begin to view our relationship with God like everything around us. It is easy to forget that God gave us commands and directions because we are his not in order to be his.
Good stuff Patti.
for the past two years, one of my mantras has been:
don’t perform in order to get God’s love. rather, perform out of God’s love.
it’s made a great difference in my life. there’s absolutely nothing i could do that would cause God to love me less. and so, i act out from the certainty and safety of that realization. i live out of the righteousness i’ve been given. rather than trying to live good enough to get it.
I’m going to steal your mantra.
you’re welcome to it. if there’s anything in it original with me, it’s only the specific wording.
Yeah, I think we all crave love in some form or context. When I was single I longed to get married and share that love and although it is a great thing, it doesn’t compare to the love we receive through God in Christ.
As far as trying to earn God’s love, well, that seems so natural doesn’t it? We are always ‘earning’ things… pay, fame, etc. so it seems completely natural to earn his love.
I’m telling you, grace is such a foreign concept that we can only begin to scratch the surface of it.
Good post Pete!
When I think about the love I feel for my own children (who, like me, are also less than perfect people) I feel like I get a little glimpse of God’s love. I don’t need my kids to do anything to earn my love-it just is. To think that His love for us is even greater than what I in my human-ness can know is overwhelming. I think it’s particularly hard for us Type A’s… we need to be doing and checking off our lists and aiming for perfection. Sigh. I keep messing up and God goes on loving and forgiving and for that I am grateful.
Amen!
The hard part of unconditional love is the times when things go sideways and it seems like God’s not there and/or allowing us to face some really hard times. We begin to wonder where the “love” is and if we’ve done something lose that love. I can only speak for myself but I don’t feel pursued by love when facing really difficult situations and there’s no miraculous save at the end.
I definitely believe there is such a thing as unconditional love. Unfortunately, I have a hard time accepting it at times.
I think it is because it has been ingrained in me that I have to earn other people’s love. This is the way our world operates and it is way to easy for me to get caught up in that. I am thankful that God’s unconditional love is not contingent on my acceptance of it!
Yeah I do crave love…today I am in pain (selfish I know) and am thinking about my regrets and mistakes (there are consequences) my good works of long ago and why aren’t things turning out like I had planned….woe is me. Then I read this blog and Romans 3:22-26 speaks to me~ thanks
Stopping to pray for you right NOW Judy.
Confusing???
I thought we do what we do because we love Him..
I guess I am not comprehending what your asking.
I will always remember Brennan Manning saying that it is more important that we let God love us than that we love God. It was a revolutionary idea at the time for me, I almost thought it was blasphemous. Almost a decade later I can totally agree with him.
If we are to love our enemies, yes, that can only be unconditional love.
It’s so easy to only love people we approve of or agree with – that seems to be one of our more persistent “conditions.” But I remember an excerpt from David Wilkerson’s book “The Cross and the Switchblade.” He’d been recognized by a young gang member on the street, and pulled into an apartment to meet more members of that gang. All sorts of things were going on in that room that Wilkerson certainly didn’t approve of. He certainly didn’t agree with their outlook right then. But he loved them. Unconditionally. And from that seed of unconditional love, the Teen Challenge organization grew.
I think that many times our efforts to earn God’s love trace back man’s desire to be the god of his own life. To admit that I can do nothing to earn or God’s love goes against every ounce of my being that wants to proclaim my own self-worthiness. It is humbling to simply rest in unconditional, undeserved love.
With all my modern misconceptions on God and faith… this is an area I’ve been blessed to understand from a very young age! Growing up in a large family with all sisters (and being the youngest by several years), knowing God would always love me was a frequent source of comfort in a home where I was always striving for my sister’s love and acceptance.
I thank my parents for that.