I’ve Got A Lot In Common With Jay Cutler
Hey Jay. Not sure if you remember me. We met a couple years ago when I did the wedding of one of your best friends. You were the best man and I was the pastor so we had some good hang time. Watching the NFL draft with you will be a memory I’ll never forget. You were kind, genuine, crazy smart and left one heck of an impression.
My heart ached for you last Sunday during your disappointing loss and then the subsequent criticism that followed. I knew you were in real trouble when I saw images on the news of them burning your jersey. 
I’ve had some bad days at work, some nasty things said about me, but they’ve never burned my books or message outlines out in the church parking lot. At least not yet. I know that had to be a tough one.
So what happened man? Can I give you my two cents?
It appeared you gave up when your team needed you the most.
No, I get it. I know the medical staff told you that you didn’t need to go back out on the field. I don’t blame you for that.
But, you gave up when your team needed you the most.
You were disappointed, discouraged, heartbroken and so you walked over, sat on the bench, and sulked for the rest of the game. All you could think about was your little world. You equated not being able to play with not being able to lead.
I know what that’s like.
When I’ve been criticized…
When I’m super tired…
When I feel the momentum drop like a heavy rock…
When I deliver a bad message or make a horrible decision…
I want to run away.
I want to lock myself in my office. I want to mope around and cry “woe is me.” I want to make it all about me and MY pain and MY discouragement and MY crisis.
But I can’t give up on my team. Why? Because leaders lead.
Leaders circle up their teams in crisis and inspire them to greatness. They cheer them on from the sidelines if, for some reason, life has taken them out of the game.
Jay, I bet you feel your world is caving in, and everyone has given up on you right now (for the record Jett did not burn your autograph and it’s still hanging prominently in his room). I don’t want to heap on more and more criticism bro. I want to encourage you. I want to speak a little truth into your life because you’re going to get another chance. Get some rest in the off-season. And next year, regardless of what happens on the field of play, lead.
It’s what leaders do.
PS This letter has nothing to do with Jay Cutler. It’s a letter to me. It’s a letter to you. It’s a letter to all of us who lead and daily face the battle to want to give up. Take Jay’s name out of this and put yours in.
Pete,
Great Post! I have been in Jay cutler’s shoes “my world”. As a Pastor there has been days when I go into my office, or quiet place and be by myself. Not caring what’s going on around me. While the rest of my team is trying to press on. Sometimes we learn by our mistakes, thank God that I am learning, and I pray that Jay will learn from this and move forward to be a great leader for his football team.
I’m with you Kevin. I’ve had more of those days than I would like to admit. Thankful they aren’t shown on national TV.
Great post! Definitely didn’t go in the direction I was thinking…and if you can believe everything you read (haha)… you may be the only person he has even been nice to and I don’t think he cares too much what you think, or anyone else for that matter.
Thoughts on Jeff Fisher?
I’m crushed about Jeff Fisher. You know we needed a change but I just hate to see him go. I think he’s a great coach.
Very nervous about our future right now.
It’s like you were in my house all last evening, and through this morning. My leading had come to an abrupt cliff yesterday and I was ready to jump off without a parachute or consideration of if God would catch me. You have absolutely NO idea how much I needed this letter written to me today. I’m going to ignore the Jay Cutler in it, and totally insert myself.
Thank you for letting God speak through you this morning.
Yep. This post was really intended to remind ME of what leadership is all about.
I love this perspective. I’ve recently realized that I tend to equate one disappointment, one bad decision, one dumb comment, with overall failure in every area of my life. But that’s because I’m only looking at me. It’s usually just one time, one situation, and I’m one step away from making it better or sinking into it – depends on which direction I go.
Back in 2001, when Drew Bledsoe got injured and Tom Brady stepped in, I watched a fantastic example of leadership and teamwork. I’ve never forgotten a picture I saw of the two of them standing close together on the Patriot sidelines, both suited up, with Bledsoe coaching Brady on how to manage that game. It had to have been incredibly hard to watch someone come in and accomplish in such a short time all the the things he had worked so hard for, for so long. But Bledsoe was always Brady’s cheerleader, always a team leader, always the one who pushed everyone else even as he personally fell behind. A life leadership lesson that most definitely transcends football.
Love this Pete,
Like Sara said, I just took his name out and inserted mine. I needed this. We all hits walls, disappointments, bullies, and that lost hope. But you cannot let your team down or lead them down a path of distruction because life is simply hard.
We may not notice it… but people are constantly watching us and looking for us for strength.
Wow. Never expected a post like this from you Pete. I realize you’re trying to use it as an example to make a larger point about not running away, but by characterizing him as a quiting, moping, and “woe is me” based on the few minutes that the cameras were on him is unfair.
From David Haugh’s article in the Chicago Tribune:
“Cutler’s behavioral nuances that the media — present company included — have nagged him about the past couple of years have created a perception that makes it plausible to think a guy so cavalier would quit on his team. But Cutler never quit Sunday — in fact, he lobbied to return — and any questions of his sideline engagement were answered when Caleb Hanie went on WMVP-AM 1000 to speak about Cutler’s involvement.”
His teammates have defended him vehemently. He WAS helping the backups on the sideline. He WAS celebrating when they scored. Because he doesn’t have the “correct” body language or limp enough, people decide they know what’s going on in his head and heart. Weak.
Good point Aaron. We certainly don’t get to see all that went down. Often the shots we see get edited and shown over and over and over.
I think you might have taken the post a little too serious though. It’s really not about Jay. It’s about me. It’s not intended for Jay. It’s intended for me and all of us who lead in some capacity.
I completely agree with Aaron’s point.
Pete, please explain how an open letter to Jay Cutler is not about Jay and intended for yourself? I could understand your argument if this was an evaluation of the situation as a whole being the outside party. It’s not. It is a direct statement to the person in question based on assumptions from the media, television cameras, and biased broadcasters.
I’m a huge fan of your blogs. I read them daily and often pass them on to others. This is one blog that I am in complete disagreement. (which is ok)
Ryan & Aaron– It seems like you are making some pretty bold claims about what Pete’s post was and wasn’t. I understand that you may be trying to bring in another perspective, but to me, as a reader that is completely detached from not only the situation, but also this blog, it seems that your rebuke is pretty harsh. It seems that you want Pete to consider how his view of Jay Cutler may have been colored by the media and circumstance, but you made no admission yourself to the fact that your reading of his post was in and of itself, an interpretation. You read his article through your own set of “lenses”, which makes your point of view subjective, just like Pete’s view of what happened. All I am trying to say… We are all human. We all have a perspective.. but we need to let grace and gentleness soften the harshness when we try to rebuke others.
I agree with Aaron.
Pete, The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) Where is that in your use of bad situation to put yourself in the spotlight? Your post is not a reflection of the Fruits of the Spirit. Sorry bro but in your postmodern hip christian lingo its a “major fail” The last line was meant for me.
Hey Tony. Thanks for sharing your opinion bro. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
Even if this post was about Jay Cutler (which it’s not) there isn’t anything said there that couldn’t and wasn’t said in love or gentleness.
How would my post be any different than your comment which I hope is intended not to hurt me but to challenge and sharpen me? Is your comment conflicting with the fruit of the Spirit? I don’t think so.
If there was a “major fail” in the post it was picking a “current event” which might have overshadowed the leadership principles I was trying to encourage and build up in each one of us: Longsuffering.
Longsuffering, or a patient endurance, which ironically was one of the Fruits of the Spirit you listed above.
I respectfully agree with Aaron and Tony, and whoever else feels this post might not be right on.
You can’t write an open letter to Jay Cutler and say it’s not about Jay Cutler.
You can’t claim to speak hard truth into a brother’s life, and do it non-relationally… and so publicly.
The proper venue for this kind of letter would have been in private, especially since you’ve met him in your role as a pastor. If I were in his shoes, I’d see just one more Christian — a pastor at that — piling on, and trying to up his own stock in the process. Hard to avoid that perception.
I can see your point, but it’s kind of like kicking a guy when he’s down. If you want to use a public figure like Jay as a bad example, that’s fair enough. Just don’t cloak it in ostensibly loving, self-deprecating tones. Be direct, and don’t make it an open letter.
Leaders love, and love covers a multitude of sins.
Leaders wait till the facts come in.
Leaders put the best possible interpretation on another person’s actions.
This reply is not about Pete Wilson.
Hey Ryan. I completely agree that my opinion(which is all this post is) was based off what I viewed in the media. In fact, much earlier today I provided (in the comments below) a very informative link which shows just how manipulative the media might have been in this situation.
I’ll link it again here. Very interesting.
http://m.nwitimes.com/mobile/sports/football/professional/bears/article_c021ed8b-2a2f-5bf8-bd6b-6d2f50d4cdb1.html
However, this doesn’t change the fact that this is still something I struggle with as a leader which was intended to be the point of the post.
I’m disappointed in the condemnation and judgment being shown by some folks in this thread.
The folks who left names but no links to their websites are also not acting in a Christ like manner in any way. Jesus didn’t run and hide like you’ve done.
I can relate to wanting to throw in the towel & have myself one good old fasion pity party, on more occassions than I would care to admit. I’m a Pastor’s Wife & a woman in Ministry, I’m not suppose to have pit parties! I’m suppose to be on my A-game at all times! Yea right……In all honesty yes, I may be in ministry and be a PW, but I am overly sensitive the majority of the time & tend to to take things way too personally. So, that opens the door for pity parties. Just recently I was having one of these moments, and my husband reminded me of where my focus should be. I think when we have these moments, we have turned our focus to the wrong thing. Our focus is to be on God, and his faithfulness. But when we are throwing pit parties and wanting to throw in the towel, we have turned our focus on ourselves. I have heared it said that a great way to turn the focus around is to help others during these times (which we should do regardless). But when we are helping others the focus isn’t on us, and Christ is placed at the center where He should be. True leading comes from being centered in Christ. And when we reach out to others in their time of need, even if we are experiencing one of the biggest catastrophes in our own lives, then we are truly leading as Christ would lead! Thanks for the post!
Phenomenal post Pete. Every leader should read this. LOVE it. Think I’ll put it on my office wall. Thank you.
Great! Absolutely Great!
Great post! Thanks for the encouragement to the quarterback in all of us. Be blessed today! PS…what’s the deal with the Titans?
Oh man. I don’t know Eddie. Sure would love to be a fly on the wall inside of that organization right now.
I’m certainly not in their shoes or privy to the information they have but something just doesn’t seem right.
We’ll see!
Awesome writing. I don’t watch the games but the part about a leader needs to lead not matter how they ‘feel’ is a fantastic word of encouragement and truth, I am new here and I am enjoying your writings. Blessings
Definitely didn’t expect anything like that today, but thanks.
What a great reminder of the fact that leaders lead even (maybe especially) when they’re not in front of those they lead.
Awesome post. It’s easy to read this as an open letter to Cutler, as we’re all full of pointers on how these athletes should act. It’s easy to sit back and critique every aspect of their lives, from whether they were limping enough, to how they held their head on the bench, to how they walked up the stairs at a steakhouse that night. It’s easy to pass judgement, it’s easy to call someone out for running and hiding, or shrinking in the biggest of moments. It’s another thing altogether when you realize you’re a Cutler. You could insert any name there as all leaders of all levels have gone through the same. I am so inspired by leaders (be it athletes, coaches, politicians, pastors or CEO’s) who do not make excuses, who continue to lead through rough waters, who do not run and hide, who stand by their convictions. It’s an inspiration to realize they have the same doubts, fears, and worries as everyone else. What makes them a leader is that they are able to stick to their convictions and rise above their fears and doubts. They appear as though nothing rocks them, but inside they are human and struggle just the same. Being a leader does not mean you don’t struggle with these issues, it just means you don’t let them paralyze you, or hold you hostage. Unless your Vince Young. Then you have a completely different kind of post. JK JK.
Great post Pete.
See I knew you could be the Titans coach
It’s hard for me, a person who like football but never played it and a person with no inside info on the team, to say that he quit or gave up. Did it look bad? Sure. But a person’s motivations are hard to discern just by outside appearances.
Agree with you. At the end of the day he’s the only one that can say that. I just used a very public situation to remind all of us of the importance of not giving into the desire to give up.
I appreciate that. The things that happen in the world, things that are known by most if not all, provide good opportunities for important lessons.
Pete this post is excellent. I’m going to repost it on our fb page so the 8700 fans that we have there can be as inspired as I am. Blessings, Jim
This is a great post!
– Cutler is young and though he didn’t lead this time, he has more opportunities to get it right in the future. I’m thankful that when I’ve screwed up people didn’t give up on me. But their speaking truth into my life helped guide me to where I need to be.
Although, being a Georgia fan, I am not much of a Cutler fan, inner division rivalries…its an SEC thing
P.S. I still screw up and the truth from wiser people still guides me (just in case the past tense verbiage makes it sound as if I have it all together).
as a chicago native and football fan, this thing is getting really heavy rotation. some people taking it really seriously and some not so seriously. I guess Jay has brooded and sulked on the bench all year, even when they were winning, because that’s the personality he revealed on the sidelines. I feel for him because at the end of the day it’s just a game, but it’s a game with a lot of scrutiny and speculation.
I appreciate your thoughts here, as always, but I’m not sure that I know enough about what really happened to Jay to know whether he gave up or not. I BELIEVE he did. I’m just not CERTAIN that he did.
peace
thanks for leading well, even when it sucks.
I needed this Pete. I have been out of work for over a month, and that really gets you down. But, I can’t stop being the leader of my family. My wife still needs me to be the man of God that she married. And with our first baby due anyday now, I can’t give up on my responsibilities just because I don’t have a job. Sometimes I feel like the things that we are involved in validate who we are. Papa is the only one that can validate me, but I have to let him. Thank you for the encouraging words Pete. Papa has equipped me with what I need to lead, or he wouldn’t have entrusted me with such a beautiful wife and what will be an adorable little one. He has faith in me even when I do not.
Love that you call him Papa. That’s awesome.
Jason, what kind of work do you do and what’s your academic background?
Shoot me an email: chrisfreemanca@gmail.com
That is the best response to last Sunday that I have seen… so many people quick to condemn, but I would bet that most of those casting stones would not want to publicly admit their greatest failures in the same media spotlight. Well spoken. Thank God for His grace.
Brilliant! I’ve probably read 15-20 articles on Cutler’s collapse by some of the best sports writers around. None of them touched on the real problem like you did. Even better, this is a learning moment for everyone, even the most seasoned leaders.
Pete,
This might be your best post ever.
Love it.
Great perspective, Pete. In the past when I’ve had the chances to lead I’ve done the same things that Cutler did after his injury. Hurt the team and might be part of why God’s not given me the chance to lead again.
I’ve always admired Cutler (even as a UGA Bulldog)- thought he was sharp and talented. But you’ve hit the nail on the head with this post. Even with all that talent, heart, and cannon of an arm, when push came to shove he didn’t deliver. Even though we (myself, you, us) have all the tangibles going for us, we have to remember its the intangibles that sometimes inspire the people around us to excel.
I get it …….
Very strong Pete – thanks for the great reminders about leadership (even if you used that “h” work again) o brother…
I get it…
Just saw this article. Sheds some light on how Cutler in fact may have not been as disengaged as he looked on TV…
http://m.nwitimes.com/mobile/sports/football/professional/bears/article_c021ed8b-2a2f-5bf8-bd6b-6d2f50d4cdb1.html
Don’t let da Bears fans get to you Pete…that was a great post. It isn’t a one time thing with him….
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6017986
Wow Pete, fantastic post. My heart breaks for Jay as a man who has been rejected more than as a QB who got close and gave up. Who he lets speak into his life now, is crucial. Call the guy you did the wedding for and get Jay’s number.
I guess he’ll either be convicted and this letter will be a blessing and he’ll become a better person, or he’ll chalk all this up as yet another armchair quarterback who doesn’t know the whole story.
I do admit that, at the time, I sent a text to my buddy: “You can take Cutler out of Vanderbilt but I guess you can’t take the Vanderbilt out of Cutler.”
I wasn’t there, so I suppose that I too am guilty of making some assumptions without knowing all the facts.
“Leaders circle up their teams in crisis and inspire them to greatness. They cheer them on from the sidelines if, for some reason, life has taken them out of the game.”
I love this. The hardest part about being a leader (to me anyways) is leading when you don’t feel like it. When things are tough, when I don’t have the energy, when I’m discouraged. But that’s what leadership is all about. Great post Pete!
Pete, Pete, Pete.
Now look at what you’ve gone & done:
Cutler Fans |——brickwall——| You
I agree with Aaron.
Pete, The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) Where is that in your use of bad situation to put yourself in the spotlight? Your post is not a reflection of the Fruits of the Spirit. Sorry bro but in your postmodern hip christian lingo its a “major fail” The last line was meant for me.
Thanks Pete for having the courage to write an open letter to yourself. I really felt like it was a letter to me. I needed to read this. I plan to copy it and stick it in my Notebook to review before team meetings with my team.
Hey Tony. Thanks for sharing your opinion bro. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.
Even if this post was about Jay Cutler (which it’s not) there isn’t anything said there that couldn’t and wasn’t said in love or gentleness.
If there was a “major fail” in the post it was picking a “current event” which might have overshadowed the leadership principles I was trying to encourage and build up in each one of us: Longsuffering.
Longsuffering, or a patient endurance, which ironically was one of the Fruits of the Spirit you listed above.
Pete
Great post. Well done!
Loran
Great letter, Pete!
Sorry I read it so late today – had a very long, but great, day! But I must say, this letter really helped smooth out some of the rougher edges. It is a keeper to come back to for sure!
Thanks for the encouraging word!
-Marni
You bet Marni! Glad it was helpful.
Because of Cutler’s poor play, I will be losing a great deal of money….since me, my dad and my brother are heading to Dallas for the Super Bowl!
Go Pack Go!!!
Couldn’t help but think about how excited you must be. You guys deserve it. I’m pulling for you all the way Nate!!
Great post, Pete … Go Bears.
I did but now I forget about when we watched the draft together.
My all time favorite post.