I’m so excited that today my friend, Dr. Tim Elmore, is guest blogging here. Tim is the founder and president of Growing Leaders and is the author of several books including his most recent, Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future. Today he’s writing about how we can more effectively grow patience in our kids at Christmas. While I really don’t need the following information some of you MAY have kids that lack the virtue of patience. 
Patience is a virtue. At least, that’s what they say. I say it’s a rare gem. Few of us have much of it in our day and culture. And our kids? They’re growing up with a “Google Reflex” expecting everything to come instantly — answers to questions, food, text replies, favorite songs… you name it.
This immediate gratification thing is even worse during the holidays. It’s just hard to wait. For all of us. Christmas, however, is supposed to be a time of waiting and anticipation — just like it was in Bethlehem. (Remember, Christ was born after four hundred years of God’s silence.)
Try this.
Sit down with your children and talk over this idea of “waiting.” Discuss how hard it is for everyone. Even adults. Talk about how people through history had to wait long periods for almost anything valuable. Then, talk about how impatient people are today. (Remember Target shoppers getting trampled on Black Friday at 4:00 am?) Finally, have a conversation about how your family could build a little patience in each member during the holiday season.
For instance, for the remaining days in December, leading up to Christmas, you could offer a dollar-a-day for each of your children who can last the longest without complaining or becoming impatient about how long Christmas is taking. (Remind the young ones — 18 days means $18 dollars!) The ability to delay gratification is a sure sign of maturity in kids.
I have a friend whose twelve-year-old son, Nick, wanted a popular video game. It was sure to sell out on the first weekend it was released. Nick begged him to let him get it — although he didn’t have enough money. My friend did a wise thing. He said, “Son, I will pay for this video game so we can get it today. However, I will hold on to it until you can pay for it with your own money. This way, you know for sure you won’t miss out on it, but you’ll learn to appreciate it by waiting until you can really afford it. It was one of the greatest lessons Nick learned that year. He told me so.
“Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. Behold, the farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient until it gets the early and late rains. You, too, be patient; strengthen your hearts…” (James 5:7-8)
What are some things you’ve done to help grow patience in your children? Do you see this as an important virtue?
Join us tomorrow at Catalyst’s blog as we discuss ways to develop gratitude in your kids (and maybe yourself!) during the holidays.
Tim Elmore
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You can follow Tim Elmore’s personal blog HERE, and learn more about developing the next generation in his latest book: Generation iY: Our Last Chance to Save Their Future.
I love the guy that bought the video game and held onto it! I encouraged my 12 year old to start his own business this summer so that he could have his “own” money to purchase the stuff he really wants. He learned patience immediately! When it came to spending his own money, he would much rather wait and determine if he really needed it.
Chris — Me, too! I love what my friend did with his son to teach him to have patience, and to help him learn we can’t have everything right now. Thanks for sharing what you’ve done with your own son. It’s amazing what our kids will learn when we teach them invaluable lessons like these.
This is great–I love how simple lessons will develop true character in our kids. Thanks for sharing.
Dustin — I hope you can use these ideas with your own family. Thanks for your feedback!
I was sitting with my 5 young children at Pizza Hut last night since my wife was sick and pizza must be eaten when Dad is in charge of supper. We ordered breadsticks as an appetizer. After waiting a little longer than normal, one of my 6-year-olds turned around in his seat and yelled–”Hey-where’s our breadstick?” Teaching patiences often comes right after being embarrassed.
Matt — You just had a prime example of how we need to implement patience in our own kids, especially while they’re still young. Thanks for sharing with me! Don’t you just love when your kids embarrass you? I hope you had a teachable moment with your 6-year-old.
With 5 kids–it happens all the time. Grace and love, grace and love. And yes–it was a good time to teach an important lesson.
Grace and love indeed. Glad you had a good time with your kids last night! I hope and pray your wife is feeling better.
Great tips on teaching patience!
We have definitely tried to teach our children the blessing of waiting. I don’t want my children to grow up with a sense of entitlement. I want them to appreciate the things they have and see them as blessings from God. Of course, we fail miserably at this at times but we are slowly learning.
Kevin — Thanks for your feedback and comment. Too many young people feel like they’re entitled. They’ve even told me so! Thanks for investing in your children and raising them well. And boy are we all learning.
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Great post! Looking forward to the one on gratitude by Tim tomorrow! Thanks for having him share Pete!
Kristyn — Thanks for your encouragement and comment! Please stay tuned for tomorrow’s post with Catalyst. I hope you can implement these ideas in your own life. I know we can all learn from them.
This little song was taught to our family by my brother-in-law and I still find myself singing it to myself today – but kids in all our immediate families learned it and sang it aloud. It goes like this…
Have patience, have patience,
don’t be in such a hurry,
when you don’t have patience,
you only start to worry.
Remember, remember,
that God is patient too,
just think of all the times
when others had to wait
for you.
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Singing that last line was always the most fun because we would drag it out and point at each other…
“just think of all the times
when others had to wait
for yoooooooooooou!”
It was a great way to take someone’s sour, impatient attitude and turn it around with a fun little song. I wish I could tell you what the melody was – but it has kind of a polka feel to it.
Does anyone else know the name of the tune?
Mike — Thanks so much for sharing that song with everyone. It’s quite catchy. I bet this has been a constant reminder for you; something you haven’t forgotten.
Tim, it has been, thanks. And, I don’t know if anyone has mentioned the humorous old prayer, but here it is:
“Dear Lord, please bless me with patience. But could you hurry up?”
Love it! Thanks for sharing, Mike.
That song was from the Music Machine Record. Sung by the sloooooow turtle!! Great reminder about patience!
Thanks, Jenn!
I absolutely love the idea of buying the game and then hanging onto it until he can pay for it himself. I am SO stealing that idea for use with my kids!
Jason — Please do. I hope you find it useful as you teach patience in your own kids.
We have done that very successfully with our kids, too. I hope it is really teaching them patience as well as parental love. It is a big time saver, as we are not running to stores all the time. We often can get the items at a discount or special deal, then, too.
Tim, I just wanted to thank you for interacting with the comments here today. I know you’re super busy these days and i think it goes a long way with our readers.
You’re a class act!
Thanks, Pete. That means a lot. I like to be able to respond to our readers.
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Thanks again for hosting this blog tour on your blog. I truly am grateful.
Our little guy is just 2 1/2 so understanding the complete concept of patience is a little beyond him yet. However learning to be patient is not. One thing we have done that works really well is just to focus on breathing. I tell him ‘take a deep breath’ and we will actually breath in and out together ( a few times if we need to). From there he is able to recenter and we can work on whatever the situation is that needs to be discussed. It was worked amazing in communicating with the little man!
Deagan — Thanks for sharing! I hope these ideas with this parenting blog tour are useful for you as you invest in your son.
Blessings,
Tim