I think sometimes we miss it in the church because we pay so much attention to our words instead of our environments.
Environments are more powerful than words, no matter how carefully those words are crafted.
For instance, if you attend a church, we all know that the most carefully crafted message of the week is the “sermon.” But this law of communication says that over time sermon truth will lose out to environmental truth when the two conflict. Therefore, if your church teaches forgiveness, yet your environment is critical and blaming, then church members learn alienation rather than reconciliation. If your church teaches the importance of community, yet your environment is unfriendly and uncaring then church members learn apathy rather than concern.
So our work in church is to ensure that our church environments align and conform to, rather than conflict with, our well intentioned messages.
Have you encountered words in the church that don’t align with the environments?
Yes I have which is just ONE of the reasons I don’t “belong” to any structured institution.
In the churches where the message doesn’t align with the environment, not only does this affect the way people view the church, but also affects how they view God. I believe this could be dangerous.
I agree with you. I’ve walked away from church institution as well.
I’ve found the nonalignment in every church or Christian institution I’ve been part of (Christian schools, Christian home schooling groups, Christian campus organizations, etc.) However, there is nonalignment in secular institutions too.
I’ve walked away from church partly because of nonalignment in the message and the reality, but I haven’t been as quick to walk away from the secular institutions. If I am completely honest, the reason I stay with any institution is because there’s something in it for me. (Isn’t that true of all of us?)
Secular institutions which are nonaligned still give me something in return for me pretending not to see the hypocrisy–a paycheck, status, a social network, pride in the results from my talents and skills being used. In the church, because I was only a layperson and not in the chosen circle as a deacon or best friend of the pastors and their wives, all I got were rules to follow and people telling me to give more and more and more (time, money, obedience, my ability and God given right to think for myself etc.) So, I walked away.
I can understand though how pastors and paid church staff stay in misaligned systems–Christian institution is their bread and butter. It’s a job and provides great fodder for the next resume. Sometimes its housing and/or free or reduced education for their kids. It’s a built in social network of likeminded people and usually comes with built in babysitters and free consultants. It’s an opportunity to use skills and talents in a large venue. It provides a ready audience for book sales, CD sales and other extracurricular money makers. It would be pretty tough to walk away from these things. And think of the reputation you might get if you leave (backslider, heretic, independent, nonvisionary, etc.)
Actually, I did leave a position with a Christian school because of its hypocrisy, and it cost me dearly.
For a pastor or paid staff member who recognizes the nonalignment, tries to fix it and can’t, there are not very many options. And all of the options have a HUGE cost. So most pastors and church staff stay and keep doing what they’ve always done, hoping that just saying the same things often enough and loud enough will change things. Eventually they realize “The Secret” might be a fraud (unless of course, you are God) and that speaking your intentions into the universe (or the congregation) does not necessarily make them so.
I’m glad I made the choice to walk away. I feel freer and ironically closer to God. As you rightly point out, religious institutions are given the power to change people’s perceptions of God and can be very, very dangerous. I like hearing from God without the static…
Absolutely. Oftentimes, I think a church will attempt to be all things to all people, and that’s just not possible. At our church, we’ve adopted the K.I.S.S., model. Our point is also our process. We don’t have a fancy vision statement, we simply attempt to do three things well: Love, Live, Serve. If an outreach opportunity arises that doesn’t fit that criteria, we don’t pursue it. For us, it has kept us honest and focused on what we feel our role as a church body is. Not every church can be a CrossPoint or a Southeast, or (insert church here). The Church (big C) is the Body of Christ. And just as each of us as individuals represent different yet vital parts, so do churches (little c). Does that make sense? It makes sense in my head.
I like that a lot.
We teach what we know. We reproduce who we are. Great post!
Oh, man. That’s a great quote!
I’ve seen the church words inspire passion, heartbreak and radical mission….. and then the environment ask for it to be toned down. That is difficult both to reconcile and to do.
I’ve seen, experienced, and unfortunately contributed to that problem before. Good truth!
Great words…you’ve got me thinking about how this applies to my ministry.
Absolutely in almost every church I have been in. Most recent experience was the preacher admonishing the peeps to have opens hands and give, and yet the church books were not opened to the congregation. Had to leave!
Now I need to look and see what this looks like in my home!
Hey Pete & Others …. I am still learning as a pastor …. I understand the Pete’s post and everyone. comments… BUT could you guys offer some examples of environments that may conflict with what we are saying. THANK YOU!!!!!
For me, this is one example that speaks volumes: A pastor will preach about the importance of tithing when the church does not give 10% to missions or others in need.
The church I attended last “spoke” volumes on the need to encourage our youth, support our youth, yada yada yada… BUT when it came time to find a youth minister, to have someone in place to help with the youth until a minister could be found the “board” decided to put someone in charge who had already proven in the past that he cannot connect well with the teens, parents went to see the pastor, to voice concern as several of the teens were leaving youth group… the pastor told the parents “this is how we are doing it there is nothing that can change my mind on the matter until we find a Youth pastor.” We went from approximately 40 teens down to 15 in a matter of about 2 months. No one truly seems to care about these kids unless its to harass them and bully them about not attending Sunday School… now tell me, WHY would a teen be interested in attending a Sunday School in a church that seems to care so little about who they are and “where” they are in their lives… and for further info, the man who was sent to run things until the YP can be found, it isn’t because there was no one else to work with the teens…. there were 4 couples who had kids in youth group all had a passion for them, and basically we were told, we weren’t good enough to head up the youth ministry. That hurt. And it was a powerful statement about what this church really wanted… high numbers for sunday school, and not a lot of substance for the minds and souls that were in their care… the last I heard there isn’t really a youth dept. to speak of now, and the parents that were there were asked to step down from their hands on work with the teens. This is a sad but clear example of “all talk; no action”
Saying we welcome anyone, and then not speaking to someone with mental challenges when they come to Sunday School.
Saying we are family and not calling to express condolences, sending a card, offering support in any way or even verbal acknowledgement when a deacon and “pinch hitter” preacher loses his father to cancer.
Saying we believe in the importance of the family unit and then dividing worship services by age, beginning with the special, interactive worship service for 2-5 year olds so parents can listen to the sermons “without distractions.”
Saying we want to help those in need who live in poverty or are homeless and then explaining (privately of course) to the people who serve the food closet that “These 4 or 5 people are ‘users’ and are not to receive anything. If they show up demanding a bag of food, call the police.”
Saying we believe in redemption and restoration and then firing people for perceived (not proven) extra-marital activity.
Saying we want to help single moms and setting up a program of male mentors for boys without fathers at home and then cancelling the program at the last second because no men in the church have time.
Saying we want people involved in ministry and even having a ministry rally day with booths for the 60+ programs and then not calling back a 13 year old who eagerly signed up to help.
Saying we expect 3 hours of time per week from each member–1 hour in a worship service, 1 hour in a small group and 1 hour of ministry–and then expecting/demanding 10-15 hours per week.
Saying you are free to “test drive” a ministry and if it doesn’t work, you are free to leave and then insisting that no one can leave a ministry until they recruit their own replacement.
Saying that we believe in honesty and accountability and then demanding that no staff member discuss salaries with the congregation or they risk being fired.
Do you want to hear more?
Brilliant, in a very incredibly correct way Brother. Exceptional.
… i have to add. No one is going to ‘not’ agree. … so one would have to ultimately fear for the reason of its questioning, by you a minister. meaning, God is speaking this through you, and with this, all things for and through God. We have cultural acceptance in our pews, not church morality in our civilian life. Amen. Course of action? God is Love, Love is shared. Personal testimony, physical activity, shared group tasks, meaning, fulfillment, and obvious solutions for a renewable Christian foundation! Thanks!
I agree!
Our church mission statement is “a safe place to find family, friends, and your future.” We talk all the time about how a safe place is not a perfect place, but a place that is constantly aware of it’s environment, and deals with conflicts in healthy ways.
I love your language use in the last line. A perfect summary: “So our work in church is to ensure that our church environments align and conform to, rather than conflict with, our well intentioned messages.”
Thanks Pete.
I’m feeling this at my church right now and honestly it’s pushing me away. When what is being said in the pulpit isn’t lived out by the members it does nothing but the harm.
Like everyone above, yes, unfortunately I have experienced this. I’m glad you’re attempting to address it. X.
our message doesn’t matter if we invalidate with our actions – if anything we totally discredit ourselves and what we have to say in other areas.
Everyone thinks of the pastor but we all live sermons with our lives every day. How we live is so much more important than what we say. We have many more people watching our lives which is more of a reflection of the church than any sermon preached on Sunday.
Unfortunately, I’ve been in too many churches that didn’t live out the words that came from the sermons. One of the most striking was a church I attended where they talked about being a cheerful giver and not doing it out of a sense of obligation. The same church would have staffers find out the yearly income of members and then send them a “statement” every month of how much they should be giving versus what they gave to the church.
All the time. All the dang time. And I hate it. But I feel stymied and sometimes hopeless about what to do about it. I think we – many times – preach one thing but in actual practice do another. This hurts many.
“So our work in church is to ensure that our church environments align and conform to, rather than conflict with, our well intentioned messages.”
AMEN!!
I am guessing that each one of us is part of the solution.
really great post…I think this is where admonishing and encouragement come in. Preaching is just one – very important part of the equation – but as leaders we need to do the tough work on the other side to hold people accountable to what we teach. Not in a way that’s controlling but in a way that shows we believe God has something better for our people and we love them enough to help them get there.