It’s Contagious
Just last week we were sitting at the table when I asked my 8 year-old to do something for me. I won’t bore you with the details but the way he responded did not make me happy. Brandi (my loving, but far too often truthful wife) quickly chimed in “He sounds just like you.” My first thought was, Me? Really? Me?
As if that wasn’t humbling enough later in the week I had encounter with one of our staff at Cross Point which left me puzzled. It was a staffer that hasn’t been with us long and I can remember the excitement and incredible attitude they had towards ministry early on but the other day I picked up on a few negative attitudes they were displaying. I thought to myself, where did that come from? I immediately sensed God speaking to me (He can by annoying like my wife sometimes). They got it from you Pete. From you.
Again I thought, Me? Really? Me?
Too many times lately I’ve been reminded that it’s contagious. My attitude towards life, challenges, blessings, and criticism is extremely contagious.
I love this quote from Chuck Swindoll that I read years ago…
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
So, to play a similar role as God and my wife I now want to ask you. How are the attitudes of the people around you?
Your kids?
Your friends?
Your employees?
Your husband?
Why do I ask? Because while it’s hard to assess your own attitude all you really have to do is look at the attitudes around you.
It’s contagious. Extremely contagious.
Anyone need an attitude adjustment?
There is nothing like the voices of your own children to help clarify where you need a little attitude adjustment.
.-= joyce´s last blog ..Forgive me but I seem to be lost in the random dozen =-.
Ok…ok…this spoke straight to me. Thanks for the reminder.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Quote for the Day =-.
it’s so true that our wives (like God) have annoying ability to speak truths we don’t always want to hear into our lives.
i wish i had read this about 9 months ago so i didn’t have to learn the same lesson the hard way (even though i still probably would have). before i started working at the church where i work now, i hated going to work & i always had a bad attitude which greatly affected my wife’s attitude & our relationship as a whole.
.-= dan´s last blog ..Israel I feel your pain. =-.
It’s amazing the damage it can do to relationships.
yes it is. it’s equally amazing the way it can help build, or rebuild, a relationship
.-= dan´s last blog ..Israel I feel your pain. =-.
All the time.
.-= Elaina´s last blog ..Jealous =-.
saw a group of girls at the frothy monkey with your book while we were out with our community group.
we were all SO excited.
may God continue to use it.
later
.-= COLSTON´s last blog ..It’s Who We Are =-.
Oh, wow.. if my town had a coffee shop? called the Frothy Monkey… I would so visit it.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..The Blind Man’s Rainbow =-.
Very cool. Let’s pray God uses it in their life!!
Contagious… that is a fun word because most often we link it to a negative connotation. Just like attitude.
Think about it. Most of the time we use either word it is connected to something bad, like “This disease is highly contagious” or “You need an attitude adjustment!”.
Kinda like your post a few days ago about focus, we tend to focus on the negative aspects of things. We are guarded and protective of ourselves and so we are looking for the danger or hardships around us.
It takes a certain level of vulnerability to choose a positive attitude. That vulnerability is what allows others inside the protective walls that we have built to protect our emotions, spirit, and will from being bruised by shattered hopes and expectations.
Think about it. Our critical negativity is a response to something that we have become jaded towards because for whatever reason it did not live up to our expectations. And, so, in order to protect ourselves we hide behind stoic walls that are guarded by negative attitudes.
What happens when we choose not to focus on changing our attitude and instead look at what drives the attitude?
Am I willing to invest myself into whatever that it is that is causing my negative attitude? Will I allow myself to be vulnerable to failures in that endeavor?
I guess what I am saying, Pete, is that I don’t necessarily want to work on my attitude as much as work on the things that impact my attitude. And, maybe, that focus is what creates a contagious, genuine, positive attitude.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..The Blind Man’s Rainbow =-.
Pete, you cut me deep on that one…Thanks!
BTW, loving “Plan B” so far (little over half-way through it).
.-= Kit Palmer´s last blog ..Seacoast Worship Recap (04/17/10) =-.
Dude… just stop… my flesh does not want to hear this!
Seriously – thanks for the post, I needed my but kicked.
Ouch! Needed to hear this…I will choose to have a positive attitude today no matter what! There…is that better, I hope you’re satisfied!
.-= Randy Kinnick´s last blog ..Keeping My Judgmental Heart at Bay =-.
I have that quote posted up in my cubicle. Love it!! It’s very true. We forget sometimes that we have control over our attitude and we let our circumstances dictate it.
The quote by Chuck Swindoll blew me away…
.-= Jaycee´s last blog .."The Last One is the Bad One": True Celebrities VII =-.
Take it from a cynic, they way you think and act effect people and can seriously harm them… I am sure that there are people who I have seriously harmed with my attitude– in particular my wife. It wasn’t until I saw myself reflected in her that I began to realize how nasty my attitude is sometimes.
However, it is possible to fake a positive attitude, but often that can do as much harm as good. While there is some great value that comes from the power of positive thinking, it doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t come from a genuine place. If you don’t know what I mean, go talk to a used car salesman, they will smother you with a great attitude and send you home with a piece of cr@p.
I think the best attitude you can have is that of love. Love doesn’t equal positivity, its not that simple. Love doesn’t hype, it doesn’t over-speak, it doesn’t color things rosy… it cares. Love calls a spade a spade. Love builds up, it doesn’t puff up.
We need to know how our attitude impacts others, but it should move us to a place where we can be healed not compel us to fake-it-’til-we-make-it where we dress things up with words we don’t actually believe.
As a recovering cynic I am acutely aware of the ongoing healing I need in my life. I never again want to be called a “joy-killer,” but I know that God created me with a disposition with an eye toward the critical. I don’t believe this was a mistake. While it was not trained properly it has been a huge asset in both my work and art, but like most superpowers, it can be used for evil and has had disastrous effects on my personal relationships.
If our attitude is powered through faith and hope, filtered through love and 100% genuine. It will always build others up. Now if I could just flip a switch or take a pill to make that happen, I’d be golden.
You have brought out quite succinctly what I failed to convey above. Thanks!
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..The Blind Man’s Rainbow =-.
Well said PJ. I love when you said, “Love doesn’t hype.”
Very well said!
Wow Pete! Way to smack me upside the head before I’ve had my morning coffee.
You’re right, though. As a husband, father and cubicle dweller my attitude has a definite influence on those around me.
Thanks for holding up the mirror and being honest.
.-= ThatGuyKC´s last blog ..Coffee Chugger =-.
I JUST wrote about attitude, and used that quote, in my blog on Monday about my full marathon being cut short. Attitude IS everything. I totally agree.
Great example Christy!
Pete, ummmmmm,you so just went in my mailbox and read my mail!!
I feel like I was just given a much needed smack in the face …
I’m going to sound like my dad here but “trust me, it hurt me just as much.”
So you are saying he “didn’t spare the rod, spoil the child?”
This is at least the fourth time in a month that the quote from Swindoll has crossed my path. Seriously? Me? I need that quote?
Wow, convicting stuff here, Pete. I’ve definitely noticed the power of contagious attitudes for quite some time, and they are no joke. On the flip side, I know that when I feel myself going into a funk or a dim place (because who wants to go into a DARK place??), I tend to be intentional about being around friends who are full of faith, life and joy. I know the effect that has on me and I’m intentional about catching some of what they’ve got.
.-= Grant Jenkins´s last blog ..Rebuild In Progress =-.
A High School friend and I recently reconnected on Facebook (joy) and he was sharing with me the struggles he as a pessimist was having with his latest undertaking. He wanted my opinion as an optimist how I thought he might better go about his goal. I have to say it honestly ties into your post. He is making a conscious effort to be a part of the Complaint Free World (http://www.acomplaintfreeworld.org/) Project. He said he realizes that with 2 small kids at home his attitude shapes their view of the world and their future attitudes. It came from a similar moment as the one you had with your son I think.
I am not sure that it would be any easier for me to make it through a whole day without once complaining, but I think it is something worth trying since this is the third attitude related post or email I have gotten.
Ouch. I read it quickly, and now I need to read slowly. This one hits home.
If you are willing, might I share this with our church family via our church newsletter?
.-= Brian French´s last blog ..Blessing of the Bikes =-.
Ouch!
.-= Dianna Schnabel´s last blog ..When I Am Weak, Then He is Strong =-.
I’ve heard this a thousand times, but right out of the mouth of my own Mother. I am so glad that the older (and wiser, I suppose)I have gotten the more I realize this and try to play that one string to the tune of a happy, positive song! This also reminds me of this quote “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn (makes you look around and see who’s affecting you and who you are affecting, hopefully 1 of the 5 is God!) (is it a or e?) Anyway, HAVE A GREAT DAY!
.-= B Stone´s last blog ..March & April, where have you gone? =-.
That’s a great quote.
Thanks for the reminder… My dad used to shout from the pulpit… “ATTITUDE CHECK”
The appropriate response from parishioners was to be “PRAISE THE LORD!!”
when it was lacking..he would strain his head with his hand against his ear…”HELLO??!!”
I giggle now but for some reason this seemed to make the whole congregation relax… sometimes even caused some laughter… Its true, we sometimes just need our attitudes checked… are we praising the Lord or hording our praise?
tru dat! i have been aware that my attitude towards things effects my whole family. Working on this one…and i know “me? what? me?” yeah it was me…
.-= Darla´s last blog ..Good-bye Religion =-.
arrow straight through the heart. thanks for this reminder.
.-= patricia´s last blog ..4.23.10 cest la vie. =-.
Why do you have to write stuff like this? It’s always other people…it’s never my problem. Geez!
Of course I’m kidding. Those things that drive me nuts about my kids attitudes and personalities are 99.9% of the time those that they got from me. My parents are laughing their heads off!
.-= TD´s last blog ..Those Mornings =-.
Ha! I bet mine are as well.
Oh yeah. I had been unemployed for a year – A YEAR! – and am currently working again. It’s a temporary, short-term assignment. But I am so grateful. Except last night. You see, I not only started working, but I am working a swing shift and overtime. I’m tired. Last night after working 8 days straight, my attitude about the task I was asked to do, stunk. I grumbled. I threatened. And, it affected those around me. I woke up wondering where that ‘gratefulness for a job after a year’ went. Oh this hit home with me. Thanks for shining the light brightly on a thing that changes everything – if we let it.
You bet Vicki. Praying today is an easier day.
Pete, what a fantastic post…I wanted to drop you a note and let you know I just started reading “Plan B.” I’m a top 5 reviewer for Thomas Nelson, I read over 150 books in the Christian genre per year and I can’t wait to write the review on your book…it is probably one of the most powerful books I have read in years. It is also coming at a critical time in my life which is having a dramatic influence of my faith. I am amazed at your authentic warmth through your words…it is obviously the work of the Spirit. I just wanted you to know that the book is impacting my life in a MAJOR way and the review is coming…Monday!
God bless you greatly for following Him!!!!
With joy,
Cherie
http://www.ScriptureNow.com
.-= Cherie Hill´s last blog ..What Kind of Person are YOU? =-.
Ouch!
Huh? This is where I am right now…in the muck of a burned out attitude! Tom’s schedule has been exhausting, and I have been home with the 6…
When I went away for that weekend in Vegas…it took a small army to help out!! (No fam in N’ville, just my CP sistah’s!)
I am in the process of working on MY major attitude adjustment!
Prayer, more prayer, a little crying, a little whining…as I work through this and climb out! I’m getting there! And, I am going away again this weekend! It will help me to breathe and come back refreshed!!
Yes, I see it in my kids…my kids see it as well! We all don’t like it, and I am aware, taking responsibility and working on change!!
But the crazy season is almost over, to some degree…haha!
Thanks for the painful reminder…Should I thank you or Brandi?
Haha!
.-= Lorrie Harden´s last blog ..The ant farm… =-.
You should probably thank her Lorrie!
I will. Brandi, (and Pete): Thank you so much for this blog post! Seriously, it has been amazing…I am aware of my attitude. Somehow I woke up and made different choices!
I’ll be in San Antonio! Woo hoo. So glad for Itunes! I can definitely listen to the sermon!!
Life is a gift, my children and amazing husband are a gift, and my church family is a gift. My friends and family are a gift. I love God!!! I am a BLESSED person!
I’ll miss church again Sunday.
So…thanks!
.-= Lorrie Harden´s last blog ..The Tooth Fairy… =-.
It can become a very vicious cycle…..
if one person hurts another or is negative often enough for another to pick up on it and “absorb” that trait as well…..it can seemingly self-perpetuate a spirit of negativity into infinity. (example….spouse to spouse back to spouse back to spouse then to child, back to parent, back to spouse ~ and that’s just within the family dynamics) At some point, it has to stop! Thank you once again for a very convicting smack right between the eyes!
.-= Cyndy´s last blog ..Drag Races Anyone?! =-.
Wow, my first visit to your site. I soooo needed this today. My 18 year old daughter were just discussing this last night. Yes, her tone her shortness with people was learned from me. Great message and I will look around today at what I have created and begin the process of showing the Spirit that lives in me that is changing how I live and the attitudes I reflect. What does my heart reflect,hmmm
Thank you
.-= Tom Raines´s last blog ..Today’s Affirmation: I ask God for wisdom in faith and trust He will give it to me abundantly. =-.
Glad it was helpful Tom!
NO. I do NOT need an attitude adjustment, the people around me just need to CHILL OUT and get with the game plan.
Nah, nothing wrong with me. Sheesh, now you’re right there with Brandi and God. (Thanks!)
.-= Faye Bryant´s last blog ..Springtime! =-.
right between the eyes….God has been using all sorts of ways to point this out to me…wow….been confessing some painful truths to God this week and dealing with it hasn’t been easy…
Kids? I don’t have any, Do Niece/Nephew count? They are super happy and always have a smile on their face
Friends? Super encouraging and positive and honest
Co-workers? Some are always happy and some are downers, whom I ignore…b/c I don’t want their attitude to rub off on me
Husband? Don’t have one, hopefully one day soon
Overall, I would say I am 90% happy/positive all the time. In school and even today, I am known as the girl who smiles a lot and doesn’t let life get to her
.-= Falguni´s last blog .. =-.
I agree Falguni. I love your attitude.
By the way Pete, I have been reading your book and it’s awesome. It’s really helping me to give up control and repriortize my life! Thanks for speaking into my life! I have been telling all my friends they need to read it, b/c we all struggle with control, etc…
.-= Falguni´s last blog .. =-.
Yes! My kids are 5, 3 and 1 and whenever I’m paying attention, I can see them reflecting back my attitude! So I just keep praying for God to keep my eyes open to it and heart open to adjusting it. Oh, and how in the world can I help train these kids who struggle with the same things as me? God! Oh, help me, God!
.-= Abbie´s last blog ..Growing! =-.
You’re so right Pete. Being positive is something I’ve always strived for. Yet, it seems I constantly battle with being cynical and negative. It’s something we’re all working on…
Jordan,
Link to my latest blog:
http://theriverjordan.net/notice-me
.-= Jordan´s last blog ..Notice Me! =-.
Ouch!
.-= Lindsey Nobles´s last blog ..With a Heavy Heart =-.