Like many of you, surprised doesn’t even being to describe how I felt when I read John Piper’s announcement that he would be stepping down from his position at Bethlehem Church to spend the next 8 months working on his marriage.
I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually listened to an entire message from John Piper (I know some of you now doubt my salvation) but I did read Don’t Waste Your Life
But on the other hand, I see several species of pride in my soul that, while they may not rise to the level of disqualifying me for ministry, grieve me, and have taken a toll on my relationship with Noël and others who are dear to me. How do I apologize to you, not for a specific deed, but for ongoing character flaws, and their effects on everybody? I’ll say it now, and no doubt will say it again, I’m sorry. Since I don’t have just one deed to point to, I simply ask for a spirit of forgiveness; and I give you as much assurance as I can that I am not making peace, but war, with my own sins.
Noël and I are rock solid in our commitment to each other, and there is no whiff of unfaithfulness on either side. But, as I told the elders, “rock solid” is not always an emotionally satisfying metaphor, especially to a woman. A rock is not the best image of a woman’s tender companion. In other words, the precious garden of my home needs tending. I want to say to Noël that she is precious to me in a way that, at this point in our 41-year pilgrimage, can be said best by stepping back for a season from virtually all public commitments.
The difference between this leave and the sabbatical I took four years ago is that I wrote a book on that sabbatical (What Jesus Demands from the World). In 30 years, I have never let go of the passion for public productivity. In this leave, I intend to let go of all of it. No book-writing. No sermon preparation or preaching. No blogging. No Twitter. No articles. No reports. No papers. And no speaking engagements.”
I got a bit of a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I read “In 30 years, I have never let go of the passion for public productivity.” Those words cut me deeply because they echo the words of my own heart. I make no bones about it that I often struggle with an addiction to public productivity.
In so many ways I’ve regretfully in different seasons communicated that building a great church is more important than investing in my family. I’ve had to go back and ask for their forgiveness each time. It’s easy to do because…
We live in a culture (including the church) that values and even demands public productivity while downplaying and often all together ignoring personal introspection.
This addiction to “Public Productivity” is strong. Just think, most of us get quite a few accolades for the hard work we put in at the office. When I work 15 hour day I often feel a great sense of accomplishment. I love the high risk decisions, the writing under pressure, and the raw excitement of ministry. In fact, being loved for public productivity can be exhilarating and addictive. It feeds my ego. This is why so many people end up with an inflated ego and a deflated family.
We’re praying for you here, Dr. Piper. Thank you for making this courageous decision to focus on tending the “precious gardens of your family.”
You not preaching will be the most powerful message you’ve ever preached.
Ever feel an addictive allure to “Public Productivity?”
Such a bold and courageous move.
.-= Lindsey Nobles´s last blog ..I Wonder… =-.
Starting Monday, I am going to be taking my dream job – I’m going to be the Program Director at Camp Tanako, on Lake Catherine in Hot Springs, AR. I’m going to be in charge of training counselors for the summer camps and developing programs for the camp. I know, especially during the summer, I will basically be working 24/7. “Working” my husband and our son into my schedule will be a challenge at times – but this post reminds me that I HAVE to make sure they remember that they’re just as important to me as the camp. Thanks for the words, Pete.
.-= diane´s last blog ..A quick video =-.
I stopped reading at ….”I’ll be honest, I’ve never actually listened to an entire message from John Piper ”
Been blessed by his ministry and words…what an example to us about priorities, even when it includes the “Lord’s work”.
Please read it all, you might see where not listening to an individual in their entirity may rob you of some insight.
You must have missed the HUGE smiley…
I had not heard his announcement prior to reading this post. What an amazing declaration of faith and priorities!
Our families are modeled after our relationship with God. Our priorities should reflect the same: First our personal relationship with God. Second our personal relationship with our spouse. Everything else will fall into place after that.
I think often times as ministers we mistake our public ministry as our personal relationship with God and it supersedes our wives on the priority list. Shame on us.
This is definitely a fox in the vineyard that needs to be chased out regularly.
.-= Dusty Rayburn´s last blog ..It’s time to workout =-.
This resonates loud & clear with me right now and I think it parallels closely with what you referred to a while back as “Noise” in our lives. I have found it interesting that thanks to social networking, I can be so closely linked with so many people and yet feel very lonely, isolate myself and alienate my husband & kids. I’ve recently dropped the excess distractions and am trying to get back to basics and rebuild my marriage and family and hear from God in a fresh way. In a way, it’s getting back to a quieter, simpler way of life like my grandparents had. Funny thing is, I don’t feel like I’ve missed a thing out there online. I’m grateful for people in the public eye like Dr Piper who step out and do what many people probably only dream of having the courage & ability to do. I feel blessed simply to know of his obedience and call to family.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Then comes the morning =-.
Wow. That’s what comes to mind. Very courageous.
.-= Michael´s last blog ..Ricky Martin and Christians Who Lip Sync =-.
I’m not a huge Piper fan, but I really respect his decision to take a step away from the demanding life of public ministry to focus on what’s most important.
As a writer, I relate (at least a little bit) to the pressure to produce, produce, produce. The ironic thing is that, in order to write well, it’s imperative that I take some time to reflect, reflect, reflect. If we’re not taking the time to actually live, it’s hard to speak with integrity and authenticity about how to do it well.
That said – Am I the only one who cant’ exactly afford to reflect for eight months? I mean no disrespect to Piper at all, but not everyone gets paid to take such a long break from work!
(Perhaps being a pastor is unique in that your “off-time” often becomes “on-time,” and you have to completely retreat in order to get a real break – You can probably speak to that, Pete.)
.-= Rachel H. Evans´s last blog ..Embracing the Not-So-Holy Holy Week =-.
He actually addresses that exact point in his letter. He was not expecting compensation for this time away but the church wanted to give it to him.
I can’t imagine the almost 24 hour pressure this man has been under for several decades. There are few times you are truly “off” as a pastor. Demands for his time and attention are not only coming from his church but from other pastors around the world.
But I get it Rachel. Sometimes we’re not in a position like Piper to be able to dictate the terms of a “break” without it costing us greatly.
I still think it’s worth it. Whatever it costs you will be much less than the costs of losing your family.
Sell a house.
Sell a car.
Take a lesser paying job.
Do whatever you have to do but create the space to make first things first.
“Do whatever you have to do but create the space to make first things first” – Well said, Pete. Thanks for your perspective!
.-= Rachel H. Evans´s last blog ..Embracing the Not-So-Holy Holy Week =-.
I recently was introduced to John Piper’s books/preaching. I have heard of him in the past, but feel like I truly just discovered him.
I have been pondering something he said for a couple of months and am realizing his faith is extremely deep and he is teaching me a lot! I will be praying for him and admire his courage in making this decision (announcement).
I will continue to be blessed by his on-line preaching/books already written (and can’t wait until his return January 2011). I will be praying that God will continue to bless him!
.-= Theresa Haskins´s last blog ..Sunday Morning….. =-.
It take courage to admit that you need to take time to work on your marriage and I think it is a good example.
I am not the biggest fan of Piper but he has my utmost respect and I believe God will use these 8 months in a mighty way.
Thanks for the post.
.-= Jim F.´s last blog ..I wanted to be… =-.
Wow Pete! I had read something of this elsewhere today but not to this extent. While I have appreciated his ministry I have never been able to get into his books, except The Passion of Christ. I admire this man immensely even more now since he is willing to step down to put his heart and Noel’s heart in order. What a lesson this ought to be to the younger leaders. As for the addiction: yep been there still there. Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. Thanks for your spirit in this post.
.-= Bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Your Soundtrack =-.
All the time. I think I associate this idea that if I look busy then I must be doing important things. I think this could explain some of my need to always be “on” always be engaging. Recently that has been social media. I guess I see that we are so judged by what we do and how much we are doing that when it all comes crashing down yo have to get away from it all. The sad thing is that is the only time you move on, when everything starts to fall apart.
.-= Kyle Reed´s last blog ..Amazing Does Not Always Deliver =-.
Words well put my son!
.-= Gary Reed´s last blog ..Living your Story? =-.
And Kyle… why is my Gravatar not showing up?
.-= mpt´s last blog ..Thoughts on raising Elias =-.
what email address did you use?
.-= Kyle Reed´s last blog ..Amazing Does Not Always Deliver =-.
Allure is the perfect word to describe what this is. It is a siren call. A magnetic pull. And yet, are we not who God has wired us up to be? Do we not all share – to one degree or another – Piper’s character flaws, whatever they may be?
He has, dare I say it, the luxury to now step away and tend to his garden. And that is good and we do pray that he and Noel will reap bountifully.
But what of us? A hedge around our marriages to guard and protect them – and a ridged time structure that forces the world out and ourselves with our families in – is the best and only advise I’ve ever heard that seems to have merit. That, and of course, tending to the garden of our own souls so we don’t crash and burn.
All that said, get back to work – publicly and privately – seeking the lost at (nearly) any cost.
“A magnetic pull”. I like that even better.
like most everyone else, i have some addictive tendencies toward public accomplishment and seeking pats on the back. but it’s interesting… for the most part i feel that way with people in the states — but not with tanzanians. i’ve found i don’t experience the same pressure here to achieve and be seen. what pressures i do experience in that realm, i believe, are still from the states.
on a side note, piper’s wife sure looks young in that pic! and he called it a 41-year pilgrimage?! she was so like 3 when they wed…
.-= JamesBrett´s last blog ..giving: love means action =-.
Pastor Piper is living his faith. I honestly wonder if I could be that bold.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..Electronic worth =-.
Me too Jason. Me too.
What he is doing is so powerful and significant. To be able to step away from what gives you so much value publicly (as you mentioned) is brave. To sidestep public expectation and his “brand” in order to care for his soul and relationships is courageous. I’m sure he didn’t do it thinking, “oh how courageous I’ll seem!”, but it is courageous nonetheless. Praying for him.
.-= Grant Jenkins´s last blog ..I’m Getting My $7 Worth =-.
praying for all of us on this one.
And I wonder what we can do now to fight against this…
* making sure that pastors take time off in weekly, monthly, quarterly and yearly rhythms. It’s just built in to their job descriptions.
* making sure that our metrics for success mirror the Biblical metrics rather than our made up ones– and that the whole church knows them
* not ever linking our names to God’s work — the more we put our name on stuff the more we are tempted to take the credit.
I’m sure there’s more…but I bet all of this would help and it would serve as a great model to the churches we serve and the rhythms they should have in their lives.
.-= kc´s last blog ..Wise =-.
John Piper is demonstrating courage to step away for his family sake! That alone will bring healing and attention to his family needs. Thanks John and Pete for your honest reflections and admission to the importance of intimate relationships above “productivity” even if we are seeking to build God’s Kingdom.
.-= Gary Reed´s last blog ..Living your Story? =-.
I don’t attend Bethlehem regularly, but I have before, and a lot of my friends do (I’m a college student in Minneapolis). Those people I know who have been lucky enough to meet Piper and speak with him personally say that he is ever bit as humble and as faithful as this action implies. I wish him the best in working on his marriage and on his spirit in general. Doing this, knowing the nasty rumors people will likely spread (even though he discredits them in his letter), takes a lot of guts. Good for him.
Pete,
The church is not your real family Brandi and the boys are. Spend every moment with your family as much as possible, your boys will turn out great. Remember this the church is not your family tehy will turn on you in a heart beat.
To be honest, Piper has often made me shudder. But with this move, he completely gained my respect.
Too often we all look at what we are motived to do. Instead we should look at what motivates us to do those things.
.-= Aaron Reddin´s last blog ..Jesus Loves the Little Rockstars….All the Little Rockstars of the World =-.
PS, what’s up with his gang signs?!?!
.-= Aaron Reddin´s last blog ..Jesus Loves the Little Rockstars….All the Little Rockstars of the World =-.
ha ha.. I was wondering the same thing.. I was going to say that maybe it’s the polite way to raise the bird but that didn’t sound good so I am not going to say that..
Maybe he was at Catalyst West and the ‘W’ is for West? Or maybe it’s a double Peace Symbol? He really likes the West Side Story?
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..Church Hunt Week 5 =-.
I hope you’re right and he isn’t taking 8 months to hide from some street gang that he hacked off!!
.-= Aaron Reddin´s last blog ..Jesus Loves the Little Rockstars….All the Little Rockstars of the World =-.
I also noticed that hers looks like an ‘E’ and his looks like a ‘W’..
does that spell Ew ?
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..Church Hunt Week 5 =-.
In retrospect I probably should have found another photo. I don’t even know who that is in the picture with him.
Inflated ego and deflated family. Great way of putting into words the one thing I never want. I used to feel guilty for leaving the office early to pick up my kids from school or coach their ball team. Yet that’s nothing compared to the guilt I could possibly feel if I neglect to nurture the hearts that matter most to me. Thanks Pete…and Piper
“You not preaching will be the most powerful message you’ve ever preached.”
I needed to hear that today Pete!
.-= Kevin M.´s last blog ..There is so much we will never understand. =-.
Great post, Pete.
I hope Piper and his family find some healing and comfort during this time.
One question: How can the rest of us do this? I mean, Piper is fortunate to be in a situation where this sort of break is possible. Most of us don’t have that option.
Is there a uh ‘plan B’ for those of us who don’t have the luxury of 8 months away from our jobs and responsibilities?
mpt
Good question, MPT.
Maybe it’s not so much about a hiatus as it is about correcting priorities.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..Church Hunt Week 5 =-.
I think there are probably hundreds of small ways I can begin to re-group and withdraw from my addiction to “public productivity.”
One thing I’ve recently started doing is a Sabbath of sorts on Saturday where I completely stay off of electronics. No twitter, blogs, cell phones. It’s really helped me focus on my family. I’m not saying I’m always going to do that but right now in this season I need at least a day a week where I’m not “producing content” for other people. I’m just present.
Read a quote from Piper recently that I think is apropos:
“Missions is not the ultimate goal of the Church. Worship is. Missions exist because worship doesn’t. Worship is ultimate, not missions, because God is ultimate not man. When this age is over, and the countless millions of the redeemed fall on their faces before the throne of God, missions will be no more. It is a temporary necessity. But worship abides forever.”
I wonder how much of our public productivity falls under church mission rather than worship.
We worship when we give God His rightful glory and adoration in all aspects of our lives. How worshipful are we when we deny the God ordained role of provider, mentor, lover, supporter to our family?
As my family looks for a new church home, I am being reminded about what is important. We need to find a body of Christ that is focused on Giving God His Glory on Sunday morning instead of us looking to get something out of the programming that the church has created.
That is VERY hard to find because somewhere along the line leadership in the American church has adopted secular philosophies that cater to human desires:
* Did we pick the right style of music to attract people?
* Are the lights and sound system correct for this theme?
* Do we have enough cookies and coffee?
* Are the seats comfortable enough?
* Will this generate excitement?
My point is not to say that these things are necessarily wrong or bad but that many times they become the FIRST focus. And it’s this focus that creates the Public Productivity Syndrome.
I will close with this. This past week I sat in a class at a church that my family was visiting for the first time and the lesson was on Worship. It was a very quiet class.
It just shouldn’t be so.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..Church Hunt Week 5 =-.
Tony. I gotta say that I’m always impressed with the comments you leave here at Pete’s blog. You always seem to bring a level-headed wisdom to any discussion. I don’t always agree with you, but even then, I love your civility.
So thank you.
mpt
.-= mpt´s last blog ..Thoughts on raising Elias =-.
Thank you, MPT.
I am still learning. My hope is that folks, like yourself, will challenge me where my thoughts may be off in left field… Lord knows I let my thoughts wander enough
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..Church Hunt Week 5 =-.
Man, this is kind of crazy to even think that one of the smartest men in the church, is humbling himself and engaging the idea that he needs to take time off. As a 22 year old newly wed, i need people like Dr. Piper that show his marriage is more important that his work. His wife committed to him, and he committed to her and i think it is amazing that even after how long they have been married, he is taking the step to step away and focus on that commitment.
I hope the best for him.
How do you keep that idea in your mind throughout your life? I feel like work, on both sides can get in the way of a lot of things. Your marriage seems to be the easiest to look over sometimes, and i dont know if i am ok with being able to say that. But how do you keep your wife before work? It just seems really hard.
Start by listening to your wife. They usually pick up on it LONG before we do.
overworking and neglecting family is especially a risk for ministers. some of us because we like being seen. others because we see it as selfish to spend a lot of time doing what we enjoy (being with family). others because we have some sort of savior complex. but nearly all of us because we have a huge tendency to make the second commandment the first. we want to love others (and minister to them) more than we desire to love God himself. and that brings problems in anyone’s life.
i think the way to put family in its proper place is the same way to put anything in it’s proper place: to love God with all of our being. 100% of our love goes to God, and what we in turn, then, give to others is his love with which he’s filled our lives. the love my wife gets is an overflow of the love God gives me. and you can ask her — she prefers having it this way than when i used to try to love God with 51%, her with 30%, other family with… (you see where i’m going).
my love is flawed greatly — inconsistent, imperfect, limited, and even selfish. but God’ll take it. and then he pours on me an endless and perfect love, that i can share with others.
.-= JamesBrett´s last blog ..giving: love means action =-.
Knowing Dr. John for nearly 15 years, I can say with confidence that he wouldn’t call his decision courageous. This is a decision that would ultimately be forced upon him by his wife, which in return, could cost his ministry dearly. It is the ultimate lesson on focus and the importance of keeping your family first. Those who were courageous are his kids and wife. John’s response to their needs is wonderful. And I have no doubt that John will be far stronger for it.
well put Brad. I love the word “courageous” in describing his family. They’ve supported and stood by him, now it’s his turn to do the same.
.-= Pat Rowland´s last blog ..Holy.Week………………… =-.
I was going to comment on this. While I admire John Piper’s stance and decision to do this, and that it is a big deal, the bigger deal is the wife who has kept it all together while her pastor husband serves in a public capacity for YEARS. The woman who’s possibly had to be both mother and father to their kids, all the while maintaining that ‘pastor’s wife’ persona that often excludes her from being quite as vulnerable and supported as her husband. Many people pray for their pastors, but forget about the family. If his wife hadn’t been as consistently strong throughout their marriage, I doubt even this sabbatical would even be a talking point – we’d possibly be rueing the demise of yet another Christian leader’s marriage.
So yes, bravo to all the amazing wives of leaders & those in the public eye, and bravo to all those leaders who choose to listen to their families.
(and I hope that didn’t come across as mean-spirited, I truly do appreciate it when leaders get their priorities right in the face of so much demand on their time and efforts. I didn’t want it to come across as man-bashing either!)
Wow! What an awesome testimony to the “reality” of of our faith.
On year ago, My husband and I were in quite a few volunteer ministry positions at our church–to the point where going to church was stressful. At that point in time, we were also arguing over the same things and just were not on the same page for anything!
At our first marriage counseling session, the counselor told us that sometimes it is actually the “good” things that come between the “best” thing.
We cut back on what we were doing and focused on our marriage and family. We are in a much better place now than a year ago.
Our commitments were definitely on a smaller scale than Piper’s, but I can testify to the beauty of stepping down from public productivity.
That’s amazing. Something to admire even. I was telling people last week that I feel like I’m constantly getting myself in situations where I’m the “go to,” the “do-er,” or part of the “crisis control.” I’m bored with it. It’s amazing power but it’s distructive to SO many other areas in life.
I agree with you Pete, “Not preaching will be the most powerful message you’ve ever preached.” We could all take something from his example.
Hey Pete,
Two confessions:
1. I didn’t read every comment. Perhaps someone else already said this … but …
2. I’m embarrassed to admit this, but frankly, I’m not quite sure I understand exactly what “public productivity” is? can you enlighten me!? (and yeah, I’m serious!)
Thanks!
Fred
Great question Fred. So sorry I missed this until now. Well I can’t answer that question for Piper but for me “Public Productivity” can and usually includes…
Messages
Blog Posts
Public leadership decisions
Board and Elder Meetings
Counseling
Twitter
It’s activities where I”m producing content for the people around me.
It’s kind of a “being” verse “doing”. It often leads to us living our entire lives trying to impress the people around us with our knowledge and work ethic while we ignore what’s going on in our own heart and the hearts of the people God has blessed us with in our inner circle.
.-= pete wilson´s last blog ..A God Who Specializes In Resurrections =-.
Pete,
Thanks so much .. that makes sense. I guess I’m the victim to that as well! Kinda odd that he’d say “passion for public productivity” … I suppose that’s OK, and like anything, a passion can become an idol, if we’re not careful. Definitely speaks to me!
Thanks again!
.-= Fred McKinnon´s last blog ..So I’ve Been Thinking About You Lately … =-.
I’m sick of America’s obsession with productivity and always having to be the biggest, the best, and the most bad-ass. That attitude of non-stop action (work) and continual improvement (change) has seeped into schools, businesses, churches and relationships. New plans are instituted before the old ones are given a chance to work.
People, students, employees, church members don’t have time to breathe. The average working couple (if they are lucky enough to still have jobs at this point) has now added 160 work hours per year to their schedules because bosses now demand longer work hours and 24-7 availability. And where are the kids?
The idea of just sitting still, enjoying relationship, and letting our relationships transform us is almost a foreign concept now. The idea that we are valuable apart from what we do is almost a foreign concept (and a scary one for those people who have only ever been accepted based on performance/talent/charisma/size and scope of impact.)
Lately, I find myself becoming the little old lady I used to make fun of who just wants to get lost in the hills and reclaim a piece of “the good ol’ days.” And while that is is sad and ridiculous at the same time, I find myself trying to figure out ways to do it. Can it even be done anymore?
I applaud Piper. I wish more of us had the guts. I wish more of us had the desire. Then maybe putting our families ahead of the almighty dollar woudn’t seem like such a dangerous, scary, out-there thing to do. I wonder–seriously, I’m not asking it lightly–If Jesus were an American today, what would he do? Where would he draw the lines in the sand? Or would he just doodle until everyone walked away…so he could get a little peace and quiet?
In a word … wow! Everything you said resonates with me in ways I can’t even discribe. Thank you for this wake-up call, Brother!
.-= Rob´s last blog ..TREASURE =-.
Pete
Thanks for sharing your addiction to “public productivity”…and great to read about your Saturday Sabbath with the family.
I’m part way through Charles Swindoll’s book on Paul’s life and found it really interesting how the first years of Paul’s Christian life were spent in the shadows as God dealt with his “naturalness” so he could be a better minister in the “supernatural”. Through this refining process, Paul came out the other side with his ministry of grace – “He (Jesus) must increase, we must decrease” and in doing so received even more significant anointing to further God’s glory.
Similarly Jesus tended to take time out to just be still and pray.
Another key point Swindoll makes is the importance of being surrounded by helpers or “wingmen” as I like to term them who keep us accountable, encourage and at times lead us allowing us to melt back into the shadows for a period of time. Jesus used the disciples, they used each other, Billy Graham has had his 2 wingmen with him through most of his incredible ministry period, David had Jonathan, etc.
Pete – may I encourage you to get your wingmen(& women) around you and use them to keep that achilles heel of pride & ego that keeps striking us each time we produce something. (Did I do a good job? Was my message/tweet/email great, why aren’t people RTing it?). And yes, maybe it’s time for them to preach this week, allowing you to sit in the shadows for a moment & be still with the Lord who has even greater plans to use you in your ministry.
Hi Pete,
I work as a counselor. I just learned last night that one my clients has been much more moved by the fact that I ask him to step out for 5 minutes every Tuesday Night so I can call and say goodnight to my daughter than anything I have actually said to him. I don’t think we realize how powerful it is to simply love our families in this broken world and the impact it makes on those that observe us consistently.
Piper is right to work on his family and check his pride and passion for public recognition to do so.
But the example he is setting is not very instructive for the rest of us. Most of us can’t take 8 months off of work so that we aren’t prideful. A far better example, I believe, would be his public outworking of this amidst his daily responsibilities.
I mean, if at the end of this 8 months, he just goes back to doing it all, what’s the point?
.-= Ken Eastburn´s last blog ..What Would Happen if the Church’s Focus was to Make Disciples? =-.