I agree!! Just 2 night ago, our pastor said the same thing to us…that he didn’t want to show favoritism. And you know what? I was thinking, “Wait a minute, Jesus had his 12…his 3. You know people probably thought he had his favorites.”

My husband and I are elders as well. Yet our pastor won’t call us. It’s like we don’t know him. He speaks about us trusting to keep other accountable. How can we do that I don’t if he wants us to?

Sounds like this is a common mistake in the church. I’m very heartbroken. Not sure what we are going to do from here. But still praying. Thanks for the post…

I can’t tell you how much this broke my heart. From our experience, our trust towards our brothers and sisters..our love..has been built hanging out with each other..getting to know each other. Especially if we are elders…I mean, we thought our role to help in accountability. But how can that happen when he won’t even calls to chat? We have no right to speak into his life if he doesn’t give off any signals that we can.

Anyways, I know I’m just venting. It makes me sad. I want to feel connected. I want to feel like family because they are my family! I just don’t agree that our pastor should voluntarily not have friends. Sigh.

To be honest, however, I met quite a few beginning pastors in college and seminary that were incapable of a real relationship, or leadership, for that matter. If the 70% stat is true, the social ineptitude of some pastors has to be a factor.

Beyond that, I agree with some other commenters that fear and busyness probably prevent real friendships in many pastors’ lives.

However, it is clear that Jesus not only had a team of disciples, but 3 close friends and one that the bible says he loved. In fact he used to lean back against him whilst eating!

Thank you for this post. Sometimes I’ve wondered if was the only one who thought this. This idea that pastors shouldn’t have friends is unbiblical and needs breaking.