Shut UP!
I’ve been reading through the book of Proverbs with my church during the 31 Day Challenge. Today we’re on Proverbs 11 and I was once again reminded of just how much trouble I can get in with my mouth. Proverbs actually has quite a lot to say about the pitfalls our mouth can get us into.
Prov 11:12-1312 It is foolish to belittle one’s neighbor; a sensible person keeps quiet.13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
The sensible person keeps quiet. Wow! What a word for our culture today. The art of “keeping quiet” is not something we’re very familiar with these days. In fact, it seems we keep creating new forms of communication to avoid “keeping quiet.” Blogs, podcasts, email, text messaging, and twitter all seem to be new tempting formats for us to avoid “keeping quiet.”
Sometimes I imagine how different life would be if we were all to follow the wisdom of Proverbs and just shut up more often. So what if today you were to try an experiment? What if today you just tried shutting up?
Today your spouse will say something and you will know deep down inside they’re wrong and your first instinct will be to correct them, which will boost your pride, but what if you just shut up?
Someone at work today is going to say something that rubs you the wrong way and you’ll be tempted to fire back with your opinion feeling somewhat self-righteous, but what if instead of firing back at them you just shut up?
At some point today you’ll have a negative experience with a person, company, or restaurant and you’ll be tempted to let your dissatisfaction be known via twitter so that you feel some immediate sense of vindication, but what if you just shut up and put your phone away.
You will probably hear some bad news about someone today and you’ll be tempted to secretly celebrate it and share it with others in an attempt to make you feel better about your life, but what if you just shut up.
So in the most loving way I know how I want to encourage all of us to “shut up!” Just try it for a day.
My guess is you’ll ruin fewer friendships, waste less time, earn great respect from others, increase intimacy in your relationships, and crush fewer souls. Not bad for a days work.
Anyone else struggle with saying too much?
(you can also GO HERE to join in a much larger conversation about Proverbs 11)
I think you are dead on here. It would change many relationships if sometimes we just said nothing.
Reminds me of a friend and I who could go out and spend the day together and say very little. My wife has never been able to understand this!
Plus you become a person of intrigue when you say very little.
.-= Jim F.´s last blog ..The Easy Part =-.
I agree Jim F. My marriage is probably the place I need to “shut up” the most.
Yep, and I wrote about it here: “The art of tongue biting.” The title of that post is just too close to what you said, “The art of keeping quiet,” to keep quiet about it. :>)
Seriously, though… yes, it’s an insane battle because on one side I want to connect with the entire world, and one of my favorite ways I know to connect is to talk (the best is probably to listen). I consistently wearing my orange Chucks in my mouth though.
Thanks for bringing it up. I’ve found going through the Proverbs again here that it gives a lot of advice that, while we all have heard it and know it, we rarely actually follow. Following the advice is the key, not knowing it. Just check Solomon to see how that turned out.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
.-= bondChristian´s last blog ..A simple tip for funny without a single joke =-.
I’m gonna try to Shut UP today. But speaking my mind is a hard habit to break.
PS – I want to thank you for yesterday’s message. It really put the Proverb’s thing in context for me. And I need context. (Seriously, it’s one of my strengths.)
.-= Lindsey Nobles´s last blog ..“Always Give God The Glory” =-.
Great thoughts Pete. You’re right…today I’m just gonna shu
.-= Jason´s last blog ..The 15 year old Catholic school girl sex slave =-.
Thanks, Pete. I needed this message today. Reading it was the perfect way to start a Monday, the most stressful of my work days.
I’ve been reading along with CP and YES! It’s a problem for me to just shut the heck up!!! Soooo many words in my head Pete, I feel like I’m gonna blow if I can’t say them all.
So for me it starts in my mind and my heart…I have to quiet the inside voices then I can better quiet my ample mouth.
.-= Robin´s last blog ..24 year love… =-.
Quieting those inside voices is tough work!
Well I probably need to read this about an hour ago. Oh well. Try again.
I personally was struck by this part of that verse: “A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.”
I’ve been “bit” pretty hard by those who can’t hold their gossiping tongue. {Related to a few}.
If we learned to hold our tongue. Then wouldn’t that also mean that we actually listen to each other instead of assuming that we know what someone is going to say next? We have active ears, engaged hearts, instead of needing to be heard. Instead of needing to spread our words/ideas everywhere. Makes it easier to “hear” what God intends for us to say or do in a conversation.
Gossip. Our mouths. This is kinda my soapbox.
Stepping down now. I’m gonna just shut up!
.-= jessica´s last blog ..My Birthday Week =-.
As you know, I am very quiet and reserved. But I can see how others struggle with this problem. Good luck with all of THAT!
.-= katdish´s last blog ..Choosing Love (by Billy Coffey) =-.
Pete this is SO dead on with what we all need to hear and actually DO. A great distinction between us and Proverbs is so evident in the verse: “A sensible person keeps quiet..” It’s sad that today we see the “soft spoken” people as odd, as if they have less to contribute to our society. We glorify the loud mouths, those who react instantaneously, and public scrutiny. We want discussion, we thrive on noise (whether bad or good). I think as we continue this quest through Proverbs we are going to realize just how unwise and backward our society is…
.-= Christina Ludwick´s last blog .."I’m Standing on the Rock" =-.
I agree!
Especially the men! If a guy is soft spoken, so often he is passed off as a wimp, and that is so very sad. Some of mine and Adam’s dearest friends are the ones who rarely speak… we are the ones who don’t shut up. We just know that every time they actually DO say something, it’s worth while, and will quite often knock us sideways.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Just Ducking In… =-.
For me, when God brought me to my knees, destroyed my pride, and opened the eyes of my heart…was the probably the first time i have Shut Up. This last year I have been practicing “shutting up”, it sure is difficult, but have found out the truth of this passage.
Matthew 15:18 (English Standard Version)
18But(A) what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.
Word!
All the time….
I kind of summarize my problems here in this post:
http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com/listening-unibrows-and-god/
Don’t want to take up the whole comment stream with this problem which in fact would show my need to shut up and you would all see how much I truly struggle with this…need to stop talking.
As I was reading this, it reminded me how Proverbs (17:28) says even a fool appears wise when he keeps his mouth shut.
I’ve definitely gotten myself into trouble by opening my mouth too much. I’ve learned, even if I am “right” or I’m speaking the “truth” sometimes its best to just stay silent!
.-= Nick´s last blog ..“That’s Christmas” Music Video =-.
I could have used this one last week!
.-= Linda´s last blog ..“THICKER than BLOOD” by C. J. Darlington =-.
Well said. I talk WAY too much. Thanks!
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Fabric Care tips from Tim Gunn – An Interview =-.
Thanks for the reminder to keep my yap shut. I have never been one to wish I’d spoken up. More often I find myself kicking myself for not listening instead of talking.
The tongue is a fire… a world of wickedness… ignited by hell James 3:6 amp bible
Oh, I am having a real hard time being quite today with all my co-workers who are from New England!
I will give you a pass. I can’t stand the Patriots so feel free to fire away.
Good words, as always, Pete! This is what I taught in our Childen’s Church yesterday, and now I am trying to “practicing what I preached!” I thought I may have to resort to duct tape for my mouth!!
Biting my tongue is never easy, but I’ve found it sure helps in my relationships. But it’s so hard to keep my mouth shut when I KNOW I’m right — and yes, I’m often wrong about being right. It’s confusing, I know.
Pride is something that often opens my mouth. It’s only through God’s AMAZING Grace can I keep it shut! I thank Him for that grace and I know my husband does too!
.-= Mary´s last blog ..Small Town Life =-.
My motto is choose joy — I find lots more joy when my mouth is shut!
I don’t want to go from spiritual to philosophical here, but there is one statement that Plato made that I try to always keep as a filter for my mouth:
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” – Plato
.-= Aaron Reddin´s last blog ..Teaching Organizations How to Leverage Social Media =-.
Love this post…we all need to take this challenge! I don’t like being wrong and am usually quick to correct others (pride)…I do need to pray that God will help me to hold my tongue-shut up. Thank you for taking the time to write these devotionals and for sharing them, these are just the kind of Biblical applications I need!
the hardest thing for me to remember is to just shut up when I hear something about someone else and find myself immediately thinking I just wanna “share” this information with this person and that person…when “sharing” is just covert gossiping.
This is GREAT advice. Just shut up.
Thanks for a great entry.
.-= Melinda B´s last blog ..Count Your Blessings… =-.
Good post..agree, agree, agree:)
We like NOISE! Bet we incur more trials from God to cut thru the noise, get us quiet, turn us toward Him for 5 minutes.
great post today. imagine the heartache that would be avoided if we just shut up…
.-= brian miller´s last blog ..160 – time bomb =-.
Okay, I understand and agree. But what if you wanted to tell you’re friend your opinion and she tells you you’re wrong and you shut up. This was like this for a couple of years. She was good in telling me to shut up. And I did. Not difficult. Runs in the family. Learned to let the other have the last word (most of them men!). And you know how I did that? There are a lot of men in my family and I had two older brothers. Yep, my experience is that men don’t like it NOT to have the last word. Well the men I know. So I got trained to let them have the last word. For me it works also with friends. But at work it would drive them crazy that I let them have the last word? “Oh now you don’t want to talk anymore”? I’m like you don’t want to listen to me and I don’t want to have a ridiculous discussion that goes on and on and on.
So, back to my friend, I let my friend have the last word. Years later she accused me of never telling her my opinion?! Excuse me! I am a girl who does have her own opinion about things but if you don’t want to hear fine by me.
It’s never good. I guess we have to find the way in the middle???
.-= Lily´s last blog ..LilyAny: RT @wordmadeflesh: Please join us in praying for Annie Keith, new staff member heading out today to join her Moldova team. =-.
Yep. You’ve got to find balance. Obviously we are called to bring loving truth to the people around us.
Im up for the challenge! I definitely need to SHUT UP!!!
.-= Kelli´s last blog ..Primal : in my humble opinion =-.
This is something I struggle with daily. I react and speak without thinking. I have destroyed a relationship with my children, my spouse. My children are so angry with me and write horrible things because of the abandonment of 15 years ago when I left to take care of my parents knowing they would need me as they grew older – which they did. The hurtful things they write, keep me up at night. I have been forgiven by God just not them. I react to my step-childrens behavior instead of ignoring the disrespectfulness. Please pray that I can shut up for one day.
Good post. A few years ago I started a discipline of keeping my mouth shut. When I was at Bible study, I would deliberately choose to keep at least 1 thought to myself during discussion. And that was hard. But it really helped to train me to think before I speak – as an extrovert, that’s especially challenging!
Lily, I think you do have to strike a good balance. Instead of focusing on who has the last word, maybe you could focus on making sure the conversation has been completed – have you communicated all you needed to, and has the other person communicated all they needed to. Have you come to a resolution that you both agree to? If those 2 things have happened then it doesn’t matter who has the last word. If they haven’t happened, then letting someone have the last word is just letting the conversation end prematurely. Just my 2 cents for what is no doubt a very complicated situation.
EVERY DAY!
I’m pretty good at being quiet with others….. because I just want to please them.
I do have a problem writing things online…..since I can be quiet IRL yet I still want to be known and writing gives me that outlet in a “safer” way. Sometimes I’m more argumentative, opinionated or open online. IDK.
Thanks for the post.
.-= Torybee´s last blog ..Coded Messages =-.
Pete,
wow, that was a definite word/challenge I needed in this season of my life. Thank you for sharing your heart all of the time. You are quite the example for a young guy like me in ministry.
I hope today, I can be the best I’ve ever been by just dying to self and SHUTTING UP! I like that, its gonna be a toughy. lol
Blessings Brother!
p.s. you game for that coffee soon!?
So, let me get this straight. You’re telling me to shut up? Well, sir, I’ll have you know…that that’s a 1 day challenge in itself – much less a 31 day challenge!!
Thanks for sharing the profound wisdom (a.k.a. “common sense”) of the Proverbs. I wish I had read this about 2 hours ago, though. I probably wouldn’t have said dumb stuff to my wife today!
Thanks again, Pete
.-= Rob´s last blog ..SWEET PEA =-.
You know what….you are right. I opened my big mouth on Friday about something an even though I was standing up for a certain issue…I probably hurt more people than I helped. Thanks for lovingly telling me to shut up!
You said “stupid” yesterday and “shut up” today…
Great stuff…I am great at speaking first and thinking later! I am stupid and I need to shut up.
.-= Justin Davis´s last blog ..Identity Crisis =-.
I’m breaking all the rules!!
Thanks for the Shut Up! blog, although I wished I would’ve read it before I opened my mouth.
.-= pdrobb´s last blog ..EuroUTC (part 2) =-.
I definitely struggle with keeping my mouth shut. I am not usually a talkative person, but I have a hard time resisting correcting people. I try to chalk it up to the fact that I’m a scientist and I have to be concerned with what is correct and when I correct people (mostly my husband) it’s just my work mindset spilling over to my personal life. But really, I struggle with pride and self importance. This is a tough area for me. One that I desperately need to make progress in.
Pete, within 10 minutes of reading this post I found myself needing to just shut up with a vendor. Thanks for sharing the wisdom and being so timely.
Last year I memorized lots of scripture relating to my mouth…it helped. Those verses pop into my brain when I need help which is often or maybe every single day. Particularly Psalm 19:14: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you O Lord, my rock and my redeeemer.’ Ouch.
.-= joyce´s last blog ..We Are Family =-.
Pete, you have gently but firmly reminded me that I need to “shut up” more often!!! Thanks, friend!! Ha
Thank you for this post — I’m definitely guilty more times then not of talking more then listening. I tell myself it’s to put the other people more at ease… hmmm.. I might need to rethink that.
God bless,
Catherine
Shutting up.
….
You KNOW… it’s funny that this should come up today. Just a short 2 hours ago, I was asked to step down from teaching in my church (even though I had asked to be relieved back in September and have been waiting for a replacement since then) because of what I said on my blog about a popular book.
If I had kept my opinions to myself, I would still be waiting for my replacement.
Haven’t quite come to terms with how I feel about this situation so am waiting on God to speak. (maybe proverbs is His way)
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..siht meedeR =-.
Hmmmmm, not sure how I feel about this Tony. Sure hate the idea of you not having a format to share the wisdom God has given you. I know I’ve learned a lot from your teaching (right here on the blog).
Pete,
I am at peace with it. And there is always a forum in mentoring, discipleship, home groups.. and yes, even in blog land.
The main reason that I had asked to step down in September had to do with my feelings on being forced to use a curriculum instead of teaching from the bible. They had no one to replace me and I didn’t want to injure the class by leaving a vacancy so I stayed on and to the best of my ability, honored the curriculum direction that the church had chosen to take.
A current ‘church-wide’ book emphasis is coming out and I read the book and gave my thoughts about it. Probably should have kept the thoughts to myself (in response to your shut up post).. but I guess I didn’t think my opinions would be that controversial.
Strike it up to a lesson learned… and still being learned, as I haven’t come through this completely yet.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..siht meedeR =-.
by the way.. I can see that there are some people already hitting my link out of curiosity. The post in question is not my last one. It concerns the “One Month to Live” book.
.-= Tony York´s last blog ..siht meedeR =-.
Yep. Had a not so good church board meeting on Saturday and another one tonight. Shutting up is hard to do, especially when you are the pastor and suppose to have all the answers and correct everyone when they are wrong! Just kidding about that. But staying silent is very hard to do when you are in the “hot seat”. I will do this tonight. Thanks for the encouragement.
wish i had read this BEFORE i twittered about having to “surrender” $20 worth of stuff at security at the airport. One of my goals that i actually plan on accomplishing this year, decade, lifetime, is to talk less and listen more. JUST SHUT UP! Thanks for the reminder!
Hey – did you know the one thing I so struggle with is just that. Being quiet. In a conversation, it is as if I feel responsible for not letting there be quiet or gaps, even though in hindsight I look back and can say with certainty that perhaps if I had just waited – been still, the person I was with might have had something important to say. You have been with me on social occasions- perhaps you see that too? If I had made a new yrs resolution, that would be it. BE STILL AND LISTEN.
Hey YOU shut up! Wait… maybe I’ve missed the point.
)
.-= Bill Foote´s last blog ..The Death of a Dream =-.
Great word, Pete. It requires great discipline, but is worth it!
Buddy
This is why there are days I hardly twitter at all.
Somedays I just don’t trust myself to say anything constructive or helpful.
.-= Jan Owen´s last blog ..Why Does Church Hurt? =-.
Wow, I was surprised at how many different ways Proverbs listed off for getting yourself into trouble by opening your mouth. The ones that hit home with me tended to center on how wise people might not speak that often, but when they do, we should pay attention; whilst some people (me?) chatter a lot about nothing much.
.-= Jan C´s last blog ..On Hiatus =-.
wow I struggle with that ALL the time. I’ve gotten a lot better at holding my tongue since I’ve started praying that God help me love better, but it’s still really hard.
It’s really ironic that you said what you did about twitter, because right after I read your post, I was going to get on twitter and complain about a comment that kinda upset me on my blog
I’ve been there many times Heather. Those twitters always come back to bite me.
Be swift to hear and slow to speak is one of my favorite slogans – something I constantly work on applying in my daily life.
I have a bad habit of volunteering my opinion…whether it’s been asked of me or not. So last year I did this experiment where I tried to go a week without expressing a single opinion. (I had ground rules and accountability, of course.)
The experience taught me a few things: 1) I don’t need to speak nearly as often as I think I do, 2) I learn more when I listen more, 3) I’ve got to learn to accept with grace the fact that there are bad ideas out there that people believe and perpetuate, 4) My husband has lot of good things to say!
Of course, as a lifelong Alabama fan, I haven’t shut up all week!
.-= Rachel H. Evans´s last blog ..On Resenting Anne Jackson =-.
I needed to read this, especially after this weekend. I need to shut up.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..25 Years & 11 Months =-.
Thank you for sharing this. I think it’s something we all need to be reminded of!
God is in Heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few!
.-= Vanity of Vanities´s last blog ..Wow, What a Week! =-.
This is one of your best posts yet Pete!
So very true – Silence is golden.
Often when less is spoken – more is said.
Oh, I should shut up now
Completely ahead, but still on the topic of shutting up… Prov 27:14 makes me think Solomon was NOT a morning person. Cracks me up every time.
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Just Ducking In… =-.
Too funny!
Yup. All the time.
And I’m shuttin’ up now. . .
.-= The Gang’s Momma´s last blog ..Pray for Haiti! =-.
This works! Last night I was standing in line to rent my son’s cap and gown for his graduation. It was taking forever and right when I was about to say something negative and sarcastic, I thought to myself “Why don’t you try shutting up for a change.” I didn’t say anything and it felt good.
Signed,
From a satisfied customer of Without wax
Thanks Pete
.-= Bill Foote´s last blog ..The Death of a Dream =-.
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