Comments on: Is It Possible To Overparent?

By: Friday Links Roundup: We Don’t Quite Get the Concept Edition « The Faughn Family of Four

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:27:55 +0000

[...] 2. The other parenting post comes from Pete Wilson. He reacted (well) to a recent Time magazine article. Get his perspective on “Is It Possible to Overparent?“ [...]

By: Carole Turner

Carole Turner — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:42:04 +0000

I totally agree.

By: Ash Johnson

Ash Johnson — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:55:42 +0000

You’ve got to listen to this real answering machine message from a public school in Austrailia…I think it relates to this discussion:
This is awesome. Take a listen.

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1212601907690&ref=mf

By: Ash Johnson

Ash Johnson — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 01:49:35 +0000

Amen! I have 4 kids and this is the constant struggle, but or kids have not done sports yet, and a big part of the reason we homeschool…to build relationships. What happened to the days of adding activities once you hit middle school? Why all the pressure to have our elementary kids so over-activitied (if that is a word). This affects our churches as well….Kids are so “entertained” now that they don’t know how to just “be” in church. I enjoyed this post. Thanks for writing it! God grant us wisdom and grace as we parent.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 03:12:59 +0000

Love this one. VERY well stated. I think those that tend to over parent do so out of either guilt or trying to make up for what they feel they lacked as a child. Just my opinion.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:40:08 +0000

Why do we want our child to make a 31 on the ACT or
Why do we want him to be the star football player or
the class beauty or
the head cheerleader
or the class valedictorian?

Why?

Why are we worried about how they dress?
or who they hang out with?

Why is it so important that our 3 year old is in music class or tumbling class?

Why do we place demands on your children that we don’t put on ourselves?

Why? I’ve been doing this parenting thing for just over 23 years and I’ve struggled with the over-parenting — and I’ve made all the arguments:
I want my girls to fit in
I want to give them the advantages
I want them to achieve.

But the bottom line truth is:
I want to fit in
I want to be accepted
I want to be liked

When I finally realized that I AM a child of God and my worth and value comes from my life in CHRIST. Not in how my child behaves.

It want to spend my time connecting with my girls. My oldest is married now and I still make time to connect with her. My baby is now 16 and on the cusp of college — I cherish the time with her.
.-= Mary´s last blog ..The Christmas Cat or am I the Crazy Cat Lady =-.

By: Pete Wilson

Pete Wilson — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 04:05:46 +0000

@Amanda, I want you to tell us what you really think.

By: Michael Holmes

Michael Holmes — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:59:58 +0000

When my son was younger my wife was always worrying whether or not he would walk. The other parents would always ask, “He’s not walking yet?”

I told her, “Listen he’s gonna walk.” And after a while he did. Then the next thing was (from the other parents), “Why isn’t he walking as fast?”

Sigh.

You’re right…we do overparent. God give me the wisdom to be a Parent like Him.
.-= Michael Holmes´s last blog ..Leadership Lessons from King David =-.

By: amanda

amanda — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:51:05 +0000

I have no children of my own, but as a first grade teacher, i do “parent” 21 kids for 7 and a half hours a day. BY MYSELF! Without video games.
I absolutely believe that we push kids too hard. But I also agree that it is a societal thing.
I was having this discussion with some other teachers today. We were talking about how no matter what we do, our kids just don’t seem excited or interested in learning anymore.
But what I realized is that it’s because we, as teachers, aren’t a video game, a television show, a DS, a zombie they can kill, the list goes on and on. We have to come up with more creative ways to teach, come up with “projects” to just get the kids to like to read. It’s almost like we have to trick them into learning. Um, how about read this book because I told you to? When really , they’re bored because they aren’t beating the latest zombie game. And because they can beat said zombie game, their parents tell their child’s teacher that they think their child is gifted. “He can beat this game that no adults can beat.”
Because of the immediacy of this society, we want things NOW and don’t want to wait for anything anymore. We want to make more money NOW. We want to have more things NOW. Bigger houses, more cars, NOW NOW NOW. We want things without having to earn them.
So kids are given these video games, movies, tvs in their bedrooms, put into all kinds activities, maybe because they mentioned one time to their parents that they liked soccer and football and cheerleading and pottery and singing, etc. etc. etc.
The kids are doing worse at school because they have too many distractions at home, yet more and more and more expectations are put onto teachers and schools in order to prove that we are teaching. And then parents think the schools aren’t doing their job and teaching their child.
AHHHHH… it’s a never ending cycle. I’m going to stop now before the blood vessel in my head bursts from frustration.
Love you Pete!
.-= amanda´s last blog ..The Night Before Christmas =-.

By: Brunettekoala

Brunettekoala — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:41:28 +0000

@Jan – so true. It’s not too bad in Scottish state schools, but my younger siblings went to private school and it was crazy. My sister would be so ill just with exhaustion and stress really by the end of term. When I heard of what high school involved from some of my American friends I was appalled. 7 a.m. classes? Sports practice before school began, and sometimes afterwards as well? I did a TON of extracurricular stuff while I was in high school, but I’m happy to say that it was pretty much all stuff I chose to do myself. and it was all at ‘sane’ hours! But yes, by the time I was 15 it was rare for me to have a meal with the rest of my family.
.-= Brunettekoala´s last blog ..The most famous pregnancy crisis story, like, EVER =-.