There are two words that for some reason are SO difficult to say.
They’re difficult to say to your spouse.
They’re difficult to say to your co-workers.
They’re difficult to say to your kids.
The two words: I’m Sorry.
Why are these two words so problematic? One word: Pride
There are few words that can change the bearing of a conversation, defuse anger, and convey the kind of healing power those two words can.
My guess is there’s at least one person in your life that needs to hear those words roll off your tongue today.
Pete,
I’m thankful for many things in this life. I’ve got shelter, think I’m pretty healthy, I eat way too much, Mom’s doing good, I’m blessed with some awesomely great friends, and I’m high tech enough that when you post on your blog, I can instantly be made aware of it. I very, very seldom post a comment, but you should know that the work God has done through you in my life has been nothing short of incredible. This post in particular could not have come at a better time.
Now, with all that said…”I’m sorry” for just now making it to church last night for the first time in months! Whew! Man, I feel better now!
God bless you man!
I at times have a difficult time with saying I am sorry but (and this isn’t bragging) I hear myself saying “I’m sorry” all the time to my wife. I don’t like to see her hurting from my selfish words so I usually say sorry quicker than she would like. I say quicker because she is usually still upset.
PS: Less selfish words = the need for more I’m sorrys.
@David, For some reason saying “I’m Sorry” to Brandi can be difficult. Always glad when I do though.
If we could just learn to go into conversations and relationships being willing to forgive no matter what, and being willing to ask for forgiveness no matter what or who is at fault…how many situations would turn out so differently?
In the past I have refused to say those two words because I needed to be the one that was “right”, but what did that get me?
It can seem so overwhelming. Where do I start? I can begin be laying my first “I’m sorry” at the feet of God…and let him lead to the hearts that need to hear that from me next. Where to go next?
.-= jessica´s last blog ..ReBuilding =-.
edit: Less selfish words = the need for less I’m sorrys.
I almost made it without needing editing. Sorry about that.
Ughhh I KNOW! Totally dealt with this last night. Couldn’t sleep until I apologized to two people:
1. The person to whom I said the wrong thing
2. The friend who called me out for saying the wrong thing in the first place (because I got defensive, so I had to apologize to him too!)
It’s so hard to say sometimes but totally worth it!
.-= elizabeth´s last blog ..and i can’t even think of a clever title! =-.
WOW!!!!!
so so very true Pete!!!!!!!
Exactly right Pete.
I know I need to say these words many times and yet I often shy away from them.
I think Pride is definitely the reason why I struggle saying these words.
The hardest part for me is admitting that what I just did was wrong. I want to believe that I act with the love of Christ and so by me saying that I am wrong is telling myself that I am not acting like Christ. I hate to admit that I was being like a sinner and not like a sinner saved by Grace.
@Kyle Reed, stinks doesn’t it?
Saying I’m sorry is so important. That’s what we say to God when we sin and He says i forgive you. We just have to remember to forgive also. It’s hard to say I’m sorry to someone who continually rejects it but we have to keep saying it and forgiving!!
.-= Cindy Brown´s last blog ..Thank You Veterans!!! =-.
Those two words are the hardest at times for me to speak but once spoken the freedom I feel is so much sweeter! Thanks for posting this! Good reminder for me today!
.-= Becky´s last blog ..My Sunday Shoot =-.
I’d have an easier time saying the Titans will make the playoffs than saying “I’m sorry.”
I often try to apologize without actually saying “I’m sorry.” I like to dance around the words and speak something that sounds like an apology without actually apologizing. Saying “I’m sorry” is a lot like saying “I love you.” We can get close to the meaning using a lot of different words but, unless we actually say “I’m sorry” our words are empty, full of sound and fury yet signifying nothing.
“so true”. The two words that came to my mind as I read your two wrods.
It is so hard for me to say I’m sorry. And when you think about it, they really are just two words that can often diffuse a heated conversation. If I would say I’m sorry to my husband when I have wronged him we would probably spend more time trying to work on an issue TOGETHER rather than fighting EACH OTHER.
Great post Pete!
Okay; stop with the forgiveness/I’m sorry posts! I feel bad enough!
Is it always pride that keeps us from saying I’m sorry? I think you’re right; the root is most definitely pride, but I think a lot of it is the knowledge that one disappointed another person….. but does that always stem from pride?
I’m an “I’m sorry” type of person. I say it all the time, shoulder the responsibility/guilt of things that aren’t mine. While on a bike ride a person opened their car door and I ran into it. Crumpled up on the sidewalk in tears, my first instinct was to apologize for hitting their car.
I don’t know.
.-= Torybee´s last blog ..Field Trip! =-.
Aw, man… I thought the words would be, “You’re fired!” Hah. I guess you can see where my mind goes when you say: “My guess is there’s at least one person in your life that needs to hear those words roll off your tongue today.”
.-= Jeff Goins´s last blog ..Building Community, Jon Acuff Style (Slowly and Honestly) =-.
I had to be honest about this last week and did a post about it too. ( http://tinyurl.com/yb2g5f2 ) I need to say it probably more often than I do.
Thanks Pete!
Ron Edmondson
.-= Ron Edmondson´s last blog ..Another Secret About Men They May Not Tell You =-.
I get my “sorry’s”
At Apologies-R-Us
Variety Pack
Thanks for making us think about that.
Let me just add something to the back end of that. We’re often bad at apologizing, but I think people are worse at ACCEPTING apologies.
What is the most common response people give when somebody apologizes to them?
“Oh that’s ok. Don’t worry about it”
That or some variation thereof. Have you ever done that when somebody apologize to you when they hurt you in some way? That person has pushed away their pride to apologize and the best we can do is tell them it was no big deal even if it was?
The first time somebody apologized to me and I said, “Well, I appreciate you saying that. Thank you.”, the person had a mild look of surprise on their face. They clearly were not expecting that reaction and they appreciated that their apology was accepted and not just brushed aside with, “Don’t worry about it.”
.-= Jay´s last blog ..Help-Portrait =-.
What I hate is the “I’m sorry . . . but” apology. “I’m sorry, but you made me do it,” or “I’m sorry, but you hurt me first.” “I’m sorry, (but I’m really not, I’m just trying to get off the hook).”
I get these apologies from my kids a lot, which makes me more aware of the times I give apologies that are still pride-filled and immature, and that miss the mark. It feels so much better to give a sincere, “I’m sorry I hurt you, regardless of my reasoning at the time,” type of apology. It does get easier to do as you get older, but not by much!
.-= Jan C.´s last blog ..Most weekends just seem too short, and therefore I find that . . . . =-.
@Jay, good point about accepting apologies.
Very true, Pete. I try very hard to apology when I feel the need is there, which is probably more often than I’d like! Of course, ideally it’s better to watch our tongues and actions in the first place than to apologize later for hurt feelings.
.-= Lori´s last blog .."If I Only Had A Brain" =-.
You’re right.
But that person probably won’t hear it….long story. And admitting fault isn’t one of my strong points.
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..Music Monday =-.
I have no problem with I’m sorry. I can say I’m sorry and do almost chronically. My 5 yo walks through Walmart with me now saying “Scuse me, Sorry.” the whole way. However, saying, “will you forgive me?” Yeah, not so easy. It makes me feel much more vulnerable. It’s something we’re trying to practice with the kids though, not just saying I’m sorry, but going the extra step and asking for forgiveness.
Very well said Pete.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..Hello from Nigeria =-.
Well…I say I’m sorry too often.
I think it’s as big a problem at times as not saying your sorry when you should!
I have found it diffuses tense times so quickly that I throw it around as if it’s just a regular part of my everyday vocabulary.
Problem: kind of like saying, “the sky is falling” too often, people stop believing it’s authentic if I use it too much.
I hate conflict, I really like people to like me, and I LOVE peaceful ministry. So I tend to overuse I’m sorry!
.-= Lori Biddle´s last blog ..what I learned today =-.