Every day millions of people are fighting for it. Their quest causes…
marriages to explode
jobs to be lost
reputations to be damaged
relationships to drift
kids to be pushed a way
And for what? All for the achievement of one of the greatest and most addictive illusions of our life: control
I love the way my friend Chad Jarnagan said it yesterday, “Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go.”
What is it you’re trying to control and manipulate that you should be giving back to God?
Hi Pete,
I agree, but in your list of the consequences which are a result of the fight for control I would add:
1. Churches are split and the Holy Spirit grieved.
2. Christianity becomes all about one or a few men’s vision and not about the meaning of the cross and our calling to reach the lost and enpower, edify and encourage others.
3. A few call all the shots and the rest follow missing the opportunity to use their gifts and become all that God has for them.
4. Onlookers look at how churches function, how the spirit of control reigns in many of them, and they run a mile, because they see nothing different in how the world and the church operate.
This is just what I see based on my own experience. I don’t expect you to agree but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Blessings,
.-= ransom33´s last blog ..IT IS TIME! =-.
@ransom33, no doubt! Preach it girl.
I am sorry. I did not mean to preach, just trying to bring things a little closer to home, that’s all!
.-= ransom33´s last blog ..IT IS TIME! =-.
Can I take the “easy” way out and say my whole life?
.-= Sarah´s last blog ..A Word About Eunice Kennedy Shriver =-.
I am trying to take control of an old friendship that I have neglected and I am trying to make sure that in the end it is not blamed on me, when I think alot of should be. I am praying that I can turn this over to God and let him touch my heart with what I should be doing about it.
My future.
.-= Harold´s last blog ..Isaias Gabriel – Making The Difference in the DR =-.
I hate to take the easy way out like Sarah and Harold but it’s really my life and my future. I have a hard time not having control to direct the future path.
.-= Jason´s last blog ..Let them eat…nothing? =-.
my spouse…I have to work at not playing Holy Spirit
.-= joyce´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.
By far, the area of career… oh yea – and parenting – especially during the single mom time.
Just the TV remote, really. I have issues.
.-= sherri´s last blog ..Now what?! =-.
@joyce, that’s one of my biggest temptaions.
I think that’s what Jesus meant (for those of us who won’t be martyrs) when he told us that whoever loses his life will find it in him. When we just let go, Jesus doesn’t take away, but returns things to us restored and complete.
.-= Matt @ TCoNP´s last blog ..The Naked Blog Post =-.
My future and my relationships with others. I’d love to relinquish control, I’m just not good at that.
.-= Nic´s last blog ..God is Love =-.
I’m trying to control my relationship with my boyfriend and the upcoming arrival of our baby. I can’t control any of it but that doesn’t stop me from trying far too frequently.
My 15 year old step son
.-= jody´s last blog ..Term limits are the answer! =-.
my marriage, my finances, the way others percieve me.
The future. I lost my job in 2008 and I struggled God for control of my path. Like your friend put it I learned control was the surprising outcome when I let go. I don’t have a job after Dec, I don’t know if I will get into grad school for next fall, and I don’t know where I will end up, but it’s not up to me anymore. I waste so much energy and time worrying about controlling the future when I could use that time and energy to help people NOW! I’m slowly learning!
My friends too, kind of like you all said about your spouses- sometimes you just have to be a friend and not control their actions.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Adventures 2 weeks into Gluten Free and Life =-.
I must confess the thing I am desperately trying to control is my life. I do on occasion try to snatch it out of God’s Hand–sometimes I think my ways are better than His.
But I am learning (haven’t fully learned it yet) how to let go and let God. I say my life because that’s the umbrella of everything else.
Be blessed:)
.-= Michael Holmes´s last blog ..WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR CHURCH SUCKS? =-.
I am trying to control my life… It really is laughable to read that now. Logically, I know that I have no control over anything or anyone. I have let it all go and taken the steps to let him guide my way. I felt free and open to new experiences. Then I found myself right back where I was… trying to control my thoughts, feelings, children, marriage and job.
I am so stubborn that God gave me Kancer to get my attention. Yes, I try to control so much that I even named my cancer… Karen’s Kancer. I said it is mine I can call it whatever I want. It did get my attention. I did what I thought I was supposed to do. Once I became stronger and thought I could do it all by myself again. Why is that? How do I stop from slipping back to this out of control frustrating place from trying to control things? This circle needs to be broken again but this time permanently.
I think, It is because I pulled back into my little shell and thought I did not need anyone again. Community of open and honest friendships is what I need. I shall not Fear anymore! Who’s coming with me?
@Karen, I’m with you (and very proud of you by the way).
If that isn’t one of my biggest struggles-letting go! Letting go of all control in my life. Like Karen stated, we have no control over anything or situation. Only He should have control and only He does.
The worst thing about being controlling is that it’s the polar opposite of being like Jesus. The man didn’t even speak in his own defense!
.-= Ben´s last blog ..a new thing =-.
This summer I’ve been busy trying to control my getting a job. Turns out the only interview I landed was for a job I didn’t even apply for.
It was like God whispered, “I’ve got it all under control. Relax.”
P.S. A high school friend of mine just moved to Nashville and goes to your church. Fun little coincidence!
.-= Emily @ The Pilot’s Wife´s last blog ..Ducks in a Row =-.
My health. I was put down by a dog while riding my bicycle and have been in almost constant discomfort and pain for a month. I want answers and pain-free right now!
My first initial answer to your question was one word: Life.
.-= bill (cycleguy)´s last blog ..Almost…But =-.
For me it was trying to control my life using prescription drugs (even when I was a pastor) it NUMBED me and I truly felt I was in control. Man, was i wrong. Now i am out of control and loving every minute of it (well almost every minute of it)
.-= Randy Wood´s last blog ..WOW MOMENTS! =-.
Controlling everyone’s happiness…..if that makes sense. Sometimes I get so wrapped on what should make my family happy or feeling 100% responsible that I am driving them away.
I also get wrapped up in trying to control our family size (in the sense of getting desperate in wanting and trying for more children, rather than truly wanting and trusting what God has planned for our family and future children, if any)
.-= *~Michelle~*´s last blog ..Need Help/Advice =-.
I’ve released trying to control my…Future. Learning to be content with the purpose God has for me. Learning to be content in His promises. Learning to be silent and still in His will not my own. No longer living in the world of controlling and manipulating my own way…is freeing. I never realized how exhausting the illusion of control is…Good question.
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday (Almost) =-.
How much time do you have? My health would be one. I have Insulin Dependent Diabetes as does my youngest daughter. I also have chronic pain from Fibromyalgia. I would like to wake up in the morning not worrying about what bills to pay and which ones to put on hold. I worry about my daughter’s future and mine. The list goes on and on…there’s alot I don’t understand about my life and health.
First and foremost of late…. insecurities. I just need to let go and let God. Why is that so hard sometimes?
.-= Dory´s last blog ..Moving forward =-.
@Randy Wood, thanks for being so real bro. That takes a lot of guts.
This keeps popping up like weeds in my garden. I get one area handled and another one appears. Over the years I’ve released one thing after another, each time reminding myself that I really don’t have control over anything. And I believe it – for a while. Then the next weed pops up and I’m off trying to find solutions, formulating plans and manueuvering ways to make things happen.
Right now it’s all about finances. I have no control and yet I keep giving in to the delusion that I do. I need some serious knee time.
Very timely post, sir. Thank you.
.-= Pearl´s last blog ..What is God Preparing? =-.
A relationship I am in…I am finding, the more I let go…the less likely it is going to work out the way I wanted it to…thankfully, I believe the truth that I am loved by God and He is ALL that matters…and HE is the one in control…
Scriptures that have spoken to me the past few days…
Romans 5:8, Ephesians 1:5, 1 John 4:8, Romans 5:20, Ephesians 3:17-19 (My last blog was based on this one), and 1 John 4:10-11…
God is so good and so much more able to control out lives if we will get out of His way!
.-= Amber L´s last blog ..Roots =-.
love your heart dude… so much more could be said. great comments. you have some rad readers.
right now, i’m bent on wrestling to control my little kingdom. when i know that nothing good has ever really come from having my hands on the wheel… so enter Carrie Underwood hit single circa 2005.
I try desperately to control what others think of me and how I want to be perceived. It’s exhausting trying to be all things to all people…
@Sheri, I sure am glad I never struggle with that.
It is exhausting isn’t it?
.-= pete wilson´s last blog ..Fighting For Control =-.
I’m constantly trying to control the outcome — of everything. And it’s not mine to control. I’m desperately trying to remember do walk in obedience and leave the outcome to God.
I’m also trying to control the evils of comparison — because when I do I’m never smart enough, godly enough, snazzy enough, have enough insight, know enough, cute enough, skinny enough, young enough, old enough, educated enough, street-smart enough…. and on, ad nauseam.
I have to give up control of comparison and KNOW that I am who God created me to be — slightly frazzled, usually optimistic dreamer called to write and speak for the Kingdom!
.-= Mary´s last blog ..It’s not Pretty, it’s Politics =-.
Incredible, relavent post…it speaks to specific circumcstances in my life. Thanks Pete
My oldest son… I fear he’s making some very very bad choices. He is 18. I am terrified he’s using drugs, but can’t prove it.
Finances.
Me.
@Julie, I can’t imagine. Praying for you.
All the little details. The big stuff seems easier for me to release but it’s the little things for me that I get stuck trying to keep my greedy hands on and can’t seem to release back to God. Dang it. Stuff like lame conversations, time management, movies I want to see (that are unavailable here), what people think of us-like how we spend support money, what my groom is doing (when I should be worrying about how I spend my time), the dirt my dogs track into the house. All that to say I realize none of that crap even matters because when the day is done I know in my heart of heart I need to ask myself did I love God and did I love people…
.-= kristiapplesauce´s last blog ..36 =-.
I know this is an old post, but I felt compelled to share. I learned an important lesson about control about a year ago when my husband left me, which was definitely something I couldn’t control or keep him from doing. Since then, I’ve known that I can’t control what happens or what path my life takes, and every day has become a great adventure. I’ve actually been incredibly blessed in so many ways this past year because I finally just said, “Screw it! I’m giving it to you!”
The only problem area I’m really having is my finances. How do I give that to God? I can’t simply just stop paying my bills and say, “Oh, well, God will take care of that.” And I think it’s a little unrealistic to expect that I’m going to open my mailbox one day to a wad of cash. So I am working on figuring out how I give God control of my money in a meaningful way. I welcome any advice!
Struggling with loosing my marriage. As a husband, where do my responsibilities for working towards reconciliation end and letting it all go to God begin? Can those two coexist?