Comments on: My Nagging Narcissism

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:00:07 +0000

I just today had come to the conclusion that I was spending too much time going over a past conversation when it hit me- it’s not about me. I had to go to God and revamp my focus. Yuck! Thanks for this post and I would love to read the book! I love it when God backs up His words to me through a random blog reading!
Michelle´s last blog ..The People

By: Narcissism and Grace « Minnowspeaks Weblog

Narcissism and Grace « Minnowspeaks Weblog — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 10:29:26 +0000

[...] to ponder. Last week I was drawn to a post and comment on the Without Wax blog that lead to a second post, as well as a comment on Parchment and Pen. The comments on each of these blogs were critical and [...]

By: Becca Clark

Becca Clark — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:35:06 +0000

Hi Pete,

I appreciate your honesty as always on this blog. I would submit that the criticisms we take the hardest are the ones that some small part of us believes are true. I know how hard it is for me to take time away, treat myself or my family, relax, maybe even spend a little money. I feel guilty for not spending every waking moment in my church, and yet I know that unless I do, I’m a crummy pastor. Still, when people call me on it, or criticize it, it stings that much more precisely because I’m already a little sore about it.

And this reflection rings true for me too, in that same uncomfortable way. Because there is a part of me who likes to be liked–even loved–even adored, and I have to constantly battle that in my ministry and not make it about me and keep the focus on Jesus. I don’t know if it’s narcissism or people-pleasing or plain old pride, but it’s a bear, and to be criticized for that too? That’s tough.

You handled it well and didn’t let it get to you–much. But remember that at the end of the day, your harshest critic is not anyone who reads and comments on your blog. It’s probably you, and like any critic, he needs your love and forgiveness and prayers. Be gentle with yourself, and thank you again for you honest engagement in your ministry in all its ups and downs. Peace and renewal to you!

By: Penney Douglas

Penney Douglas — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 05:45:34 +0000

I just realized that a post I wrote on my blog last week might be relevant, too. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/penneyfromheaven/709821/

It’s called Am I a Mirror or a Sponge?

By: Penney Douglas

Penney Douglas — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 05:12:20 +0000

A great book by Bob Sorge that might help us to get a balanced perspective is Dealing With the Rejection and Praise of Man. A description: Rejection. Ugh! Many of us have been devoured by its ravages, and most of us have also given it out. Praise. Now there’s a happier word! But the sinister tentacles of man’s praise constantly seek to disqualify God’s servants from their highest inheritance. Rejection and Praise are like twin gullies that flank the narrow highway of holiness. Every step counts. For Jesus, man’s opinions were meaningless in light of the exuberant affection and passionate approval of His Father. Learn how to hold your heart before God in a way that pleases Him in the midst of both rejection and praise from people. Pages: 86

By: Jody

Jody — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:52:23 +0000

I want to publicly apologize to everyone for my previous comments on the last two posts of this blog. For some reason, Wednesday was a really bad day for me and I used this blog as an outlet for my anger. Maybe I need a break from Pete’s blog, LOL.

By: britt

britt — Sun, 26 Jul 2009 02:17:34 +0000

I’ve been going to Cross Point for a long time and have NEVER doubted your heart for Jesus. It’s obvious in everything you do. I appreciate your love of nature. I see it as just another way of praising God. I also know that your focus on your family is an inspiration for many.

Even when we’re doing what we think God wants us to …there are always those nagging negative thoughts that sneak up. When someone posts something so negative, it’s like they put a human voice to those thoughts but it doesn’t mean it’s true.

Keep following the path you’re on. I’m not saying we all don’t struggle with narcissism (heck, I’m in the music business) but allowing someone’s posting to upset you doesn’t sound like that. I think you handled it really well.

But I agree, for all the nice things people have said about my voice I can still remember “word for word” negative comments I got 25 years ago! ha. That’s when I try to give myself the “seek not the praise of men” talk.

By: Des

Des — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 23:12:59 +0000

I’m confused. Narcissism and wanting approval are two different things. Simplistically, one is active and the other passive. Narcissists believe that it’s all about them, but what I see in you causes me to believe that you genuinely care about the people around you and would be willing to sacrifice for them.

Wanting approval or people pleasing is totally different! I believe that this might be where you are given your description of the criticism. Check out Joyce Meyer’s Approval Addiction or How We Love. Hope this helps.

By: Kristie

Kristie — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 20:56:03 +0000

Hey Pete –
I haven’t checked your blog in months, and just opened it today to have your words hit me square between the eyes….
Thanks for your open honesty.

By: Minnow

Minnow — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 06:55:59 +0000

Pete–It’s pretty impressive (and obvious) you have a fairly large support team! I’m sure JQP is not your only critic. I have to say that when I read his comment yesterday on your blog I was struck more by how sad he seemed and alone and hurting then anything else. I’ve been asking myself for a day now how I could pray for him so that my prayers might make a difference. You responded well to his initial comment and even in this post, while many of your fans have continued to rally around you, you seemed to be willing to learn what God has for you to learn about how you felt, how you responded, and the less attractive parts of your character. God is good that way. You are probably already the type to “pray for your enemies” so I’m guessing you’ve got JQP’s back already. It seems from some of the comments this isn’t a first time with him. Not sure I know really what I’m trying to say…only that I often leave this site with plenty to think about, so thanks. JQP–may God keep you and grant you peace in this day, a peace that surpasses your understanding and begins to speak to you about how incredibly you are loved by Him who loves us all, even in the middle of our sin. Have a blessed day, Minnow