So, yesterday I received one of those nasty (at least in my opinion) comments on the blog. Criticism is nothing new in my life. I’ve been in ministry since I was 18 years old and it’s kind of always been around.
Over the years people have publicly applauded how I’ve handled it, but to be honest it’s all been a fraud. While externally I learned to finesse my way around it, internally I would obsess about my critics.
Why? Because I’m narcissistic. I’m obsessed with myself.
Why do I focus on the one negative comment?
Why do I work so hard to formulate a response proving I’m right?
Why do I go to great lengths to gain the critics approval?
Because I’m soft-hearted? Because I care about others so much?
Nope.
Because I’m Narcissistic.
The problem is not the critics. Critics do what critics do. The problem is I’m absorbed with myself and wanting others to applaud me and approve of me.
That’s the ugly truth. And to make matters worse this narcissism which so many of us possess keeps me from experiencing all God has planned for me.
I’ve been reading an incredible book entitled “The Shattered Lantern” by Ronald Rolheiser and he gave this great example of how this happens in our life.
“Imagine taking a walk in a beautiful forest on a splendid summer’s day. The earth is ablaze with the fire of God and the sights, sounds and smells are enough to make you want to take your shoes off before the burning bush. But if your mind and heart are hopelessly torn, and if, for example, you are painfully infatuated with someone who has just rejected you, you will see virtually nothing on this walk-not just of beauty and creation, but nothing at all. You are inside yourself, torn by your pain, endlessly reviewing past and future conversations, possibilities, and fantasies. For all you are actually seeing, hearing, or smelling of beauty and nature, you could just as profitably be walking in a parking lot or a rubbish dump. You are locked in an inner world whose obsessive reality absorbs all your awareness.
I’m tired of walking in the parking lot. I want to experience the fullness of God!
How about you?
Hey, Pete!
Not sure who said what yesterday, but know that your blog’s always encouraged me, man…and the level of honesty you show in THIS post is something we need more of within the body of Christ.
May He grant you the desire of your heart, brother, as you continue to pursue Him!
Joe
Isn’t it human nature to think only about ourselves and inward stuff? Or maybe society has told us that’s the way it should be? Just walk into the “self-help” section at any bookstore and you will be amazed with how many topics authors have come up with to basically “put up with” the negative in the world. Sometimes I want to move a Bible into that section
I’ve read some of those books so I can’t say much, but we as a society are infatuated with making ourselves better and making everyone like us. That quote really hit home so thanks for sharing Pete! I’m cool with having a preacher that’s also sometimes narcissistic as long as you are aware of it! It’s better to be narcissistic and know it than to not know (I’ve met many people that don’t realize they are narcissistic and wow that’s uncomfortable!)
I agree with what you’re saying, but I also think it proves how powerful our words are when we speak (or type) them.
I’m sure that if someone spoke correction to you in the right spirit and motivation of LOVE (and NOT to give you a a piece of their mind)you would receive it. And it wouldn’t be as harmful or cause you to obsess.
I think often our responses to criticism are a reaction to the spirit in which it is given.
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Pete thank you for your honesty. I think that pride is something we all deal with. The first step toward experiencing the fullness of God is probably admitting to ourselves that we care about ourselves too much and God not enough.
Pete I too am a Narcissist. I desire God to rid me of this but a lot of the times not enough.
I am thankful for your blog where you really have built and online community as much as one can.
Humbleness is a funny idea. Once we think we have it we have lost it. I wouldn’t drive yourself too crazy and just keeping resetting your compass back toward Christ and the wonderful life He is allowing you to live.
one word – honest. thats what we all need. to be honest about ourselves and reveal the nasty truths.
To bad I’m in the same place. lets get out of it!
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REALLY needed that quote this week. It puts much in perspective- I think what makes it so much of a struggle though, is when I do try to enjoy life outside of myself and my struggles, those “struggles” or people involved, require that I focus hard on them or pull me back in. It’s hard to see the beauty and perfection in life in it’s simplest, most natural form, when you feel responsible and required to build up this life of figures, dollar amounts, and relationships.
i want to move to mexico.
Pete, although we have only met in person a couple of times, and I can’t possibly really KNOW you, I have a real sense that the words (and pics) that you put on this blog are the real you. I never see narcissist. I see leader, I see pastor, I see father, I see friend, I see son, I see husband, I see sold-out 100% full-court follower of Jesus Christ.
Jesus rested, Jesus retreated, Jesus got away, and God bless you friend for caring enough about those you lead to do the same. I would not want Kelsey to have a pastor that never took a break. All of us, even mr. public, needs a break, to refuel, to energize and to reflect. I am sorry for whatever his pain must be.
You keep it up. Everything I hear about you and your church and your city point heavenward, and I am so thankful to have a seat to watch what unfolds next.
And hey, one of my other daughters is in Nashville today interviewing with several firms for a chance to move there too. Maybe a prayer lifted up from my only pastor friend in Nashville would help! That is…if you can get outside yourself…
lol.
@Woody, I’ll pray for her right now. Eventually we’ll get your whole family out here.
@Sherri, You’re so right. Relationship equals influence. I have friends who speak difficult truth into my life on a regular basis. While it may sting a little I trust them and feel more open and free to receive the truth.
Dude, I know you have the capabilities to not show John Q. Coward’s comments. Kudos on you, for showing the courage to not be afraid to post his rants. On an average, 3/100 critics is pretty good, man.
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Quick question: Did Paul ever write any of his letters anonymously?
Jody’s last blog post..Will the real slim shady please cast the first stone?
a ‘seeking heart He never denies’ takes me further and further on and in….
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@Jody – Hey, that was my nickname for the longest time. Awesome dude.
Now to your question, although my answer is just for fun, so please don’t be offended:
“If he did, how would we know?”
That said, I don’t think we can be absolutely sure of things like that.
I know what you mean definitely. I fight the same crap as a pastor (and just a person). I feel I’m getting better but it’s a long road. I live in Juneau, AK and the scenery is beautiful, but sometimes I go weeks without even recognizing the beauty that’s all around me- mountains, rivers, etc. I think you’re totally right- great post.
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So weird how many of us are wired in that same way. I see it daily with the ministries and authors I work with as well as in my own personal life. “People pleasing.” Hundreds of positive comments and praise can come in but that one that blasts of negativity is the one that seems to latch on and penetrate the skin (or at least sting a little). Some of those comments are blatant attacks that carry no useful impact but there are others that have an element of truth that I think we want to control. Tears us up to miss connecting with someone, not to mention our internal desires to always be “right” and get someone to buy in to our perspective or world-view on a topic. We get in our own way so much. Thank God for grace.
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Alas, this is true of me too … but after much practice, I realize that when we truly walk with the purpose of glorifying God and not ourselves, we can accept criticism without obsessing over it. Takes lots and lots and lots of practice and prayer, and it’s definitely an ongoing effort!
Pete! I so needed this today! Some of these thoughts about being self absorbed and the such have been on my mind a lot lately! In our world it is so hard not to be because if we aren’t self absorbed and we actually give the way God wants is to, we are giving giving giving withouy getting anything in return. Or at least in most cases we don’t get anything in return. It becomes important to have a God to use to fill up our tanks so we can live like he wants us to…AND the community we surround ourselves with us important as well. We have to encourage one another, build each other up so that we can stay positive and relevant to a world in need!
Heck yeah, I’m a narcissist, too. Otherwise, I would post as Anonymous and I’d have an ambiguous blog and I’d tweet as someone else and I’d write a book under a pen name.
However.
God called me to be who I am and I’ve FINALLY, after almost 50 years of life, begun to accept that.
You handled yesterday’s criticism well, even when your heart hurt and your mind was in turmoil.
My only issue is… why do people give Christmas gifts like that to the pastor and not to the support staff (like Communications Directors, etc)… just sayin’
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*sigh*
PeteWilson,
I’ve spent most of my adult life walking in a parking lot missing out what God had planned for me. I refused to see anything of worth in my life, and I missed out on so much!!
I’d love to be able to tell you that I’ve been set free from it and am now walking in the forest, but the reality is that one negative comment in my general direction can cause me to head on back to that parking lot quickly!
Unfortunately, it seems to be my own thoughts and comments about myself that send me back there faster than anything anyone else can say.
I am extremely blessed to have an amazing small group leader with more insight and annointing than anyone I’ve ever encountered before. We’ve been systematically going through the book of Hebrews in one setting(and the book of Revelation in another) and I’d like to leave you with something that has become a source of great comfort for me lately. “For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified.” Heb 10:14 NASB You are able to stand in the presence of God because Christ has (already) made you perfect. If Christ has already made you perfect in the eyes of God, what real difference does it make what man thinks about you? If God delights in you, does anything else really matter? If He spoke the world into existence with a word, can you imagine the power of Him singing over you?
Great timing on this post, that’s all I can say. I Definitely needed that quote from the book.
Calling it narcissism is going a mile or so too far, Pete. That would mean you had such total self-love that you shut everyone else out and were motivated only by that self-love. I don’t see that in you. Your heart is in the right place and you seem to be motivated by a love of God and a desire to love and help others.
I think you should stop worrying about being self-centered, unless it is affecting the way you treat other people. Sure, always work on improving yourself when you see flaws, but don’t be so hard on yourself while you’re doing the work. It’s not like you are trampling over your family and co-workers to get your name in lights. You’re just doing the best job you know how to do, and I don’t know why you should feel guilty about enjoying your success.
Take a deep breath and a step back.
So maybe you enjoy admiration and approval and find that you are disappointed when everyone doesn’t love everything about you. That just seems kind of normal to me. Those who are truly selfless stand out because they are abnormal in not having that need. Mother Teresa, for example, stands out as someone who was truly selfless. She didn’t care about admiration or the approval of anyone but God. And the reason we all know her name is because she was unique that way.
Weirdly, there’s an entire paragraph in that above comment that I thought I edited out. lol, oh well.
If we all take time to be honest, we are all narcissistic from time-to-time. That’s the sin nature that we all strive against.
Criticism has a way of making us re-evaluate ourselves. 100 compliments don’t usually cause us to ask the question, “Am I really that good?” We just naturally agree with those compliments and our balloon fills with more air.
1 criticism has a way of popping that bubble and letting all that air out.
Pete, you point out something very important here. If we are buoyed by our own hot air, we are in danger of crashing when the pin pricks. If however, we are held by Christ, there is a barrier that the pins can’t penetrate.
I am not there yet. There is still too much of my own hot air. By the grace of God, I hope to trust Him more and more each day so that I can rest more in Him and less in myself.
On my cube wall hangs this message from an African Pastor: (I still struggle with paragraph 3).
I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made – I’m a disciple of His. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean in His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer, and I labor with power.
My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions are few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the enemy, pander at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.
I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till he stops me. And, when he comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me…. my banner will be clear!
OOPs… I meant I still struggle with paragraph 2.
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Hi Pete. I can only hope that John Q. Public takes the opportunity to read comments concerning his comment. Pete, those of us that have known you through the years are 110% certain John Q. Public doesn’t know you and hasn’t had the opportunity to understand the life of Jesus Himself enough to realize, 1) you have given your whole being to the mission of Christ by planting and leading biblical church, 2) Jesus Himself made time for sabbatical moments. That’s right, Jesus came here in human form and took time to remove Himself from the rigors of ministry (and the people He died for) so that He could effectively complete His mission. If a person will simply check out Jesus’ life (as seen in the Bible) he/she will find multiple times that Jesus tried to or did make His way to “a solitary place.” We also see Him with His back to multitudes of people walking away from or getting on a boat to get away from the crowds to be with His disciples (His closest friends). And you’ll oftentimes find Jesus around a campfire. Would Jesus have gone fishing out west? Don’t know. He chose to come to planet earth at a time when there were no airplanes. Travel was always a good long walk. But it is obvious that He did try by foot and by boat to find times of retreat. Pete, it’s vital that you remember that you are only human, given a human body just like Jesus (well, Jesus was probably in better shape than you are) and that that body does need times of refreshing? Why? So you can effectively finish the mission God has given you. Fish, play cards, spend time with your wonderful family, hang out with your buds, sleep as much and as late as you want, eat at the best restaurants you can afford, read something other than stuff related to ministry, relax. Not because you deserve it, because the Kingdom needs your best for a long time to come! My guess is that John Q. Public has never been a pastor so he doesn’t understand your lifestyle and how much you give and have given. Not only that, I would suggest than anyone who uses the timbre of John Q. Public and remains anonymous may not be the voice of reason or biblical relationship (Matt. 18:15 – 17)). Enjoy my friend. You’ll be better for all of us because you have.
P.S. I noticed that John Q has made no comment to this blog, a blog in which you graciously reveal your short-comings. It would be refreshing to hear a comment from she/he bathed in the humility of your own.
Know that you’re not alone. Man, if I could only stop thinking about me. I asked a friend one time as we left a meeting if he thought people thought what I’d said in the meeting was stupid. He said, “They’re not thinking about you. They’re too busy wondering what everyone thought about them.”
p.s…. You know you’re making an impact when people who have publicly dicounted you continue to follow you. Take it as a compliment.
It takes an exorbitant amount of energy to try to control another person’s opinion, and shape shifting to do it is detrimental to the soul.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I appreciate that your humility goes beyond the traditional leader’s comment of “I sin, too.” Peeling the layers in front of the world requires courage. Most of us won’t go there.
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Good word, Pete. Thanks for being so honest. It’s incredibly refreshing. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who struggles with the idolatry of acceptance. No matter how much I say “I don’t care what others think”, it’s not as true as I want it to be.
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Great post, Pete! I always try to find the “nugget” of constructive feedback that is buried (sometimes deeply buried) in criticism. But it’s never easy or fun, especially when it’s obvious that the criticism was intended to sting. It seems like I usually end up learning more about my critic and their expectations and background than I do about whatever point they were trying to make.
@Tony York
Can I get a starting point on where to find that message? Or, at the very least a place to credit it when I print it out and post it on every wall in my home, office, and maybe even on the dashboard of my car?
Ah Pete, one day you’re fly fishing, having the time of your life. The next, you’re a complete self-doubting narcissist, trying to figure out if your vacation really is defensible.
Just goes to show, you should never go on vacation! Ministry is supposed to be miserable, and all about pleasing people, everyone knows that! I’m glad God could show this to you at just the opportune time.
@Melish,
I originally read it in a Masterlife workbook. The credit is only to “An African Pastor.”
If you google “I’m part of the fellowship of”, you will find lots of links to it. Its a powerful decree.
Well my friend, I really don’t know what to say. I have seen the qualities in your life that you so honestly mentioned. I, of course, was unable to see the wheels turning in your head as you processed those critics.
I hate to tell you this but keep digging. There is more there that God wants out of your life; not just for your sake but for all who are encouraged by your self/God analysis. Also, do not obsess over what God reveals. Whatever it is has been there for some time and God has always known about it and loved you and used you in spite of it.
This is not about making you or us better. It is about getting one step closer to our creator and allowing Him to make us better.
Honored to call your friend.
Harold’s last blog post..The Difference between hard and easy!
@Tony York
Thanks!
I needed to read this today, thanks.
Some questions:
1. Why is a comment that seems critical necessarily bad? If it’s honest criticism it seems to me that it should be more welcome than all the enabling comments of the people rushing to defend the blog owner.
2. Why is is that commenters on this blog feel the need to rush to PW’s defense every time someone says something that is potentially critical? I’m not advocating criticism without a point, but sometimes criticism can illuminate blind spots that either haven’t been seen or have been ignored. Again, all the enabling defense of people who demonstrate sycophantic behavior is far more damaging than someone who criticizes.
3. Why is it necessary for someone to give his or her true identity if they criticize? So the masses can google them and tear them apart in the comments? Pass…I see why John Q. doesn’t put his real name.
Hi Pete,
This is my first time commenting, as I started reading your blog (and Brandi’s) during your India trip. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that you are in no way a narcissist (at least that’s not how I perceive you to be from reading your thoughts)….narcissism, in my opinion, is a pychological illness that one possesses. I do think all of us humans have a tendancy to be self-centered at times, though, and that’s just our nature. And of course, worrying about what others think is a battle we probably all face.
Anyhow, I appreciate your honesty, and I really do learn a lot from reading your words! You are a good person who has a lot to offer the world.
By the way, I have 2 boys that love to go camping with their dad. I told my husband that I wanted him to check out your pictures from Burgess Falls. That seems like a beautiful place. Although, I’m not sure how far away it is from the Cle., Ohio area!
Take care,
Stacy
I read the comment and my heart broke. There is no love, but a lot of anger. Praying for you John Q. Don’t let the enemy use you as his mouthpiece. There no reason to tear down, we are to encourage one another (even with rebuke you can build up).
Pete, if you ever stop posting those type of pics, I’ll have to stop reading. I need to see, I need to be reminded to slow down and enjoy the beauty & gifts God’s given in the friends He’s given and spending time with them, in enjoying how in intricately detailed His creation. Thank you, for reminding me that I am bringing Christ with me where ever I go, and to let His love bath others through me yielding to His will.
That’s what I get when I visit here. When I read what you write and how most everyone responds. There’s a lot of love here, and you’ve been the first one to bring it. Keep on bringing it the same way you have. It’s God’s ministering to us through you.
You are in our prayers, Pete. Thanks for blessing us and reminding us we’re children of the King.
Sorry for the typos in my last post.
It has been my experience that our harshest critics are those who see something of themselves in their intended victim, and rather than take time for some honest self-evaulation, it’s much easier to lash out at someone else – especially someone in the public eye.
On the up side, sometimes some of our biggest critics initially can be our strongest cheerleaders and defenders in the long run. Do you know who I’m talking about? Hmmmmm????
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@TheTruth
1. a. Honest criticism doesn’t need to hide behind a fake persona. The mere fact that JQP deemed it necessary to hide his true identity makes the criticism suspect. b. Scripture tells us that when we have an issue with a fellow believer we are to go to that believer in private first. At no point does scripture tell us that we are allowed to publicly criticize. Further, any criticism, if it is biblical, should be done in love.
2. If valid criticism is ever displayed on this blog, I will be the first to support the criticizer. However, in my opinion, the criticism I have seen on this blog has not been valid. I choose to encourage PeteWilson because he has encouraged me, either directly or indirectly, and not for any other reason.
3. I think I’ve already addressed this.
Paul taught us to go where the people are. I applaud PeteWilson, and all of the Cross Point pastors, wives, staff, and members who are not ashamed to post their every day lives and thoughts on blogs and yes, even on twitter. I have been inspired in more than a few ways by the transparency of this group of believers. The willingness to be open and honest with the entire internet, regardless of recurring criticism, is humbling.
I’m very sorry that JQP doesn’t understand why a believer needs to be refreshed in his walk with the Lord. I am very sorry that he doesn’t see what I see in THIS pastor: A humble, honest, encouraging, real lover of Christ and a willingness to follow Him by bringing the gospel to those who would not otherwise hear it; even if they are people on the internet.
Service and witnessing done in the United States through modern technology is NOT less biblical or Christ-like than service and witnessing done in India or Africa.
@The Truth,
You present some important thoughts.
Criticism given in a constructive manner is loving and necessary where it is backed by truth.
Accusations based on opinions are more of the destructive manner of criticism. The person in question wished to use the bible to criticize Pete on a personal level, yet used a public forum to do so. The bible teaches that if we have something against a brother that we should go and talk to that brother.
If John Q had posed his comment in a question form that could have lead to some honest discussion, it would have been much better received. Some operations require more finesse than blunt trauma.
As far as those rallying around Pete, part of that is human nature and part of that is because many of these people know Pete personally and have seen where his heart is. Does that make Pete perfect? No. And he has shown his heart here by providing a forum that shows his ability to be transparent…and to learn and grow from it.
I am glad you raised these questions as they should help each of us think about how we respond to each other.
Tony York’s last blog post..Meeting the Happy Neighbors
Reading this was like holding my breath, coming back up for the first breath. THANK YOU! Working on this myself. It’s hard.
I made a post including you and the passage. Let me know if problem (if interested, you can scroll down and glance at all my narcisstic posts :0):
http://roxannekristina.blogspot.com/search/label/Narcissism
Blessings,
Roxx
Galatian 5:15 – Thou shalt not have Pastor Pete for dinner (um, cannibal-wise, you know?)…”If you keep on biting and devouring each other.you will be destroyed by each other”
You know it’s just golden rule stuff…but here are the One Anothers from scripture that seem to ask, how can I love you best – even if I have something hard to say to you, how can I share it in love?
And btw Pete, that’s my beat up, rusted out Pontiac over there in the parking lot with you
But enough about me…
“Be at peace with each other” (Mk. 9:50)
“Wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14)
“Love one another” (John 13:34, & 12 other references)
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (Rom. 12:10)
“Honor one another above yourselves” (Rom. 12:10)
“Live in harmony with one another” (Rom. 12:10)
“Stop passing judgment on one another” (Rom. 14:13)
“Instruct one another” (Rom. 15:14)
“Accept one another, as Christ accepted you” (Rom. 15:17)
“Greet one another with a holy kiss” (Rom. 16:16, 1 Cor. 6:20 and 2 Cor. 13:12)
“When you come together to eat, wait for each other” (1 Cor. 11:33)
“Have equal concern for each other” (1 Cor. 12:25)
“Serve one another in love” (Gal. 5:13)
“If you keep on biting and devouring each other.you will be destroyed by each other” (Gal. 5:15)
“Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other” (Gal. 5:26)
“Carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2)
“Be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Eph. 4:2)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another” (Eph. 4:32)
“Forgiving each other as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32)
“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19)
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph.5:21)
“In humility, consider others better than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3)
“Do not lie to each other” (Col. 3:9)
“Bear with each other” (Col. 3:13)
“Forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another” (Col. 3:16)
“Teach one another” (Col. 3:16)
“Admonish one another” (Col. 3:16)
“Make your love increase and overflow for each other” (1 Thess. 3:12)
“Encourage one another” (1 Thess. 4:18, and 5:11)
“Build each other up” (1 Thess. 5:11)
“Encourage one another daily” (Heb. 3:13 and 10:25)
“Spur one another on to love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24)
“Do not slander one another” (Js. 4:11)
“Don’t grumble against each other” (Js. 5:9)
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (Js. 5:16)
“Love one another deeply from the heart” (1 Pet. 1:22 & 4:8)
“Live in harmony with each other” (1 Pet. 3:8)
“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1Pet. 4:9)
“Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others” (1 Pet. 4:10)
“Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another” (1 Pet. 5:5)
“Greet each other with a kiss of love” (1 Pet. 5:14)
Pete, I try to catch up once a week or two on your blog just to keep a perspective on another pastor’s family trying to walk out their faith as they serve. I have been feeling guilty for my husband to take a week off from the church next week but he desperately needs to be rejuvenated. The calling on his and your life is not easy and refocusing is a must to keep going in the battle. When I read yesterday’s post I literally took a deep breath and thanked God for the opportunity He has provided us. Then I read the comments to see where people said they hear from God. When I got to the comment that said Table Rock Lake near Branson (where we are headed) I again felt God saying that He desired to speak to us and take us somewhere so we could hear His voice clearly without all the other voices we hear. We needed this time with Him and I was not being grateful for the gift He had given us.
All that to say, I am sorry for the ungracious comment you received and I wanted to reassure you that God used your words for good, at least in my life.
Pete: yes I am narcissistic. Aren’t we all? Does not the Bible say that Jesus came to die for us when we were ungodly? I live for myself way too much. I focus on what is best for bill way too much. I echo Paul’s words in Romans 7: those things I don’t want to do i do and those I do want to do I don’t. My “self” will always be a battle for me but i also know I am forgiven and covered by the blood of Jesus.
bill (cycleguy)’s last blog post..The “When” and the “Why”
I’m right there with you!!! Especially being in a creative field, it’s terribly difficult to not take things so personally and internalize them. But I love that theology you shared!! I am in the midst of doing the Prayer of Jabez once again and am working through similar thoughts and growth. Exposing one self to growth in order to expand God’s glory. Oh so painfully difficult to do – and our critics will attempt to tear us away every chance they get – sad part is, most of them don’t even realize that they are the critics. (myself included, sometimes)
Dear Pete,
On one of your last sermons before you took your “time out”, you explained to your congregation that you had decided to take a few weeks away from the pulpit in an attempt to reconnect with God and allow Him to work in you, so that you can keep being real and your messages emanate directly from your heart and your walk with the Lord.
Whether I believe the issues this person raised on his/her comment are true or not in your life, is none of my business, for God is our only judge and those who know you well and whom you are accountable to will surely keep a check on you and rebuke you when necessary.
However, I believe that something which the enemy meant for harm, to kill and destroy your witness, God has ultimately used to grow you, polish and refine your character.
I am only going by what you declare about your own self: “Because I’m narcissistic. I’m obsessed with myself”.
You longed for God to continue to do a work in you during this time away from the ministry and I believe God as a loving Father will use an opportunity like this, which was meant to hurt, to actually help you to become more like Christ. Would you have ever been so bold, courageous and honest as to admit publicly that you consider yourself to be narcissistic and someone who needs to feel liked and loved by everybody, had you not been hurt by this person’s comment? Probably not.
The great thing is that whilst this person or the spirit working in and through him/her meant to tear you down, God in His grace, mercy and sheer love for you, by his Holy Spirit, has been able to do a work in you whilst all the hurt has gone on, a work of self-examination and of humility and the result of that will always be a layer of self which is taken off to reveal more of Christ in you. That is the best thing that can happen to any of us, but it is also one of the most painful processes to go through.
Also, by publicly admitting your shortcomings (and this is a big one for many pastors, some of whom never admit to it and it costs them dearly), you immediately make yourself accountable to others and place a heavy responsibility on yourself to see through the change in your character which your heart is craving for. The Holy Spirit will see to it that that work which has been started in you is finished. And your bold step of admitting to such a big thing as being narcissistic and self-centered is part of the wonderful but utterly painful process of becoming more Christ-like.
I want to encourage you in that, keep being real, keep making yourself accountable, never retaliate, turn the other cheek, face hate with more love and eventually the spirit that is trying to destroy what God has called you to do, will flee and bother someone else.
I said to you recently that I believe God has a high calling on you and when I say that, I do not mean one of this tele-evangelists or pastors on a big stadium being acclaimed and adored by the audience. I am talking about your ability to connect with all kinds of people, with all kinds of needs. You have a special way with people which opens the door to the love of Christ walking into people’s lives who are hurting and desperate to find that something to fill the gap. That is the highest calling anyone following Christ can have and because of it, as I have mentioned to you before, you will be the subject of slander, persecution, criticism (as someone said, do not discard all criticism, for great gems may result from it).
Remember the Apostle Paul’s words reminding us to rejoice when we are subjected to all sorts of attack, for it is in that that we know we are fighting in the right side, for the right victory.
Finally, do not hate yourself for being narcissistic or whatever, for we all, like the Apostle Paul, have a thorn in our flesh, which will always remain the subject of our struggles to overcome, but at the same time it’s thanks to those thorns or shortcomings that we can keep the right perspective and humility to love God above all else and others as ourselves.
Often when things are said about us and they hurt is because they reveal something in us which we do not like to see (in this case your need for approval from others). But think that if you never hurt, you would be perfect and God would not need to work in you, to encourage you. I believe that in this day and age for a Christian to go through what you just did by receiving a comment like that is the best thing that could happen to you, not because the content is true (which only you know the answer to that), but because it opens up something in you which allows the Holy Spirit to work through, which would otherwise have remained closed and hidden.
Thank you so much for always allowing my comments. That alone shows a great maturity and vulnerability at the same time. I don’t know you personally and I certainly don’t know whether you truly are narcissistic or not, but what I can say is that I recognise the process you are going through and the amazing opportunity God is placing in front of you to turn something very hurtful into a springboard to take you into the next challenge in your journey into the heart of God. At some point, though, you may be faced with a big question: Is my paramount and top goal to bring praise and glory to God or to myself? The answer to that question may or may not give your life a 360 degree turn.
My prayers are with you.
ransom33 (by the way, my anonymity is not because I am trying to hide who I am for fear of a reaction, but because I want my writings and my blog to have Jesus Christ at its center and not myself. I, too was a people-pleaser and God did a very, very painful work in me to do everything as onto the Lord and not every one else. There is more work to be done, but at least the process has started)
Pete, you know who I am anyway.
I wish you all the best.
In my journal this morning I was wrestling with this very issue after reading about Samson in Judges 14. I was reminded of how self-centered I am and how that affects so many of my choices. I’ll check out the book cause I need to get out of the parking lot too!
A lot of discussion about a Denzel Washington movie going on the past 2 days.
I’m not sure if what I’m about to write has been mentioned or not, so forgive me if somebody else has already made this point.
I just read Johnny Q. Public’s comment from yesterday.
I’d just like to say that, what Johnny wrote was not “criticism.” Not in the least. True criticism is presented with professionalism, constructiveness, and at least a little grace. And most importantly, TRUE criticism never crosses the line from critiquing one’s deed or actions or art to critiquing somebody personally. Never.
Johnny’s comment was an outright attack on you, Pete. It was personal, and not meant to “teach” or “help” you in anyway. It was meant to harm and undermine your personal character.
I’m pretty sure that, if any of us received a message like that (and I certainly have on several occasions), it would be very difficult not to consume about it to some degree. I mean, who has the time to put that much time and energy into being mean?! I guess what I’m trying to say, Pete, is that your response to Johnny’s comment doesn’t make you a narcissist; I think it just means you’re human.
Now, I’m not saying you’re not a narcissist. You might be.
But NOT for becoming angered or frustrated at that comment. God knows I’m consume with “me” sometimes.
But that comment was written out of anger and jealousy, and not for your good, the church’s good, or the good of the gospel.
I think if the truth was known, Johnny’s the narcissist.
For what it’s worth, I love you, Pete Wilson. You’ve shown me the Gospel of Christ on many occasions, and I am thankful to call you my friend/pastor.
(Sorry. Couldn’t resist the cheesy/mushy conclusion.)
I just got blasted myself last week … and of course it was right after I had written about criticism as well. I was so frustrated with myself for letting it get to me so deeply. I knew the root was the people pleasing side of me … again with the narcissism … that couldn’t let it go. I actually thought of you and how you handle things. So I really appreciate your authenticity here! So … thanks!
@Becky
Rest assured, my sister, God has most definitely not forgotten about you. Zeph 3:17 says: “The Lord your God is in your midst, A victorious warrior. He will exault over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.” Can you imagine? God is standing over you right now shouting with JOY!
I know how it can sometimes feel like you are completely and utterly alone. I do. And I also know how sometimes empty it can feel when people tell you that you are not alone. All I can do is remind you that you are not alone.
Maybe God can use this song to speak to you as He used it to speak to me not long ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F29-AYDmSnI
Please hold on to God’s promises, sweet sister. He is faithful.
Thanks for this post, really like when people “come out” and are real even if it’s an ugly truth.
Pete,
Wow. That’s all I can say without diving into my own narcisstic desire to write something impressive and cool. And I’m not even responding to a critic.
Thanks for the ‘focus’ reminder.
Well, since everthing that could be said was pretty much said, all that is left I guess is….
TEAM PETE!
I’ve considered the narcissism explanation in my own life and I’m sure there’s some of that there. But what I feel more is just beat down at times and extremely saddened by the words and actions of Christians. I think what burdens me is how we can attend the same church, talk about how much we love God, raise our hands in worship and be so diametrically opposed, even to the extent of not seeing anything wrong with the way in which the tongue will be used against another believer. I’m not new to the faith; born and raised in the church and have seen a lot, but I want to bad to see the best for God’s church that it really crushes me at times how we will treat one another. I periodically get to places in which I just totally surrender (which is where I should be living) and just say, “God, you’ve got to do this. I’m out of ideas, suggestions, answers. I give!” Then, like an addict, I get over the hump and pull myself back into the ring for more. I’ve decided in the last few days that the only thing that keeps me going is my love for Christ. If it weren’t for that, I’d say to heck with it. I think anyone with a heart can’t help but be hurt and grieved at times. It doesn’t mean you’re a narcissist, it just means you’re flesh and bones and have feelings.
I think about the following verse (1 Corinthians 4) a lot, praying that I’d really believe that God has already accepted me and find my identity in Him and experience the richness He intends us to live:
“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.”
I fully understand this feeling. I never really thought of it that way, as being narcissism, but after having been married to someone with much of the same personality traits as I have/had, I realized how detrimental it could be to others. It ended our marriage. It almost convinced me to end my life. Nowadays I’m constantly having to tell myself that it’s NOT all about me, and truthfully, while looking outward, I can start to let go of the worries with which I saddled myself.
Thanks for the definition for the demon I’ve been battling. It’ll help to focus on what I need to work on in the future.
Great post for ALL of us, Pete! After you finish TSL check out ‘Holy Longing’…Rolheiser challenged my soul deeply in both.
Yep, me to Pete. I am in the mess I am in because of that. I became (and still struggle with) an attitude of “the world owes me”. In other words I sucked and still battle being that way. At this point in my life I must focus on my family more than ever, and even in that I have to battle not being the center of attention. Pete, we love yall in Arkansas! Thanks for all that yall do!
I think a lot said it better than me…but I still have to say you are not alone.
Be blessed
@Shana, thanks for your honesty and I’ll be praying for you as we battle it together.
I also wanted to thank all of you for your kind words. While that was not the point of the post I appreciate your kind words.
Becky, God has not forgotten you. He loves you and you have found a great place to get support and love here. I am sorry that you have had so much trauma in your life, but I have full confidence He will bring you through stronger and you will find peace.
The Truth,
Discipline without love breeds rebellion. Jesus wouldn’t lurk in someone’s blog and look to find fault. It’s not who He is. Why do I defend Pete? Because the heart of the man who has reached out to help me find spiritual balance and has been more than honest, is what I see and it’s not maybe the best way to go about it, but I’ve never responded to John Q before today. However, enough is enough. Maybe I was Peter and acting rashly and without forethought (anger is an issue for me), but I don’t think my anger was unjustified. I think my response might have been.
Oh excellent post and oh so true
That sounds like an interesting book. I can relate to the scenario in that quote. It’s so true… no matter how amazingly beautiful your surroundings may be, if you are in pain and your heart is breaking, that will be the only thing on your mind, and you’ll miss the beauty.
Just want to add… I love coming here to read your daily posts. The love of Jesus clearly shines through you! I’m often blessed and sometimes challenged. Keep doing what you’re doing.
Someone may have said this already??? I didn’t have time to read all the other comments…I used my allotted “blogging time” looking for THE comment because I am not a Narcissist but I am way to curious! Anyway….if someone writes you a letter and doesn’t sign their name…you shouldn’t read it. Well the same is true for someone who writes on your blog. That is cowardly!!
Pete,
I’m the same way with critics. I’ve been able to finagle my way out of looking selfish many times, but lost sleep that night over a simple comment.
Narcissism is a strong word though. A narcissist wouldn’t be capable of what you’ve done Pete. The outreach you’ve done, the visions you’ve cast, the change you’ve led- all of which are possible only for someone who has a heart for God.
We all struggle with self-interest and self-absorption, but it doesn’t necessarily make us narcissistic, at least in my opinion. and I HAVE taken a few psychology classes…
Keep up the great work. If everyone likes you, then you’re obviously doing something wrong. You’ve got it going on!
J
btw- you might like my latest blog about organization,
http://theriverjordan.net/theres-power-in-the-list
Pete, I agree with mpt…it’s “johnny” who’s the narcissist…
You’re doing good things…keep it up.
Robin
i think we are all this way. the negative comments always seem to outweigh the good in our own minds. i for one appreciate your honesty. it really is refreshing to see a pastor be so honest about his failings. not something you see a lot where i live.
Amen! Love it. Pete, your blog is a such a blessing and encouragement to me throughout the week. Keep up God’s great work. Thank you.
Pete, you’re taking a beautifully humble attitude,but don’t be too hard on yourself. JPQ’s comment yesterday was an all-to-bad example of why so many ministers leave the ministry – and who can blame them?
When I read it, my emotions boiled. Outrage (godly, I hope). Unbelief that someone way not only say such stuff, but go on so long doing it. I asked myself whether he’d ever heard of “building each other up?” Of “speaking the truth in love?” Of “being kind?” Of God’s principle of rest, whether on the Sabbath or in letting the land rest a year, or on a well earned vacation. And on and on.
There’s no point telling everything I thought – I’m sure you get the taste. On the other side, I was VERY glad to see all those who jumped to your defense. I come down solidly with them.
And, Pete, if you or any of your hard-working staff staff ever want another “escape” to this part of “God’s Country,” come ahead. E-mail us first. Wherever we’re living then, we’ll be glad to guide you, hike with you, watch you fish – help you get refreshed. We all need that.
Best wishes!!!!!
great discussion. definitely something we all struggle with.
Pete-I’ll add to the list of references. I’ve seen you live out your life. I’ve seen you make mistakes and correct yourself. I’ve seen you handle tough circumstances. I’ve seen you up and I’ve seen you down. I’ve even gotten to give criticism to you (and receive it as well). And throughout, I’ve seen an honest, authentic man of God wrestling to get it right. Proud to call a friend and a brother.
Wow, lots of traffic here. I just ran across your page. Good post here. I think I deal with the same issues of critics; I want to look good to people and be like by everyone.
I’ll have to stop by again.
this sounds like a book I should really read! I can understand how you felt about the comment. I hadn’t seen it until I read your blog today, then I went back and found it. Wow. That was really hurtful. What I loved seeing though, were all the people who said even more amazing things on your behalf after it was written. Thats what you should take with you!!!
Hey there, Pete. Can you please e-mail me? I want to send you the IP address of the dude on my site so you can see if it’s the same guy. He has trolled several Christian sites and he is a mean to the core Christian hater. You don’t have to disclose to me if it’s the same person. I just want you to have his IP address because I suspect it is. The note PQP wrote to you sounds very much like my troll.
Thanks.
This is all hilarious. I enjoy this in a sinister way.
I personally know Pete, and if he is pulling in major six figures, I am really upset that he had me buy lunch in January (hee, hee). Perhaps he got a golden parachute from the “Pastor Bailout”.
The blogosphere is an interesting sociology experiment and it has benefits and drawbacks. By making one’s life public on a blog, you open yourself up to praise, ridiculousness and insult. They all come with the territory.
Pete, I don’t like you because “you blog”. I like you because I think you are a good husband, father and friend. These conclusions were all reached after actual human, face-to-face interaction. I especially enjoy our times together on the trout stream, because they serve to restore my soul, lift me from the concrete jungle and allow myself to recalibrate and “keep the real thing, the real thing.”
It’s meant to be that you posted this….look what I read this morning:
http://www.perrynoble.com/2009/07/15/four-ways-to-deal-with-a-critic/
some cool insight on this very topic!
Love your blog, btw….and what you have to say!
Well good grief…did this one not hit me right square in the face today. I constantly deal with this….CONSTANTLY…it’s me -no one else-but in how I handle -woop wait a minute -how I choose to handle it-do I immediately give it to God and tattletale on that person -letting my Father know how much that hurt or what is going on in my mind and let Him deal with it and my heart-or do I go on letting it just ruin the rest of the day, week and so and so on. Well-enough said -other people have said it better-but I am with you Pete -lets high tail it out of there!!!!
Blessings,
Jennifer
Just heard Jack Graham say this tonight…
“Any thing in motion causes friction”
Friction shapes us… so says James anyway.
Sometimes a critism is just that; an opinion from a caring person that does not agree with a certain position. It may not always be wrong.
Love!
Two things….
1. I feel incredibly criticized… and incredibly bad….
(I guess that two things… already… sorry)
2. I marvel at how a catfish in a tuna boat can shake things up… and how, in the end, being critical of a Pastor (usually) brings about much more affirmation… whether the criticism was warranted, desired or appreciated… and thus… negates said criticism…. (usually).
All the scripture that was brought to bear was beneficial… for me…. and maybe… everyone… so thank you very much.
I would only pose this question… who among us can cast a “I’ve never criticized anyone before” stone?
We’re all narcissists and critics… God help us!
I grew up a preachers kid. PK if your hip to the slang
I never understood the stress my dad was under until recently. Pete, I don’t know how you deal with this many people all the time, but I’m glad you do. I know without a shadow of a doubt that you are called to do this. Keep your head up when people try to push it down and know that you led a lost one back to the fold 
By the way, I had no idea who Samson really was as a person and I heard that story a thousand times growing up. This lesson series while you’re decompressing has been really eye opening for my perception of God and some of his closest friends.
Pete;
When someone criticizes me, I take it to the Lord and ask Him. “Lord what part of this is true, and what do You want to do about it in my life.” If I’m genuine with the Lord, He is faithful and just to work in my life, conforming me to the image of Christ.
A couple of years ago, in our church, a little boy 4 to 5 years old wanted to be baptized. When the pastor asked him why, his answer was…”there’s still too much Aiden in me.” Out of the mouth of babes! I’ve never forgotten that comment from a child who realized the He must increase and we must decrease. What I’ve been learning is that our job is to have a teachable spirit. To yield to the Holy Spirit who works in us and to keep looking to the Lord. Praise God for His mercy and grace!
@John Q Public,
Love you brother… may God give us each the wisdom and faith to seek Him more each day.
And to love each other like He has called us to.
Pete:
Don’t live in your area, but have been drawn to the ‘idea’ of a Cross Point like church in my area. Sadly there are none. I find it refreshing to see on your blog that you are indeed ‘human & imperfect’ because, after all, isn’t that the same as all of us. Your messages reinforce that point. We are all imperfect, what is important is that we embrace that and work towards having a closer relationship with God, and take all our stumbles and imperfections in stride…keeping our goal in sight. I truly understand where you are at right now…and it makes me feel better about it, because I have found myself in that ‘parking lot or rubbish dump’ a lot more lately than I care to admit. Good for you to take time out to rest, reflect and re-establish that closeness with God we are all striving for! Good for you man!!
I typed a big, long, clever? comment and it wouldn’t save. Maybe I was too proud of it. Let’s see if this one works.
That figures. I’ll try to remember part of it.
Thanks for following me on twitter, so I could come here and meet you and some awesome people who read your blog.
I see a few things in what you wrote and what has happened to you.
1. Jealousy makes a person do terrible things.
2. It takes a long time to get to the place where we’re so full of God’s love that we are not hurt by things that people say that are hateful and spiteful, because we can see the pain in their heart. I know I’m no where near that place. Yet.
3. You obviously love people. God loves that about you.
4. At least you don’t let your aversion to being criticized stop you from doing what the Lord has called you to do. I let fear of man keep me from speaking out and doing things that make me vulnerable to attack by people who will disagree with me. You are strong and bold. Don’t let anybody stop you from doing what the Lord has called and equipped you to do. You are an encouragement to more timid people to press on in spite of opposition and persecution.
5. My family has lived in poverty before because we had some lessons to learn. I thank the Lord that He led us out of it into abundance. We now know that He is truly our Source. That’s not just lip service. We know that our money is His and we ask Him how He wants us to use it. He wants us to use it to help others and to take care of ourselves and to enjoy life. He’s a good Father who loves to see His kids happy. He blesses us and is blessed by our enjoyment of His blessings.
That’s all I wanted to say. Thanks for following me so that I could participate in this fascinating discussion and meet some fellow believers who are following hard after God.
Pete–It’s pretty impressive (and obvious) you have a fairly large support team! I’m sure JQP is not your only critic. I have to say that when I read his comment yesterday on your blog I was struck more by how sad he seemed and alone and hurting then anything else. I’ve been asking myself for a day now how I could pray for him so that my prayers might make a difference. You responded well to his initial comment and even in this post, while many of your fans have continued to rally around you, you seemed to be willing to learn what God has for you to learn about how you felt, how you responded, and the less attractive parts of your character. God is good that way. You are probably already the type to “pray for your enemies” so I’m guessing you’ve got JQP’s back already. It seems from some of the comments this isn’t a first time with him. Not sure I know really what I’m trying to say…only that I often leave this site with plenty to think about, so thanks. JQP–may God keep you and grant you peace in this day, a peace that surpasses your understanding and begins to speak to you about how incredibly you are loved by Him who loves us all, even in the middle of our sin. Have a blessed day, Minnow
Hey Pete –
I haven’t checked your blog in months, and just opened it today to have your words hit me square between the eyes….
Thanks for your open honesty.
I’m confused. Narcissism and wanting approval are two different things. Simplistically, one is active and the other passive. Narcissists believe that it’s all about them, but what I see in you causes me to believe that you genuinely care about the people around you and would be willing to sacrifice for them.
Wanting approval or people pleasing is totally different! I believe that this might be where you are given your description of the criticism. Check out Joyce Meyer’s Approval Addiction or How We Love. Hope this helps.
I’ve been going to Cross Point for a long time and have NEVER doubted your heart for Jesus. It’s obvious in everything you do. I appreciate your love of nature. I see it as just another way of praising God. I also know that your focus on your family is an inspiration for many.
Even when we’re doing what we think God wants us to …there are always those nagging negative thoughts that sneak up. When someone posts something so negative, it’s like they put a human voice to those thoughts but it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Keep following the path you’re on. I’m not saying we all don’t struggle with narcissism (heck, I’m in the music business) but allowing someone’s posting to upset you doesn’t sound like that. I think you handled it really well.
But I agree, for all the nice things people have said about my voice I can still remember “word for word” negative comments I got 25 years ago! ha. That’s when I try to give myself the “seek not the praise of men” talk.
I want to publicly apologize to everyone for my previous comments on the last two posts of this blog. For some reason, Wednesday was a really bad day for me and I used this blog as an outlet for my anger. Maybe I need a break from Pete’s blog, LOL.
A great book by Bob Sorge that might help us to get a balanced perspective is Dealing With the Rejection and Praise of Man. A description: Rejection. Ugh! Many of us have been devoured by its ravages, and most of us have also given it out. Praise. Now there’s a happier word! But the sinister tentacles of man’s praise constantly seek to disqualify God’s servants from their highest inheritance. Rejection and Praise are like twin gullies that flank the narrow highway of holiness. Every step counts. For Jesus, man’s opinions were meaningless in light of the exuberant affection and passionate approval of His Father. Learn how to hold your heart before God in a way that pleases Him in the midst of both rejection and praise from people. Pages: 86
I just realized that a post I wrote on my blog last week might be relevant, too. http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/penneyfromheaven/709821/
It’s called Am I a Mirror or a Sponge?
Hi Pete,
I appreciate your honesty as always on this blog. I would submit that the criticisms we take the hardest are the ones that some small part of us believes are true. I know how hard it is for me to take time away, treat myself or my family, relax, maybe even spend a little money. I feel guilty for not spending every waking moment in my church, and yet I know that unless I do, I’m a crummy pastor. Still, when people call me on it, or criticize it, it stings that much more precisely because I’m already a little sore about it.
And this reflection rings true for me too, in that same uncomfortable way. Because there is a part of me who likes to be liked–even loved–even adored, and I have to constantly battle that in my ministry and not make it about me and keep the focus on Jesus. I don’t know if it’s narcissism or people-pleasing or plain old pride, but it’s a bear, and to be criticized for that too? That’s tough.
You handled it well and didn’t let it get to you–much. But remember that at the end of the day, your harshest critic is not anyone who reads and comments on your blog. It’s probably you, and like any critic, he needs your love and forgiveness and prayers. Be gentle with yourself, and thank you again for you honest engagement in your ministry in all its ups and downs. Peace and renewal to you!
I just today had come to the conclusion that I was spending too much time going over a past conversation when it hit me- it’s not about me. I had to go to God and revamp my focus. Yuck! Thanks for this post and I would love to read the book! I love it when God backs up His words to me through a random blog reading!
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..The People =-.