My oldest son Jett is getting ready to finish up his regular season of baseball before heading into the tournament. His team hasn’t done so hot this year and is headed into the tournament ranked pretty low. In fact, he’s really nervous because tonight they’re playing the number one team in the league.
He loves to play baseball. A matter of fact, a couple weeks ago I tried to talk him into skipping his game and going camping with me, but he refused stating he didn’t want to let his teammates down. Now that’s dedication.
With that in mind I knew something was up when last night when he told me he didn’t want to play tomorrow night. I said, “What, you don’t want to play?” He said, “No, I was thinking maybe we could go camping.”
I proceeded to dig a little bit and discover he’s extremely nervous about playing this team which is ranked number one. He told me they were going to absolutely kill them and there was really no reason to even show up. “It’s going to be embarrassing,” he told me.
I’ve been really proud of Jett this year not only because of his performance, but because of his leadership on and off the field. It’s been fun to watch him develop. He’s usually the player that will yell out “Come on Ray’s. We’ve got two outs we need one more. Come on Ray’s let’s focus, we can do it.”
As we talked last night I asked him, “Son, do you want to be a player or a leader? It doesn’t matter to me, I’m proud of you either way, but if you want to be a leader you’ve got to act like a leader.” He said, “Dad, I want to be a leader.”
I proceeded to tell him in the simplest of terms that a leader has a different calling than the player. A player just has to show up and give his best. A leader has to show up and not only give his best but make sure he sets the rest of the team up to give their best.
I said, “Son if you show up at that game tomorrow scared the rest of your team is going to be scared. If you show up thinking you’re going to get beat, the rest of your team is going to think they’re going to get beat.”
I’m often reminded that while part of my job is defining reality… seeing possibility is equally, if not more important as a leader.
Is there a chance they’ll get killed tomorrow? Absolutely
Is there a chance they’ll pull off the upset of the year? Absolutely. And that chance goes up if a leader steps up to the plate, looks each team member in the eyes and practices the art of possibility.
If you lead a church, an organization, a small business, or a family you need to be reminded the people following you desperately want and need to be led. They need you to define reality, but they also need you to practice the art of possibility.
They need not be reminded of what is likely, apparent, or impending for those things are obvious to the average person. They need to be reminded of what they cannot see on their own. They need to be reminded of what just might happen against all odds.
That’s leadership. That’s the art of possibility.
Love the lessons our kiddos can learn through sports… and how they carry over to life. No one wants to step into the ring with the GIANTS. We’re not called to defeat them, (in life, God will take care of that) but to stand firm in what we’re called to do (life) and/or committed to do (being part of a team). Great post, Pete!
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Great post. As a guy who grew up playing every sport under the sun, I can say unequivocally that the experiences gleaned on the field absolutely transfer to how I live life – both at home, the office, and in general worldview. I love the distinction that you made with J – leader or player – and the corresponding requirements. What excites me more is how much he will learn tomorrow, through a win OR a loss. He won’t realize it in the moment – in fact, he will almost surely forget this game many years from now. But I think there’s a chance Jett remembers that you took the time to sit down and talk through how this is bigger than a game. If so, that will be a great victory.
Beautiful post, and I also love what Kendra (1st commenter) said. Thank you so much for being willing to share that wisdom with us.
AWESOME story Pete…and lesson!!! Let us know who won!
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I can relate to this so well.
When I was a kid playing little league, I was always on the “scrubs” team.
The kids that just liked to play and had no actual talent to speak of.
Maybe every town has that…one team thats pretty awful, and one team that is stacked with guys who will play at higher levels later…
My team was the As, and the stacked team was the White Sox.
Our coach told us that if we could win this game, he’d take us all out for milkshakes afterward.
We kinda laughed at him, “Okay, coach, if you say so.”
Somehow though, we played the best game of the season that night.
Maybe hearing the coach give us some incentive, and the tone in his voice sounding like he believed we could win, actually helped.
Now, I don’t remember anything that happened during the game.
I don’t even remember the final score.
But I do remember that it was grape milkshake!
I think you are raising such a fine young man….blessed with wisdom beyond his years.
*high five*
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Great post. Thanks for challenging us yet again.
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Good story – have had similar ones with my kids. Tell him about Jonathan saying “Maybe God will be with us”. You never know till you go and do it. That is how I try (not always successful) to live my life.
Jim’s last blog post..Sense of Excitement
Okay, Pete. That was just an awesome piece of writing right there. That’s all I have to say about that.
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color me rocked. what a great post, view, and lifestyle. Jett is a lucky dude.
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I posted an athletes prayer over at my blog today that my oldest brought home from basketball camp at Union. Go get it and give it to Jett tonight. I think its perfect!
Regardless…Jett is a GREAT kid…win or lose the game, he’ll be a-ok.
Fran’s last blog post..It’s all about attitude
Wonderful post. I tell my kids all the time “What you tell yourself becomes your truth. Tell yourself you are smart and you can do ANYTHING!” Of course, my kids have a hard time with that in particular, because before they were adopted the world told them they were worthless. I figure if I love them unconditionally and tell them every day how wonderful they are, and pray a lot, because I have faith one day they will understand…
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Hey, can you raise my kids too? Or I can just set you up on speed-dial for when those impossible questions come along… :0)
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Beautiful! Good luck Jett!!
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Thanks, Pete–I needed to hear this today.
Good post Pete. You showed wisdom in dealing with Jett’s desire to go camping instead. Great insight on leading vs. playing. He will remember that and when he is a professional ballplayer he will make you proud when he says, “Well, everything changed when I was a kid and my dad talked to me about being a leader or a player…” I hope Jett’s team pulls off the upset!
bill (cycleguy)’s last blog post..A Pastor’s Speech
Put me in coach!!
DubHow’s last blog post..View from the wheelbarrow.
Is it wrong I’m praying they smoke the Orioles tonight?
Sweetness!
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Best quote of the entire article.
Not at all. I pray for the Cubs (the real Cubs) all the time. God’s just waiting a really long time to answer that prayer
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Wish I had gotten that speech. I can definitely look back and relate… err, maybe not just back. You must have taken some Vince Lombardi classes. Wish I had understood back then and so many times after that wea re defined by the process not the outcome and the process is all we can worry about.
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Well said!
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The Art of Possibility – that’s a GREAT perspective. Hope I can pass that on to my son, and press it deep down in my own heart, so that I’m living it out!
Thanks Pete, for helping set the tone for…all of today’s possibilities!
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Loved this post, Pete! And you know you have to be a pretty darn good leader to raise a boy like that…and you are
I hope the Ray’s clean the floor with the other team.
In Jesus’ name, naturally.
dude, now I am ready to go kick that other team’s butt.
Go Rays!!
Thanks for that Pete. Was the kick up the butt I needed!
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Ok, *I* feel pepped up after reading this… can’t imagine how much it impacted Jett. I suddenly want to be a leader, but the only one around me is my dog and he claimed the leader role a long time ago.
I’m thinking that win or lose, Jett is going to come off the field empowered that they did their best… but I’ll sneak a few prayers in that they beat the Orioles, too… and will be expecting a few updates on twitter…
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Great post, Pete.
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I heard Jett is a pretty good hitter too! Hey Pete, thanks for the post. It isn’t uncommon (AT ALL) for me to relate to the way Jett feels. Crazy what we can learn from the little guys
Thanks for the indirect accountability
I love this! So very true.
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Awesome post Pete!
You have taught Jett and all of us a great lesson.
It is so easy to give up or take the easy way.
Thanks for reminding me sometimes the hard or the unlikely is the best way.
Pete, praying that your team wins isn’t wrong as much as we should always want what is glorifying to God to happen…so, I will pray that God is evident in the attitudes of the kids and coaches and fans today! God bless!
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@Gitz, at the end of the day I’m fine if they get blown away. Just hope they have a blast doing it.
I’m praying they smoke the Orioles too…
Thank you for shining the Art of Possibility in our sons’ lives. You’re an incredible dad.
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Ouch! I needed that reminder… thanks.
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That is SUCH a great point about being a leader!! I’m so impressed with Jett’s ability to see that his team would be let down if he didn’t show. Pretty awesome for an 8 year old!!! Can’t wait to hear what he says after the outcome of the game!
Pete & Andy: no it is not wrong for them to smoke the Orioles tonight. I think I know what is wrong Andy. I pray for the Pirates. Perhaps we cancel each other out. I think it would be better for you to pray for the Pirates.
bill (cycleguy)’s last blog post..A Pastor’s Speech
I’ve never wanted to play baseball so bad in my life.
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Wow…great post!
As a fellow father, I’m on the verge of all these new chapters developing. First, it was the flip, the crawl, the walk, the run and talk. The basics have been covered now the page has been turned.
Pete, I remember when Tricia was pregnat w/ Wyatt. I was managing Midtown Cafe at the time when I met this remarkable person. He sat alone waiting for his guests. When he arrived he saw me kiss Tricia goodbye.
” When is she due, ” he asked ? Next month.
” Boy or Girl? ” Boy, ” I replied. He just smiled. Then he proceeded to tell me about his adventures of Fatherhood. All these “1st’s” are about to happen to you. Amazing first times. He said being a parent will always be a challenge because everyday will be new and a 1st.
I have adopted that theory and when I read your blog, I just smiled. Much like the gentleman that sat alone podering life. I too remember the butterfly conversation I had w/ my Dad.
Just another chapter, another page, another right of passage, another 1st.
Thanks for sharing!!!!
Pete, I want you to take today’s blog post to any Christian book publisher as a chapter outline for your first book: Lessons in Leadership.
- Mike
P.S. – Okay, really. I’m not kidding.
Losing is such an important part of life – I never wanted my kids to lose, but the temporary pain always resulted necessary growth and maturity. Not only are you cultivating an awesome leader in Jett, but in his innocent and unknowing way, he is continuing to develop your own leadership skills. Kids sort of make us grow up whether we want to or not. Dang it.
Leave it all on the field, Jett! We’ve all been in your cleats.
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Tell Jett we understand exactly how he feels. My oldest son’s team had not one a single game in two seasons (VERY SAD!!!) until last friday night. Talk about excitement! Hope he had a great game!
Well said. I’ll tuck that away for later use with my short people. Thanks!
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@Mike Bassow, I’ve loved watching you develop as a father. I’m really proud of you!
Thank you so much for a great post…I might borrow those words in my classroom someday when I get back there. Let us know how the game goes
Great post Pete. You are a great dad and leader.
Go Rays! Hit a HR Jett and show ‘em how it’s done.
I love this and needed it today thank you!!!!
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My youngest son, Jackson(turns 9 on Sunday), is a real funny kid. He told his mom that he was embarrased at soccer practice because I saw him with his shirt off. He didn’t like having to take it off for shirts vs. skins. He came to me before his bedtime and told me what was up. I said, dude, i always had my shirt off when I was your age! WAH?Dad takes his shirt off? Not anymore…mostly for swimming.
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Tears!! You are an awesome Dad!!! What a life lesson for even us! Thank you for setting such a great example…I agree with you 100%..
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Dang, where were you with that talk when my kids were little and impressionable? Some of them played sports, but I really think the idea of being a player or a leader would have applied in other areas, and I missed my chance to make this valuable point with all five of my kids. Guess that’s why I don’t seem to have raised any leaders. Rats!
Sent a copy of your post to my dh, though. He’s a leader at work, and they are all depressed about the economy. I thought maybe it would pump him up a bit.
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“The art of possibility”
I’m turning this over and over and over in my head and heart. I love it. Savoring all that it means and thankful that even online you are a leader like that.
Robin
All Things Heart and Home
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In case you don’t follow me on twitter I thought I would give you a game update.
They lost 8-7 in the last inning but played a heck of a game.
Jett got up in the last inning with two oust and had two strikes when he hit a double and kept the game alive.
The highlight moment for me was walking in the dugout before the game started just in time to hear Jett giving his teammates a pep talk.
I’ll be honest: I teared up and had to walk out of the dugout.
OMG, I don’t follow Twitter at all (for the unrequested record comment of the day, I think Twitter kills brain cells) but anyhoo…..YAY. What a great score! It must have been exciting. They obviously gave the other team a great challenge, which in itself, is a great character building life experience. You’re a GREAT Dad!
Melissa Irwin’s last blog post..To Be His Voice…
Pete, well done! You live out leadership, but defining that reality for your sons—priceless! As one who now sees my own grown offspring as leaders, you’ll be proud at several levels in years to come. We NEED leaders everywhere, especially in family settings. Give Jett a reward however the game turns out: he truly “gets it”!!
Pete, I can honestly say that my involvement in athletics was perhaps the best thing I did in my life to prepare me for a life as a surgeon. Athletics are wonderful for so many reasons. They exemplify the true art of teamwork, which should transfer directly to our careers. They push you to the absolute brink of exhaustion…then ask for a little bit more.
To be honest, I am concerned about this era of “self esteem” that we are finding ourselves in. I was a three-sport athlete growing up and found that my best lessons were when I LOST! Today, COMPETITION is considered bad, because by definition it creates winners and losers. Yet, my innumerable experiences as the “loser” really helped define my character. Athletics are a great opportunity to teach our children how to behave as a “winner” and as a “loser”, because they are going to be in both roles in the game of life. With all that said, I am strongly opposed to children of extremely young ages (4, 5 or so) who are in competitive leagues. That is just crazy and more likely represents a father or mother who feels like he/she has something left to prove from their own childhood.
My final rant…we need to teach our children (and ourselves) to resist the sin of complacency. It took down the Roman Empire and has the opportunity to do the same to the good ‘ole USA. We really need to challenge ourselves and each other. The coaches and surgeon-teachers I have admired the most are those who pushed me to achieve things that I didn’t think I could do (at times I also hated them for it…).
So, Jett took one on the chin this evening? Good, welcome to the club my man! You are not alone. We have all been through it and we celebrate the integrity you displayed with your loss. True character is revealed in times of adversity.
Tim Sanders sent me this quote the other day… lines up perfectly with your post.
Napoleon said, “a leader’s role is to define reality and give hope.”
I saw the message on Twitter about the score, but didn’t read this post until today.
Awesome. Must be proud of your son for suiting up and showing up, as my favorite role model used to say…
I just wanted to let you know that I loved this post and just forwarded it to my entire leadership team at my church!! Thanks for your words….we all needed to hear it!!!
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Wow, I’m impressed Pete. Looks like you beat God to the punch yesterday.
I recently signed up for a daily email from Neale Donald Walsch, who wrote the “Conversations with God” books. Here’s what my email said today:
“On this day of your life, Jan, I believe God wants you to know…
….that outstanding leaders go out of the way to boost the self-esteem
of their personnel. If people believe in themselves it’s
amazing what they can accomplish.
Sam Walton said that, and he was right.
If you direct the activities of others, have you given them
a compliment today? Have you told them how valuable they are?
If they are not valuable, why do you have them working
for you? If they are, why would you not tell them?
Not once a year, at evaluation time.
Right now. Today. And often.”
Jan C.’s last blog post..Reasons I Love Chick-fil-A
This was so excellent.
Thank you.
Thank you for being a great Dad.
Thank you for noticing things about your son when others might not have.
Thank you for making things teachable moments.
Thank you for teaching me about as much as Jett may have learned- and I’m twenty three.
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I gave your speech to my 11 year old son before his big playoff game this week. He told me I sounded like a preacher. I chuckled and had to come clean with the source and how right he was!