There’s a wedding I get to perform tonight and I’ve been looking over my notes this morning. As usual, 1 Corinthians 13 is one of the selected scriptures. Sometimes when a particular passage has become redundant to me I like to read it out of a different translation. For this wedding I’m going to use the Message paraphrase.
We’ve discussed aspects of this passage before here, but take a second to read through this today.
1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
When you read through the list which aspect of “love” do you struggle with?
For me it was, “love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have”. I have struggled with this on and off throughout my entire life. I’m trying to understand that part of loving God and loving people is learning to be “content” with who I am and what I have.
As long as I WANT your personality, your house, your gift mix, your bank account, your family situation, your health, your job, your friends….your life, then I can’t really love you in the way God has designed me to love you.
For me it is “not flying off the handle”..I blame it on Hormones…the second is “put up with anything”, that is something I struggle with and have a difficult time biting my tongue, I do for the most part and then lose my cool.
“Doesn’t want what it doesn’t have” is definitely a struggle for me. I find myself often wishing that things were different or trying to change people that I love.
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@Jamie, glad to know I’m not alone!
Puts up with anything….SERIOUSLY???
This is my hardest struggle and a lot of my peers say I am co-dependent because of my choices. I work very hard on setting boundaries and not enabling those closest to me…it is a very thin line, though. I have to remember that my biggest struggle is dealing with an adult that no longer needs a Mom but needs a wife. ‘Nuff said!
Pete, you share God’s love each and every day on this blog and I am so thankful for that!
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That’s good, Pete.
Love puts up with anything. It seems that I have a certain point to what I’ll put up with in “love”…after that I honestly want to dismiss someone.
Here’s a question I asked myself this week, “How do I continue to love when I all feel is pain or rejection?” and the answer is so simple, “Becasue Jesus did love and Jesus lives in me”
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Gee, Pete, I believe the “keeping score” part is the hardest. The past hurts are hard to forget…working on forgiveness, can you tell?
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“Love wants what it doesn’t have”.
My struggle on this one is not usually for things, but wanting to be treated in a certain way by people I love.
I have a VERY quiet husband, who I would love to hear share more, but I he is an awesome man and I struggle with letting him be him, because HE is who I love. All of him, even his quietness.
*BTW, this quiet man is 48 TODAY! Come wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (I’m trying to get 48 well wishes for him)
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It’s definitely “Trusts God always.”
Now, we all say we do, but we don’t. That’s why we fuss, fret and fume over so many things.
Thanks for the reminder.
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wow. it is amazing how a different translation can make a familiar passage come alive again. thanks for sharing that!
i struggle with “trust God always”.
i SAY i trust him.
but if you were in my mind and heart, it’s obvious that i don’t a lot of the time.
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I’m afraid I’d be telling less than the truth if I didn’t admit that, more often than not, I struggle with all of these things to some degree. But “puts up with anything”? That’s a real killer.
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Not flying off the handle and not keeping a record of wrongs are right up there at the top. I am way too critical and impatient.
Good stuff again bro…I think for me, the flowering of truth…because I can’t love you like I need to love you if I am shading the truth about who I really am. If I am not willing to share truth, live in truth and rejoice in the truth, then my ability to love is diminished, and the love I receive isn’t as complete as it could be. Great, great stuff…
Good stuff again bro…I think for me, the flowering of truth…because I can’t love you like I need to love you if I am shading the truth about who I really am. If I am not willing to share truth, live in truth and rejoice in the truth, then my ability to love is diminished, and the love I receive isn’t as complete as it could be. Great, great stuff…
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“Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.” I am struggling with this one this week. I have a girlfriend that is getting HUGE financial blessings right now. I am struggling to make ends meet and stuggling to be happy for her blessings. Such mixed feelings, but I am happy for her regardless. I am a continuous work in progress!
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“Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others”.
Man that’s hard to admit!
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I just gave a small scrapbook entitled “TLC: The Love Chapter, in my qords” to my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. I used scripture quotations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 from the New International Version and then fleshed out what those things meant to me/to us on a personal level.
I think I struggle the most with “Love always trusts,” and “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” When life experiences continue to teach us that others will let us down, trust (in others and sometimes in God) is difficult. When others’ wrongs have created difficult circumstances for us, it is difficult not to watch people very carefully and bolt at the first sign of wrongdoing.
Usually, I love how The Message puts concepts into words, but I must say I’m struggling with the phrase “Love puts up with anything.” Does it? Really? For some reason, that one’s getting stuck in my craw…so maybe that’s the toughest one for me.
Um…that should be “words” not “qords”
“Never looks back”
I don’t dwell in the past per say, but someone I love does, so it makes it hard to change, because you are in a constant battle to not look back, and stay at peace and find healing.
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Love cares more for others than for self.
that keeps comin up and up and up….
Mine would be keeping score of the sins of others.
My husband and I have this silly rule that we insitituted shortly after marriage. We can’t use things that are over a year old in the present. So I am not supposed to be able to say in the heat of the moment – “But you did this back then and now….”
It’s hard when a person has a good memory not to recall things one remembers. I struggle with this often and am really working on just letting go. Putting the past in the past and living in the present.
Have fun at the wedding!
~Kate
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I’m with you, Pete. I feel I am always compairing my insides to others outsides. When I do that, I am not appreciating who God made ME to be, and what God has given ME. I would also say I struggle with “always looks for the best”. I can be pretty negative. You could do a whole series on this, huh?
Pete? Question: how do I get my face to show up next to my comment?
“Love doesn’t strut” — Ha! Crazy Message Bible!
“Puts up with anything.” is my struggle, cuz I just don’t have a lot of patience with mean people. I know I’m supposed to love like Jesus loves, but mean people suck.
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I’m with the other Becky.
By far, my biggest struggle is “Love cares more for others than for self.”
I fight SO much to get rid of my obsession with myself. It’s HARD.
Love doesn’t keep score and love always looks for the best are my struggles. I think when you’ve been hurt or scarred by people who “loved” you in the past, it changes your view of love. For me, holding onto things and harboring bitterness is what typically hurts my relationships with those I love. Why can’t I just forgive and look for the best in all situations ????
PS Pete, you have SO many things that people covet….a great job, status, faith, wife, beautiful kids, intelligence…so next time you think you want what others have, remember that others think the same thing about you! You are so blessed!
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…keeping score…
….puts up with anything….
I don’t keep score of sins of people who love and accept me! But that scorecard sticks around when someone decides I’m worthless….like my dad….or like my former best friend….. The forgiveness doesn’t seem to be the issue. Forgiveness is one thing…but forgetting is something totally different.
And, WHO, can put up with injustice? Argghhh….
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Groan. Considering this was one of the readings at our wedding ceremony, I am ashamed of how infrequently I have gone back over the list and asked myself how well I am doing with it!
I think maybe, given that I have 2 teenagers at the moment and another entering adolescence, that I struggle to “look for the best.”
But I keep working on it, and giving up is not an option in my mind. Because I do believe that “love conquers all things.” In fact, that is inscribed in our wedding bands!
@Heather, that’s a great question. I have no clue. Can anyone else tell me how you get your picture next to your comments?
Pete, when did you make the change on your blog? I haven’t been here in a little while and noticed you aren’t at WordPress.com.
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I think faces show up only if you have a Gravatar…
As for which of these I struggle with…well, the real question is which of them DON’T I struggle with? The hardest ones for me are isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, and doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.
I think if I wasn’t “me first,” then those others would come…
Mary @ Giving Up on’s last blog post..Oh yes, they call him the streak. (Don’t look, Ethel!)
“Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,”
I’m working on becoming more like Christ, especially in THESE areas.
@Unknown Nobody, I just switched over to self hosted two weeks ago.
“Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others”
I think that is my biggest issue…Not that I don’t have several! I just tend to say, “oh, that person did…whatever”, so I can justify my own poor behavior.
The biggest one I struggle with is “Not wanting what is doesn’t have!” Being in a tumultuous, changing, growing church makes that one tough. I see where we can and will be and want it now! Instead, I need to keep my eyes focused on loving what God has given me now! Focus on loving my people the way they are now, and keep hope for tomorrow!
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Pete
I read the same version at weddings.. and I don’t just end it there–I read on. “Until that day when Jesus comes back we have three things to do; have steadfast faith, hope unswervingly and love extravagantly. But the greatest of these is love. (Don’t remember where I got the paraphrase but it works)
As for me–LOVE NEVER LOOKS BACK…that’s the hard one.
Good luck with the ceremony!
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@ Pete, BTW I like the blog change.
Love Doesn’t fly off the handle has been a struggle lately. This week I have done a better job. I think for me it all comes down to insecurity and if I would just realize more often that my security is found in Jesus alone I would be a better spouse.
I’d have to say these four, to be honest… I can pick one, but there is more or less of all four of these. They all go together it seems…:
“Love never gives up.
Love doesn’t strut,
Trusts God always,
Never looks back.”
I’ve not trusted God with my life, but looked back at my pain and sin, and became depressed over the strength of unforgiveness towards myself… I also, in the midst of all of this, want approval from others, and put myself out there, sometimes, in order to get comfort.
All of these things are a work of progress, yet, God shows me His undeserving love unconditionally, and reveals Himself to me. It blows me away.
Thanks for the question, I believe I needed to answer it for myself…
Stephen
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” Doesn’t fly off the handle ” is my main one, don’t know why that is except hormones (lol) and my second is ” Love never gives up ” I have been married for almost 14 years and there have been a few times when I wanted to give up on love, it had to do with my family when I was growing up, did not believe someone could love me so much.
Um, all of it? It depends on the day, but lately it’s been “Puts up with anything”. I wish I could say this were true of me but sadly my fuse is shorter than it ought to be.
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Which do i not struggle with is a much better question.
But “Doesn’t fly off handle” and “Always has faith in God” are big..
I read it over and over, and so many of them are struggles for me. The older I get, the more I think I struggle with “looking back” too much. I don’t even realize I’m doing it most of the time. Sometimes it’s hard to forget the things behind me, run the race, and “press toward the mark!”
trusting God! I often know He is calling me to DO..but I stand still because I question my abilities. I struggle with loving myself most of the time and that reflects my love for others often. I am trying daily to see myself through the eyes of Christ and know that no matter what He loves me. I started a seminar called “Searching for the Beauty Within” about 7 years ago, and this past year after much fussing with God I gave in and said “OK GOD I WILL SPEAK” lol..I did and our numbers doubled! I seem to trust when things turn out, not before..Francis Chan said “Trust with Abandon” and I want to be at a point to trust Him…NO MATTER what the outcome is! Abraham trusted with abandon…as I begin a new journey with a new ministry that I truly believe God has called me to start..UNBOUND Ministry (means being set free…) My prayer is that through my story, and through my passion many young girls, teenagers, college students, and even moms can clearly see themselves through the eyes of Christ rather than how this world views them
My theme is Just as I am…no regrets:) thanks for all your amazing blogs! AWESOME:) Ephesians 3:20 Dream Big:)
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hard to pick from a list where everything is something that needs serious work… probably the “self” items, letting go of self and allowing someone else to be more important that your own needs
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Doesn’t fly off the handle. Yeah, that’s pretty much mine.
Well, they all are of course areas I have experienced. I would say the one that stands out the most for me is, Love always looks for the best! In doing this we bypass what people are displaying and see the good always, which can be so hard to do. Especially, if they are not that wonderful. With your family or spouse this can be tough also. I mean, we do see the good things, but we also know the bad. Are we capable of always seeing the best and loving them according there best? That is my challenge. We all tend to want to treat others according to how they treat us, but to always see the best hmmm! God help us all!
“Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.”
I always wanted to run faster, sing better, be thinner… I wanted what others had because I couldn’t see that what I was as worthwhile, as “enough.” That led to an eating disorder in high school and struggles with self esteem for years.
Then, slowly, my disease took away any resource to be the best at anything. I no longer have physical abilities to run, to sing, to work out and look how I want. I can’t work so I don’t have the nice house, I can no longer drive so there’s no fancy car, and no potential to ever have any of it again.
And remarkably, when I lost everything I wanted to make me a “better” person, I started becoming very content with who I am. When the possibility of pushing myself to have what I wanted disappeared, suddenly I loved and appreciated everything that was left.
Tough way to learn a lesson, but it is so much nicer being content in my own life.
Well, losing 10 pounds would still be nice… I’m not a saint
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One of my struggles is with “Love cares more for others than for self.” This is especially true when trying to get my way through manipulating other. Eeecchh! Ugly stuff. There is a well-worn place at the foot of the cross with this one.
doesn’t want what it doesn’t have for me as well…
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Ouch. I’m gonna throw out a tie to “Isn’t always ‘me first’” and “Never Looks Back”. I struggle with selfishness and regret. I’m grateful though that I am able to see God’s hand in those regrettable things. 20/20 I guess. God is faithful!
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I probably struggle the most with “Love isn’t always ‘me first’”.
I tend to see people and circumstances through a “me” filter; i.e. How does this affect me? Does that person make me look better, worse? What is this going to require from me? Will this make me have to actually give something? Will this make us “equal”?
I think you get the point.
I love this translation, and I love the idea of reading passages in different translations. It grieves me that some of the most profound verses can become so benign and cliche when I go on auto-pilot through familiar passages.
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others and Always looks for the best.
This is especially true in competitive arenas or work. I’m quick to remember the “sins” of others and hold them against them. It might be to make myself feel superior in some way because I always wanted to be the best in everything. I work with a population that is hard to see the “best” in so I think I am somewhat predisposed to pick up on the bad stuff and not always the good stuff. I’m working on it.
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Can a person say all of the above…As I look this list over there are times when I struggle with all of these. Ugh…
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“Never looks back” is definitely a struggle for me. Convicting.
This is a beautiful translation. I’ll bet there wasn’t a dry eye in the church.
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Love puts up with anything. Being married for almost 13 years, we have certainly had more than our share of struggles. We vowed “to be by my side not under my feet”. Even when it feels we are walking on each other our love doesn’t give up. It is not simple love nor is it easy, but those struggles makes us stronger as a couple.
I don’t know if romdorney is a troll or just making a point. DOES LOVE PUT UP WITH ANYTHING?
@Christa, Well said. I couldn’t agree more.
I struggle most with “never looks back but keeps going to the end”…..I get to a point where I just want out of a painful situation. I’m learning to love without expectation, which is hard because I desire relationship and community…
The thing that stood out to me most is “Rejoices in the flowering of the truth”….that is beautiful to me and reminds me of spiritual formation, which is really nothing more than walking more and more into the truth of God.
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Have to agree with you: Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Um, er, blast.
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Hey ttm,
I thought you have a good question. I don’t think Jesus put up with anything. Of course, he did let people kill him….
I think maybe we should be strong enough to not defend ourselves and let God defend us but we should always stand up for the Truth?
Still trying to sort all these sorts of questions out myself…
Thanks for responding to my question, tawny. I was actually responding to an uncouth comment that I read here this morning. That comment has since disappeared without explanation.
I think we all struggle to love well, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles to even define what real love is. At this point in my life, I am inclined to believe that real love does NOT put up with anything.
The fact that someone deleted an “inappropriate” comment seems to support that belief.
I have more than one but I guess the one I have the most difficulty with is doesn’t fly off the handle. I think I love until I read that passage of scripture and then I am convicted that love is something I desparately need to work on.
I’m especially fascinated by the idea that the adults learnt from the children. ,