Every once in a while I get the opportunity to talk on the phone or possibly even in person with someone I greatly admire. It’s often a pastor I look up to or a leader I want to learn from. When I get my window of time with them I want to make sure I take full advantage of it.
If you want to grow in knowledge, skills, and leadership you’ve got to learn to make the most of these incredible opportunities. Here’s a few guidelines I use.
1) Don’t ask them a question which can be answered on their website. For instance, if you get 30 minutes with Mark Batterson don’t ask him how many campuses they have or where the campuses are located.
2) Don’t spend the majority of your time telling them your story. If Perry Noble wants to hear your story he’ll call YOU. Spend 20% of your time asking questions and sharing and the other 80% of your time listening.
3) Don’t waste their time by asking questions someone else on their staff is better suited to answer. If you get some time with Greg Surratt don’t ask questions about Sea Coast’s children’s ministry. The only thing he knows about the children’s ministry is what his grand kids tell him. 
4) Respect their time. Just because Jud Wilhite agrees to take your phone call once doesn’t mean he can talk to you on a monthly basis. Be thankful for the time you got and don’t waste it by using it to try to get more time out of them in the future. If Jud has more time to give you he will more than likely offer it to you.
5) Don’t ask them questions about someone else. If you’re talking with Jeff Henderson don’t ask him questions about Andy Stanley. If you want to learn from Jeff then ask him questions about his life, his leadership, and his influence. If you want to know about Andy then call Andy.
If you want to be a good leader you’ve got to be a great learner. If you want to be a great learner you’ve got to be an exceptional listener.
Amen! Shut-up and listen!
This one is excellent. My friend’s mother is a very well known entrepreneur and she is all about the kind of interview you are talking about. These seem like good guidelines.
My question is: what are the top three things you want to know when you interview someone like this, or do all of the questions change depending on who you are speaking to?
I had a leader much like the ones you mention tell me that they sat and listened to a guy tell them all the things they were doin gwrong in minstry. Ask and listen – great advice!
What did you just say?
Seems like a great Proverb… David would have been challenged to write it any better. Listen, Listen and Listen some more.
I did pretty well in school. Then, one day my English teacher told me how smart I was. Followed up with, “Until you opened your mouth”.
Thanks for stopping by my blog today:) It’s always great meeting new people in the ministry. Have a Merry Christmas!
Brother, great blog post. Always helpful to know how the big dogs think about leadership!
Is this perhaps a reflection of someone who feels his own time is wasted by those who seek to speak with him? Because my experience tells me that some who wish to talk to a person they admire just need to know from that person that their situation isn’t out of control or weird. The people that need the most help often only need to know that they can make it.
My mother always reminds me that the words LISTEN and SILENT have the same letters in them. One of the best lessons that she has ever taught me!
Really good life/people skills being taught here.
Thanks,
R
Great insight Pete. Thanks for this post.
What about talking to the flowerduster or brandiandboys?
really great post, pete. it seems like common sense but then i realize i’ve made many of these mistakes without realizing it. good stuff.
You should have also tagged this “name dropping” hahahaha. JK
Lesson #6: Bow down and kiss the feet of the Christian leaders you respect: Seriously, that’s what I did when I met Rick Warren. Then I tried to hug him. But he’s a big man, and so, it was sort of a 1/2 hug or maybe a 1/3 hug. So I quickly got back to kissing his feet.
Then he leaned down and touched my forehead with his thumb. It was like Jesus had touched me.
Rick Warren bless you all!
It does my heart good to read this. So many leaders today are not willing to learn.
Great advice Pete! I have been guilty of getting the time with someone and then only really wanting to here how great a job they think I am doing. I finally realized I needed to shut up and be humble.
There is something to learn from everyone, even those who are doing it “wrong”.
@ladybirdgarton, I had never heard that before. Maybe because I needed to LISTEN more. That’s ggod stuff.
@RJR, Good question. I donate my ride home pretty much every day to talking to pastors about what is going on in their churches. I’m always happy to share the story of what God is doing here at CP with people who are interested.
Most of the time I think the time is very well used but there are times where I think the time could’ve been invested better for both of us because one or maybe all of the above guidelines were broken.
I had a long response prepared and deleted it… Merry Christmas.
Great post. My grandmother used to tell me “Pamela, God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen TWICE as much as you talk.” Good lesson from a wise woman who loved God with all her heart!
Dang, good stuff man. That post moved your blog up to a real leadership blog in my book. Very good advice. Thanks for sharing.
@Tony York, Dang, I feel ripped off.
@Pete. Do you see any benefit in attempting to meet with these people in person? I am in a stage in life where I feel God is asking me to listen and learn from some folks (a couple of them you mentioned above), but it just seems that a face-to-face produces so much more than a phone call sometimes. Since you use your time home that would be difficult, but have you ever taken someone up if they offered to drive in, buy you lunch/coffee, and promise to leave in an hour?
Duly noted. Will keep these things in mind when we chat in January.
Great thoughts Pete!
I’ve thought a lot about this because I think more and more we’ll see church leaders connecting with others and sharing information, encouragement, resources, etc. I’ve tried to keep it framed by thinking how a pastor in the 1st century would have felt if they had time with Peter or Paul or James or some other influential church leader. What questions are the most important? I don’t know, but requires some thought before you connect with them. My main mistake is when I accidentally run into them (like I did with Andy Stanley) then feel like a buffoon and ask stupid questions (like I did with Andy Stanley). Great post!
@Jeff Johnson, I totally agree. If you can get face to face time with a leader/pastor/mentor then by all means do it.
I personally prefer meeting with people in person but I know time and distance don’t always make this possible.
If you’re ever in the Nashville area I would love to hear more about what God is doing in your life and ministry.
Listening is critical to my business – but it took some time to really have points like these set into habit.
The people I learn from the most, though, are typically those whom I’d least expect to learn from – and they often leave the deepest footprints on my life.
Wow, these are great. My prayer for conversations with people, especially if it’s someone I want to learn from, is “Lord make my words few and true.” Few because I tend to ramble when I’m nervous or excited. True because I tend to exaggerate when I’m trying to impress someone.
So true in everyday life… I benefit so much more when I get filled up listening rather than empty myself out talking. I just have to remind myself of that in the middle of conversations sometimes
When Solomon asked for “wisdom” he received it by learning from the most educated down to the unschooled farmer. There are great pastors/leaders to whom we can learn a lot from, but there are those in lesser vocations that if we take the time to listen to, we’ll soon discover just how insightful they are. Solomon made it a point to connect with people of all status of life. He soon found wisdom by listening to them all. Because of this he was able to make very wise decisions throughout his life.
@Gloria, You’re totally right.
This post is not to say that we ONLY learn from the lead leaders in our areas of interest. It just states some suggestions for how you should learn from the lead leaders in your area of interest.
I learn every day from pastors and leaders of all sizes and stages of organizations.
Good post. Man I feel old.
That is some great advice and great way seeing those things… I could have used this post yesterday.
We attend and minister out of FBC Woodstock…Johnny Hunt, our pastor came to FBCW when I was a kid and he brought many many godly hero’s to eat at my moms house…we LOVED to listen and ask them questions! Now that I am older we do the same thing. Nothing bothers me more than for someone other than the guest of honor to monopolize the conversation…usually about himself!
great post. I just found your blog and really enjoyed the transparency and practical advice.
Great points Man!!!
Pete, great post. This is a great reminder for me when I learn from you and Jenni next month!
Thanks!
Jeff
Okay, left me deep thinking (see my blog!)
I know that I talk way TOO much and when I get nervous, that character flaw just gets worse! I will try to start putting these principles into practice!
Thank you!!!
this is rich with good stuff. thanks
Great suggestions. I hope I followed these in our phone interview about a month ago! Now I am a little nervous