Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Last week we took the boys to see Santa Claus. At this point all three of the boys still believe in him, but Jett (7) is certainly starting to ask a lot of questions. I’ve got a feeling this will probably be his last Christmas to believe in Santa.
You’ll also notice from the pictures below while all three boys believe in Santa one of them certainly does not like him!
I have to admit, I’ve felt a tinge of guilt about Santa this year. Especially with Jett as he is starting to ask a lot of questions and I feel like I’m having to make up things in order for him to still believe. When he finds out Santa is not real will he have a more difficult time trusting me in the future?
So I’ll give you two “all skate” questions and you can answer either or both.
1) How old were you when you stopped believing in Santa?
2) How do you deal with the whole Santa issue in your family?
105 Comments:
I can’t really remember when I found out.
With my kids, we let them know right off that he wasn’t real, more like one of the “Power Rangers”. a man in Uniform depicting a character. We still had their pictures made with him and enjoyed all the fun shows, cartoons, etc. They just knew he was a man dressed up representing a very good man from long ago.
Our reasons for NOT telling them there Was a Santa?
The very same problem you are facing now.
The biggest challenge when you kids KNOW he isn’t real?
Keeping them from telling the OTHER kids that still believed.
[Reply]
SHerri
9:34 am
I’m an only child and for years was also the only grandchild. I was probably almost 10! I was sorely disappointed and upset that my parents had really perpetuated a lie because to me finding out there was no Santa was very painful. So we have never done Santa with our children. We still do the same drill – stockings, put the gifts out after bedtime on Christmas Eve, etc. They just know they are from us. We play along and have a good time, but we just chose to not do Santa. They just always knew that Santa was Mom and Dad (well honestly, Santa was ME as I do all the shopping!).
I really don’t have any regrets about this but we did have some funny stories:
1) We read a book called “Santa are you for real?” to our kids and it talks about St. Nicholas and the good he did, pointing out his significance as a historical figure. We were at a restaurant one night and our daughter was about 2 1/2 and the waitress asked her “Honey, what is Santa going to bring you this year?”. Maria looked at her very seriously and with a very perplexed look on her face and said “Santa is dead.” I thought for sure we were going to get turned into child services for that one!
2) My middle child got so confused by teachers and every other adult in his life telling him Santa was real that he came home one day and said “mom, he really IS real, you just have to BELEIVE”.
Needleses to say, it’s not the easiest issue to navigate with children!
[Reply]
Jan Owen
9:38 am
You are opening a can of worms here, Pete. I hope you don’t regret it. Carlos (Ragamuffin) did this about a week ago and some very rude responses ensued. Hopefully LOVE shines through here on your blog.
I found out about Santa at 8 years old. I was ticked the heck off and felt like a fool. I proceeded to ruin Christmas for many, many kids by telling them that their parents were rotten liars and Santa is a fraud. Nice girl, eh?
We don’t do Santa. It’s a conviction like Halloween and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. We don’t like to think we’d be lying to our kids. However, they love Santa and so we treat him as we would Mickey Mouse. He’s fictional and fun and we still see Santa at the mall for pictures every year. We have Santa decor. The kids do not get gifts from Santa. We don’t judge those who do Santa either. It’s our thing.
Heidi Reed
[Reply]
candidchatter
9:41 am
My brother solved the problem very easily for both of us (he’s older) when he was 3 and had just been read “Burglar Bill” He then spent Christmas Eve night awake screaming because he thought Santa was going to come down the chimney and steal everything. My parents had to explain there and then that Santa didn’t exist. So we never had the Santa isn’t real but Jesus is malarky…
x
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Beautiful Intellectual
9:42 am
I am not sure when I stopped believing. No joke…up until the time I got married I would still get gifts from ‘Santa’. I think it was the way my mom justified spending so much to my dad!
How do we handle Santa? We do not do it here. I know, most of your readers will probably gasp at that! We spent quite a but of time thinking about this. We do not hind the character of Santa…he is everywhere and we are not about try to shelter the boys from that knowledge. However, we also don’t allow them to wish for Santa, write letters or receive gifts from him. WE never say he isn’t real…we let them figure that out. Isaiah looked at us last year and explained that Santa was a story because everyone knew that reindeer could not fly.
For us (and NO judgment here) it came down to trust. Heath really wanted to make sure that they boys would trust him when he would share about Christ…someone they can not see with their eyes. He really pondered if they would be able to understand why he led them to believe in someone that never existed for Santa would they be able to believe in Christ the same.
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fullofboys
9:46 am
My best friend in second grade told me! I was horrified. My 5 year old is asking some really hard questions & I hate for him to give up on the magic so soon! I had to tell him that Santa wakes me up to ask me to wrap gifts for him because he found the “Santa wrapping paper” I bought…and he is too smart not to put it together! He knows the mall Santas are “not real”…they are just Santa’s helpers. This morning he told his 3 year old brother (who wants an ipod touch like his daddy) that “it’s not about the presents..it’s about baby Jesus” My husband & I just looked at each other & smiled!
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MaryAZ
9:52 am
It’s crazy, but I cannot remember ever believing in Santa. My Mom was one of those with the idea that the first time we asked, she told us. She refused to lie to us.
.
Now then, my kids believe like most kids do. We figure some older kids at school will eventually tell them, but until then, I’ll be eating cookies and reading letters at 2am Christmas morning
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Toby
9:55 am
@beautiful intellectual, that is hilarious! I can so see that happening here.
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Pete Wilson
9:55 am
I don’t remember much about believing or not believing in Santa.
As for my kids….I have an 8 yr old this year and he said that he heard someone say that Santa is a myth….we didn’t want to lie but we didn’t want to ruin the fun (and he has a younger sister) so we told him that he can believe whatever he wants about Santa but let’s see what he gets under the tree if he stops believing. That kept him quiet. Well when we went to go see Santa he wasn’t sure he even wanted to ask for anything UNTIL his sister got up there and told Santa her name and Santa out of the blue guessed what she wanted (an elf overheard us talking in line and told Santa) but my sons eyes got huge and he said he definitely wanted to talk to Santa and I think he will be a believer for one more year but this will be his last.
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Sarah B
9:56 am
What? What do you mean? No Santa! Oh come on, Pete!
BELIEVE!
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Starwoodgal
9:57 am
Is it me, or, in the first picture, does Santa look a little less than thrilled to be there? I don’t remember when I stopped believing, I don’t specifically remember not getting something I HAD to have, but I do remember telling my younger brother the easter bunny and the tooth fairy didn’t exist and getting in trouble.
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Christina Schmidt
9:59 am
I was 7 or 8 and I walked into the living room as my parents were assemblying “Santa’s” gifts. They said they were just helping Santa… but after that I knew, and I wasn’t upset… I had younger siblings and enjoyed watching them “experience the magic of Santa”
[Reply]
Brittany
10:03 am
I don’t remember when I found out, just that I ‘wanted a drink of water’ so I went to the living room & mom was standing there with a bear that I got the next morning from ‘santa’. I kept it to myself though, I didn’t see the point in ruining it for Aaron.
In our family, Jonathan decided to tell T about 2 years ago when she was 8. He told her he was telling her because he wasn’t going to lie to her anymore. She said that she was going to choose to believe anyway. The faith of a child. He also told her that it would be extremely mean to tell other children who still believed. When he was in 5th grade the teacher said something about there not being a Santa and one of the little girls ran out of the room crying. He told T that he didn’t want that to be her. She took it very well, unless you consider denial bad….
[Reply]
Ammi
10:06 am
I never believed in Santa because I was too terrified at the thought of some strange man coming in our house while we were asleep. My parents had to reassure me that Santa was not real and that presents came from them.
For my kids, we’ve explained that Santa is a fun thing, but just pretend. It’s hard for little ones to understand that it’s not real when there are men dressed up as Santa everywhere and strangers, trying to be friendly, ask them if they’ve had their picture taken with Santa yet.
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juliepersinger
10:07 am
I think I believed until I was about ten. My mom and dad took great pleasure in playing up Santa and doing things to really make us believe he was there. One Christmas Eve when my brother and I were really hyper and would not go to sleep my dad sneaked out of the house and climbed up on the roof and stomped around. My mom said, “Ohhhh…you better get to bed, because HE’S HERE!” You better believe we went to bed. It wasn’t until years later that I learned/figured out the truth about the footsteps on the roof. I’ve not be fortunate enough to have kids, so I can’t speak into what’s the right age for Santa to disappear.
I got a big laugh out your pictures. In the first picture Santa looks weary, and in the second one he looks kind of panicked like maybe one of the boys had an accident on him. LOL!
[Reply]
thescribespen
10:18 am
i also have a 7 year old son and he has been asking some tough ‘Santa’ questions this year. if you figure out a good way to “break the news” please let us know
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Aaron
10:22 am
I remember….let me pause for a moment of silence….ok. One year we had moved to an old farm house out in the country. We did NOT have a fireplace. Our chimney led straight to our furnace. I became terrified that Santa was going to be burned to death at our house! After much crying…my mom helped me make signs to let Santa know to come in the side door. I remember telling her that he and the reindeer land on the roof….Sigh. I finally had to be told as I was just not believing he’s survive because of my house!!!
We don’t do Santa with our kids. We try our best to get them not to spoil it for others…don’t want hated too badly!!! We try hard to make Jesus the focus of Christmas.
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godzgaljen
10:24 am
I can’t remember how old I was when I found out but I remember how – my brother and I found a bunch of bags with toys in them early way before Christmas which all happened to be from Santa on Christmas morning.
As for our kids – we have three – 7, 8 and 12 and believe it or not, they all still believe. Now the oldest has asked questions before and I suspect that he knows but I think there is still a part of him that wants to believe it. He’s asked a lot of questions over the last few years and our normal response has been, “what do YOU believe”. My wife and I have actually had discussions recently as to whether we should sit down and tell him or not. One the one hand it would make it a LOT easier for us but on the other hand there is a part of us that wants to enjoy it one more year. I have a feeling we’ll probably sit down with him and explain it to him so as to avoid the whole “You lied to me” thing or him ruining it for his sisters. Once he knows I suspect he’ll be excited to be “in the know”.
I will also say, while there is room for Santa in our house, everyone of our kids knows and understands the real meaning of Christmas.
[Reply]
Jeff Honnold
10:25 am
@thescribespen, Funny how his “eyes” tell the whole story.
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Pete Wilson
10:26 am
Wait a minute…are you telling me that Santa isn’t real? I was wondering why he stopped coming once I moved away from my parents. I just thought I must have been on the naughty list. This explains alot. Thanks for ruining this for me, Pete.
[Reply]
Jason Hayes
10:31 am
I don’t have any deep words of advice (and its been so long ago since I was a kid). Heck I still believe in Santa Clause. Will have to ask my kids when it changed for them, but I don’t recall any big fight over it. Of course you are talking to the Disneyqueen and we still belive in Mickey, Cinderella and Stitch
[Reply]
Cyndi
10:37 am
By the way, that can’t be the real Santa because he would never have that look on his face. As a matter of fact he looks a bit to young to be Santa!
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Cyndi
10:38 am
I really don’t remember when I stopped believing in Santa. I was the oldest of four and never said anything to my siblings, just kept it to my self. I have five children, two are grown with children of their own. While we focus on Jesus, there is a Santa.
When my children would tell me that a friend or sibling told them that there is no Santa, I would just say “how terrible they don’t believe, because the moment you stop believing, Santa stops coming.” My older children still get a gift from Santa. I don’t know how old each of my children were when they found out, but I do know they never ruined it for others. My youngest is twelve and this year he told me that it was okay, Santa didn’t have to bring gifts…”I know mom! I just tured to him and said…Oh buddy, YOU haven’t stopped believing? I have an ornament that says: the moment you stop believing, Santa stops comming. He’ll be here this year.
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Mare
10:39 am
I was in the second or third grade. It didn’t negatively impact me. I do feel guilty though about making fun of a girl in 4th grade who still believed. Make sure he knows the truth before his classmates make fun of him.
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debbieinnashville
10:41 am
my parents never perpetuated santa, if we asked my mom said he is a character and imaginary, and none of our presents were ever labeled “From Santa” but there is (all my brothers and sisters are 20+ but still go home for christmas) still going to be an unwrapped present for each of us, that has just always assumed the “From Santa” label.
I found out when I was six. I know where my parents hide the presents, and I found everything. this will be the first year I haven’t snuck into the closet to check, but of course, there is still time…
I was 6 when I figured it
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ben stroup
10:43 am
We like to joke and pretend about Santa around here. But we never try to tell them that he is real. He’s just like any other character that they play-act. But me, when I was a kid: NO Santa, not ever. I really believe it was because my dad had been so hurt by the lie. I’m not trying to say that could happen with Jett, but I always felt like it was one of those deep seeded things between by dad and his dad. It’s so funny though, my dad really enjoys joking about Santa with MY kids. I think he’s realizing that he went a little overboard.
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Sarah Valente (kingdom twindom)
10:46 am
I think I was about 7 or 8 when I found out Santa wasn’t real, but I don’t remember being upset with my parents at all. I don’t remember my parents lying to me to keep me believing when I got older. I pretty much came up with the answers to my questions myself. For instance, one Christmas I found the boxes my toys came in in the garage. I told my mom that Santa must have left them there in case there was a problem with any of the toys, we could send them back. I also decided that since we didn’t have a fireplace, that Santa must have a “master key” like the cleaning people at hotels. (This was back when hotel rooms actually had keys instead of the cards they use now.) My daughter is only 17 months old, but I think I’ll handle Santa the way my mom did. I’ll allow her to believe, but when she starts asking questions, I’ll turn them back to her. I can always answer her question with another question such as, “What do YOU think?” Even at her young age, I’m still trying to teach her about Jesus and that Christmas is about His birthday. I don’t see anything wrong with having Santa and Jesus in our house.
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Jennifer
10:46 am
I was about 5 and I don’t remember anyone telling me he didn’t exist nor do I remember it being a big deal. Or maybe it was so traumatic I have blocked all memories – lol just kidding!
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christina
10:49 am
I don’t remember how I found out or how old I was, but I do remember being “in” on the secret when my little brother still believed. I thought that was so cool, that my parents trusted me with their secret.
My parents went to North Pole, Alaska this year and registered EC at “Santa’s house”. He got a letter in the mail from Santa, with a Good List sticker and a childrens book. This has thrown my neice for a loop. She is 9 and is starting to ask alot of questions. The letter post marked from the North Pole has her really confused. I hope that she believes for just one more year.
[Reply]
ladybirdgarton
10:51 am
This is a subject that I am passionate about. My sister and I were in the 6th grade when we found out that there was no Santa. It makes people laugh that we were so old, but we had no reason not to believe. We had been taught to believe what our parents told us..everything they said, so we did. We were also taught not to lie, so we never thought our parents did. We were at school when we found out, a teacher told us. We were both crying in the bathroom from embarrassment and grief. When we got home, we asked our mom and she told us that there was no Santa (or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy etc). It was sad to find out that we had been “lied” to for so long. I don’t blame my parents, they just wanted us to be “little girls” forever, but it did cause us to wonder “what else isn’t true”? We grew up in church and were taught about Jesus from an early age, but was everything they told us about him and the Bible like Santa Claus?…It took some time to get all of the confusion resolved. Now that I have children of my own, I don’t talk about Santa. I have not said “there’s no such thing”, we just don’t mention it. But, I will tell them the truth. I want them to always trust what I say and never doubt.
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Lindsey
10:53 am
I am with starwoodgal…what do you mean there is No Santa? I do not think Rudolph will bwe happy with you!
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tasithoughts
10:57 am
I think I was about 10…I am still not quite over it. I really believed and I swear I heard Santa’s sleigh on our roof each year. I love to see kids using their imagination…but I am really torn about trying to convince Micah that he is real, only to let him down later in life. Hope to get some insight from other people…One thing that is great about Santa…you can bribe your kids to be good for a month!!!! That might come in handy next year!
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Laura
10:57 am
We didn’t “lie” to our children about Santa, although we did put out stockings on Christmas Eve. From the time they were tiny, we told them about the real St. Nicholas — a man who went about giving gifts to the poor. We told them we would fill their stockings to remember his kind acts. Our kids new all along that Santa wasn’t real, but we played the game (still do) and at the same time gave them something true and meaningful to think about.
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Juli Jarvis
11:02 am
I never believed…and our kids never “believed” they always knew the real reason for Christmas. Hwoever, that doesn’t mean Santa was forbidden. We still like the idea of Santa and talk about the presents he’ll bring, but my kids always knew it was just for fun. They knew the real reason for the season was the celebratin of Jesus birth.
I’m sad to admit I was the kid at school who burst everyone’s bubbles about Santa.
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Mary
11:02 am
I am not trying to be super spiritual or anything, but Nicki brought up a point that I have never thought of. If we teach our kids that ‘Santa won’t come’ or ‘Santa will give you a bag of coal’ if you are bad, will they believe that’s how they have to approach Jesus…that they can only win his approval through ‘being good.’
I don’t think it will…but it made me think a little.
My only fear about my oldest learning that Santa is not real is that he will ruin my youngest two’s fun of being a child and believing that he is real, because once he finds out, there will be no stopping him from ruining it for the other two…plus on the parenting side, Santa brings me two benefits #1 I have Santa’s phone #, and I can call him anytime the kids are not behaving (I don’t want to lose that…that’s a good one – that’s what provoked my wife’s question) #2 If Santa cannot bring some of the presents the kids ask for, well, its Santa’s fault and dad is still the good guy. Santa gets to be the fall guy!
[Reply]
ncarnes
11:04 am
It’s interesting that you pose this question, as my husband and I were recently talking about how we might approach the issue with our future kids. You see, in my family, my parents never told us that Santa, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy will real. I remember them telling me at 5 years old that they would never lie to me, and assuring me that these characters were not real. I still enjoyed every holiday just like any other kid would. I took pictures with Santa at the mall and watched Christmas movies, etc. And, as I became older and realized that what my parents had told me WAS true, it made me trust them even more. In my household, there was also always a strong emphasis on Jesus being the reason for the season. We always read the story of the nativity and prayed before even opening presents.
My husband, on the other hand, did believe in Santa as a kid, and doesn’t really remember learning that Santa wasn’t real. So, he doesn’t really see any traumatic effects in raising your kids to believe. I think, though, that because he is the younger of two kids, he probably learned more quickly from his brother and friends that Santa wasn’t real. Perhaps his brother may have a more prominent recollection of the discovery.\
Having said all of that, I personally do not want to raise our kids to believe in Santa. I just think that they aren’t missing out on anything if they don’t believe in Santa. I want my kids to know that it’s about Jesus more than anything else. And I recently had someone bring up a good point to me that you don’t want your kids to believe that Jesus is like Santa Clause (a make-believe, magical character).
In the end, I think it’s up to each person to make the right choice for them and their family. I don’t have any issues with other parents teaching their kids to believe. To me, the pros just don’t outweigh the cons.
I pray that God will help you approach the situation with your kids with wisdom and grace- that you would know the right ways to respond as Jett asks questions. And, I hope that no one gives you too hard of a time as a previous commenter warned…
[Reply]
Mandy
11:06 am
@ncarnes, that is exactly what I’m struggling with. I don’t want my kids perception of Santa to get projected on God.
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Pete Wilson
11:08 am
I don’t remember when it was, but I do remember pretending to believe for a couple of extra years because my mom still believed
I did not grow up in a Christian home and Jesus only showed up in the manger at Christmas. Somewhere in my young mind, when Santa wasn’t real, Jesus was just another figurine that came out a Christmas time.
I don’t have kids now, but if I ever do… they will have to believe because my mom STILL believes.
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karen
11:10 am
I stopped believing at about 9. But only because kids at school told me. My parents never told me the truth about him. But they weren’t believers or involved parents, so they didn’t care if the trust was gone.
I told my oldest the truth when she started questioning. I said to my oldest “you’re so smart, you figured it out! But let’s keep it a surprise & see how long it takes your sister to figure it out.”
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mandy
11:10 am
The question of Santa was decided for us when our daughter was about 3 years old. We watched the Christmas specials and she knew about Santa . .but our lives were also filled with church activities associated with a believer’s home. One night as I was putting her to bed . .she asked me “Which one is real . . Jesus or Santa . . .I keep forgetting” I decided right there, there would NEVER be an opportunity given in our home for our children to “forget” which was real.
Santa is a nice story . . but I don’t understand why believers would ever want to make their children believe that he is real. Do we deceive our children about anything else?
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Lori
11:10 am
I was about 9 i think. I heard our back door open and close and got up to look outside. There in about 6 inches of snow I spotted someone getting what looked to be like gifts out of our camper in the backyard. I wanted it to be Santa so bad but it was my Dad instead. Instead of anger I felt sad because they got caught and I never told them until years later.
Now for my own children, I tell them they have a choice to believe or not. I told them they will always get presents on Christmas morning either way. If they want to believe that Santa delivers their gifts they can or if they choose not to believe then we(parents) will deliver the gifts. But believing that Santa does exist is so much fun. That is what they tell their friends at school so they have never been bothered by the fact some kids don’t believe he is real.
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Marla P
11:11 am
Man, you people are some downers!! I found out when I was little and it didn’t do anything to ruin Christmas for me! Just made me appreciate the fact that my parents went to such great lengths for it to be magical and special!
Pete, you will be just fine when the time comes to tell your kids about the historical figure of Santa!
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DubHow
11:20 am
Well, right up until I read Pete’s all skate this morning! Actually, I was a notorious snoop when I was a kid, and one year I was snooping in the basement and found a bunch of christmas presents, including my Red Ryder BB gun (you’ll shoot your eye out kid!). I never told anyone I found the presents, I just waited for Christmas day to open a present from mom and dad and see my bb gun. Imagine my surprise when on Crustmas day the BB gun was labeled from Santa. It was all over then.
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Michael
11:21 am
Surpised Jett didn’t notice Santa’s mustache covers the bottom portion of his nose….weird!
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Lisa
11:23 am
I don’t know what age I stopped believing in Santa…probably about the time that my mom got tired of staying up late till I was asleep. How do I deal with the Santa thing with three kids? God gets all the credit. I have no problme with pretending, it just leaves a false hope in me and the kids. No, there is no false hope in Christ. Trust me, I am not getting religious on you…..been there done that. But if God empowers me to get wealth, and I give to my kids….then to God be the glory and not a fat man in a cool red suit. Santa was a true giver and inspired others to give with his story, but the miracle of giving comes from the giver of life. Man, when I chose to take this way of thinking with my children years ago, my out-laws really thought we stole something from our kids. I simply told them that we were giving them something “real” to believe in.
Hey, would be good to hear back form you from time to time. I know you get a lot of comments….
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Joey
11:29 am
PS…..the youngest looks like he is really having a blast….hee hee!
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Joey
11:31 am
I was seven, about to turn eight when I knew for sure and admitted I knew.
When my mom admitted to me they had been telling me stories, I immediately wanted to know if God was make believe too.
I want my son to believe in santa but I also don’t want this to happen!
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Jamie
11:34 am
I was never raised to believe in Santa even though I so desperately wanted to experience the joy and excitement that all the other kids experienced on Christmas morning. I believe not only I but also my parents missed out on the biggest action of pretending and who doesn’t want to pretend about something at some point in their life.
Now has for our family, I believe the Santa thing has always been more for us parents then for our children because there is something about waiting for our boys to go to bed so we can have the pleasure of arranging all the unwrapped gifts in such a way their eyes light up with excitement on Christmas morning as they see what was left under the tree for each of them on Christmas Eve night.
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Vick
11:42 am
Well, I think the Santa thing is cool… (or Satan, says Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady”) … but what I had the problem with is when my mom started kissing him. This led to a host of other issues in my life, and tons of questions. “Is adultery okay?” “Will I still get presents if I tell my dad about mom kissing Santa?” etc…
Just sayin.
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evanblackerby
11:46 am
I expected this to be a bigger issue in our family than it has been. Our kids (8,6,4,2) have focused on Jesus and know that that is the whole reason we celebrate Christmas and Santa is just an extra. We only give our kids 3 toys, drawing parallels to the wisemen gifts. We spend the whole month celebrating the indescribeable gift of Jesus. Our kids will hear songs on the radio describing what Christmas means and they will say, “but Christmas is really only about Jesus’s birth”. My 6 year old did ask me if Santa was at the manger when Jesus was born, so we have a few things to still work out…
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Paces
11:47 am
@evanbackerby, I needed that laugh today. You crack me up!
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Pete Wilson
11:49 am
I don’t remember when I found out. My daughter is almost 9 and she apparently still believes. I can’t believe the kids on the bus have not told her otherwise. She does have many questions though. Sometimes the worst, are how Santa brings some kids lots and lots of things and other kids hardly get anything. We struggle to answer those questions.
Someone already told her the tooth fairy was not real. I can’t believe she hasn’t figured it out. My son has asked how Santa fits down the fireplace.
Last year the kids had me put a blanket over our new dog’s crate, so that she didn’t bark at Santa Christmas Eve.
My husband enjoys eating the cookies that are left out for santa, of course.
My guess is that this will be her last year believing.
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Christy
11:50 am
We still like Santa around here. My kids are 8 and 5. When the time comes to spill the beans, I’ll have a book about the real St Nicholas close at hand. For now they totally understand they get gifts because it is Jesus’ birthday. Santa is fun … just not the focus. So far, so good.
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Lori Wilhite
11:52 am
I don’t remember how old I was, but I was completely crushed when I found out. I do not have kids, but I support those who do and who do not lie to their kids and allow them to believe Santa is real. I’m sure it’s a tough decision to make, so I don’t comdemn the ones who do allow their kids to believe in Santa…that’s a tough one!
[Reply]
Heather
11:58 am
I never believed in Santa, but we didn’t celebrate Christmas when I was a kid.
With my two year old, we do celebrate Christmas, but I’ve already told her that Santa is pretend. I know she’s probably too young to understand that, but I wanted to start early. She might be smarter than I realize because she goes around saying, “Santa’s pretend, Elmo’s pretend, Clifford’s pretend, Jesus is real, God is real, Mommy is real…” We’ll probably do the Santa pictures, but I just want her to know it’s just for fun and not real.
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jenn3
12:10 pm
I wasn’t particularly upsert when I found out, but yet again I found out when I was in 4th grade, which is a bit too long if you ask me. I think that anytime between 1st and 3rd grade is appropriate when it comes to telling kids.
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nigel
12:17 pm
oh, and Pete, that top photo of Gage, Jett, and Santa makes it obvious that Gage got most of his genes from you. Just look at his smile!
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nigel
12:22 pm
Pete, from the earliest we told our daughter that Santa was a fantasy character made up to help celebrate Jesus’ birth. So while we acknowledged Santa, we never wanted to have to make up stories that weren’t true and damage our credibility! After all, we are the same ones telling her that Jesus is real. And at the earliest of ages 2 – 3 and 4 we thought that was pretty important.
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Mike in Milwaukee
12:40 pm
“@ncarnes, that is exactly what I’m struggling with. I don’t want my kids perception of Santa to get projected on God.
Pete Wilson said this on December 12, 2008 at 11:08 am”
Pete, I meant to add in my earlier post that while my mother and father really played up Santa I don’t remember having any disillusionment about God when I realized Santa wasn’t real. My parents are wonderful, committed Christians. They always told me that the real reason for Christmas was Jesus, and because of that I did not have a crisis of faith when I realized Santa wasn’t real. I knew it was just a part of childhood like fairy tales and make believe. I always knew Jesus was the real deal.
So, as long as you are firmly planting in their minds that Jesus is real and separate from Santa Claus I don’t think your kids will have a problem when they realize that Santa is a fairy tale character. JMO.
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thescribespen
12:41 pm
Too old to admit now…let’s not go there.
Karen and I go back and forth on how far to take it all. I’m at a complete loss in how to handle it. For me (being a guilt ridden recovering Methodist) Santa’s judging character was without a doubt projected onto God. With Santa, as with God, if you screwed up you’d be punished. With God that’s actually true but He also offered us forgiveness through Christ. But the Santa story leaves out the forgiveness part. Strange….I honestly hadn’t thought about that until this very moment. I’m not sure which is more mind boggling– that forgiveness isn’t part of Santa’s story, or that I hadn’t noticed that until now).
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Bill Renfrew
12:42 pm
Pete, there is such think as Saint Nick. He was devoted Christian who gave to the needy. He gave his wealth to those who deserved. He is still alive and every year at Christmas he is in our hearts. Tell me one person who would not rather give than receive. Greed is not a Christian value so there for St. Nick does not live through then, but he always will with the christians who bring joy to others. So the next time you children ask if there is a Santa Claus, you can honestly say “Yes”.
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me
12:47 pm
Only when my kids directly asked me “Mom, is there really a Santa?” did I tell them the answer. And I was just as worried as you that they would say, “gasp, you’ve lied to me all these years!” and never trust me again. But that didn’t happen. With the first one, he was about 7 and asked me out of the blue, in the car on the way to a birthday party he was attending. I was inspired and said something wise and poignant. Wish I could remember what!
Basically I think I’ve told them all something like, “Santa was a real person named Saint Nick (insert brief story about St. Nick here.) We like to play along with the Santa game because it’s fun for kids to believe in Santa. But really your dad and I are putting the gifts under the tree for you because we love you so much. Please don’t spoil the game for anyone else in the family or any of your friends at school!” And then we would offer to let them help us be “elves” and put the gifts under the tree for their siblings, even if it meant we had to wake them up on Christmas Eve to do it.
Worked like a charm. This is the first year we have not had someone who believed in Santa, so our gifts are all under the tree already, and my closet is nice and empty!
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Jan Connair
12:53 pm
I think my mom was trying to be efficient, because she told me about how Santa, the north pole, the tooth fairy, and anything else I loved was fiction all at the same time. I might have gotten the sex talk that day too… it’s all blurry since I was like 6.
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ryanguard
1:01 pm
I don’t even want to delve into this issue. Besides, I don’t have kids yet – so my 2 cents on the topic would be null and void anyway!
Just wanted to comment to say how cute the pictures are! Especially the one with Brewer.
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Sarah Joy
1:04 pm
The reason Brewer is so upset is because he didn’t have on a Christmas sweater like his brothers.
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me
1:18 pm
Being the youngest of six I faked believing for a few years because my older siblings explained that as long as I believed, everyone would still get good Santa gifts.
I never once associated Santa with Jesus… we knew what Christmas was about, and we knew that Santa started with St. Nicholas so it seemed pretty believable that he started out small and worked his way up to the full Santa village as a way to do nice things. When I figured it out it was kind of a “You’re one of the big kids now” kind of things, and was assured St. Nicholas was a true story that was just made more fun. I never once wondered about Jesus.
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gitz
1:38 pm
We didn’t “do” Santa with the older kids and then for some reason, when the youngest came, I wanted to do that with her. She is 4 and I have been plagued with guilt this year because it is a lie. So, I told her the truth. She doesn’t believe me. LOL
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Julie
2:05 pm
I grew up believing in Santa, and when I found out(3rd grade) I did not feel betrayed by my mom at all. I never thought about Santa in the same category as Jesus, so that concept is totally foreign to me. We do Santa for my 6 and 3 year old, but only as an aside of the Christmas season, not the purpose.
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sally
2:20 pm
Can’t remember ever believing in Santa and my kids don’t believe. We chose to make sure they knew the truth by the time they were in kidnergarten.
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Tony York
2:21 pm
i was 3 years old when i found out Santa was my dad. there was a knock on the front door Christmas Eve night and everyone kept yelling for me to come downstairs and open the door (guess we didnt have a chimney) so i ran down the stairs (and yes, i do remember this very well) i opened the door, my eyes got huge and i heard my mom yell from behind me “d*mn it, john, you forgot your belt!!” i instantly started crying. tragic i tell ya.
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tam
2:32 pm
I was probably around 7 or 8 when I stopped believing in Santa.
As far as our kids go we have always treated Santa as a character of the Christmas season. It was the grandparents that had issue with us not “doing” Santa. So after the first couple of years we finally said the Santa comes to grandma’s house.
We have also made sure that our kids knew that some kids do believe in Santa and so that they should not ruin that for other kids.
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Stacy
2:33 pm
Isn’t it interesting how everyone had completely different responses when finding out about Santa? Just shows you how different we’re all wired.
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Pete Wilson
2:34 pm
What? There’s no Santa. Come on!!!
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bradreis
2:35 pm
Stopped believing in Santa? What…do you mean…oh my…I’m going to into a corner to cry!
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Peter Carino
2:36 pm
Devastating topic Pete. I don’t remember my age, probably 13…..just kidding….but I do remember the circumstances and it really was awful and established mis-trust in many things.
I decided I wasn’t going to show my mom my Christmas list and that I was going to mail it to Santa MYSELF! And guess what, I got NUTHIN’ that I asked for.
I was so devastating at the time.
I honestly don’t know if the whole Santa thing is healthy or not on a few levels.
Christmas, as we all know, has really turned into a commercial enterprise and has nothing to do with Christ. I often still refer to Santa Clause as ‘Satan Claws’. It’s sort of true. And I heard recently that Santa didn’t start wearing a red suit until the Coca-Cola company put one on him. I haven’t done the research to see if this is actually true or not.
Anyway, I only think lying is good in dire circumstances like when the Nazi’s come to your door and ask if there are any Jews in the house. Extreme metaphor, but trust is key and there’s gotta be a balance somehow.
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JW
2:41 pm
I think I was 8 when I found out, but my younger brother was still a believer so it was fun to play along. We still get to enjoy Santa at our house, but my kids are 2 and 3. This is the first year that they are both really getting into it. We are trying to emphasize Jesus and I am still working on my plan as to how to tell my kids without betraying their trust.
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Chris
2:44 pm
i will simply say that if you previously went to see “santa” at the now-defunct bellevue mall, you will believe me when i say he took extended “reindeer-feeding” breaks and smelled like a distillery. he actually ran up behind my kids as we walked through the mall and started tickling them and dancing like a deranged elf. made quite an impact. sadly, i am relatively convinced he is now our ice cream man….
good times.
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Angie
2:47 pm
I never really believed he was real…but we still pretended and enjoyed doing it. I didn’t feel I was missing out at all — just like we played doctor & house – I loved playing that there was a santa that could somehow fit down our wood burning stove. I loved the way my parents did that.
If we lie about santa being real to our kids will our kids trust us when we tell them to believe us that Jesus was actually real? Because the world will try to convince them Jesus was just an ideology and a legend passed down. That he was just made up. but I want to do whatever I can for my son to believe me that Jesus was an actual real person that was baby Jesus long ago. That He was an actual human but also God and was physically on earth and He physically was born, died and rose again to save the world. I don’t know if lying about santa will automatically make kids not trust us about Jesus…. but it’s not worth the risk for me.
there must be a separation between fairytales like Santa & Jesus?/God.
we still pretend about Santa a lot though! It’s fun to have imaginations together!
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randi :)
2:48 pm
I was really lucky with my three kids because we were missionaries and in Argentina they didn’t celebrate Santa claus, they celebrated the 3 kings the first week in January. Christmas in the christian homes was Jesus’ birth so we lucked out. However, when my grandchildren came along, that little stinker Carrington was so observant and since I watched her daily while George and Debbie worked, Carrington asked me in her most serious tone if Santa was real. I could feel the sweat pouring down my face. I told her she needed to ask her parents when they got home. She said…”Nana…you never lie to me”, tell me if Santa is real. Hoboy…I told her about St Nick and that was true, but the Santa of the USA was not. Now today as Carrington is 16..she says she wishes I would have lied to her, that I took the spirit of christmas away from her. Geez, can’t win for tryin. lol
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Gloria
3:04 pm
For me I never was able to experience the whole believe in Santa thing, I never was taken to sit on his lap nothing.
However to find balance from that and my JR Hairball, I did allow him to learn the feeling and special tingle you get thinking of Santa Clause. But I took it to a different place, when he asked me point Blank do you Believe in Santa Mom, I said Jr Hairball I do I believe in the “SPIRIT” the spirt that brings santa and the joy of the season.
So from there its been built, he is a little older then your JETT, but I see him learning, I never have lied to him or avoided any of his questions, I want him to know I have been honest with him.
So a few years ago when he was still wondering if there was a Santa, We began a tradition, when we put our Christmas tree up, after all the mess was cleaned up we would make a big fluffy bed on the floor and get a special take out dinner and snuggle up and watch Christmas movies all evening and then fall asleep under the Christmas tree.
But last year it took on a whole new meaning, because we watched a Christmas movie called “The Christmas shoes” while watching this movie we both began to cry my Jr Hairball reached for me and kissed me (YOU know the kind that makes your toes curl with sweetness) well I started to jst giggle to lighten the mood, and he kissed me again and I giggled even harder, he finally asked me why I had gone crazy, and I looked at him and said because You jst gave me some Christmas spirit.
So now he plays along as if he believes, but I think he knows the truth, but when he wrapped his gifts this year he signed the tag “Jr Clause” or “Elf in Training” he now sees that Santa may not be a real person but the SPIRIT of joy family love and giving is OH so very real. He even with out my knowledge donated his last $5 to a bucket drive there doing at his school for low income children. In his heart he is learning that He is indeed Santa!
I hope the transition Jett will find is not a loss in something he believed in but a new found joy in what Spirit of Christmas can bring.
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kel
3:04 pm
Well, I personally won’t tell my kids there is a Santa. Ever. Why? Well God told us not to lie. Period. There was no, “unless it is popular culture”. I don’t want my children to ever believe I’ve lied to them, or instill any kind of mistrust in them. You open one little door that mommy might be withholding truth and years later Satan can use that to make them doubt you. I don’t want that. I’ll teach them who St. Nicholas was and thats about it. I don’t put up a tree either. We have a birthday cake, spend time on the story of Jesus and reflecting about God’s gift to us and then exchange a few (not many) gifts as a remembrance of that. That’s it. This whole time of year upsets me because people are so busy, they spend more time shopping than talking to God… and its all about US, and SANTA, and decorating. Could you imagine what we could do as a body if all the money we waste on decorations, wrapping paper, marketing, etc was used to be the KINGDOM on earth? I’m talking millions of dollars. Do you think Jesus would have told his kids there was a santa clause? Yeah, neither do I.
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Ronni
3:07 pm
Since I am the oldest, there was a bit of responsibility attached to the “knowledge” since we had to keep up the pretense for my little sister. It made me feel a little like a big girl…Softened the blow somewhat.
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bookworm
3:08 pm
Those pics are priceless!
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Megan
3:23 pm
1) I think I was six. My dad never liked the whole thing for the same reasons you are unsure about it. He had issues with it taking the focus off of the birth of Christ. Since he was grumbly about any mention of Santa, I had my suspicions. I was still sad to find out the truth.
2. I have always presented Santa, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy as a fantasy game that we play. I didn’t give big theological lessons, I just said, “It’s time to play Santa!” I also told them they couldn’t tell their friends that we ‘play’ Santa because their friends believe Santa is real.
I have them help wrap gifts, I take them to shop for angel tree children (why would they need to buy gifts for poor children if Santa were real?), I talk to them about people who don’t celebrate Christmas, etc.
We enjoy the movies, songs, and other Santa things, but it has always been like something from a storybook for us. My 9 yo says if she had believed she “would have found out by talking with other kids or checking him out on Snopes.com,” so it’s good that we were straight with her.
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Anita
4:12 pm
My mom told me, when I asked, that Santa represented the spirit of giving at Christmas. I thought, okay, makes sense to me.
With my kids, I didn’t want for them to put Santa over Jesus at Christmas. We told them we could pretend about Santa like we pretend about other things during play time. It’s a fun story.
But at about 6 years old when we talked about it with our baby, Emma, she was furious with us. She said she believed and didn’t care what we said. So we let her go with that.
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Robin
4:18 pm
@Anita, that’s a good balance!
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Pete Wilson
5:10 pm
ok I was 11 when I “found” out there was no Santa that brought presents. My dad was laid off from work a month or so before christmas and at the time there were 8 kids. I remember laying on the bed and looking out the window at the sky just waiting for Santa to come, well he never did and at first I was sad, but my sister who was three years younger than me said that he did come for my “mom and dad” she had wrapped a “present” (mostly tape and torn wrapping..lol) she handed it to my mom and it was a pinecone she made that had still wet glue and green glitter all over it I remember thinking ” santa didn’t come for us he came for mom and dad” and somehow I was ok with that we had the best time as a family that christmas. You know what, this is the one christmas I remember the most not because I found out the “truth” but I SAW the spirit of christmas in action through my 8 year old sister…….we teach our children about Jesus but we have/do Santa my kids are 14, 13 and 11 and my two oldest “know” but weren’t mad or upset when they found out. If anything we played the whole “there is a Santa” so well they didn’t want to tell us that there wasn’t a Santa…LOL they like to talk about the stuff I did to make it “appear” as if Santa did come…..LOL ooo and my daughter was the one that never liked sitting on Santa’s lap when she was 3 she told him “I sit next to you my bruva’s sit on u’r legs”lol
sorry so long…
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Yvette
6:23 pm
I think on some level I kind of always knew there wasn’t a santa. I wasn’t upset when I found out. Same as the easter bunny and the tooth fairy wasn’t real but you had to believe in them for them to come.
My Mum tried to make me believe in santa until I was in my 20s! Lol. I kinda found out from friends that he definitely wasn’t real probably when I was your son’s age. I asked my Mum and she didn’t deny it, but did tell me that ‘if you don’t believe in santa he doesn’t come’ so I’d go along with the usual christmas eve things of ‘don’t come into the living room just now’…’shout up the chimney’…’leave something out for santa & rudolph’ and ‘go to sleep so santa comes’…
It also meant that when my younger sister and brother came along, I was into the spirit of it all so it was fun for them.
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brunettekoala
6:55 pm
Is it just me or does Santa look stoned…
I don’t have a good story. i grew up in a family that never believed in Santa. He was part of the season, but no Christmas Eve Santa stories or chimney tales.
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brent(inWorship)
7:49 pm
Santa is not real Pete? Well Crap!
I guess I sat on his lap and asked for a scooter for nothing
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Joseph
8:16 pm
I actually never believed in Santa Claus. I don’t really feel like I missed out on much.
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Jennifer
9:11 pm
When Kyla was old enough to ask “IS SANTA REAL” and mean it, she was old enough to know the truth…sadly, it was in KINDERGARTEN!! However, we related it along with The Three Little Pigs, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty…you get the picture.
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OCD-ism/Obsessive Christian Disorder
10:36 pm
thanks for the comment! i was just reading the comments about this same topic at ragamuffinsoul.com…. it’s interesting. i think carlos said it best, that santa is one day and Jesus had better be 365 days. and that’s what makes the difference.
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amykay
2:15 am
At age 47 I still believe in Santa Claus, in the “Yes Virginia” sense of belief. My 10-year old god-daughter passed from the simple belief (including the belief that I was a close personal friend of Santa) to the “Yes Virginia” belief two years ago. She made the transition all on her own without any trauma at all.
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Jim Hall
3:32 am
I haven’t read any other comments, and I’m sure this has been said, but we choose to tell our kids the truth about Santa simply because we want them to trust what we are teaching them about Jesus.
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Brett
9:46 am
Santa is making a cameo in our house but we’re trying to keep Jesus the star of the day.
Jon
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Jon Acuff
2:28 pm
@angie you certainly know how to make me laugh. Your poor children being chased thru the mall and tickled by a distillery smelling santa is a scary thought!! yuck!!
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Iris
9:05 pm
I don’t know that I ever really truly believed. Maybe my sister told me to pretend or something. I do remember always being scared of him though. I always cried but it was worse with the Easter Bunny! Once my small group leader wanted to do something special for our group (we were 13) so she took us to dinner and got our nails painted for Christmas…then she kept talking about this special surprise. It was her dad, who was a professional Santa. He came as we were doing our gift exchange and she had told him I didn’t like santa so he gave me a hard time and I flipped out!
we all laugh now as we remember me falling off the couch trying to get away. Poor Brewer.
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seekingrecklessabandon
10:33 pm
I was 9 years old when I found out the truth about santa.
With my own kids, we never included him in our Christmas celebration. Even now as I think about Christmas as a catholic kid, I always felt like the Jesus part of Christmas was an after-thought. I was obsessed with the anticipation of what santa might be bringing each year. Santa always came to our house while we went out looking at lights on Christmas Eve (a caper that my folks pulled off flawlessly each year)… later that night when mom cracked the whip about midnight mass, my sister and I would each throw fits about not wanting to leave our new stash of toys to go to church.
My wife and decided early on that we never wanted our kids to be conflicted at all with what Christmas is about.
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murphy24p
10:51 pm
I am 45, and I still believe in Santa, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Seriously, I was in about the 5th grade, argued with my classmates about it. Then my older neighbor told me. Rotten boy.
Our children, 8 and 12, pretty much know the truth, although I like to mess with them. “Well, if you don’t believe in Santa, then he won’t believe in you, and you won’t get any presents.”
They are so funny.
They know that Christmas is about the birth of Christ, and sometimes we even bake a birthday cake and sing happy birthday to Jesus.
The Pastor at our previous church dressed up as Santa and did the kneeling Santa. He explained how each part of Santa’s outfit related to Christ, such as the black boots standing for sin, the red suit standing for the Blood of Christ, the white fur and beard for the cleansing of our sins, etc. It was really great. He, however, also explained to the adults while the children were in children’s church that perpetuating a belief in Santa could undermine a child’s belief in Christ. If one is a myth, why not the other? One time when his 2nd child was about 4, a waitress asked him what Santa was going to bring him for Christmas. The child’s response was “Santa isn’t going to bring me anything. God supplies all of my needs.”
Out of the mouths of babes. This is what I am trying to instill in my children. I have explained to them that Santa is not so much a person as an idea of helping others and giving. We also help an angel tree child each year, with the children helping pick out the presents. I love playing Mrs. Claus, and I will always believe in the magic of Christmas.
Ps. Due to my husband, there is not a star or angel on top of our tree. Our tree is topped by the Grinch. It is, after all, truly a story of redemption and forgiveness too.
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Paula
12:29 am
isaiah lives for christmas and he is asking a lot of questions as well. i hope when he figures it out he does not lose faith, hope, or the joy.
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brewster
3:38 pm
I was in Africa when I found out. The first 2 years we were there I was so worried about how he was going to get from America to Congo in time! How would he ever find me out in the middle of the bush?? We had this 30 foot tall chimney, and I thought for sure he would burn up in his suit on the way to our mission station, or down that chimney. He made it the first two years. Then, my two older sisters decided enough was enough and informed me with little grins that he was not real. I was devastated! I’ve recovered! I think.
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Todd
1:04 am
santa was at our church on sunday!!
there’s a picture on our webpage-http://www.lacasadecristo.com. john the baptist was there too. (that’s what happens when a college drama professor goes to your church) it was actually really interesting… john straightened santa out and told him that christmas is actually to prepare for Jesus and if the rest of our celebrating doesn’t point to him then it’s pointless. you can download the sermon if you’re interested!
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amykay
4:10 pm
1. When I saw too many standing next to the Salvation Army kettles in downtown Chicago.
2. We allowed all 3 of our kids to enjoy the story of Santa in their childhood along with teaching them the truth of Jesus’ birth.
Guess which one they accepted into their heart and live for today as college students? It sure ain’t old St. Nick!
How about a humorous take on gift giving?
http://andeeroo.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/how-to-find-that-unforgettable-christmas-gift-in-sixty-seconds/
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andeeroo
11:50 pm
I now find myself in an unexpected quandry regarding this matter. Would be interested in your thoughts, Pete… What have you concluded from this 104-count dialogue? http://www.anotherredday.blogspot.com <–its there…
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Sailor Scott
1:15 pm