The elders of my church have been working with me recently to help assure I’m leading out of my strengths. Their desire is to help me be successful at what I feel God’s called me to do.
In the process of putting together this 3 year plan they interviewed 20 of the closest people I work with and do life with here at Cross Point. One of the questions they asked was,
“What does Pete need in order to be the pastor at CP for 20+ years”
I thought this was a great question for several reasons, but for me personally it was huge. It communicated to me that they “want me”. That… I’m needed…. what I do matters… my gifts and abilities are valuable to the church now and into the future.
I recently read in “Three Signs of a Miserable Job” by Patrick Lencioni,
Human beings need to be needed, and they need to be reminded of this pretty much every day. They need to know that they are helping others, not merely serving themselves. Everyone ultimately wants and needs to help others, and when they cannot, misery ensues.
Remind your team today why they are needed. From the top all the way down they need to know your team can’t reach their goals without them (and if you can they probably shouldn’t be there). They need to know what they do matters. When people lose sight of how they contribute to the mission they generally stop trying and start dieing emotionally.
Yours thoughts???
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I remind my team (The Staff of the NW Oklahoma Citty Campus of LifeChurch.tv) all the time and will again today. The real reminder for them is that they are amazing and could do it without me.
I totally agree. Encouragement is a vital spiritual gift which many have but few deploy, and it is one that is often overlooked by those who seek after the more prominent and publicly recognised gifts.
It is important that we do all things onto the Lord and not for men’s approval, but a team that is praised, recognised and encouraged is a happy, healthy and infectious team which in turn will become a testimony to others of the love of Christ in their lives.
Blessings,
ransom33 @ http://www.ransom33.wordpress.com
I agree wholeheartedly. We want to know that our one life matters, that our contribution has significance, that we have been created by God in a way that will make an eternal difference in God’s plan for this world. It’s what gives our service and work meaning and joy and fire.
I try to tell my team this all the time. I hope they hear me.
In the past two+ years of deep brokenness I’ve experienced the absolute most pain – agony really – when I felt that what I was doing as a minister just simply was not making a difference. I really came to a low point wondering if I was a liability to our church, because I could not see that what I did mattered anymore, I could not see that I had anything good left to offer. I felt ineffectual and unneeded and this brought me to the edge of quitting. I still battle this almost every week in one form or another due to the things I’ve walked through…….it’s the thought that breaks my heart most of all.
Yes, we need to be needed. We need to know we matter. If we don’t matter, what is the point?
@janowen, praying for you as you continue to heal.
We don’t do this nearly enough! Will make sure that I give lots of encouragement today as I head to work. Thanks Pete!
That’s a great question Pete. I think it’s awesome that they’re taking the initiative to address the things that need to change or strengths you need to capitalize on. So many churches react to the problems AFTER they happen but your leadership team is ensuring that you’re on the right track to help you grow and your church thrive.
That’s so awesome. I really respect that.
This is a powerful concept, Pete. Wow. You have inspired me today.
Pete, can you share the 20 questions? I’m a deacon at church and would love to do the same for our pastor.
This applies at home too, i believe. I am at this point as a stay at home mom….feeling somewhat irrelevant in the house. ( I feel )
i will link this blog to dear husband today. perhaps some intense fellowship will ensue.
I don’t work outside the home, but I think of my family as “Team Connair.” In fact, sometimes when the kids and Dennis and I are working together to accomplish a goal (raking leaves, cleaning the house on the weekend, cutting the Christmas tree), I will burst into the chant, “Team Connair, Team Connair, Team Connair.” It makes everyone laugh, but it also reminds us we really are a team!
And maybe lately I haven’t been letting my “team” know they are needed. I’ve been criticizing when they don’t want to help out, but maybe what I really need to do is let them know that they are truly needed to get the job done and appreciated when they pitch in. Thanks for the reminder that a good team leader needs to invest the time to build UP instead of falling into the trap of tearing down.
wow, that is powerful stuff there. I cannot imagine how it would feel not to be reminded I am needed. My executive director does a wonderful job of letting us, the staff, know we are needed and wanted. I have never thought of those places where they do not hear that often enough….I pray they get a reminder today of how they are needed.
Pete, I was listening to Sunday’s sermon online last night and I was wondering if you were going to share with us what the outcome was… Funny that i got this in my email this morning. So, out of curiosity, what do they need to do in order to keep Pete there for 20+ years? I’ve been asking myself the same thing… Not about you, but about me. In my ministry context.
That is really cool – such forward thinking.
@pgowesky, That’s a great question. I don’t know if I have an answer for that. The 2o respondents had quite a few different answers many of which I believe will be true.
Now, I have to honestly process what environments I need, to be able to stay where I feel called, for the next 20+ years.
I promise to keep you informed as I go on this journey.
Makes me want to send a list to the special people in my life (family, friends, church leaders, members, co-workers, etc.) and let them know how they are being used to fulfill many of the needs in my life and how much I appreciate them.
You just always think they just kinda’ know it already.
Thanks, Pete.
(I’m trying to sound really nice here after my “spider monkey” comment yesterday)
Such a wonderful topic. I think this is true in EVERY facet of our lives. When we give of ourselves over and over again without recognition, eventually, we will give up or feel that it’s just not worth the effort. In order to feel that we are appreciated, it’s important to hear it every once and awhile.
A couple weeks ago my husband looked into my eyes and told me that he appreciates everything I do for our family, the healthy food I prepare, the time I carve out for us to share things as a family and the things I do around the house to make life easier for them each day. Simple words and oh my, they made me feel awesome. I matter and I would be missed by him if I wasn’t here anymore. It reminded me of my value in our family and I love that he took a few minutes to tell me that.
So I think this principle trickles into each part of our lives when it comes to our relationships – work, love, family, friends and even the coffee barista
This is HUGE – couldn’t agree more. Convicts me because I’m one of those people who often thinks great thinks about our team but doesn’t always verbalize it… as if they should read my mind!
so good…so true. I need a new job.
Wow! This very thing has been on my heart and mind during the past couple of weeks due to situations in my family and friends lives. At the same time I have sensed that God was putting you/this blog/Crosspoint members (blogs) on the radar, telling me that He has something to teach me. So I have been hanging out here and stalking all of your blogs just waiting to find out what it was. Today’s post hit the nail on the head. My comment would be way too long to be considered a comment. This thing you are talking about is probably THE biggest source of hurt for me within the church. Yes, this will definitely become a blog post but not before some serious prayer about it.
Great thought Pete! And what a great Elder board you have! So glad that you have such great support from them!
I could not agree more. I have been in situations that were not the best, but the manager genuinely seemed to appreciate my work. It made all the difference.
Absolutely. People need to feel needed, loved, valued. I really think that the lack of feeling needed and loved is what contributes to every single “problem” we all deal with. I think as a culture we have spent so much time trying to teach people to be self sufficient and to do it on their own, that we have created a society of hurting folks. Not to ask for help to not admit that they need to matter, but that goes against God’s plan for us to depend on Him and each other. We were created to love and be loved. I know for a fact that my brother committed suicide because he just didn’t feel needed. Felt like he had no worth. It is heartbreaking to think of people who are hurting and fall into the false belief that they don’t matter and all to often it is because the rest of us are so busy trying to make ourselves feel needed, we neglect those around us. Shelby
pete I would think CP would need to move their physical church location somewhere on the banks of a stream full of trout. It could be for baptism purposes of course.
Did anyone mention getting rid of GI?
SO VERY TRUE! That fact that you and your staff are contemplating this is SO VALUABLE!!
I’ll send you my resumé… I want to work in that type of environment! Mucho blessings man!
Is there a fine line between being needed and someone feeling guilty if they don’t do a certain job or say no? I’ve seen that so abused in the past. Or what about the idea that a leader is supposed to train others in order to work him/herself out of a job so to speak? How do you communicate “you are needed and valued” instead of “we would be so lost without you–you’re the only one who can do this job”? That could taken as a lot of pressure.
How do I do this? How do I let *everyone* know they are valuable and needed? I want to do this and I know I value when others share that I am needed. But… how do I truly express this to others?
that is absolutely the truth. When one ceases to feel needed or that they are making a difference, they are miserable. I’ve watched this happen to people first hand.
What we did when I worked is did climate assessments with our direct reports. I really wished they also did it with our colleagues. We would ask three questions:
What would you like (insert name) to START doing?
What would you like (insert name) to STOP doing?
What would you like (insert name) to CONTINUE doing?
This is great feedback because almost always they hit on things that you don’t even think about.
@Sara, I’m not sure I have all the answers. I would start by telling them though!
Knowing you are needed… makes a world of difference. I used to think I was needed because I was “doing” a lot of stuff for people. As I’m not able to do anymore I’ve discovered that what people really need from me is just to be there… to be the one who reminds them of the good in them, the one who listens, the one who appreciates and needs them. I really try to follow through when I have the urge to tell someone something so nothing is left unsaid. If I’m gone tomorrow I don’t want anyone wondering how I felt about them.
I also discovered that while I wanted to feel needed or appreciated, that happened naturally when I took the time to appreciate others. I find the more I tell others of their worth to me the more I have happy people around me. Which in turn makes my world a whole lot happier too. I can tell when I’m not doing it enough for others because I start feeling it lack in myself as well.
You have an active, engaged, and realistic group of elders. Great foresight. Chiseling in stone the very tenets of what makes us human beings feel wanted and needed – is one of the best things we can do for ourselves, for each other.
I am reminded indirectly on a daily basis that I am needed, am wanted. How? I see that my input is requested on decision-making; my presence at Board meetings are needed; that our residents let me know through their gratitude, their attitude, and their acknowledgements. Yet, I do secretly long for the pat on the back, the ‘good job, or well done’ affirmations that are oh few and far between in the nonprofit world.
Pete Wilson does a great job – now and will do three years from now. Why? Because he simply cares too much about his calling and his character to have it any other way.
Obviously, your words hit a big sore point and a big need in every walk of life. Kudos to your elders for caring, and to you for sharing. I’d wondered what could take 5 hours in an elders meeting
.
my leaders need to read this…. desperately. today is definitely one of those days where i feel about 2 inches tall and worthless.
I’ve been blessed the last couple years to have received such confirmation (being needed) from my husband, son and clients. It’s fulfilling to know that my work and actions help make their days / jobs easier or simply better. Of course, sometimes there’s the undesired result of allowing myself to focus only on serving everyone around me and forgetting to spend that one-on-one time with the one who matters most – God.
wow! my best friend and i have been discussing jobs (even the job of a stay at home mom) and our husband’s career and such lately and this really hits home with what we’ve been feeling and discussing. thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the powerful words, Pastor. I am surrounded by so many amazing leaders, I’m in awe that the Lord let’s me stand here in the midst of a county dawning in revival.
we must be drinking from the same well today. Granted, your well is MUCH bigger. Can’t wait to see how cool your hair looks in 20 years when your the “old” pastor of CP.
Hey Pete,
Thanks for stopping my blog figured I’d stop by yours.
I’ll be sure to check it out often!
Cheers!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Chris Meirose
http://mrclm.blogspot.com
Pete! You are needed indeed bro! Looking forward to seeing what God is going to do in the next 20 years! Kuddos to the elders…I do have a question…Will there be Twenty Questions for elders…I have seen too many lose their way on the journey! Sounds like you have a great team!
Wow this is huge! Can we get in on the questions? I think it would be a powerful tool for our team as well.
Huge encouragement to me today. We often miss this step as leadership. Thanks for the reminder. Peace Bro…Michael
“What does Pete need in order to be the pastor at CP for 20+ years”
How about a dissenting opinion?
It’s nice to be wanted, but does that mean we’re doing what Christ wants?
How’s this for a question the elders could have asked.
What can we offer Pete so that he fulfills his mission for Christ on this earth.
That may mean one way tickets on an airplane that goes to Zimbabwe for a 5 year mission?