I agree with Brandi. They’re too young. He’ll see her at school.

And you two are darling.

Good Luck!

Heidi Reed

[Reply]

Sure, let him can call her back, but don’t worry…tomorrow he’ll think she has cooties and will totally ignore her. For that matter, he may already think she has cooties and not even want to call her back anyway.

But I personally think HER parents should have been having this discussion….

[Reply]

I say let him call, but Dad should write ten appropriate and edited things he’s allowed to say to her on his hand!

[Reply]

Would Jett call a boy his age back? If so, he should call the girl back. Why start so early attaching significance that the call came from a GIRL. Friendship between genders is a good thing. IF it crosses a line at some point, revisit the decision, letting Jett know why.
PS You seem to be a terrific momma so please don’t think I’m slamming you Brandi!

[Reply]

@mandy, Holy cow! Now you’ve really got me worried.

[Reply]

Gosh. I don’t know what I would do. I tend to side with Brandi though (must be a mom thing).

I do know that I would have to talk to my husband about it and go from there.

[Reply]

What do 7-year-olds really have to talk about on the phone that they can’t talk about at school? I think I would call the parents and let them know that you got the message but that the kids can talk at school. 7 years old just seems too early to start talking on the phone to friends…when they see each other all day at school.
Good Luck!

[Reply]

It’s always important to listen to your gut and if Brandi doesn’t feel comfortable you BOTH should listen her woman’s intuition.

[Reply]

Pete I personally think that you should call th girl back and speak on behalf of Jett.

I teach my sons that Girls Have Kooties!

[Reply]

Are you kidding me??? The GIRL should never be the first to call….

THAT’S what you all have to look forward to…(speaking of FORWARD)

I agree w/Brandi….

Yeah, right—- calling out of “friendship”….

[Reply]

Ok, am I logged in under my name now? That was weird. Anyhoo…

[Reply]

Hey, a topic I actually have had experience with! I have 5 kids, and at least 2 of them have always had friends of the opposite sex as well as their same sex. Up through Grade 2, kids honestly think nothing of this (the teasing and noticing starts around Gr. 3). So I wouldn’t worry or make too much out of this at all. Maybe she was calling to check on something school related. Or maybe she wanted advice on how to get her Pokemon to the next level of play. I doubt they will begin hanging out for hours on the phone–kids don’t do that too much until they are 11 or 12, really. This call is probably no real biggie.

It’s like when your kids fall down and skin their knees: they look to you to see how they are supposed to react. If you get all worked up about the fall, your kids bawl and think they are supposed to feel pain. If you remain sympathetic but calm, they are more likely to move past it quickly, kwim?

That said, since the kids are only 7, you can’t mess this up much no matter which way you decide to handle it, lol! Good luck.

[Reply]

I’m with Brandi – must be a mom thing. I don’t even think 2 7 year-old boys have that much to talk about on the phone, but a boy-girl conversation is different. Kids are too interested in boy-girl relationships too early these days. Way before they are old enough to even understand what that means and that’s a slippery slope.

I do think common courtesy is necessary. Jett should either tell her at school that he can’t call girls yet, or you or Brandi should call and let her know.

[Reply]

i didn’t get to watch the whole video but i definitely will later….but I agree with Brandi he is too young!

[Reply]

I think both of you are semi-correct!! But I have to lean towards Pete on this one. The problem is you both are way overthinking this, unless this is one big joke. You are treating this situation like they are going on a date or something. It’s just a phone call!!! I don’t think she wants Jett to come to her house for a sleep over. Besides, Jett was allowed to go stand in line for Taylor Swift, who is over twice his age, but he can’t call a girl back who is in his class, Come on Brandi!! Taylor hugged and kissed him on the cheek. How is that different?? Pete, just wait until Brandi isn’t home and let Jett make the call. Being 7 years old, what’s the worst that can happen. (Don’t answer that!!!!)

Jett is around nothing but boys all the time. It’s time he has some girls around. I will send Eryn over to interview all of them so no need to worry.

[Reply]

i agree with brandi…7 is pretty young for boys and girls to be calling on the phone. have a lego play date or something.

“I would get so nervous talking to girls on the phone that I would write 8-10 different topics on my hand so I would have something to talk about.” – this brought out the LOLs…very George Costanza of you…

[Reply]

I think it’s kinda disrespectful if he doesn’t call her back. There can always be limits set to explain this won’t be a daily occurrence, but since you’ve posted it for hundreds to see and hear, the least he can do is return the call .

[Reply]

Ok..I kinda agree with both of you, but without explaining all my thoughts and ideas on it…I’m going with momma on this one. The girl probably won’t call back. And, since you don’t know the family…I’d leave it alone and see what happens next. And, yes. It is sweet.

[Reply]

I have made one of my girls call a boy to get homework information, and I have allowed one of my girls to talk to a boy in K or Grade 1 but I knew the family and I knew they were just buddies. If I didn’t know the family and the angle, I would have the same questions and concerns Brandi has.

I do have a teenager and I did have to have several moments of intense fellowship with her father before she was allowed to talk to boys on the phone. I finally convinced him she had to start before she thought she was too grown up to ask me any questions. When she was old enough, there were ground rules (and there still are) that said she could only spend so much time on the phone with him and she had to stay in a ‘public’ area like the living room or dining room. As she ages, she is allowed a little more freedom and a little more time, but I would rather her do it with boundaries than just be cut loose at the starting gate at a certain age.

[Reply]

WOW! Seven is way too young for a girl/boy phone convo. They should totally text each other tho. LOL!!! J/K!

And that girl is assertive! Leaving her number not once, but twice. She has sales in her future, I can feel it.

Pete … go with Brandi on this one.

[Reply]

Yes, it’s cute and sweet and just a phone call, and no, it’s really not that big of a deal right now…but how much do you want your boys using the phone? Regardless, I’m with Brandi – 7 is too young and he’ll see her at school. But don’t be fooled into thinking you don’t have to start thinking about it until the boys are 11 or 12 – maybe you won’t, but in today’s world I’m afraid that’s a little naive.

A friend’s FOUR-YEAR-OLD just asked her a few weeks ago, “Mommy, when will boys think I’m hot?”

[Reply]

I have 2 boys. One is 17 and one is 7. I have gone thru this with my 17yr old. I didn’t have a problem with it. I am one of these parents that thinks that if you discourage things that are really that bad it just causes problems later.
My 17 yr old went thru that and it was fine. And now they are seniors in High School and those girls are still great friends and most of all they respect us still as parents. We are looked at like friends.

It will be fine. I think he should call her back. I would not make a big deal of this. Trust me, I have been there and done it. I am proud to say my senior in high school is one of the best kids and that is because I allowed him to be him. I allowed him to do those type things.
I think the more you tell a kid NO about something like that, the more they will become “sneaky”.

[Reply]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! If he gets a girl pregnant in 7 years Brandi would kill you. Now I realize that is a little drastic, but some people are of the opinion that things like this is what are causing our kids to develop faster sexually. Way to go Brandi, stand your ground mama. And by the way, I only belive those with children sholud be giving their opinion today. I do have three.

[Reply]

Pete—wisdom speaks through BRANDI. I agree with her! Brother you better get ready–it’s coming!

And you need to get a better “bleeper” for the number segment. Blah, blah, blah is so Old school

[Reply]

I will start by saying that parents should work together and PLAN when they will allow kids to do certain activities. It makes it much easier to manage when you are both on the same page before the issue comes up.

My parents ‘let’ me have girlfriends when I was young. Maybe they thought it was harmless but when I was 9, an 11 year old girl taught me the whole kissing with the tongue involved. I wasn’t expecting that and was a little caught off guard but I got really curious about things after that.

I now have two daughters of my own. Both are older than 10 and neither of which are allowed to be making calls to young men. That is for later in life… they are not ready for all that drama yet. Why make puberty worse than it needs to be by throwing gas on the flames?

I am with Brandi…. Sorry, Pete.

[Reply]

yes. let him call. though i’m not a professional parent. my kid is only 4 months. but doesn’t making a big deal out it only complicate the innocence of the phone call? if she’s calling him so she can “hold his hand during school hours,” that’s where the no comes in… but the phone call should be allowed i believe…

[Reply]

Brandi also has my vote. Last year, my Joshua (then 5) told me that he wanted a little girl to be his girlfriend. I nearly flipped out. I don’t think I would let Joshua call a little girl back at this age. Not yet. They can talk at school.

[Reply]

I think the key question is why did she call? Did she call just to talk? Was this in response to watching Hanna Montana and High School Musical and mimicking older kids actions? Maybe she just had a question about Jesus or more likely, maybe she is having a birthday party of something. I know in Abbie’s first grade class she has to invite all of none of her classmates to birthday parties. If the tables were turned and I had a boy calling Abbie, I would probably let her call him back the one time to find out why he called. If it turns out that the boy wants a girlfriend…ADIOS. I am sure Katie has a different thought!!

[Reply]

let the boy call her back!

[Reply]

I would let him call her back and take the calling on a case by case situation. Frequent calls at that age isn’t something I would encourage. My twins are 6 (boys) and they have never gotten or made a phone call. My older son is 12 and some of his friends are girls. He talks on the phone occasionally in a public area. He does not have a cell phone. He is not allowed to take a call or make one after 8pm. Trust me if you monitor well you will know which girls are the friends and which ones are “friends”. Good Luck – it’s good to figure out some of this stuff beforehand so you can present a united front when a situation arises. Also it’s wise to get godly counsel but only you know your family and your child. Really enjoy your blog; lots of food for thought. I enjoyed your video

[Reply]

@ash, good question. All though he is down playing it I can tell that he wants to call her back. I asked him what they would talk about and he said “I don’t know”.

I’m going to have to teach him the “writing things down on your hand” idea.

[Reply]

I’m with you Pete! I have an 11 year old daughter and an 8 year old son, and they do have friends of the opposite gender call occasionally. It’s called friendship, and simple respect to return a phone call. You’ve got lots of time to deal with dating, why not teach him to simply be friends with girls first? This is not a big deal. Don’t make it one and Jett won’t either.

[Reply]

I think I would let him call her back, but you could limit how long he could talk to her and be in the same room, to hear his end of the conversation. My daughter is 8 and she does NOT think boys have cooties. She thinks she has had a “boyfriend” since last school year. He even bought her a present home from Disney World. It is all rather innocent at this age. Are we sure they “like, like” each other, or is it a simply friendly call ?

One of the other posters is right, kids at this age hear “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, but it does not mean alot to them, at this point.

Last year on a field trip, my daughter was telling me who this boy was and that boy, etc. One, that she thought was cute, I said yes, he is cute. One of her friends heard me and said, oh my gosh, do you want to get married to Cole ? ?

Kids are funny at this age. Jett is cute, so you can’t blame the girls. They probably would not have alot to talk about anyway. I doubt it would be an hour long call.

Christy
in Virginia

[Reply]

Sorry dude, I’m with Brandi on this. I have 2 girls, 14 & 11. I do agree with you it’s innocent and all but man, they grow up so fast.

Having said that. I love your blog! Creative!

[Reply]

don’t hate the player… hate the game.

a players gotta play.

[Reply]

Actually, I agree with you, Pete. Making an issue out of this will turn it into a bigger deal than it may need to be.

Anyway, the phone is so yesterday. It’s texting that you need to worry about. [harder to control & they have it 24/7]

Our kids are smack in the middle of this [13/16, girl & boy]. Teach the values of respect for himself & girls and it won’t matter what form of technology they’ll be using when he gets older.

[Reply]

Are you guys serious? If you would let him call a boy back, you should let him call this girl back. She could have been calling about homework. You dont know. This is silly, you guys. Have JEtt call her back to see what she needed.

[Reply]

so this is what i wished we wouldve done with our kids. i wished we wouldve let them talk to the opposite sex on the phone at an earlier age – ONLY because – we shouldve taken that time to show them how to view them as friends and how to nurture a friendship, a healthy communicative friendship between a girl and a boy. had that been instilled in them from the beginning, it wouldnt be so “oh-no, hush, hush” now – because we know the only reason the opp. sex calls when theyre older is because there is an attraction. well, for the most part.

what im saying is – it wouldve been a great opportunity to teach our children to respect and honor the friendship and train them early on (to create a habit) that the opposite sex doesnt always have to be more than a friend.

am i making ANY sense?

[Reply]

If he doesn’t call her back, then at 7 years old he’s already that boy who doesn’t call…you can’t let him be that!

[Reply]

What if it’s a question about homework? Let him call her back, what harm could possibly come of it????

[Reply]

@Pete-
You said you were around 10 years old when you called your first girl, right?

Wasn’t your nickname in college ’31 Flavors’?

Case closed.

[Reply]

Pete, I think Brandi’s antennae are tingling for a reason. While it may very well be completely innocent, I echo what others have said. The concept of boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are now “necessary” even in 2nd & 3rd grades — 100 years ago when I was in school, all 7-year-old-boys were good for was kicking in the shins when they bugged us girls. Things have changed. I think, more importantly than the phone call — now might be the time to get his take on that concept. What’s he hearing around him about boys & girls? How many of his classmates have a boyfriend/girlfriend? That kind of thing. Using this time to guile him to healthy relationships, not relationships based on what others think are “right”.

My .02

[Reply]

I’ve been reading Brandi’s blog and now I find Pete’s – this is great. My thought, which maybe one of the above 81 comments also shared, is on the topic of your family’s relationship with this girl’s family. You said you don’t have a relationship with them and I think that’s the perfect opportunity to reach out to the parents and have them over for dinner. Then the whole topic of the phone call never has to be discussed.

Just my thoughts.

bruce eric

[Reply]

Good grief guys! She probably had a question about that math test coming up.

[Reply]

I just read the post above mine…men always ALWAYS under-estimate the manipulation of women…we always say it’s a math problem.

[Reply]

Pete…looks like the polls have closed…and the electoral college is extremely one-sided…do we hear a concession speech on the way? Man up!

[Reply]

Hey Pete,

Thanks so much for fueling discussion between my wife and I! We’re sitting here, watching your blog together and now we’re playing the hypothetical game with our unborn daughter (my wife is 25 weeks pregnant).

Jenn thinks it’s totally innocent right now – but what happens when he’s 9 and his phone calls begin getting a bit more strategic.

I’m thinking I wouldn’t want my daughter calling any boys at 7 years old, but I would totally let them hang out together as kids just having fun. I think phone calls are actually a bigger deal than just being 7 year old friends!

Uh-oh…our daughter isn’t even born yet and I’m feeling like an over-protective dad!!!

Thanks!

[Reply]

I was 17. I still think I may have jumped the gun.

[Reply]

HE SHOULD CALL HER…. friendship. He would be allowed to call a boy back. By not letting him call you are making it a bigger deal than it really is.

[Reply]

Jet, you playa

Got the women callin you at 7…

Sounds pretty innocent all in all…can’t imagine the harm in calling back….if it continues and appears to be out of control, then a stop gap might have to be put in place.
Remember at this age….Girls Rule and Boys Drule

[Reply]

Maybe if he is allowed to talk to her at 7, she’ll learn what a decent guy is like instead of wasting a bunch of time dating some big bruno football player before realizing what a real man is like. I don’t know what lady would do something like that, but there’s always the potential of it happening

[Reply]

I think it would be okay to let him call her back under supervision but you also have to take into account that I don’t have kids myself…so maybe when I do my opinion would or will change..I don’t know. But for now my opinion is its okay for him to call her back. By the way I love how you did the whole blah, blah thing. Lol. I love you and your wife’s blogs they are great.

[Reply]

I’m gonna say I agree with Pete~I don’t, but I feel I need to say it. There, feel better Pete?
I’d cast an honest vote but as the mom of a boy, I’m pretty sure Brandi’s gonna win this one~

[Reply]

OK, I have to agree with Pete and several people who have said it seems like you are blowing this phone call issue way out of proportion. I have 2 daughters (14 and 12) and at age 7 they are just NOT thinking of the boy/girl thing like adults do. My best friend in 4th grade was a boy who I am still friends with today and never “dated”. We played Tonka trucks in his sand pile and it was totally innocent. I know times are changing, but I agree that you’re making a big deal out of it is the only reason it is a big deal.

I would teach him to politely call her back, with parental supervision, and find out why she was calling before any assumptions are drawn. I agree with the thought that you should treat this call as you would a call from a boy his age. If it truly was just because she wanted to chat then I would have him tell her he is not allowed to chat on the phone yet but that he will see her at school. This is a time when you are helping him form his views of interpersonal relationships and I think you should let him know people are people and to treat everyone with respect while following whatever rules you two establish in terms of his phone use. Don’t lead him to think there is something inherently wrong with boys and girls being friendly at his young age!!

[Reply]

I vote he calls her back to be polite but ya’ll just tell him to call to be polite but that it’s still kinda early to call people a lot and talk for long amounts of time. It’s better to play with them on the playground or at birthday parties.

[Reply]

Hi, bringing some perspective from ‘the other side of the pond’.

I think you shouldn’t make a big deal out of it, because if you like ban him from calling her or something he’ll probably want to even more when he maybe wasn’t that bothered in the first place (or is that just what me and my siblings were like?!)

I had loads of friends who are guys (as well as friends who are girls) from when I was a baby really. Can’t remember talking to them on the phone at that age unless it was for a specific purpose like inviting someone to a birthday party/trip with family to the zoo or similar?

Brandi, you know your son, and you have what I call the ‘mother radar’. Go with your instincts. You don’t want him to grow up so fast, and kids do so far too easily these days I reckon…

Pete, support your wife in her mom instincts (and notice my Americanism there!)

PS as an afterthought/curiosity…if you don’t know this family, how did they get your number to call Jett?

[Reply]

Sorry I can’t offer advice, but I have to say you have me nervous. I have an almost 2 year old and I never would have thought in a few years I’d have to be making decisions like this. Isn’t this supposed to be happening when they are pre-teen/teenagers. Yikes! I guess I better start thinking about our game plan for our son.

[Reply]

@Jeremiah – Jeez, where can I find a guy like you? lol That was a very cool idea by your parents!!

My first question is, how did she get your number in the first place?? I realize it would be in a phonebook … but at 7? Knowing Jett’s parents’ names and then looking it up in the phonebook? IMO, not a normal thing for a 7 year old … so either her parents helped her, which means they approve of her calling, or Jett gave her his number!

At any rate, my gut instinct is telling me to side with Brandi on this one. I don’t have kids yet, but I have plenty of nieces and nephews – and would hate the thought of them being able to call girls at such a young age. Someone brought up the point of the difference between it being a girl vs. a boy calling. The fact of the matter is, these days it IS important to start making that distinction even at such a young age. I wish it didn’t have to be that way, but with the times how they are, it is!

[Reply]

Now that I saw the video I think Jett should call her back because she initiated it. I wouldn’t want him to inititate a phone call at this age. I would hate for her to get insecure or feel rejected as a freind for Jett not to call her back. Maybe you facilitate between Jett and the girl via her parents.

[Reply]

I’m taking lots of notes on this!!

I do agree with Brandi as well…BUT, it should be addressed immediately with her/parents so that it doesn’t appear rude when Jett doesn’t return her call thus getting her feelings hurt.

[Reply]

I don’t even know why you debated this one! Seven is way too young. And if you didn’t know by now, mom’s are always right (especially when it comes to our son’s).

[Reply]

Pete, for the love of all that’s good and right in the world. Don’t you let that sweet boy of yours call her back. You say it was sweet and innocent and I am here to tell you that I am a woman and I heard her intent. I heard that voice on the machine and watched you and the Mrs. discuss the whole thing. (The Mrs. is even more beautiful on film, if I do say so myself.) Seriously, she is out for your boy. Don’t you do it. Don’t, don’t, don’t!

And scene.

[Reply]

Golly, that’s a tough one! I can totally see both sides of it. My son’s best friend is a girl and we have allowed them to talk on the phone before, but it’s not something that happens very often. The great thing at the age of 7 is that it’s just innocent and sweet. Good luck, Pete and Brandi!

[Reply]

He should call her back. It is never to early to start learning how to have healthy relationships with people. all people. I think it sets up the idea that girls are something to be thought of in a dating or lustful manner when we “prevent” friendships to form. I have never ever liked the idea of people asking a small child, say 7, if they have a girlfriend or boyfriend because as Brandi says, they are to young to even be thinking in those terms. But my children have always played with both boys and girls and I think they have very healthy attitudes about people. My boys cook and my girls help cut down trees. They understand gender differences, but are not tied to the thinking that boys and girls can’t be friends. Of course as we get older and get married, there becomes more appropriate ways to have relationships with the opposite sex. I, for example, would not let my husband go to dinner and a movie with another woman and even at age 7, I would not allow opposite sex sleep overs, but phone calls and hanging out is peach keen with me. I am not a big fan of parenting out of fear. Unless you see some red flags as to why the two should not be friends, then I say it is perfectly healthy and fine for them to call one another. Having said that, parenting is hard and all of our kids are different. I may not always make the right choice with my kids, but I always make the one I believe in in their best interest and out of love and even if my kids disagree with me, they know I am truly doing what I believe is best. Brandi, especially as the mother, knows her son and knows how things “might” develop, so I might just trust her on this one. Shelby

[Reply]

Poor Girl….probably just checking on a school reading assignment or something. And she had such good phone manners. If the phone calling became a habit…you could deal with it then. Mother of three boys 8, 12, 14 and one girl 10 says.. call her back….it’s good manners! boys in general are not to interested in the phone anyway .. it will pass… hey just be grateful that your 12 year old didn’t just go over his text limit by 1,000 text!

[Reply]

(Wait till their 12 – then all they do is TEXT the girl – about 400 times a day. At least he practices his spelling at the same time )

I say – Brandi’s “we’ll see” is perfect. Then play it by ear, to see how important it is to him in the next few days.

[Reply]

Hmm… not sure what 7-year-olds would have to say in a phone conversation that would warrant even being permitted to make the call, let alone return it. Then again, when I was that age, I hated talking on the phone, period. My parents had to make me get on the phone to thank family members for gifts ‘n’ such.

Now… if she’s sayin’ “Hey, we missed you in Sunday School,” that’s cool. We encourage kids to make those outreach calls.

Otherwise… they can talk when they see each other at school and whatnot. Or arrange a play date for a group of kids (both boys and girls) and include this little gal.

I figure kids really ought to have too much other stuff to do than sit and yak on the phone (computer, via text, whatever).

I like the suggestion of waiting till kids are 12 or 13. Sounds about right for emotional maturity.

[Reply]