Comments on: Forgive The Church?

By: Forgive the Church????

Forgive the Church???? — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 21:04:58 +0000

[...] is a quote that Pete posted for all of us who have been hurt by the church from Henry [...]

By: FAM

FAM — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 11:03:55 +0000

I am quilty of saying the words that I hated the church and loved Jesus Christ as my Savior. Growing up, I can only remember preachers who were only there for the people who claimed to be sinless. I cannot remember them ever helping the ones that really needed help so when a bad experience happened to be in a church that I had been a member of for thirteen years, I did not realize how much distrust I had for the church. My family was one of the people that the past pastors did not help. I can remember when we were going through a rough time and the pastor would go past our house to the perfect church member lived with out sin. I cannot find the forgiveness for the past. I am the first to admit that I am a sinner. I just get the feeling from the church that sinner are not allowed. Only perfect people without sin are welcome. I asked for forgiveness from God for my sins but that does not seem to be enough. I love Jesus Christ more than anything. I am a homeschool Mom now and I am finding out that this is the most wonderful thing for my children. We have a bible class every day and I am seeing our kids growing more in faith and confidence. I hate that church is not part of our lives but like John the Baptist who lived in the wilderness away from people because that was his calling from God. I will continue teaching my children about the importance of God and Jesus in their lives. I hope someday that I will learn to trust the church and the people in it. My sins are between me and God. If he forives me, then how can the people who are judging me now really call themselves Christians.

By: brianshaw

brianshaw — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:50:42 +0000

As a junior high youth leader, I was hurt by church politics in a church that I faithfully attended for 6 years. Unfortunately, I was too naive to see it and too weak to address it at the time. It ultimately lead me to find another place of worship. It helped that I remembered an old Amway talk where the speaker was fielding excuses and said, “I didn’t like my third grade teacher but I didn’t quit, I just looked past her.” And that’s what I did, although it did put a bad taste in my mouth for sometime.

Looking back, I wish I would have confronted it head on. I realize that all men, even those in the pastorate, are not without fault. I don’t know how receptive they would have been but at least I’d be feeling like I handled it appropriately and maybe even diverted their attention back to the center.

My advice: Address it (Matt 18:15); if that doesn’t work, find the address of a different church. Lord knows that we’ve got enough baggage of our own that we don’t need to be carrying somebody else’s.

By: Friday Findings — 123pizza

Friday Findings — 123pizza — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:02:54 +0000

[...] Forgive the Church? – Most people have been hurt by the church at one time or another. I know I have and didn’t go to church for almost ten years because of the hurt I experienced. I’ve also been hurt off and on since I’ve started attending church regularly for almost ten years. [...]

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:42:59 +0000

I was hurt by the church I went to. I was judged by the others memeber. I’ve forgiven te church. Granted, it took me some time but I finally did.

By: Ronni

Ronni — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:13:24 +0000

Pete, something my (now) pastor said to me back in the beginning of our relationship, (when I was still spinning, hurt, angry, defensive, and confused) was this, “I had to realize that every one of those in leadership who hurt me were just men like me who were not comfortable in their own skin. I had to ask God to give me His eyes for them. In that I found compassion. In compassion I found healing.”

That changed my life. It was a process of praying for them, who I deemed my enemies at the time. They weren’t, they were trying to pastor me but they were as jacked up as I was in some aspects. I had to let go of the hurt, pain, and ask for God’s eyes. He gave them to me and now I have true love and compassion for them. I pray every day for them still, and I won’t stop. Thing is, out of this I found out what true love was, and I’d say I love them more now than I did when they were my pastors.

My pastor now, being a totally authentic, real person with me helped heal me a lot. His patience with me (even to this day) astounds me. He didn’t push, he waited till God said go, and until I asked, then he was totally truthful with me. In LOVE. To top it off, he never once asked me to be or do something he hadn’t already modeled in his life.

The most he has ever done for anyone as a leader in our church, is LIVE his life the way he preaches it. That has changed me and healed me more than ever because it pushed me into God’s face.

By: jeff

jeff — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:45:05 +0000

Brilliant words Joey, I pray just pray that Pete and your staff at Crosspoint can be accessibe and remain authentic.

By: ttm

ttm — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:23:26 +0000

Oh, Rebecca. Your comment, which is saturated with wisdom, breaks my heart. Though the details of our stories are different, I can relate to your experience.

I think it is supremely difficult for people who have not been shattered to understand the fragility of those who have been. It is one thing to have a little crack and still be handled with loving care and considered useful for service. It is another thing altogether to be intentionally dropped and hastily swept into the dustpan.

There is such a wide chasm between these two realities that only the Spirit can bridge that gap.

My experience has been that many institutional churches consider repairing dishes a waste of time. They are, instead, consumed with finding new, pretty, and useful pieces to display in their respective china cabinets.

Lately, I’ve come to think of God less as a potter with clay and more like an artist who is skilled in the craft of taking broken bits of pottery and designing colorful mosaics. I’m hoping that maybe those of us who’ve been destroyed can somehow be pieced back together so that we are even more beautiful (and useful) than we were before…I do believe that, with God, all things are possible.

By: myGodisHUGE

myGodisHUGE — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 02:16:51 +0000

It’s so God that this would come up because I was up late Tuesday night talking to a new friend that had been through the same things that I had in our respective denominations. I don’t think I really realized it until I was talking to her but, after several years, God did allow me to grow and forgive to the extent I could actually attend services there for long stretches at one time (long story, but it was necessary) and actually grow in God through the process. It is unfortunate, but I believe God showed me things that caused me to see that I was depending too much on people (folks that I almost “worshipped” that turned out to be cimininally flawed) and not depending on His grace and mercy. I had to learn to have more of a relationship with the Lord and rely less on those around me – not that I don’t need those relationships, I just have them in a different perstpective now.

By: Rebecca Parrish

Rebecca Parrish — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 01:51:21 +0000

I grew up as the oldest daughter to a minister of music. I grew with enthusiasm and passion for his position and the work he did. I grew yearning to be involved in that mission and use the talents within me in the same way. However, life has a way of being interrupted and footholds of sin come creeping in. At the ag of 19, in my first semester of college…a baptist college…I found myself expecting a child. Obviously this was a time of pain and confession in my small world. However, it was the places that I was hoping to find support in that caused the most pain. The college I was attending asked me to leave. The church we attended pushed my family out. My father did all but disown me. I gave birth to a glorious baby boy that is now 11 years old and the oldest of four light bearing children. Over the years, I have tried to put myself back into church. My husband and I attended one church that we adored and became quite involved in. Critical attitudes and power struggles pushed us away. We aren’t power hungry people. We aren’t pushy people. Now I am in a place that I find confusing and painful. I want the compassion of that small group of people. But I am so afraid to enter into that relationship again and let my heart out and be open. The pain that comes has been more that I am able to bear and rebound from. I hurt. It can be said as many times as you would like that you have to acknowledge what the situation was, forgive, and move on. But for those of you who haven’t experienced it or are stronger and more capable of rebounding…I have to say…there is nothing harder than putting your heart out on the line and having it crushed and left damaged. Repair is not an easy process…especially when you do it alone. Be transparent. Yes that is very helpful. But you have to go where the hurt are. You have to meet us where we are and make that relationship and build that bond away from the building. Make the connection…be real…be concerned…be the stitches that draw the wound together. The heart is a precious package and when it breaks, it may be able to mold back together. But, like any fine china, the cracks and other scars are still there. And next time you are more skiddish of letting it out. Hearts break and spirits die. Heal from outside the building. The relationship can build back the broken.