So last week I walked up stairs and Jett had just gotten out of the shower. He was standing in the mirror and repeating “Oh Da*#, Oh Da*#”, over and over. So we had the following conversation….
ME: Jett what did you say?!
JETT: Oh Da*#.
ME: Son, why are you saying that?”
JETT: Because that’s what you say when the quarterback has the ball and he’s about to be sacked.
ME: Who told you that?
JETT: There was a guy who sat behind me at the Titans game last Sunday. He was bald, had a cowboy hat on and wore an Eddie George jersey. Whenever Kerry Collins was running with the ball and was about to get tacked he would say “Oh Da*#, Oh Da*#”.
ME: Well dude, we don’t say that word OK?
JETT: What word?
ME: The “D” word.
JETT: You mean Da*#.
ME: Yes son, that one.
I”m just praying they don’t get a game of football going at church this Sunday!
Have your kids done anything to shock or embarass you lately?
How long have you got and where do I start? Our 7 yeal old boy has a habit of sharing his every thought at the top of his voice during every Sunday service, which the rest of the congregation finds incredibly amusing, and he has been known to say the odd swear word too just for effect, not knowing exactly what it meant. Unfortunately, my husband and I cannot blame it on anybody else or on the TV, but ourselves as we do sometimes slip up and use words in conversation that we should not. But hey, we are all a work in progress, right?
Blessings,
http://www.ransom33.wordpress.com
Everday! LOL Some things I wont share on this blog sir!
lol…I know it’s wrong but that’s pretty funny. I’ve had conversations like that with both my girls and my biggest challenge is trying to keep a straight face when I’m telling them it’s wrong!
Wow, my 2yr old on says thats anytime he sees football on T.V. He is not quite old enough to tell me why he says that but I have a pretty good idea !?#% I have tried not to make an issue out of it,although it is kinda but not really cute, he has stopped doing it as much since no acknolgement of it has been made.
I would appreciate it if you could have the above conversation with my husband next time you see him:) Thanks in advance!
Well, since my son is almost 8 months…I’m pretty safe, so far. Well, unless you count the occassional burp and passing gas in church! Those can be embarrassing! Even though he really seems to enjoy doing those things.
This is too funny! My 11 yr old likes to throw the “D” word at us when he’s in trouble. It’s his way of trying to distract us from the original problem. In order to foil his plan, we simply completely ignore that he has used the word and in hindsight I think our plan has been working b/c he hasn’t used it in a while!
And as for kids embarrassing us lately….well we have 4 so this comment box is not big enough!
My 5 year old mixed two phrases together this last 4th of July. I was doing something that was annoying him and he blurts out, “Mom … you’re driving me up to my nuts!” Ok, we do not use that term for those parts in our house so I was shocked. I told him I wasn’t sure what he meant and he said, “You know … like making me crazy!” Ah … you mean driving you up the wall or making you nuts. “Yes Mom.” And of course this had to be in front of my parents. I could have died. BOYS!
Ha! That’s funny.
Once when we were walking down the hall at church on our way to the nursery my oldest kept saying “Da*% it” over and over. We kept explaining to him that we don’t say that word.
There was the time that he would say “Oh sh*% train!” whenever he heard a train whistle. I didn’t know where he picked it up until I heard it said in the good, wholesome movie a friend had loaned me.
Then, there was the time he said “F*%k” when my very conservative in-laws wouldn’t buy him something at the store.
Then, there was the time….
We don’t allow our kids to talk this way but we also don’t make a big deal out of it so they don’t say the words for attention. So far the words have been said a few times, we’ve explained we don’t say those words and so far so good.
I used to get embarrassed and worry that people would think I’m the one teaching my kids the words but have found out that kids will pick up on everything. They can hear the word anywhere and will naturally add it to their vocabulary. Kids like to try out the new words they have heard whether they are good words or bad words.
Isn’t parenting so much fun.
dude, that’s just funny….
Was at a Raven/Eagles pre season game and the two guys in front of me were givng “the finger” to the ref on a bad call. I was looking to the left and turn to the right to see my 4 year old giving “the finger”. I politely asked the two in front to watch what they did because my son was doing what they were and they were complete gentlemen the rest of the game. My son and I have had to talk a couple of times about giving “the finger” since then.
Well – I don’t know any parent who hasn’t been down this road. I know it can be a shocker, but it happens and we live and learn. Kids are great mirrors, aren’t they!
This isn’t so much embarrassing but mostly shock and a wake up call. Our big line for the last year has been “You really need to change your attitude”….yes, you can see where this is going. We were out and about and I was not my shiny self towards others and my daughter (who was 5) stopped me and said “Mom…you need to think about this and really change your attitude”. I was embarrassed because my own 5 yr old called me out on something but I was also proud because she was right on and that meant she actually understood what it meant and it wasn’t just in one ear and out the other.
Oh no!
My kids? Not yet, they’re still a bit young, but we’re expeceting it any day now!
My friend realized what a “potty mouth” he had when his oldest daughter was 4. They were at a family bbq when the 4yr old said to her crying 2yr old sister: “Stop your f***ing crying!”
When my friend approached his 4yr old and let her know that it was very inappropriate to talk to her sister (or anyone that way), he asked her – “What should you have said?”
His daughter replied “Please stop your f***ing crying?”
Yikes! He realized that he needed to watch everything he said around them!
While out for ice cream this summer, my 3 year-old called another customer a “big, fat lady”. Seriously. The only positive thing about this was the fact that I wasn’t there! Her grandparents had taken them out for ice cream, so it saved me the humiliation . . . for once!
Not yet with my small kids….but there is always tomorrow.
My favorite story though is one a neighbor told me. The little 3-4 year old girl was in her room trying to “fix” a toy that wasn’t working properly. They had friends over for dinner, so a nice big audience. The little girl came out of her room and frantically explained that the toy was broken…and she said, “I pushed it, I pulled it. I even said D@mn and it still doesn’t work!”. I still laugh.
my young son to our next door neighbor……
“Why are you so fat?”
LOL – my kids say Poop and Stupid daily. Sometimes it’s “stupid poop”. Yeah. That’s embarrassing when we are eating out. At Friendly’s Thursday night I could not get them to quit saying “bring me poop” as they banged the table with their silverware. I wanted to crawl under the table. People around us were laughing which just egged them on more. Grrr!!
Heidi Reed
My son to my Mother-in-law during Christmas dinner…”Nanna, why have you been married so many times?” FOR THE LOVE!!
@Crystal, I would have died!!
That is so funny!! Childrens Moment in church was complete torture for Hubs and I. Our church family found out a few things about us they did not need to know.at.all.
The cutest one was when Tessa(16) was 2 she could not say truck. So when a lady asked her where her daddy was she proudly told her that “my daddy in a big *uck!” The poor gal about lost her teeth!!! Of course. Tessa kept repeating it as she knew the lady didnt understand her!!!
Recently I had the following experience… I was asked to help lead worship at the church I grew up in. A friend offered to take my 7 year old upstairs to the children’s activities. When I picked him up – the leader (who I knew from childhood) commented how competative he was during games. Of course I asked him to explain… as they played the first game my son exclaimed “I’m gonna kick some #@$”
I can honestly blame this one on a inappropriate coach at a soccer game! Really!
Wow… the things that happen!
PSHH! That’s all you say when Kerry Collins is about to get sacked?
You should have heard the collective expletive uttered in every living room, sports bar and pub in the entire New England region when Tom Brady went down in Week 1. If I remember correctly, it went something like this:
What the h&*#? NO G-d%#@ed F*#!in’ way this S&^t is happening!
And that was just what my daughter heard of it in my living room from my church members and their wives. The others in the area went on for roughly three weeks.
Okay can’t resist…..Once my son (4 yr old at the time) was down front for Children’s
moments with the pastor and he was talking to the them about the Holy Land and how AWESOME this recent trip was and he went on and on……well, my son had heard enough and stood up and interjected (Into the pastor mic) with hand on hips……..
WELL, I’m going to DISNEY WORLD. The Pastor couldn’t even finish his point for the tears of laughter streaming down his face. Needless to say I have no idea what the sermon was about that day
My side is hurting from laughing so hard as I read these stories.
Even though mine are older and should be wiser, they still cause embarassment and shame. My eldest son (30) was caught dealing and is now serving time in prison, as a parent you always wonder what happened to the cute embarassing things. However embarassed I am I do know that he is still a child of God and will be embraced. Unfortunately, the shame I feel is at times over whelming because I always think where did I go wrong. Sorry to add seriousness to this humerous post.
When my son was younger, he had some speech issues. One problem was mixing his Tr’s and his F’s. He also was obsessed with fire engines. Whenever he would see one go down the street, he would scream “FIRE TRUCK! FIRE TRUCK!” Altho it didn’t quite come out that way…. It was a bad scene the day the fire truck came to school. The private Christian school. I thought we may be kicked out….
A few years ago while my best friend and I were at church preparing for mid-week service my son(8yrs) came up to me and told me that Kelli, a little girl my friend watched who did not come from a good family situation, was saying the “F word”.
I was kind of shocked, mainly because I was trying to figure out how in the heck HE knew what the “F word” was when my friend snatched up Kelli saying,” I don’t doubt it!! Her Momma doesn’t have any sense to keep her dirty mouth to herself!!! I have told her to watch it, and this is just the end all be all. I am so sorry your kids had to hear that. I am so sorry, so sorry!!” and with that she headed to the restroom for a little “correction”.
At the same time, I pull my son aside and ask him what she said, and he just kept telling me, “the F word momma, she said it like 100 times” I asked him what exactly she said, and he refused to repeat the word. Finally after I promised no repercussions, he said, “Mom, Kelli wouldn’t stop saying FART.”
I FELL OUT!!! Partly relieved that he didn’t hear the REAL “F” Word, and partly because it it was SO D#@M FUNNY!!!
Needless to say, I ran to the restroom and “saved” Kelli from certain punishment, and then we spent the next two hours picking each other up off of the floor.
Too Funny!!!
This past weekend, we muted the TV while watching as a family. After our conversation about cuss words and such, and choosing our words wisely, I said to my kids (12, 10, 4), “On the count of three let’s all just say one cuss word and get it out”
Me: Hell (rated G of cuss words I know but was a little apprehensive about it)
wife: Sh#+
12: Da#^
10: Da#^
4: Idiot!
“OK, Those words … we don’t use.” Oh to be four!
When my now 17 year old son was 5 or 6 we were at a store in line behind a guy that was returning a product. He kept saying things about the “stupid” item and my son leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder. When the disgruntled man turned around, Josh said, “My mom says that’s a bad word and we don’t say that at my house!” The man gave me a go to h*^#$ look and turned back around pretty fast. Then he asked some friends at our at the time very conservative church’s Sunday school class if they had seen Liar Liar (a movie he had watched at his Dad’s house). he then proceeded to say loudly in front of the pastor’s daughter – “My favorite part is when the guy is in the elevator and says to the lady – “Hey, nice boobs!” Our 4 year old also recently said Da*# it! while we were traveling in the car with the pastor and his family when he couldn’t get the Leapster to do what he wanted it to do! Yikes!?
For the longest time my toddler couldn’t pronounce “shirt”. She left out the r. She really likes clothes, so she’s always trying to show people her shirt. We were walking through Walmart one day and she kept yelling “Sh*t! Sh*t!” When I blogged about it, my pastor warned me that he was going to ask her what she was wearing that Sunday at church. He thought it was funny, but he isn’t the one with a cussing toddler. I made sure to put her in a dress. Haha.
The day was Easter Sunday, and the time was the children’s moment. All the two-fer’s were there (you know–two fer the year), and they had brought all their kids, the little girls all wearing their frilliest dresses.
The dear woman who was doing the children’s moment commented on one little girl’s dress: “My that’s a beautiful dress you have on today….”
To which the kid replied, “Thanks…but my momma says it’s a bi*#% to iron!”
And there was laughter in the land!
lol…..that is hilarious! Kids…they just say what they hear. I’m waiting for the day that happens to us. I know it’s coming.
Our Family is Die Hard Auburn Fans (War Eagle). We went out to dinner the other night and our waiter was wearing an Alabama hat. When the waiter handed out the napkins our 5 year old SPIT on the napkin – because our waiter was an Alabama fan. I was completely mortified! Luckily I don’ think he noticed.
Yeah. For some reason it happens much more often with Peyton, our four year old son than Abbie, our 6 year old daughter. The other day it was Peyton dropping an “Oh My God!” I asked him if he was praying, he said, “no.” I “kindly” asked him not to use God’s name if he wasn’t talking about God to a friend or talking to God directly. Whew! I know that it’s only the tip of the iceberg!
@ Gina – please stop blaming yourself for something you can’t control. You are just as good as anyone else and no one has any right to judge you. We cannot control what our family members do. My dad has been in prison since I was 14 and the embarrassment, shame, and humiliation I felt in high school and through my early 20’s was unbearable at times. I will pray that you make peace with yourself and you stop blaming yourself as a mother.
I think I’ve got you beat, Pete.
My son (now 23) was kind of a brain child and skipped 2d grade. So I had a meeting with the grade school counselor at the end of the year to discuss what we might need to work on with him over the summer to help him move from 1st to third. Near the end of the meeting, she felt compelled to share with me that Ryan certainly was precocious, wasn’t he? Uh oh, I thought! Sure enough, she shared that Ryan was telling his 1st grade classmates all about reproduction. OMG, I almost had a stroke when she said that! Ryan, you see, liked to go to the library and take out books about how the human body worked. He started with the brain and worked his way down, book by book, until one day I saw him pass a books on reproduction and menstruation across the counter to the librarian. I was trying to be mature about it, so I didn’t say a word, just let him take them home and read them. Come to find out the hard way that he was telling his male classmates all about how it worked and suggesting that they should probably stand in the shade during recess, because heat kills sperm, and stuff like that.
Yeah, if I were you, I’d start praying that you have not given birth to a genius, because it can be hard to live through once they start talking.
Thank you, hearing that from someone who has and is living it is appreciated.
I really think I am more of an embarassment to my kids than they are to me.
I do remember when my son was about 3 years old we were all in church one glorious Sunday morning. As I remember, it was at a lull in the service right as the pastor was walking up to speak and in a hushed sanctuary my son shouted out at the top of his lungs “Oh Sh*&”. Kinda hard to explain that one away.
My son was five years old when the company I was working for was bought by a Big 4 accounting firm. The partners, in the spirit of getting to know each other, organized a picnic with new and existing employees and their families.
As a single mom, my son came with me. I wanted both of us to be on our best behaviour, being new to the firm and in the presence of the partners.
I watched as my son got into a soccer game with a group of kids, kicking the ball and running. One of the partners approached me as I watched over my son. We looked out over the field as we chatted, and to my horror, all of a sudden I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
My son, waited too long to visit the restroom. As a little boy, he did was came natural. As fear welled up in me, and the partner was looking down at the field – see the same thing – my son does the unimaginable – right there, right in front of the partner I’m trying to impress with my business-like speak and what I thought was my well-behaved child.
He’s never done that before, and he’s never done that since.
I turned five shades of red, and claimed not to know my child for a split second. The fear turned to embarassment and then anger.
My converstation with the partner abruptly ended and I wandered slowly down to the field. By the time I reached him, it was obviously too late to undo what was done. I lovingly embraced him and just let him know that it’s okay to let me know when he needs to visit the little boys room, and not to wait too long.
I chuckle now, but at the time, I could have crawled under any rock, if there was one.
My stint at the fancy Big 4 firm was only two years, and I still remember how humbling it is to be both a corporate suit and a mom.
@Gina, I’m praying for you and your family. I know that must be difficult but you can’t blame yourself.
My son is fascinated with SHUT UP. My 10 year old nephew says it REGULARLY and now Ive got a toddler who says it. Its rather embarrassing when someone says it jokingly and my son corrects an adult by saying “Ooooohhh you not allowed to say shut up. Shut up is a bad word. mommy she said shut up.”
Ugh
Pete, maybe you can mail me and tell me what the ‘d’ word is. I just can’t figure it out – I guess it’s cause I’m not American, or a member of your church or something. It is so not easy being prejudiced against!
Ohhh, man Last night when I was watching them he said it but I was not sure if i was listening close enough so I didn’t say anything to him :} I know its not funny, But it is…. Only cuz Im not a mom im sure… When I was a kid and we got the first Nintendo I yelled at mario to get the ” little Ba#$#&ds” I remember my mom freaking out but I had no clue what I said or where I learned it.
I grew up the daughter of a hog farmer, so when he was sorting pigs the phrase (I’m not sure how to write this…) “g-d-son of a-b-f$%k” came out of his mouth fluidly. I swear I used to think it was all one word and realized later there were many variations of words in there! My brother joined a church that was very strict against drinking and swearing and when his second son was born my parents and I went to stay and help with their oldest son, Alex. He was about 3 at the time and their dog wouldn’t stop barking in the yard. So Alex went to the door, opened it and yelled, “G-D@mnit, dog, Shut Up!!!”
We all gasped and looked at dad and he walked slowly into the bathroom not knowing what else to do… and then we heard him bust out laughing. It was so funny I’m still laughing just typing it! I have to admit, it’s still one of my worst habits… I didn’t realize it until I started writing a blog and had to keep monitoring the words I was about to use. Apparently there are one or two swear word that come a little too easily to me!!!
At the church sponsored High School cookout, my 5-yr old son decided to relieve himself on the lawn in front of all the teachers. Then my wife said, “Josh, we’re not in our front yard.” Like that would have been OK.
I don’t have kids, but my best friend’s daughter said the “D-word” one day in the correct context. We asked her where she heard that word, and she said, “From you”. My friend use that word, but her daughter inssits that she learned it from her mother. We laugh about it now…and still haven’t figured out where she learned it.
Don’t know where to start? 2 Quick ones:
1. We use to refer to our dog as “Fat Girl” until my son, 3 at the time, asked very loudly about the lady in front of us in the grocery store line, “Daddy is that lady a Fat girl?” Completely speechless!
2. He’s 5 now and we let him go potty in the backyard all the time…don’t judge.
Recently when we had company he opened the back door and pee pee’d on the back deck in front of everyone. He said he didn’t want to get his feet dirty?
Thanks for the laughs! So many funny stories here today! My girls had their moments, but my boy tried to find loopholes. When he was about four he was lying on his back with his stuffed animal, Scorcher, on his chest. Scorcher was having a talk with him. “Jonathan,” Scorcher said in a cute little dragon voice, “there are three words that you can’t say: hell, d@#*, and livid.”
“Jonathan!” I scolded, “you know you can’t say those words.”
Jonathan turned Scorcher toward me so that all three of us were involved in the conversation. “I didn’t say them, Mama,” he answered, “Scorcher did.”
“Well,” I said, “the next time Scorcher says bad words, I am going to give you a spanking.”
Jonathan thought for a moment and then turned Scorcher so they were face to face. “Scorcher,” he said with a growl, “you better not ever say that again!”
Dude that is somehow hilarious. However, it reminds me of a time when my little sister grabbed dad’s Greek Bible and was sitting in his chair. She was about 5 or 6 years old. We walked into the room and she was saying, ‘And God said da*#! She kept repeating that, and we couldn’t keep from laughing. It turned out to be a good teaching experience for mom and dad.
Kids say the darndest things.:)
@Anita… quick question: why is livid a bad word?
Oh… and one more story. My mom’s constant phrase when we were growing up was: “That just makes my @ss tired!” One of my older brothers asked her, “How tired is it?” Dude… wrong question to ask.
I swear this will be the last one I share… but this post is bringing back so many fun memories. My niece was little and had heard swearing while watching a football game. When it was over she wanted a “family meeting” and told us she heard words like sh!t, d@mn and hell, and in this family we use loving words like good job, I love you, your hair is pretty.
My mom and I about died laughing at the last one and now when someone is annoying us I look at her and say, “Awww… their hair is SOOO pretty.”
One of my kids (8) was playing kickball and when she got out she said “oh, sh**.” It completely surprised me because we don’t talk like that and even more so because she didn’t act like it was a big deal. We talked about how what is in our hearts comes out our mouth and when there are yucky things in our heart we say things that aren’t nice. Later, when Daddy came home I told her we were going to have to talk about it with Daddy and she broke out in tears and said “I don’t have a yucky heart. I just said the wrong vowel!”
I have a pretty cool daughter…but when she was younger could throw a temper-tantrum with the best of them…she would bite herself.
I’m pretty sure I said that a time or two during the Auburn game Saturday.
I am usually the one that is causing the embarassment.
My 5 year old right before Kindergarten started did pull a doozy though.
We were meeting with a family that was going to be in her class. After trying to have a discussion with their son (who my child could not understand very well) my daughter walked over to us and the boys parents and told them, “I’m sorry to tell you this but #### is going to really struggle in Kindergarten.”
Not a great way to start a friendship.
Maybe Jessica said it and doesn’t remember saying it… hahahha
Let’s get one thing straight….. MY TEENS don’t embarrass me, WE embarrass them… hahahhahaha…..it’s GREAT!
But on a side note, I’m always saying “Those DA++ DOGS”…. to anyone who has dogs… (SORRY)
@Sara We’re bad about other things around here; swearing doesn’t happen too often. Jonathan assumed livid was a bad word because he only heard it when I was fuming with anger. I thought it was hilarious when Scorcher named livid as an off-limits word.
@Scott, where do you even begin with correcting that one? Whew!
Just the other day my 3yo daughter was eating lunch when the dog got in her lap practically to see if she had dropped anything. This always annoys all 3 of my kids but they usually just yell for me or something. NOt this day. Jennifer decides to let it all out and says “get away you f**king dog”!!! I was shocked!! To say the least.
So I ask where she learned that word and her twin bro says to her that that is a bad word and she turns to him and says “no it isn’t you f**king baby”!! I nearly had a stroke!!
At least when Daddy came home he was willing to take the blame!
I was shocked that a) she said it but then also that b) she used it correctly!!!
Prior to Cross Point we attended a very structured, ceremonial church. One day after the service as the entire congregation poured out of the front doors one of the mothers tapped my wife on the shoulder and said with a gasp “look at your son”. Nature had called to my 3 year old who was standing on the top step, pants around his ankles, peeing into the grass. With no explanation or apology he finished his business, pulled up his pants, and ran off to play. Can’t imagine where he learned that
how about brent and i share our cussing kid stories with you in february. that would be best.
yah. i think so.
i remember the humanity of my childhood really vividly. i was a ‘good kid’ who got into a lot of big trouble under the radar. i decided when my son was born i would never be shocked to discover he’s not perfect. this has been huge in our relationship. i think, so far, i have yet to over-react. that has made him really comfortable about sharing things with me when something’s gone wrong. obviously, i keep it ‘g’ rated, but we really don’t beat around the bush about stuff.
now, i fully expect this choice of mine poses a very personal challenge to the one hell bent on screwing him up… so, i’m bracing myself. and i imagine i won’t be shocked at my own humanity on the day that he does something that makes me flip out and ground him till he’s 45.
Ah – daily. Funniest? My youngest was offering to help girls “hold their boobs up”
My girls have a doll named “Shitta.” I’m speechless…
My little girl when she was 2 went to daycare. And one of little girls said b@t**. So they must have said at daycare we don’t say that word because all evening my darling said, “We don’t say the word b@t**, b@t** is a badword. We shouldn’t use the word b@t**.” Finally, I said, Brooklyn, we don’t use that word here either and she stopped. It was over. She’s 11 now. I’m sure I’ll here it more.
My son, now 10, walked up to me when he was about four and said, “Dad, when i grow up i want to be just like you.” i thought to myself “oh Da*#!” But i didnt say it out loud.
We work with inner city teens and i’m am from a beer drinking redneck family that could out cuss any thug, SO my kids have heard it all. I just tell them some words are not o.k. to say.