Making The Most Of It
This photo was taken last week in Jensen Beach, Florida, during the flooding caused by Tropical Storm Faye. When I saw this picture I thought, now that is making the most of a difficult situation.
I have always kind of taken pride in myself that I can be pretty flexible. I like to think that I can make the most out of difficult situations and rise above the current realities to focus on the future. Most of the time I can have a good attitude, even in the midst of crappy circumstances.
But then again, sometimes they get the best of me… like last Thursday night. My incredible wife, Brandi, turned 34 last week. I had a somewhat stressful week, but was trying to choose to rise above. On our way to Brandi’s birthday dinner to meet friends, we got a flat tire.
Not a big deal, but for me it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was not pretty. I was so ticked (thank God the flip camera was not on in this moment)…. we encountered a car that rolled while jacked up, a bent jack, and a tire nut that was stuck. By the time we finished 45 minutes later the flat tire had left me covered in black grease, dripping with sweat, and not real happy about going to dinner.
I wish I could say I handled the situation with grace and stayed focused on the fact that it was my wife’s birthday, but I didn’t. I was selfish and only concerned in that moment about myself which then led to a horrible attitude.
I’ve learned that it’s only when I take the focus off of myself. Off of…
-how I feel
-how I’m doing
-how I’m going to get through this
It’s when I take the focus off of ME that I can take control and make the most of whatever is going on.
Life is full of unexpected problems. Flat tires, bad storms, relational conflicts, physical struggles and technical difficulties.
How do you keep your daily struggles from shaping your attitude? How are you making the most of your difficulties?
47 Comments:
I wish I could say that I was good at this Pete. I actually used to be before 3 kids, a husband that doesn’t handle stress well and being a nurse!! Now I find that I don’t handle these types of situations well either. It’s about 50/50 now.
I do try my best now though. I try and do what the “experts” recommend and take a breath and count to 10 and by then I do usually feel somewhat better but even that doesn’t work as well as it used to!!
Now I find myself asking our Lord for mercy more often than not (He’s probably tired of hearing from me so often in a day actually!!!) But when I do ask Him for help I do feel more peace in my life.
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Tracey
7:48 am
Pete, I’m shutting down! Bummer! I really have tried to make the best of a difficult situation for several years and am finding myself detached, more and more each day. Although my Husband knows it, I don’t think he has the time, the energy or the know-how to reverse the situation. He works 12 hours a day, I run the house. At this point, neither makes a pointed effort to engage the other. We still love each other – I can say that, but we are heading down a bad road! I lay awake at 4am this morning praying on this and other things and hope that the Lord will guide me.
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Emily Rowe
7:56 am
Just this morning I was praying that God would teach me in the midst of my present situation that is bothering me. I’m sure there is something there I need to learn. So I’m trying to lean into God but I don’t always succeed and I don’t always do it. I’m trying to embrace this part of our journey and pray God will work “all things for good”…….not sure what else to do.
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Jan Owen
8:04 am
You just gotta laugh it off! I would think, if anyone, YOU would think of it as great blogging or twitter material LOL!!! I don’t know if I would necessarily go skiing, but you just have to take a moment, and realize it’s not the end of the world!
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Christina Schmidt
8:12 am
Pete, maybe you should have had the flip phone on.
Your flip phone comment made me think, if in situations like this I would act as if everything I was doing was going to be on YouTube in 30 minutes I might act a little differently.
Tell Mrs. Wax the McKee’s say Happy Birthday!
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Harold McKee
8:32 am
I try to think positively. I think to myself- you will get through this! Whatever it is. I won’t say that I don’t cuss in my mind or even out loud but I kinda of like how I deal with pressure. I think that I am at my best when I am forced to deal with a difficult situation. Of course, there are times when it’s really hard and I get down and just dog the hell out of myself. But that never last long for me!
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Marla P
8:34 am
though i’d like to give a canned answer on how well i do with this…not so…the one thing that i have found helping me, is my daughter…she just turned 16 months old over the weekend(like that’s a birthday in and of itself?)…but just laying on the floor and playing with her, gives me perspective…it makes me realize what is important and how blessed i am, regardless of what all is going on around me…
thanks for the transparency!!!
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jon mark
8:56 am
First of all… three words
ROAD SIDE SERVICE….. that is my friend
I am constantly muttering “help me Lord” some may wonder but for me, its my plea, I need His mercy ’cause I seem to be walking in the muck. At times my only prayer is, Lord have mercy and give me grace. On the other hand, I am thankful that I typically I am fix it, get it down person, it takes me quite awhile to lose it… I can smile thru a lot of things. When I am done, I get quiet and am done. this is happening a lot right now. From the comments it looks like I am not alone. You are so right, take a moment to be thankful and ask the One who can help, to help!
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Kristi Ottmar
8:57 am
I have a saying – Life is the bread we make from the ingredients we are given by the Bread of Life. John 6:35 – And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.”
Jesus said that we would have trials, struggles, and yes even bad days. But He also said that He would give us what we needed to get through them. Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. I may not be happy with my circumstances at that moment, but I can choose to have an attitude that reflects faith and love. When I have a bad day, I try to stop and remind myself that I can choose to have a bad attitude, or I can choose to be thankful. I begin to thank God for the blessings in my life – my salvation, my Jesus, a wonderful son, a loving family, best friends, a Godly Pastor and church, a home, a good job, I could continue on and on because I have been truly blessed, but I think you get the picture.
It is like you said in the title of your your “Making the Most of It” – whatever the “IT” may be.
~P.S. – Did your wife have a good birthday?
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Victoria
9:09 am
Im working on it.
Someone almost hit me yesterday and I went into an all out tantrum. It was pretty ridiculous. : (
But Im trying to learn how to stop, breathe, and ask God for help.
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Kelli
9:29 am
In a weird, sort of unfortnuate kinda way, I think it’s okay to throw a tantrum once in a while. Not only do those around us need to be reminded that we’re human….but sometimes we need reminding ourselves. The truth is that the situation with the flat, etc. was a crappy situation….and unfortunate inconvenience that probably affected a lot of people. You were probably late, didn’t have a change of clothes, a porta-shower, etc. We need grace every minute. Why wouldn’t God use a precious occasion like your sweet wife’s birthday to remind you you’re not always in control just because you are in the driver’s seat? Why not allow you to crumble a little so that He could show Himself through your wife in what probably turned out to be a period of apology/forgiveness/grace? And now you are sharing it with us, reminding us that even pastors make butts outta themselves sometimes. We need to know that. Because we need to see that we are all in this together. If we can begin to see that you can mess up like us, then maybe we will also start to see that we can make a difference, like you.
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melissa1970
9:56 am
Heh. I surely am not one of those people who can give tips on how to keep a great attitude all the time, but I am always trying to improve. It’s funny how I can see my 16-year-old daughter inflicting her bad mood on others sometimes and jump right on her case about it; but for decades (and I do mean decades), I had been guilty of the exact same behavior. That’s probably why God keeps sending people into my life who are examples of how to be happy no matter what, how to think of others instead of themselves no matter what, and how to keep a positive attitude even when there doesn’t seem to be any good reason to!
And from now on, I am going to keep Jan Owen’s comment (above) about “lean[ing] into God” in mind. That is just a really great way to think about things when feeling put out or put upon!
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Jan Connair
9:56 am
Sorry, i didn’t really answer the question. I think I’m bad about that….
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melissa1970
10:02 am
Honestly, I think about people like my friend Kelli and all that she has on her. I think back to your friend Angie’s story and I realize that I have nothing to complain about. And when that doesn’t work and I mess up anyhow, I remember the suffering Jesus took for me and I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.
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Cyndi
10:06 am
Forgot to add, I have to pick myself up a few times a week (lol).
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Cyndi
10:08 am
@Victoria, I think she ended up having a great birthday!
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Pete Wilson
10:29 am
1st of all, I love the photo! Secondly, as you experience more and more of these types of things, God will shape you (little by little) into the kind of person you want to be, as you keep thanking Him for everything. Thirdly, see my last few blogs (starting with “Who Will I Trust?” to see how I got through a 26+ hour attempt to get out of Anchorage on standby, when it didn’t feel like God was helping me at all. And yet He had such wonderful surprises in store for me. The greatest thing, though, is that I didn’t grumble once — this goes against the grain for me! — because I’m old enough now to have gone through lots of flat tires, missed opportunities and tough situations! Not that I won’t grumble the next time, but it’s a great accomplishment…for which I give Him the credit only.
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Juli Jarvis
10:31 am
Wow Pete…have I been there before.
All I can say to this is I have tried to learn over the years to just let somethings go.
My favorite saying is “It is what it is”…which my wife would love for me to stop using. It does really sum it up.
When you are in the midst of something like you were Pete, it is by no fault of anyone…you just have to deal with it, laugh about it later and move on.
I know this is easier said then done.
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Joseph
10:39 am
I get this image from the movie “The Christmas Story” thinking about you struggling with changing the tire – the father grunting over the tire as he tries to beat his record for changing the tire while poor Ralphie ends up spilling the lug nuts and voicing his surprise at doing so. Hopefully you were not visited by any queen mother of words
After reading James McDonald’s book “Lord Change my Attitude”, I now understand that my displeasure with circumstances or my bad attitudes are actually an indication of my understanding of God’s sovereign will and work in my life. If I accept that I experience nothing that hasn’t passed through God’s hands first and then complain or have a bad attitude about it, then I am actually questioning God’s ability to govern my life. Imagine that… me questioning God’s ability.
Yeah. Its hard to break from that nature. The only way to do so is to keep things in perspective.
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tonyyork
11:03 am
I grew up in the Jensen Beach area. They are making the most of the opportunity because there is nothing else to do in that town! (insert cricket sounds)
I still love all my Jensen Beach people though! You did make up for it a little by posting that you learned a lesson! I think that is part of the process of making the most of difficult situations… admitting when you could have handled it better and trying to move on in a more positive manner.
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andrealoper
11:31 am
very profound post. Only when we take the focus off ourselves do we get control over our emotions, attitudes, situations we’re in. I could sit and think on that forever. Thanks for putting into words what I know to be true inside but can’t always form into words!
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Randi :)
11:41 am
(smiling) We are only human and instinctively very selfish. I’ve been where you’ve been ever so often. When I am aware of the big picture, I tend to look at the things that went wrong thinking “This wont matter when I die” or “Thank God, its only this, at least we are alive, so we have a chance to do this well sometime later”. Somehow thinking like that makes me want to live a little more joyfully. When I focus on I, ME and Myself, like you, I dont make a pretty picture and mostly wish I could tear that moment up and redo it. Of course, life doesnt have a REDO button. As I age, those moments are becoming less, but I do slip up. I have learned to accept(still working on it) that I cant always be the perfect image I have of myself. So I try to keep my mouth shut, at least, I wouldnt add to the misery of the situation if I kept my tongue in check.
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mysoul
11:44 am
I wish I had some profound insight to add on how to stay cool but I don’t. Over the years I’ve become too serious, and I have lost the playful and carefree essence of youth. I lose my cool over the realities of life, and I have a hard time consciously choosing the kind of attitude to have. I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of taking 1 step forward and 8 steps back. Thanks for reminding a community of admirers that you’re human too.
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rg
12:52 pm
@rg, thanks so much for your honesty. I’ll be praying for you today.
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Pete Wilson
1:13 pm
I’m having a hard time deciding how to word this because I think it makes me sound like a Pollyanna, but I guess that’s ok.
This is one aspect of my life that works. The whole, “rolling with the punches-thing”. I completely agree with it only working if you leave behind the me-centered mindset. You are talking to a girl who has been confined to the inside of her condo all summer. I haven’t sat on my patio once. I haven’t gone out to dinner or watched fireworks or been to a barbeque. My only trips outside have been to see the doctor. And my life while inside is very painful and tiring. Life could be frustrating.
But I view everything in my life as this: “I have everything I need when I need it.” We were told that in Hebrews… that God would give us what we need when it was required, and I trust that so much more completely than I trust myself. So I am content that I can get through anything and that the best that can happen for me will. I just don’t always see the big picture, but I trust that He does.
I know it sounds stupidly simple, but I think sometimes we have to get back to the simplicity of trust before we can tackle the big things in front of us. So that’s how I live my life. And it is full of joy and blessings in the midst of really hard things. And I thank God every day that he has given me the kind of eyes that sees those thing.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you… it’s totally Pollyanna-ish, but there you go!
sara
http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com
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sara
1:27 pm
I’ve struggled through some hardships in my life (dad committed suicide when I was 13, 5 friends all died within a week, and list list goes on and on). I put things into perspective by knowing that it can be a lot worst, especially believers (Hebrews 13:3). Knowing that today could be my last day…how do I want to go out? I’m not perfect…just serve a perfect Savior. That’s all I can give you Pete. You be da man bro!
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Shane
1:52 pm
that photo is hilarious… love it… doesn’t help with having a bad day like that but it still reminds me of ways to overcome. I try to get out of the current situation and take a walk. Not always practical but it helps give me some separation and look at something more objectively.
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Scott Fillmer
2:01 pm
I make really inappropriate jokes and laugh about it.
Or I start ranting, swearing and banging/punching/throwing things in frustration.
Probably, neither is a very Christ-like or helpful way of dealing with difficult situations. But the ability to not take yourself to seriously and laugh about it is a good one (I think)
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brunettekoala
2:14 pm
Humor is good for me…and focusing on the fact that if God brought me to this, He will get me through it, too. I can either choose to be miserable and make those around me miserable, or I can laugh that God chose me for this *delightful* moment. I think God has a really good sense of humor. He must. That’s all I’m sayin’.
I’ve never left a comment here before, but I read your blog all the time. It’s very uplifting, thought provoking and funny. So I mentioned you over on my blog after a friend tagged me. I was to list my favorite 7 blogs. You made the list. Aren’t you honored? So if you are so inclined, you’ve been tagged by me to list your own 7 favorite blogs. The rules are over on mine.
Hope your week is fantastic! God bless – Cheri Pryor, a faithful reader
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Cheri Pryor
2:48 pm
@Shane, Wow. You put my problems in perspective in about two sentences. Thanks for sharing part of your journey with us.
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Pete Wilson
2:54 pm
I have to just comment because I used to live in Jensen Beach, Florida. Now I’m in Port St. Lucie which is the next town over. Anyway, I laughed to see my crib-ish place of stomping fun on your blog. LOL!
Heidi Reed
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candidchatter
3:39 pm
Pete,
Cool – thanks for posting this. I am not always grace under pressure also. It’c good to know other guys out there are human also.
I make the most by keeping a passionate vision in focus. If I’m busy fighting for a God-sized passionate vision then I don’t have time to focus on myself and be angry.
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Billy Chia
3:52 pm
@candidchatter, I think that makes two of you on here today from Jensen Beach. I had never hear of it. Small world.
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Pete Wilson
4:09 pm
KEEP keeping it real. I love that you actually admit you lost it. THat is so dope.
Man, I lose it a lot. Usually internal, but it is still losing it…I was reading Ps 7 today and it said I am running to you for dear life, the chase is wild. We dont have to be perfect, but we just have to keep running after him. And what is a good chase worth if it is not wild.
Here is to the wild ones, the flat tires, the birthdays, and grace.
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brewster
5:58 pm
I had a melt-down just a few days ago. It was over something that never even happened. The next day I pulled out my trusty Oswald Chambers and my morning devotional said this:
“It is not so true that ‘prayer changes things’ as that prayer changes me and I change things. God has so constituted things that prayer on the basis of Redemption alters the way in which a man looks at things. Prayer is not a question of altering things externally, but of working wonders in a man’s disposition.”
You guessed it. I had been neglecting my quiet time again.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m not the only one who is still subject to a tantrum. Sounds like I’ve got company.
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Tommy Sircy
6:35 pm
I have to admit I’m not the best at keeping a good attitude under pressure. My husband whoops my tail when it comes to the ability to stay calm in tough situations. However, how well I have been feeding myself spiritually I would say has the most to do with how I handle myself in times such as these. Sometimes….many times, I fall really short. What I really am comes out when pressure is applied, and sometimes even I don’t like what I see.
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Rachel Rowell
7:08 pm
Maybe the problem is we want to think we are more in control of our lives than we really are. I get SO frustrated when something takes my plans off course…I spend valuable energy trying to figure out how this could have happened…or what I could have done to prevent it. Somehow I think I have ultimate control of my life and the events that fill it. When reality slaps me upside the head, I don’t appreciate the reminder that I’m not “in control” and am, at times, at the mercy of life itself. That’s sometimes harder to accept than whatever the circumstance may be…
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Sue
7:13 pm
i have to tell myself often that i can not allow lifes struggles to dictate my day. i think i shared this ‘quote’ over at cindy bealls place awhile back and it fits here well too…
its actually a quote from “Franklin” the cartoon about a family of turtles on PBS. yah. i know! i heard it way back when my kids were toddlers and i havent forgotten it since.
basically, Franklin was having a “bad day” and his dad said this to him (pretty much)…
“there are no bad days. a day is simply a day. it cant help to be that. it is just a day. but it becomes what you make it to be.”
it stuck with me. i think its pretty good advice…from a turtle.
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tam
7:19 pm
I had a day like this a couple weeks ago that I wrote about. I was fed up and ready to just say “Take this job and shove it!” But eventually my thoughts were drawn to a family member who only has a few months left on this earth. It reminded me of something you talk about a lot Pete. That our days here are numbered. If my days are numbered, I don’t want to spend one with such a horrible attitude.
But, it’s not always easy to maintain this kind of perspective. Oftentimes, like Shane above, I find myself just repeating “It could be worse. It could be worse.” Not exactly inspirational, but true nonetheless.
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Aaron
8:04 pm
@ Tam, I love Franklin. It has all kinds of good lessons. Jett used to love that show.
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Pete Wilson
8:08 pm
Hey, maybe you could surprise your wife with a “redo” you know like when you were a kid. Make the night..amazing and tell her it is a “redo” for your bad attitude on her birthday. Too bad all of like isn’t full of “redo’s”
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Michele Helms
9:34 pm
I try not to live in the moment when things are stressful. I’ve found that when I am in the moment when struggles are happening my emotions take over and I forget that God has a bigger plan. I react too fast, I think of myself first, etc. I try to look through the lens of “Will this really matter in a year?”
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daniel d
9:56 pm
@ Michele Helms, Great idea!
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Pete Wilson
10:03 pm
This picture makes for some great red-neck jokes! Thanks for the laughs!
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centralcouples
12:07 am
Sometimes wax melts but when giving the chance to cool off it returns to its original solid form
So just try not to stand to close to the fire.
Im silly I know. I have just been thinking that since last night and had to post it to get i out of my head.
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Jennifer
7:09 am
Thank you, Pete, for being a REAL pastor. That is why I love reading your blog. Keep up the good work and continue to be that someone that others can relate to
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Joey
8:46 am
that is such a tight photo… definitely making the most of the situation that they had in front of them.
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Jihun
9:41 am
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