Years ago I read a book entitled “Wild at Heart” by John Eldridge. In the book Eldridge said that almost every young boy grows up asking a subconscious question of their father.
Do you think I have what it takes?
I believe that most of us grew up trying to find the answer to that question from our parents. I meet with people almost every day that have all kinds of wounds in their life because they never got this question answered from their parents.
I look for opportunities everyday to tell my boys that I believe in them. That I really believe “they’ve got what it takes.”
This has really challenged me this week as Jett is a part of a 3 day football camp. He’s wanted to do this all summer, against my better judgment. He’s easily the smallest kid out there by a foot. Thank God he’s fast!
I so desperately want to protect him, but I also want him to explore, learn, grow, dare, and try things I never tried!
Last night before camp he was nervous. Very nervous. We spent some time in the front yard getting ready for football camp. Thought you might enjoy the video.
[vimeo http://vimeo.com/1397713]
Now, a bit of honesty. Do you feel your parents answered this question for you? Either way, how do you think it’s impacted you?
my creative chaos,
Pete
i’m sure my parents did they best they could, but i do wonder if my tendencies toward perfectionism and fuzzy self worth are tied to my past. there have been times i haven’t struggled in my adult life, but the last six years have been really hard.
either way, i think it is great that you are pouring into your kids the way you and brandi do. that is awesome.
As a woman, I found “Wild at Heart” explained a lot of things to me regarding the two men in my life. They are exactly alike and while I relate to my daughter on so many levels, I had a difficult time understanding my husband and son even though I grew up in a house with 3 brothers and my Dad. So, girls! Read it – worth it and have a box of tissues.
I think the most wonderful thing my parents and my husband’s parents did for us both was to be there for us. They supported us, encouraged us, loved us. Taught us the meaning of hard work, teamwork and the importance of getting things done the right way. That applies to work, sports, parenting, friendships, and every aspect of our everyday lives. I thank God our parents had great parents, who had great parents, who had great parents. Etc. Etc. It is a living legacy of love.
You can tell your son feels supported and empowered by you and your wife, just by his confidence in this video.
My parents did a good job at encouraging me, but my mom is a perfectionist. I often struggled to live up to the standard she had for me. I still struggle with that. But all in all I know they love me and want to see me succeed.
@Starwoodgal, what a powerful legacy. I’m so thankful for wonderful Christian parents as well, that have instilled a legacy within me.
Ugh.. I wish I could say Yes. I want to say yes.. but the sad fact is I never got that affirmation from my parents growing up. I was often told that I couldn’t do things becasue of whatever reasons.. finances, no time to do them, ect. Like Anne my adult life has been somewhat of a struggle and now having 2 small kids of my own I want to change that. I want show them that I do know they have what it takes to do whatever they want to do.
I’m in my 50′s, and my Dad continues, nearly every day, to make me feel like I can never do anything right. Even as a Christian, I continued to struggle with this daily, for years. Now I believe I have found healing–by realizing it’s not even about me; it’s all about God. And my Dad’s comments now practically bounce off of me. God loves me unconditionally, and as I’ve drawn closer to Him (as my true Father) and believed in His love, He now loves (and blesses) others through me, even my Dad. But I did have to realize that it’s all about what Jesus does right or wrong, not about me; and He never makes a mistake. I had to understand that beautiful Grace of God, and get out of the performance mindset completely.
My dad used to play Devil’s advocate with us…and honestly it would break me every single time. I needed the affirmation not the need to think something through more.
It has completely shaped the way I deal with the boys. I take time to listen to them. I have learned their quirks as well as their strengths. If they want to try something, I try to find times that they can. There are many things I hope they remember about me when they leave the house but I hope that remembering mom was my biggest fan is up in the top.
Jett is blessed to have parents that are cheering him on!
My parents were pretty neutral on this probably because they were preoccupied and not very involved in what I was interested in. They didn’t necessarily discourage me, but I don’t think they knew how to encourage me. They operated out of what they knew which was a pretty small world view- small town, no college education, etc. They did the best with what they had and I really feel like God filled in the gaps where I needed the encouragement to pursue my dreams.
I think my parents tried to answer it, but in reality I just don’t think they actually could. I’m very independent and have to prove things to myself.
It wasn’t until I realized my own potential and executed my own personal strengths and abilities away from their umbrella that I realized I’ll always be able to make it.
Sadly no, my Dad was a heavy drinker and my parents divorced when I was young. My Mom, although wonderful, was really busy working and trying to figure out how to raise 4 kids alone. I always doubted “ME” until I grew up, grew strength, met God and realized that it’s my responsibility to determine my future in spite of my childhood. And I have. I also have great love for both of my parents today and a heart full of forgiveness for my Dad, who is now sober! He’s not much of a talker, but I know he’s very proud
!
P.S. LOVE THE VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel blessed that my parents always supported me and encouraged me as I was growing up. They made me believe that I could do whatever I put my mind to.
The funny thing is – now that I’m “grown-up” (a term I use very loosely) and I am beginning to explore my call to serve God in ministry that same support and belief isn’t there. I get more questions, comments and doubt then I ever did as a kid.
I know as a father myself now that this is one of the same things that I struggle with when it comes to my son. I truly believe there is nothing he can’t do if he sets his mind to it. Making sure that I am consistent in that message to him when I see so much potential but sometimes so little effort on his part is the challenge I face.
Oh – and the helmet thing…my son had the SAME problems when he played. We shaved his head to make it easier
i definitely felt the support of family members, not all but most…that is a huge thing…even as an adult i tend to seek that, but now in my spouse…i would have to agree with eldridge in that it is important, i just don’t know to what level…we still have the ability to choose our path…
that is one of the reasons i have always longed to be a father and now enjoy being one…i’m always seeking opportunities to just love on and encourage molly…
@Emily Rowe & @Julie Jarvis, I think it’s so cool that you both have been able to overcome. Forgiveness and restoration is a beautiful thing.
My parents did a great job doing that with me. I fear I don’t do as well with my own kids. I need to work on that. I need to start looking past my stress and impatience and see the future of my boys being shaped by my words.
Thanks for the reminder.
I had a set of parents that supported me, one more than the other, but I never knew from them that I had what it took. This rolled over into my adult life as I tried to succeed in school, work and life and found that though I am smart and can earn a degree, work, and attempt life, maybe I don’t have what it takes. But I can tell you that through God’s grace I am learning.
Thanks for the post.
Luckily, my parents have always been incredibly encouraging, and always told me I could do anything I put my mind to, and my parents both worked up until I was 12, but were ALWAYS there for the important things in my life, maybe not a field trip here or there, but they put us kids first, and that makes a HUGE difference.
I think if there’s something a child wants to do so badly, (and this excludes the obvious smoking/drinking/drugs lol) they need to find out for themselves that it’s not for them, at least they learned about it for themselves . I mean, as a kid, did you ever want to take your parents’ word for it??? I think not!
Great topic !!
I feel like at times I was discouraged from trying things that I might fail at because my parents couldn’t stand the thought of seeing me disappointed. I try not to do that with our son now, but sometimes it’s hard. I understand more now that I am a parent why my parents said/did some of the things they did (although I wish at times it had been different).
I think that as a parent you have to walk a thin line of protecting/guiding while still allowing the child/children to be free enough to try whatever it is they want to experience.
My son is a HUGE perfectionist at 13 – he wants to do everything the best and we’ve had to really work with him to not be so hard on himself when it’s not perfect. I have tried to be open and let him experience life and I wonder if perfectionism is something we might actually just be born with.
@pete after I read Wild At Heart I immediately called a Christian counselor and began sessions. That book messed me up worse than anything I have every read. It made me look at myself hard and why I had become the man that I was. After a few sessions I had to forgive those in my past for things they may not have even known they had done. I am not sure if you have ever spoken on these issues directly but man would this make an incredible sermon series / small group. If you could make sure the man/husband/father of the house is on stable ground with his compass pointed only to the Lord you would see the world change one family at a time.
Now as to the man part of this video, you have got to get Jett to tuck that ball a little better, I am sure that one was a little big for him. You can see the natural talent there though. That Wheeler gene pool is strong.
@jett, run north and south and keep those feet pumping. You da man…
First of all, LOVE the ball-flip at the camera after putting Dad on the ground with his sweet moves!! He’s gonna be just fine!
As for my dad, he always told me I could do anything, and I believed him. As I’ve grown up, I understand better that he said those things out of a fear that I would turn out like him. My struggle now is to act out of courage instead of fear.
@Kristy, I’m glad to know someone else’s kid is perfectionist as well. Jett didn’t like the video when he saw it this morning because he said I showed him getting tackled to much.
I got mixed messages from my parents… “do everything you can to get ahead… but don’t expect me to help.” They never encouraged me to play sports, to excel at school, to find the perfect career. I think they didn’t really know how to do those things. They absolutely loved me and wanted me to excel – they just didn’t know how. They didn’t play sports, they didn’t go to college, we lived a typical midwestern family life – love one another, work hard, go on vacation, love some more, then work some more.
What I took from this is to constantly offer encouragement to my daughters. I send them emails from time to time telling them this. I tell them they are great (because they are – proud parent you know) and that can succeed. If they ask how, we sit down and talk about that. If they want to play sports, I am there. If they want to play an instrument, I am there. Am I one of those parents on the “side lines’ living through my kids – no… but I encourage them. I want to be there and be an example in their life.
Just my thoughts.
I did have alot of support from quite a few family members. I will say though that when one parent is missing in action that it can truly cause many issues that will need dealt with.
But, when I became 18 I remember learning…” I am accountable for myself. When I get to Heaven God won’t accept..but I did this or that because my parent wasn’t there…” Nope…it’s all me there to see…to judge alone. thanking God is realized it at that point and that I quit using it as an excuse to live in fear, to not trust others, etc. 
I love though how my other parent and extended family were there…always there to cheer me on. 
My dad always taught me never to do anything half way(of course dad never said way) and he taught me never quit anything. He encouraged me to strive to be better than anyone else at what your doing, but he never made me feel inferior when I failed. The way he did that may look a little rough to an outsider, but I always understood what he was doing and why, because he always made a point of explaining it to me.
@ Jett, north and south buddy, you can out juke your old man, keep movin those feet. You looked great, your a very talented player.
the testosterone on this blog is overwhelming!!!!!
I love the video – especially the last part! Great post as well – I know as father’s we have such an amazing responsibility and privilege. Thanks for the encouragement and challenge. And hopefully we can connect sometime soon!
Mom, yes. Dad, no. I wanted support, acceptance, and encouragement from my dad with my music more than anything. I’d be practicing guitar and he would either leave the room, or worse than that he’d start whistling another song. He’d simply tune me out which was infuriating. He wanted me to be into sports. I was into sports but unfortunately sports weren’t all that into me. My goal was to keep practicing until he HAD to notice but it didn’t seem to matter what I did, he just wasn’t into it. So I’d practice harder.
When I first told him I was thinking about leaving my day job to do music full time he looked at me like I’d lost my mind. His first question was something like, “If it doesn’t work out do you think they’d take you back?” That was pretty tough to take.
But, I was blessed. About a year before he died I played him a demo and all at once, out of the blue, he totally went off. “Wow! That’s you? I didn’t know you could do that! That’s…actuuuuaaaaally good!” It was like he hadn’t had any idea that I was a musician until that very moment. I was stunned. I was also highly amused for some strange reason. He often told me he was proud of me. I’d often tell him I was thankful for him being there no matter what, so I guess I felt like we were square. I’d come to realize by then that he loved me and accepted me regardless of my choice of careers so the music acceptance thing just wasn’t all that big of a deal anymore. Years before I’d longed for that day, but when it finally came I knew in the grand scheme it didn’t really matter. I guess that’s why it struck me so funny.
After he died my sister told me that about a month before he passed she’d asked him what he thought about the fact that I was considering leaving my day job to go into music full time. She said he scratched his head a couple times and then he looked her straight in the eye and said, “I think he should go for it.” When she told me that I totally lost it. I may have realized by then that I didn’t “need” his acceptance of my career choice; but knowing that I now had it rocked my world.
He wasn’t much of a musical supporter when I thought that’s what was important, but if I’d won his support earlier I may not have tried so hard so I view it as a blessing all the way around. God’s watch keeps perfect time…mine’s either fast or slow.
No matter how you look at it my father couldn’t have been a better ‘dad’. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t influence my thoughts or actions in a positive way. I miss him tremendously.
i feel a bit like anne. i have perfectionistic, overly responsible, need for approval tendencies. It wasn’t helped any at all by entering a field that – at the time and still today – is primarily a male field. While there are women in ministry leadership the percentage is much lower and MUCH DEBATED. Because of this debate I have struggled with feeling good enough – not for my parents, but for God Himself.
My parents did well at this with one exception. Nothing less than the top was “good” and being at the top was what was just expected. I was an adult before I realized that being #15 in my class and graduating with honors was GOOD!!!! I felt so guilty that I didn’t do better.
I carry this with me today – I never, ever think what I do is good enough. I struggle within myself to think “I did a good job.” I always see what could have been improved.
Yes I believe my parents answered the question for me, and I believe I walked away feeling that I had what it took to make it in individual endeavors and in life in general. Even though I grew up in church & went to some Christian schools, my dad tried to protect me from believing what I was taught just because it was in a curriculum book, he would challenge me, “is that what you believe the Bible is saying?” He encouraged for me to study it out and find out on my own, by doing so, I believe he was telling me I had what it took to discover truth for myself, even though we all need guides and teachers, I felt he enabled me to grow, learn, discover, and take risks on my own.
I guess that’s why I call my dad a lot to ask his advice on things, not only for his wisdom, but to get his affirmation that he believes I have what it takes…maybe we never grow out of wanting to know that?
@Bill Renfrew, having walked with you during the time that you lost your father, I got a front row seat to much of what you are talking about. Just wanted to affirm you that I thought you handled it well. I know it wasn’t easy.
Pete, Thanks for this video. Brought smiles to my face today. My Grandmother went into the hospital yesterday due to heart failure. She will be getting a pacemaker this afternoon.(Please pray for her and my mom) As far as the question, my Mom gave and gave but I always wanted my Dad’s approval and encouragement. Keep up the awesome work at being a wonderful Dad to your boys! Much love, Jen from Cali.
Obviously our parents’ relationships molded us and affected us. My parents told me that I could do whatever I want, but didn’t necessarily proclaim it in a blaze of glory or push me to to so. They left it up to trial and error I suppose, and boy have I made some errors! How our parents did or didn’t jack us up is a discussion that could go on for days and days. However, I decided that when I turned 30, it was time to anaylze how their example affected me, figure out how I want to do it differently and move on. Easier said than done though, right? It didn’t necessarily answer all of my questions, it was just my way.
@pete – please tell Jett to cover the nose of the football up with his hand, otherwise it will get stripped every time. I know this because I have been holding my breath every Saturday in Knoxville during football season for the last 35 years!
I don’t remember my parents being very encouraging or motivating. My mom was a single mom trying to raise 3 kids alone. My dad was a truck driver and we spent just a few weeks a year with him. I have a good relationship with both of my parents now. My mom is pretty encouraging and roots me on a lot in my role of parent. Of course, sometimes she doesn’t agree with my parenting and then she’s not so encouraging.
My dad can be encouraging, but it’s not the norm. At least he’s not discouraging though. I think the true test for my dad and stepmom will be when I tell them that we are going to homeschool our kids this year. That will be a pretty good indicator to me if they are going to be encouraging and supportive or not. I guess it really doesn’t matter, but I would love to have their support. (and approval. I wish I didn’t desire my parent’s approval).
Now, about the video… I think Jett is going to do great! He’s pretty quick and has good moves. You’re a great dad for getting out there and playing with him, and for encouraging him!
After not seeing my dad for 10 years we got together 3 years ago…now we keep in touch daily, and I know I have what it takes. Now that I am a dad, it is pretty scary considering that my boys and girls are asking that question of me. I hope they hear me saying yes. Thanks for this post…I think I needed it.
@Jen, I’m praying for your grandmother. Please let us know how she’s doing!
It is amazing the similarities that we all grew up with. But to add to the pile….
My parents supported a lot of what I did within reason but at the same time tended to cut me off from some of the things that could have been really positive developmentally. Especially within my spiritual life.
My father has never been a spiritual person and in turn made it somewhat difficult to enjoy the experience.
I have tried to mold some of the great characteristics of my family into my own life as I have gotten older, but also tried to improve on what they did for me as well.
I love my parents for my upbringing but feel there are things I need to do much different with my own child.
Even though it maynot be my cup of tea, I am going to stand back and support in many cases….even if there should be an “I told you so” moment….that is where I will differ and hopefully keep my mouth shut.
Pete, your doing good by your kids…..keep it up.
Mom always encouraged me when I was doing well and making her proud. Unfortunately, the times I needed to hear that I had what it takes, she was not there. She was usually dragging me down. My dad is been absent from my life, off and on since I was 10. Before I knew Christ, I mourned and grieved over the absence of my eartly dad. We do not have a relationship today because he criticizes everything I do, in front of my children, so I haven’t seen him in 2 years. He doesn’t know the Lord, and doesn’t seem to want to know. All I can do is pray for him, but the good news is that I no longer seek acceptance from him and I know longer mourn or grieve over his absence, because Jesus fills me up!
wish i could spell better…..oh my
Man Awesome video and thanks for the Rocky music. My dad was always there and he wanted me to be great. I was always encouraged with sports but like other people have said in the realm of my christian walk my dad and I have never been on the same page. My father didn’t become a christian until I was almost out of High School, I had already been a Christian for 4 years and I think because of that I am the one that is most distant from my father. I don’t think my brothers or I ever made it easy, we were a wild bunch (and still are). My dad has had a long road, they had me when they were 19 and I am sure they were forced to grow up fast and learn on the fly. But that doesn’t change or make up for the void I feel now.
I hope I can be a great husband and eventually a great dad, i want to be an encourager. Pete I respect the father you are and you an encouragement to me. Thank you.
Pete you might need to light that Tyler candle after that practices. One thing with boys–you already know–they smell!
Thanks for sharing that-I’ll post Daniel’s when he starts playing in the fall. Is Jett playing tackle?
great video! he has what it takes!!
My goodness… that video was hilarious.. he might be ready, I don’t know about you though! LOL. As for the parenting part… this is a hard one. As I am growing up (I still feel like a kid) I am realizing that I didn’t have the kind of support and encouragement that a child should have had. My mom and dad divorced when I was 2 and she moved me to CA. I don’t even remember meeting my dad until I was 6 or 7. The phone calls where few and far between that usually just consisted of hello, how are you? kind of stuff… he didn’t really ever listen or encourage me one way or another. My mom… well that’s another story. One thing I never lacked from her was love… but that didn’t include a lot of discipline, encouragement or drive to stick with it when i wanted to quit something. Boy oh boy… this could turn into a post of my own. Anywho, I am glad to be indentifying stuff now and hopefully I can learn enough to be better for my children in the future.
Just wait until your kid hits you and you’re the one who has to get up!
@Jeff Gibson, I’m afraid this could be sooner than later.
Jett better cover that ball up or Brewer will knock it out with that BATT!
LOL i love the ending. “who you looking at?” haha too cute.
my parents are encouraging, but whether or not i listen to it is another story. growing up, i was really shy and never thought i had what it took to do things, so i was the one holding myself back. after doing it once, though, im good to go! the DR trip was a huge deal for me, and once i made up my mind to go, my parents were very encouraging and helpful. i’m already planning to go back next summer!
Honestly… My parents had 7 kids. I was the firstborn. I feel like after I was about 12 they didn’t have enough time. They loved me, yes. I knew that. But they were so busy with everyone else. My youngest sister is 14 years my junior. See, my brother had just been born when I was 12 and 2 years later another baby. By the time I was 16 I was off and running and doing whatever I wanted. My parents didn’t catch on until I was 19 and decided to date/marry a man 20 years my senior. I know they love me. However, I could have used a lot more supervision. A lot more. I could have used a lot more honesty from them and many more grown up talks about relationships (friends, boyfriends, etc). I could have used their time.
Anyway… that’s the truth from my perspective.
Heidi Reed
My parents were always very supportive and still are to this day. I thank God for that in a very serious way for this. There may have been a few times early in life that my ego was a little inflated, but somehow my parents always made me realize that reagardless of talent level, I needed to work hard at what I was doing to succeed.
My .02
i love it around the 50 second mark when he throws the ball down like the stud he is. incredible!
“Do you feel your parents answered this question for you? Either way, how do you think it’s impacted you?”
no. in fact. i heard just the opposite. nearly every day. the impact? brent and i make sure our kiddos know we believe in them. we are their biggest fans. they are secure in that.
Yardball, there is nothing like it. I’ve had two broken ankles to prove it. Jett’s gonna take you out before too long, if Brewer doesn’t get you with the bat first.
I loved “Wild at Heart”, it should be on the required reading list.
Pete…I was not expecting the question at the end.
I think the best way to answer your question is point you to my testimony.. http://philter48.wordpress.com/ckroboths-testimony/
Wanting to be the center of attention compensated for not hearing those words from my Dad. Don’t get me wrong I loved my Dad dearly, and he was there for me all the time, but he was not one to verbally show his emotions…
I actually just read this book recently and I have been thinking about it a ton. Not sure on that question. I have thought about it in a while though.
Wow – after reading some of these responses I feel SO VERY incredibly blessed to have parents that were extremely encouraging and the best cheerleaders for anything I wanted to do in life. They let me make mistakes but they knew when to step in and intervene. They absolutely believed and still believe that I can do absolutely anything in life that I set my mind to. I tend to parent Sam and Bailey the way that I was parented so hopefully we are on the right track. Thanks, Pete, for bringing this to my attention. With the MANY things we have to do as parents, letting kids know that we believe in them is right there at the top!
My mom was my main parent…my dad was…well…deadbeat. And even though her motives were probably good, no she didn’t answer that question for me all the time. In fact, she told me the opposite on a few occasions. Something I’ve always remembered, and has been a significant memory in counseling, was when I was in HS I wanted to play soccer. She laughed, told me I’d never be able to do, I couldn’t run that fast for that long, I was a big sissy (okay I was but she didn’t need to tell me) and that I shouldn’t bother trying. Years later, she says she was trying to protect me from embarrassing myself. I think I’d rather take the embarrassement. There were other moments like these, but there were also other moments where she pushed me to be my best and encouraged me, but always in areas she wanted.
I think as parents we do the best we can, and sometimes the best happens to not be good enough. Unfortunately. I don’t fault my mom anymore for what she said or didn’t say to me…. but I still deal with it everyday in areas of my life.
Parents are SO influential and if we’re lucky, we realize just how influential we really are before we repeat our parents mistakes.
Dad has always tried to be good at this, however it has come more to us as an adult then when we were younger… He just wasnt around enough in those days and didnt get our life style in the church…
Great post Pete! We’re both experiencing the same thing at the same time. Both of my boys are playing football for the first time this year. My youngest son Cody is the right guard on the pee wee team and Dalten is a wide receiver on the 7-8yr olds. Here’s what I tell my boys to do: “Don’t cry when you’re hit, pick yourself up when you get knocked down, use what you’ve learned, and next time you’ll knock him on the ground.” That’s basically the same thing my dad told me as a kid.
“There’s more potential inside of you than I have in my little toe, so just go do it.”
- My dad
Side note: He was my best man at my wedding. It’s easy for me to say that he shaped me into who I am today.
I am so grateful that my parents took the time to say they supported me and were proud of me. I knew that they believed in me. What a gift.
Sounds like your little boy will be able to say the same thing about his dad.
Why do we do what we do as parents? We may try our best and have expectations of it being good enough. But ultimately, the kids grow up and become pretty much images of who we are. The key to their success is getting their eyes off us and on the perfection of their heavenly Father. What better model of parenting could there be?
My Daddy always told me, “I may be your earthly dad, but you have only One Real Father. And that relationship is the most important.”
Yes, that directly impacts how I parent. All three of our sons are Christ-followers. And I know they are only on loan to me/us. NO matter what I do, or do not do, or whatever… only One can ultimately save them.
This post hits home for me in a million ways Pete. I too read “Wild at Heart” and it was right after I got saved. I loved the book, it painted Christianity and a relationship with Christ in a way that I could really grab on to.
Now the father wound is one that is getting lanced right now by the enemy, and maybe by Jesus, as I prepare to head overseas as a missionary in Paris. The world around me is lifting me up, and encouraging me, and trying to get me ready to step into something huge and far beyond a world I have ever dreamt of… my Father on the other hand, is panicked, and out of his panic he is tearing me down, being very hurtful, vengeful, and is at the point of sabatoge to stop this trip from happening. The wound may have been deep, but now it is getting gnarly.
So, here I am 52 days from leaving the country for at LEAST a year… and all I am hearing from my father is how stupid of a decision this is, and how I am neglecting my duty to the family. It is literally tearing me apart.
SO I guess the purpose of my spilling of the beans here is two fold, one… it is an excuse to talk about what is on my heart to someone who isn’t tired of hearing about it (and who, in a wierd way, asked.) And two, to explain and maybe underline the continued importance of a father’s encouragement… I really miss my father’s right now.
@ScottMocha, Man your tearing me up. I’m so sorry to hear about your father.
I’m so excited to hear about your trip to Paris and I will be praying for you. I know God is going to use you in a huge way!
I just finished reading The Journey of Desire by Eldredge. The Counselor asked me to read it a year ago, but I told him I was on a 1 year sabbatical from all Christian Self Help books. July was the 1 year anniversary of that…so….I reluctantly began reading the book.
MAN. Who IS this John Eldredge and where have I been while he’s been writing all this great stuff?? Oh yeah! In that church that we no longer speak of. LOL! I couldn’t put the book down. I’m soaking it in right now. Eventually I’ll read his other stuff.
Anyway – my parents always told me I had what it took to succeed in life. But it was always coated with a nice thick layer of criticism. So. That’s not fun. But it was what it was and now it is what it is. Moving forward…..
@ the 0:51 mark ….he looks like such a BAD A
My father passed away when I was 17 but left my family when I was 10. This is terrible in itself but not in any way a rare truth in lots of kids lives today. My mother married a guy who ended up taking care of me and he raised me better than my own father could have (no offense dad!). I think the main reason for this is because he walked me through each stage of boyhood and then even through manhood. I too am a huge fan of John Eldredge and the follow up book to Wild At Heart is called Way of the Wild Heart (best book I hae ever read!) and it was only through reading that book that I realized how blessed I was to have been raised the way I was. He really showed me that I “had what it takes”. Really a God thing for sure! This has impacted my life in such a monumentous way that I just pray that I can pass it on to my son (who will be here any day by the way!)
I have written a poem in tribute of the ideas my mother taught me.
To My Mother, Barb Izydorek
by
Kim Hewison
Thank you for teaching me the important lessons in life.
Believe in yourself,
Respect yourself.
If you don’t, no one else will.
Love yourself.
And others will find you lovable.
Smile.
Add sunshine to the cloudy days.
Don’t give up on your dreams.
When the world knocks you down,
Pick yourself up,
Dust yourself off,
To try, try again.
You’re never to old for dreams to come true.
Video – too cute, Pete!
Dan has been telling me I should read that book, too….
This is a hard post to respond to. I am pretty sure with the tools and experiences my parents had; they did their best. But no. Growing up, they didn’t answer this for me. I had to figure it out on my own. They totally allowed me to explore and seek God and in encouraging me to do that…I found the Cross and my place in the world, but I did not grow up believing “I have what it takes”. I seriously doubt that they believed that they did either…Do any of us really? My parents got married young and dad pulled himself out of addiction and the life that follows and now they have been married over 30 years. I know they have regrets, but looking back…I think they are answering that question for me now and helping, equipping and supporting my husband and I to stick it out on the mission field and that to me means more then the scary place of adolescence.