I Need To Confess
Yesterday at Cross Point Nashville, Pastor Tom spoke on the spiritual discipline of confession. I thought it was a fantastic message and it really got me thinking. He talked about how, as Christians, many of us have grown up in a religious format that has taught us how to “pretend”.
My guess is that many of us have layers and layers of different masks we wear. Some of these masks cover up pain from our past. Some of the masks cover up habitual sin in our life. Maybe the masks cover up our insecurities.
And most of the time I don’t think we realize just how dangerous these masks are.
There was a quote that I heard or read years ago, I can’t even remember who said it, but it has always stuck with me. It went something like this…
“You can only be loved to the extent that you are known”
This is so true! And I have a lot of work to do in this area. I’m still tempted to hide instead of reveal. I’m tempted to make myself sound a lot more spiritual than I really am. Tempted to act like I have faith when I really don’t. Tempted to tell stories that make me sound like I’m a better husband or father than I really am.
I guess I sometimes just find it easier to pretend and cover up than to live totally authentic.
I think we have a long way to go in today’s church to truly understand what confessional community looks like. We can preach it all day, but as church leaders we have a lot of work to do to create environments where people feel safe to live this out.
I know I’m committed, and so are our elders, to taking the steps needed to create this kind of life changing, authentic, community here at Cross Point.
So, why do you think we wear so many masks?
57 Comments:
Well as much as I’d like to think I’m pretty shatteringly honest, I think we wear masks for protection. From them. You know. The people. They are so judgmental. In this society of image is everything. It’s hard to take off the veil.
I strive to be authentic. Sometimes it’s an all out war!
Great post.
Heidi Reed
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candidchatter
4:56 am
To be honest I think some of it is learned behavior that we are almost unaware of or we’ve just busied ourselves so much we don’t have to stop and think about it. Someone very wise said “The unexamined life is not worth living.” In order to confess we must be self aware. (I know some things are more obvious than others) And many of us are AFRAID because we have been so very hurt in church. WE just don’t know if the community we are in can be trusted. Finally I think we sometimes project who we think we ought to be, trying to cover inadequacies. These are big for me.
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janowen
4:56 am
When I was a brand new Christian, I heard a quote “It takes courage to be vulnerable” I had always thought of vulnerability as a weakness. That changed my perspective and I started revealing my heart to people. The thing that tempts me to start wearing masks the most, is feeling misunderstood. If it is some surfacey thing people are misunderstanding, I can shrug my shoulders, if they are misanderstanding and especially rejecting, my heart, they pain is almost unbearable. The reward has been deep, strong relationships that are beautiful. It is worth it, but still one of the hardest things God asks me to do.
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tawny
5:15 am
If everyone would just take down their masks how much easier it would be for us to live as Christians knowing that we are not the only one that struggles, I feel that so many times in my church that I feel like I am in the middle of the song Stained Glass Masquerade.
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong
Great song that shows just how much we need to take down our masks.
Great post!
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Lauren
5:24 am
I am that way…and I hate it. It is so much easier to hide and conceal rather than just be real. I think for me I get afraid.. ya know. Its something that the devil uses against me..and I use a lot of “what if” thoughts. But this is one of my goals this year to live a more authentic life.. to be more tranparent. I never thought it would be so hard. But in the end it is so much more worth it.
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Adam O
5:36 am
Being transparent is definitely a stance of strength. People are so afraid that if people really know what they’re like, they’ll be taken advantage of. They also think that if people know the real them, they’ll look down on them. People are gonna look down on you anyway! Not everyone will like you anyhow! Who cares what others think? They’re insignificant. I think about it this way: these people do not pay my rent, therefore, their opinion doesn’t count!
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Rachel
5:37 am
We’re afraid of rejection and loss. Loss of friendships, family, loss of respect. Personally, I’m really learning how to be transparent and I prefer it. I know that my relationships are more valid, genuine and authentic when transparency exists. When you take off your masks….you might lose some things and relationships, but they probably weren’t worth having in the first place. I’d rather wear the light of Christ than any mask…but i’m not always good at accomplishing that.
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melissa irwin
5:41 am
I don’t want people to see what a mess I really am.
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jason
5:45 am
Great thoughts!
It was John Ortberg who I believed coined that phrase.
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Ted
5:53 am
@ Melissa. I think you’ve partially identified my problem. On more than one occasion (ok, frequently) people will write or call me offended by how vulnerable I am. I think people really want to believe their pastors are without fault. We probably all want to think that the people in our life or without fault for that matter.
Not being vulnerable at times can be a defense mechanism for me. It’s my way of trying to escape certain criticisms that come with living an authentic, real, life before everyone.
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Pete Wilson
6:08 am
Pressure – Whether it is from peers or leaders. I grew up in a church & Christian school that if you didn’t look, smell, or act a certain way you were flat out told you were probably not saved. (It wasn’t church wide, but with some people in influential roles). So how can you feel free to be authentic or to “confess” the areas you struggle in when the person you are most likely going to open up to is going to lead you back to what’s not the problem ‘salvation.’ So you learn to put on a mask and to fake it but soon people fall away because they never get help…you can only pretend for so long. The students always led the way for any “revival” in the church, because about once a year they would get saved (again), when really all they needed to do was confess.
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ncarnes
6:16 am
I grew up in a church where we were taught to “be like Jesus”. Jesus was perfect, without sin. I am so UNPERFECT and will never BE PERFECT. It is an unattainable goal to be perfect. But, he still loves me in all my imperfectness. I know that now. I think people want to fit in and blend. Say the right thing, wear the right clothes, and have the right image even with our Christian families. Aren’t we suppose to be able to trust “our families” to love us for who we really are? The truth is: Jesus was himself…..always himself with everyone. He was loved and he was hated. One of the best ways to try and be like Jesus that we can achieve is to be ourselves, loved or hated, be ourselves and walk in faith. It has been a difficult lesson for me over the years, but so much easier once I’ve accepted that I cannot be something I am not and accept the love that comes my way when I am loved for who I am.
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Starwoodgal
6:19 am
It was a great message. A painful one but great.
Pete, I think our small groups have helped me more in this discipline than anything else. When we see and interact with people who are struggling with the same things we struggle with, it becomes clear how important it is to confess one to another. It’s still painful but it is the good kind of pain. Does that make any sense at all?
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Tommy Sircy
6:22 am
@pete sometimes I think these masks protect us from ourselves as well. If we took the time to be honest with others we would also have to be honest with ourselves and agree to work and pray and try to remove these masks. That could be an ugly and drawn out mess even if we never opened up to anyone else but ourselves.
It is much easier to keep that mask in place. Makes our lives a neater more easy to control package.
I have thought a lot about @Anne lately. The masks we wear can easily be a source of great stress which can lead to almost anything; hospitals, divorce, addictions and even suicide.
It just seems easier in the begining to keep those masks in place…
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Harold McKee
6:44 am
Pete,I think that being vulnerable can frighten people. If we are real and authentic perhaps they will be forced to look at their life too. And often we as Christians “hyper-spiritualize” our issues. Feeling sad? “The joy of the Lord is our strength!!”. I wonder if at some level some might think that our honest emotions and questions will somehow knock God off His throne. Vulnerability and openness requires us to move beyond pat answers and “God speak”. This at times really upsets people because I think it challenges them.
@Harold – I think self-honesty is HUGE. It’s easier to deceive ourselves as well……sometimes the first confession is simply to admit to ourselves that we have a problem.
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janowen
6:53 am
It’s so hard when you try to be open, take down those masks and be shot in the foot. But I have learned in the past couple of weeks, that masks I didn’t know I had, or did know and didn’t want to admit are slowly being peeled away, gently sometimes, harder others. I agree that when we remove a mask we place ourselves in a state of vulnerablity and that hurts and we all run from it. But I know that without peeling away of those masks, God will never be able to do his complete work in me. It takes time, and for me, a long time as there are alot of masks still there to be peeled away.
God never told us it would be easy. But He did tell us He would be there through it.
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pollyh
7:20 am
I think everyone is right on point here.
We are so keyed up worried about our idenity, how we look to others, and scared to know ourselves. That we forget that the God who knit us in our mothers womb knows us down to the very last cell in our body.
He knows our true idenity, and to humble ourself to Him and be vunerable is against every lie this world has thrown at us.
Pete the author and perfector of our faith was Humble to the Cross. The ultimate perfection of masculinity. Do not be ashamed of being vunerable and transparent if you are doing so with Christ as your model.
Who God knows us as is what we strive for not who others know us as.
(Please parson any typos. This has been thumbed out on my Blackberry)
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ckroboth
7:27 am
Not being authentic is something we have been taught to “get along” in this world. How many of us with kids have ever been in public and our child openly points out the “fat” lady in line if front of us! I cringe and explain how they shouldn’t point that out because it is rude. But on the inside, I have just thought the same thing. Now, I am not suggesting that we all start calling a spade a spade when we see one but I am just pointing out that we are born vulnerable and honest and we have been taught to “not be rude” to society and to our selves so that we don’t hurt anyone’s feelings or our own pride.
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Marla P
7:33 am
i had to write that quote on the whiteboard… what a huge thought!
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ryan guard
7:48 am
Fear and insecurity are the driving forces behind masks for me. I think there is also a bit of survival in it. I’ve learned to be what I think everyone wants me to be, to stay out of trouble, to stay off the radar and be the ‘perfect’ me that I think I ought to be. Yeah, I know I have a long way to go to really live in confessional community.
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Jenni Catron
7:56 am
Great blog! This has been something I have been dealing with for the past few months (okay, a lifetime….but more indepthly the past few months). I think there are the personal reasons (which have already been articulated) why people wear masks–protection, fear, self-defense, etc. The flip side is that we (as individuals) don’t know how to react when people are real with us…what do we do with the hard truth when someone confesses who they really are or what struggles that they are dealing with…when they are completely real with us? We don’t know what to do….do we give that pat answer, do we judge them, do we ignore them?
We have not been equipped to deal with “real” people…
There’s not an easy answer… but awareness is the first step…then it’s us individually becoming real with those closest to us…and learning that it’s safe to be real.
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Susie A.
7:59 am
This is something I’ve recently “revealed” about myself as I keep my blog about transforming my life. For years I heard one of our pastor’s talk about “being real”…but I never equated it with my habitual sin, I equated it with being real and letting people know I loved God. Let’s not mistake the fact that just because we love God, does not mean our lives are free of every day habitual, no good for us and we know it sin! Not until recently did I open myself up to the fact that I HAVE A FOOD ADDICTION and it’s the biggest mask I wear…ironic, when sometimes (in my case) you can’t “hide” a food addiction saying as my body shows it). It’s very freeing being real, and to tell you the truth, people hold me more accountalbe and love me more than I had even imagined. I’m all about being authentic right now…I’ve nothing to hide anymore. I struggle. I’m human. Thanks for this post!
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Lisa Feather
8:08 am
Great post and great quote. This is a MAJOR struggle for me. Everyone make a lot great points.
I grew up in a very rigid church enviornment. For me… I think I’m just learning what being real, authentic and being myself with no masks looks like. I know that sounds a little silly, but I’ve spent most of my life looking up to people who really weren’t being real with themselves. (and because of that when the masks came off it was shocking and hurtful) I’m not blaming those people one bit, I understand why it happens. I’ve just looked at people and thought..I’ll never be able to live up to that. (only to find out they weren’t really living up to it either.) I don’t want to prentend to live up to standands that aren’t real. I want to be who Christ wants me to be. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that what He has made us to be is better than any man made mask we create ourselves.
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amanda
8:16 am
@Lisa Feather, Thanks so much for your brave honesty. I’ll be praying for you.
I love the way authenticity almost creates this instant community among one another.
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Pete Wilson
8:21 am
I think we hid behind masks because of how sinful we are. A truly godly person would have nothing to hide. I believe as we grow in Christ-likeness and true godliness, we will have less and less to hide.
Sure, there will be some things we want to keep private, but privacy is different than fakery. Being sincere doesn’t mean we have to share every detail of our life with everyone. It does mean that when we tell someone we will pray for them, we actually will– we aren’t just lying to sound caring and spiritual when we really aren’t. Just my two cents.
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Samuel Laurence Guzmán
8:39 am
Great post and great discussion going on in the comments. I can relate to a lot of the reasons mentioned. It’s not easy to be authentic, but it’s so important. Something I definitely need to work on.
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Jenny in Nebraska
8:44 am
One more comment. I think we should just admit from the outset that we are nothing but miserable sinners saved by grace. As we grow in the Christian life, it’s not that we need less and less of God’s grace and mercy, we will actually need more as we come to realize day by day how sinful we are. Recognizing our sin should just drive us to look to Jesus more. “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” Being honest about our sin is one thing, but if we are confessing our faults just to feel better, it’s missing the point. Acknowledging our sin should only drive us to look to Christ more for grace and strength. It’s not about what we have or haven’t done for God, it’s about what He’s done for us in His Son.
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Samuel Laurence Guzmán
8:44 am
There is a danger that being vulnerable can turn into a drive for attention and sympathy. There is a struggle that I am currently facing… a battle with a particular pattern of sin… that part of me wants to write a blog post on as an effort to share, be honest, and maybe inspire someone else going through it to seek help.
Sometimes it is easier to share something on line with complete strangers. I would have done that on my old blog because there were only a few people who knew me personally. With the new one and its connections to church and a number of others who are watching me because they are curious about Jesus, I’m far more careful about what I say and how I say it.
Another part of me says ‘No, you don’t need to broadcast this particular thing to the world. Not everyone can help you. Not everyone can hold you accountable. Don’t emotionally vomit just to get the attention of people.’
Which turns into keeping the mask on because I’m afraid to share with my friends… in this case because I have asked for accountability on this front before and… did they fail me? Did I not live up to my end by not sharing at the early point in this struggle? Do I trust them? Or are they tired of hearing about the endless variations and spin I’ve put on it and therefore it doesn’t seem like it is what I asked them to hold me accountable on? Is it easier to ignore it and try to deal with it on my own?
So, I wear the mask because I’m afraid of what people might think of me. I become selective about what I share… appearing vulnerable but never opening up completely. People think I’m taking it off, but not completely.
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Jonnelle
8:48 am
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Ana Eugenia Pacurar
9:24 am
See the mask and see who I “wish’ I were, not who I really am. then maybe I will be more acceptable and loved!
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Lisa
9:38 am
@ Jonelle, Your quote “There is a danger that being vulnerable can turn into a drive for attention and sympathy,” is very true.
There has to be an authenticity to our authenticity. Checking motives is very important to this process.
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Pete Wilson
11:14 am
Great Monday blog to get us all out there thinking of authenticity. I beleive its the hardest part of being a woman. Finding friends sometimes even family members who really know you, I mean really know you for your ugly moments with your spouse or kids, what your current struggles are, what idols are creeping in you, and everything in between. My friend and I had this very conversation on a girls coffee night. She shared her ugly part of herself and put it all out there. Authenticity- a daily area I can continue to work on. I find it easier to share life with complete strangers via blog then some people I really know. Why? Thanks for the blod today.
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Kara Prater
11:34 am
@pete, nail on the head there. If you don’t have someone who really knows you and I mean REALLY knows you then those “confessions” of problems in your life or habitual sins will most likely be the source of unfair judgment by those who hear your confession. Confession is just that, the admission of sin. It cannot be a quest for attention from those around us.
I have a real tendency to be too concerned about what others will think because I believe I have been judged very unfairly in the past when my motives were pure.
The church can be it’s own worst enemy in cases like this. Someone finally buys in all the way, so to speak, to the idea of holiness and confession of sins only to have those around them question their actions and motives. It is very hurtful and crippling to the life of a new follower of Christ.
I hope I didn’t get too of topic but confession and judgement by others too often go hand in hand.
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Harold McKee
11:37 am
The way I look at it is this.
Jesus told us that we are the light of the earth (Matthew 5:14) and let your light shine (Matthew 5:16).
Then if I combine that with James 5:16 then one thought is product:
If I am not completely transparent, how can the fire and light within me shine forth at it’s max brightness.
It is not the fact that I am good all the time because there is no way I can do that. Only God is good.
But all of my sins, transgressions, thoughts and struggles are there for the world to see. For it is then and only then that others around me will truly see the complete holiness, worthiness, purity, power and might of God and how only He could rescue, deliver, restore and completely heal me.
That light is not my light that shines but God’s light that shines. Kinda like how God supplied the light for the lampstand in the Mosaic Tabernacle.
Who am I to try to hide the fact of what God has done in my life?
Luke 11:35-36 35 Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light.”
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Joe Louthan
12:38 pm
So true, its just easier that way. LOL. I think we all have masks and we’re doing everything possible to finally hang them up for good. Thats why so many churches take Jesus out of the equation…Cause its easier without him. Jesus demands alot, and Church leaders rather not deal with it but run ministry without Christ. His light will always reveal the things we try to hide, with all that said, he continues to love us…totally humbling!!!!
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jessesantoyo
1:33 pm
Very nice post. Makes you think.
I always worry that if I am too transparent that I will offend.
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Joseph
1:37 pm
Pete, do you think it is really possible to stop caring what other people think? Do we just continue to wear masks because we assume everyone is wearing a mask…and we can’t ever really know who’s who.?? It’s a critical world! I care less and less, but I still care.
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melissa irwin
1:46 pm
Well Pete, you know what it looks like to be authentic over here. We came forth, we confessed, we got slaughtered. Actually Brad got slaughtered and I was ignored, hated, judged and hung. We know what we did was sin, we know. But my point is after confessing not one person from the church I called home, contacted me and asked what they could do to help. Maybe I didn’t deserve any but to be totally abandoned didn’t feel right either.
Condemnation, finger pointing, anger, no grace, public announcements and 15 family chats(public meetings) to talk more about the situation and details of our sin.
To THIS very day, the elders at the church where the details of our sin was broadcast in a very public way, said that in their heart of all hearts they believe how they handled the situation was 100% right. They wouldn’t change a thing.
I would have to disagree. MANY disagree. Attendance and financial lows and staff layoffs would disagree. The unchurched who looked at this and said “wow, I’m a big fat sinner and if that’s how they treat those who sin inside the ‘family’, I’ll just stay outside” disagree. The cancelling of Saturday night service would disagree. Those first time visitor’s who were at a service hearing the elder announcement of the details of our sin, would disagree. The horror of them thinking when is it going to be their turn to be publicly rebuked? Trust me, I can guarantee that they didn’t come back the next week.
They did NOT handle it right. They missed such an incredible grace giving opportunity to expand the church and bring the unchurched and churched into the bride and show that we are what we preach…loving, forgiving, grace giving, Christ-like. What a shame that the ‘masks’ are required to enter the church doors and required to be loved by our brothers and sisters. Reallll authentic. There should be a sign outside the entrance of churches saying please keep masks on. Danger looms inside if you take them off. There should be a box just inside saying, if you don’t have one borrow ours, we have lots. And if you can’t find one that fits we will customize one or several just for you. This is why Brad is starting “Life Change Community”. There has to be change. There are no walls, no masks, zero expectations of perfection. Literally, come as you are. The masks are heavy and hard to breathe through. The church as it is known today needs major surgery. The tumors are huge and the bride’s health is ailing.
I am angry, saddened, disappointed and know that this is not what Christ would do. My eyes have been shocked open and the lasers are burning my eyes. My faith in God’s people is low. There are those who have been Christ-like and said we don’t approve of what you did, but we are going to love you anyway.(they fill my bucket) There have been those that when the heat increased from others just backed away. And lastly, there have been those who are just plain ugly (I’m talking inside ugly). I’m not sure where the ugly people come from but when I do find out I am going to send them all birth control so they stop breeding.
We can’t rewind the tape and we can’t keep living in the past. We are forgiven, we are living for Christ, and we are looking forward and praying each day for God to guide us.
I will tell you this; there is freedom in having the masks removed and living for God in an authentic way. Will I still sin? Not the same sin, but there will be other sins as I am not perfect. But my walk is with God, my accountability is with Him. I don’t need the world to be my personal sin counter, especially those who don’t know me. I’m all for the mentoring of others IF you have a relationship with them. Otherwise, it’s not your job.
I am clinging on to the branches of God strongly. The river’s current of those hating, judging, pointing, whispering, gossiping and verbally hitting hard is strong. Even 1.5 years later. When will the fight end?
I’m tired…… resting in God…..tired of fighting the battle…..
Pete you see the battle, it’s not pretty. Why is this happening?
Thank you for your support and taking the hits. I pray for your strength. I believe this is what Christ would do if he were on earth today. Smile knowing you have a Christ-like heart. HE applauds you. Keep being authentic others will follow.
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Heidi
1:55 pm
Wow 3 Heidi’s have responded today. I have never seen that before. As a regular on your blog, I have seen so much of vulnerabiy here. Yes, we all wear masks for protection and refuge and class. We want to be “special” and sometimes there are times where specialness is not quite there.
We don’t want to fail…
I struggle with this alot. I actually posted about it today, But over the last 5 years. I try to leave it at the Lord’s feet and when I do, I experience a freedom. It’s a daily thing, I haven’t overcame yet.
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Heidi (san diego ca)
4:13 pm
Wow – this topic and the entire series at CP right now has opened my eyes, heart and mind in ways that I would never have imagined.
The need for my old, trusty masks have really decreased in number with the knowledge and faith that I will be accepted; sin, faults, issues and all by my friends and CP family. I can honestly say that it’s a completely different church experience than I grew up in and it’s SO refreshing and such a blessing to just be ME. No one else…….and for those on the “outside”, let them think what they will.
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loridknerr
4:26 pm
Heidi (the one that commented at 1:55) -
Wow. I applaud you for being so incredibly vulnerable and honest in your words. Some of my closest friends have been in similar situations to yours and it seems like 90% of the time, people are mistreated. It is really, really sad.
I am confident in the little bit I read from your comment that God is doing a huge work in you. You have seen and felt the injustice firsthand, and I would wager are passionately pursuing the opposite in your relationships and with the people whose paths intersect with yours.
I am praying for you tonight.
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anne jackson
4:28 pm
Fear of rejection. Great quote Pete.
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.Mary.
5:26 pm
@Melissa, no I don’t think most of us will ever get to a place where we don’t care what others think. And that’s ok. The few people that I know who can honestly say the don’t care what ANYONE thinks tend to be insensitive, angry, bitter, people that have little if any healthy relationships.
I believe there is a balance. You have to learn who you are going to allow to speak into your life. The truth is there are some great people who speak truth into my life on a consistent basis. I learn a lot from them. Their wisdom keeps me from making some huge mistakes.
I do however, have to learn, not to allow other peoples opinions or thoughts to ever trump what I feel God is calling me to do or be.
Hope this helps Melissa.
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Pete Wilson
7:02 pm
I have learned that the thicker the mask the deeper the pain it is attempting to sheild.
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Kath
8:49 pm
This is such a great discussion, Pete. I’m so proud of your commitment to authenticity, and honored to be a part of a church family where our elders are taking steps to build this kind of life changing, authentic, community where I truly feel safe to be genuine.
I wear masks not to disappoint others. Although I work really hard to prevent the temptation, I’m a “people pleaser.” I think if I make someone unhappy I’ve failed. My closest friends know of my many, many, many weaknesses, but too often, to other people, I build a wall in order to keep most people at a distance resulting in keeping my guard up way too high. I think I have a difficult time trusting others…something I can truly work on improving.
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Eve Annunziato
8:51 pm
when I came
into this world
I was clothed in my own skin
and I know….when it happened
this wounding of my heart
the arrows run so deep…
and I began to clothe my own self
layer on layer
till’ I looked less like me…..
we cover and layer, run and hide…
He polishes and shines, comes and finds
me, the one he loves.
…the arrows are often inflicted upon us by those we love or are loved by. He then is our rescuer, our redeemer….
He peels away the masks one by one….
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therealstorie
8:53 pm
i know that i have some layers. growing up in my house was rough-there are a few layers from that. but as an adult with the passing of my dad and difficult situations within the family the masks are mostly pain and frustration over the pain and wanting it to go away. but i do know that God loves me. i know that He is guiding my life according to the plan that he has set for me. i pray for my kids to never forget that they are a gift from Him. and hat no matter how many masks we wear, he sees right through them.
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carrie-anne
10:02 pm
Yup, fear and unsaid/unmet expectation(s) is why I think we all are mask wearers.
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kristiapplesauce
11:46 pm
Pete, GREAT blog and discussion!
I saw your blog listed as the feature blog on wordpress’s front page for about 2 hours! Praise God! Glad you have some new readers and what a blog to start them out on!!!
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Timothy Kurek
12:58 am
so much so the masks are what we want others to see. acceptance, to be loved, to be wanted, to belong are all things a human heart drastically craves and those masks often look like what we think those who would love us look like.
the worst masks come from trying to fool ourselves, trying to hide what we really are from who we actually are.
there are few things scarier in this world than to be completely open and before all too see. im not…not by a long shot but that doesn’t mean i dont want to be.
hopefully, i get a little closer each day.
keep writing pete. thank you for this.
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adam
2:31 am
a wisdom is a process.. please kindly visit my blog.. but, sorry i write it in indonesian language. could you try to read & understand it and give a comment on it? thanks….
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beranibaca
3:05 am
wow Pete.
wish i lived in Nashville just so i could come be part of your church. it’s refreshing to hear that you don’t have it all figured out, or sometimes you are hurting. thanks
chuck
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chuckazooloo
8:49 am
i need to confess that this post just rocked my world!
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brewster
11:06 am
Our senior pastor says of authentic relationships that the key is to “love for who you are plus who you are not,” referring to being fully known and open to people being aware of the good and bad.
In some ways we’ve become so conditioned to the concept of accountability partners that we’ve removed the onus of confession from ourselves and placed it upon the proverbial “other” person. Yet, James 5:13 seems to put that onus on us – that we need to make confession happen.
I hope Cross Point experiences much success and relational-spiritual health by the current pursuit!
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Mike
6:55 pm
The mask of perfectionism has doomed many a ministry to subpar performance, and killed off who knows how many oppurtunities to lead folks to Christ, or build up one another. Sadly though, there are wolves amongst the sheep, masquerading as the light…. and those folks force the masks to go up such that the sheep have a sense of safety.
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mnphysicist
2:47 pm
Pretense vs Authenticity in Parenting brings a multiplied harvest in ones offspring, as witnessed lately in regards to my daughter’s bf (these are 20 yr old ‘kids’). My daughter’s advice, “Just get real with your parents. They may not like what you share and may be shocked, but they’re there to love you unconditionally. Since I’ve been honest with my parents our relationship is much better. I don’t have to hide anymore. I don’t have to please them.”.. and this is where the rubber meets the road. Because when the bf’s parents DID find out the real deal, they were devastated and DID NOT show unconditional love/acceptance.. did not show the unconditional love of the Father. The great concern for ‘performance religion’ permeates and tests us all and nowhere does it play out more dramatically than in the arena of parenthood.
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Phyliss
4:38 am
Although as a Muslim I don’t believe in the concept of confession and believe that I should conceal the sins of others and my own and rely only on God to forgive and purify me of my faults, I really agree with the tone of this post.
It’s so true that we often obsess in concealing our true nature and feelings from others for fear of rejection and loss of their love. It’s like you said, it’s so much easier to pretend your great than to confront a less than pleasing reality.
I suppose the cure is as simple as realizing that we can’t fool God, He sees each and everything thing we do and will ultimately hold us to account for them. The real challenge is being sincere to God and worshipping Him sincerely and as He wants to be worshipped. Then it’s just a matter of treating other humans with that same transparency and sincerity of purpose. But it starts with God. If we can’t be true to Him, we can be true to no one.
Once again, thanks for the great post!
[Reply]
muslimahbloggerer
5:06 pm
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