Great post Anne! While I can’t speak on this issue from a woman’s perspective I do know that men wrestle with this as well.

The list our culture yells at us is somewhat different but we still have a list!

I’m praying today that we will all focus on the “whisper of God”.

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I think we all agree that society puts unrealistic expectations on women (and men too, Pete ). My personal issue is like yours, why have I worked so hard trying to conform to society, rather than to Christ?

Remaining in him has totally helped me with this issue. It allows me to focus on what God finds value in and how much more of an impact those qualities truly make on society rather than whether or not I wear a certain size.

Thanks for the reminder and for your insight, Anne.

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I have been following the Dove Self Esteem movement for young girls for the past three years. I saw that video about a year ago and it changed my image of what we “say” is beautiful.

I love working with junior high girls because you can catch them at a monumental time and hopefully help them reverse the thoughts of not being good enough and pretty enough that the world bombards them with.

Those insecurities stick with us. I wake up in the morning and all I see is my acne covered face that I wish was different. I don’t feel “good” about myself until I attempt to cover all the spots with make up.

I have to remember the chorus to an old Nicole Nordeman song,
“But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway”

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If all the world would stop. Stop and look at what has been done to our minds, our lives and realize that no one will ever reach the bar of someone’s expectations. I know I have set mine high as a mechanism for you to think you can, but in essence it is because I know you can’t. And that is wrong. I, like many of you, am who I am. I am the same to your face as to your back. I am not anorexic, Victoria Secret material, and have my “act” together. But you know, that’s okay. Because neither do many of you. And that’s okay too. I learned a long time ago, I am me, accept me for me, or….it’s your loss. I was made this way and that;s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Thanks Anne.

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While we are each responsible (both men and women) to take care of the bodies that God gave us, we are also responsible for our emotional and mental health. I’ve always stuck to this quote “No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission.” God made us IN HIS IMAGE! Although we are all different, we are all made by God.

My advice to young women. Stop tuning into the TV programs about celebs and plastic surgery, etc. Stop buying the magazines with the perfect cover model and bad advice articles. These people WANT you to feel bad about yourself so you’ll buy their products, magazines, clothing, etc. Do what works for you (i.e. food, clothing, exercise, beauty products).

Open up your Bible. Invest in yourself.

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Anne, as Pete’s “Designated Old Dude” on staff at Cross Point, I can say at 63, none of those adjectives, male or female, fit me. But the older gang have a few we treasure: minimally wrinkled, hair-retentive, hearing-enabled, “regular,” able to navigate Wal-Mart, and teachable. Maybe the list changes with the decades. Somehow you can easily long for “brisk walker,” straight teeth, non pot-bellied or just “keeping up.” I’d love for “seasoned”, humorous and God-directed to grow more.

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GREAT post, Anne – so sad and yet so true. I am 100% guilty of falling into the “beauty trap” that society lays out for us women. It is a struggle, daily and I thank GOD that I have HIM in my life to help me through this. I don’t care who you are, you can not do it without Him.

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This is a great topic, and one that I royal mess up on a daily basis. God creates all of us as these beautiful works of art, and sends us here and we royally mess it up. We become full of sin and that is our only ugliness. But instead of acknowledging the ways in which we have messed up his work. We shake are fists at him and say ” If only I were prettier, skinnier, bustier, more bootiliscious (sp?) ” It would be like looking at one of Van Goghs paintings that had been smudged with dirt and critizing the painting itself and not the dirt that was smudged all over it. Well at least I am one to constantly ignore the dirt or sin and critize the masterpiece.

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Anne, as some have mentioned guys struggle with this as well. It comes in a lot of forms. I used to get the c-r-a-p beat out of me in school on a regular basis because I would skip recess and our music teacher would give me piano lessons instead. (I hear all you jocks out there laughing under your breath)

Those kinds of things are hard and they want to stick with you your entire life. It has been my experience that most of these self image issues tend to be formed in childhood. Some by media, some by family and some by “friends”. When I read “Wild at Heart” it rocked my world so much that I had to call a Christian counselor friend of mine for a few sessions. I wondered if I was really who I was or was I who those around me had made me. Was my personality a defense mechanism or part of God’s design? I truly hate to sound “old” but I think in most cases we would all be better off if we through our tv’s out the window. I know there are great things on tv because I watch almost everyone of them but is it worth all the other things we expose ourselves and our children to. (tough quesion)

btw congrats on your new gig with Pogo Pete!

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The second list is really what my heart longs for so why do I get so caught up with the first list? Thanks for the reminder, Anne.

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Thanks, Anne. It is so easy to forget, whether female or male, as believers, if we embody that second set of qualities, in God’s eyes we are champions.

Btw, Pete got his man card back the last time he lost it. I just can’t remember how.

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This is so sad but so true. Sometimes I don’t think I even realize how the first list holds me back from the second…who I really want to be…
Thanks Anne for reminding me…

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I lose this battle every day, being much more focused on the first list than the second and putting so much effort and thought toward how I can improve on those things in the first list. It’s exhausting, and ultimately it yields just more yearning and striving. It’s so good to be reminded to look at myself the way God does.

It does make me think about how instead of always saying, “You look cute today!” to my girlfriends, I could be a lot more intentional about affirming the qualities that they have that are so beautifully like Christ.

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I love this video. I posted it on my blog a few weeks ago. I started fighting this battle about 4 months ago when I decided I would no longer wear make-up if I didn’t feel like it. At first, I felt so vulnerable and ugly and plain and matronly. Now I don’t wear make-up more often than I do. I have gorgeous blue eyes that get more attention, believe it or not, without all that crap on my eyelids and lashes. I still like make-up when I’m in the mood to paint my face. But it has been so liberating (and it frees up about 10 min of my getting ready time)! I struggle in other areas too. I think God wants us to be healthy and to try to be that way… eating right, exercising regularly, etc. But I don’t think He wants us to be healthy so we can look good. I think He wants us to be healthy so we have the energy to do His work.

Heidi Reed

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Reminds me of the movie, Shallow Hal, where people were as beautiful as their personality…and man, if that were the case, people would be a WHOLE lot nicer!!!!! Unfortunately, people don’t even give you the time of day should you not have their ideal look. I was snubbed at an interview, and I know that was because of my weight, sadly. It just makes no sense how people can be so judgmental. They, themselves, are not pictures of perfection, either! I’d like them to walk a day in my shoes and understand how it is to be an outcast.

Christina

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Wow, as I am raising 3 girls, I see that their self worth starts soo early. I am already seeing that in my 6 year old. My husband and I have always said that we want them to be confident in who they are and what they are, and that they are God’s princesses. I read a great book that so helped me in many areas, “The Search for Significance.” It was life changing.
Thanks for sharing this.

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Not sure what to say. After nearly 40 years I’m finally dealing with some of this stuff. (I actually liked myself as a kid and I wonder where that person is hiding). I’m doing the Raggamuffin Top Challenge. Anyway, bottomline for me–we want to point our finger at the TV, advertising, etc. and truthfully we feed the dog so really it’s our responsibility to feed other things. Jason, I suppose it’s okay to tell your daughter she’s beautiful but if she hears that too much she will start thinking physical beauty is important to you and at some point she will look in the mirror and not like what she sees. Tell her she’s smart, or funny, or creative, or a good listener, or great with people, or…whatever her other attributes are that you also appreciate.

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We do become a product of our earthly brothers and sisters over time. Small influences, tiny whispers, negative comments. Some can even come disguised from those who appear to us as Christ followers. I’ve heard them. They take from my bucket, they are punative, they are not grace givers, they judge. It’s interesting but I can see me in the many faces of the video, transforming not to what these people call me but to what my Father calls me…. BEAUTIFUL, SPECTACULAR, ANGEL OF MINE. Thank you God for loving me for me.

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