A Lump In My Throat
I first met Brad Johnson when I was in college. He was one of the most gifted communicators and leaders I had ever seen in action. He was also an incredible Godly man. Brad was already being nationally recognized for his abilities, but graciously took the time out of his schedule to meet with me on occasion. I always left those meetings encouraged and bit in awe of what God was doing in this man’s life.
Brad would go on to leave the church where I originally met him to serve in some of the largest churches in America.
I can’t explain the shock I felt one year ago when I heard that Brad was stepping down from his church because he had an affair. This week I read the following letter on his blog. My heart still aches for him and so many other pastors I know who are no longer in ministry due to similar situations
Monday, May 12, 2008
OPEN LETTER TO CALVARY COMMUNITY CHURCHOpen Letter to the Elders and to Calvary Community Church–
One year ago today, I spoke for the last time at Calvary. For the first time since I was 17, I have gone a year and have not spoken in a church, not served in a church, not volunteered in a church, and have not been asked to…just months ago, I began attending a church again (sit in the back, head down, anonymous.)It seems like the one year mark would be a good time and place to write this letter. I am so sorry for the pain and emotional upheaval my life and actions have caused you and the precious bride of Christ.
I’m sorry for the deceptions, the irresponsibility, and the sin of adultery that came from my life and infected others. I assume full responsibility for my actions with no excuses and no rationalizations.
As painful as this letter is for me to read, I have read it no less than ten times today. It seems Brad might have taught me more through his failure than he ever did through his success.
I’m thinking today that sin is a powerful thing. I’m thinking it could happen to ANYONE. I’m thinking sin brings immense pain into one’s life. I’m thinking of how sin can rob one of their family and their legacy. I’m thinking sin won’t send a Christian to hell, but it will bring hell to your life here on earth.
I’m thinking there are second chances. I’m thinking of the prodigal son. I’m thinking about the woman at the well. I’m thinking of the cross. I’m thinking God is a God of grace and mercy. I’m thinking of the depths of His love.
What are you thinking?
Pete
You’re right, Pete. For the Christian, when we willfully sin against God, the judgement is not in the by and by, it’s in the here and now. I know, I’ve been there enough times.
If we’ve truly trusted Christ, Satan can’t have our soul but he can sure wreck our lives, and sadly, our effectiveness for the Lord.
The good news is, He is always waiting to clean us up and restore us.
Where is redemption, forgiveness? Too often we as Christian shoot our wounded and throw them in the trash as if God can use them anymore. I don’t think God has the same attitude that we have toward fallen people, see woman and the well, David, prodigal son…….
We have to learn how to forgive. Our preachers and teachers aren’t perfect, but alot of times, we treat them like they are, so when they fall, we don’t know how to cope with that. We’re all just people. We all have temptations. I pray that Brad Johnson knows that God has already forgiven him and is in the process of setting his life back on course. We’ve all been there.
I don’t believe different sin has different value. Adultery is the same as white lies or gossip.
With all the grace God has given me in my life how can I not extend it to all I know ? I agree with you Brian that God had a attitude which is always full of love and forgiveness, not mean and judgmental as we humans can be
I think that so often, when we are taken aback by anothers sin, we find ourselves thinking we have put them on a pedastel. But, in reality, I believe that authentice friendship means a heart of empathy. We grieve for them in our very soul, not because we are shocked, but because we are made aware of our own humaness.
Apparently then, if it’s just about love and forgiveness, then are any or all of us qualified to pastor, lead, preach and teach? We all can sin and be forgiven… which I believe is God being merciful and showering us with grace, but, at what point does it not require a pastor to accept the higher calling on their life and the accountability that comes with it? Although they are not perfect, they must know what it means to be a pastor. They are trained, taught and schooled in seminary…so based on this man’s letter, he definitely saw the writing on the wall and did not heed it. Does an open letter of repentance and a request for forgiveness change what he’s done? Does he now have the moral authority to once again return to ministry? There just seems to be an assumption that we know what God is thinking and it pertains to all of us equally, regardless of our actions and behavior. I find it hard to believe that God views my actions and behavior the same as someone who He’s called to ministry and to speak on God’s behalf. Perhaps I’m wrong. I do know that to err is human, to forgive is divine. And, I hope this man continues to rebuild what he has torn down and reaches a point of full reconciliation, with everyone, including God.
I agree with all of you guys. But, it easy to get God’s forgiveness, which is complete; pardoning our sins past, present and future, confused with nullifying the consequences of sin. We still have to live with those. That’s why, as Brian said, it is important not to shoot the wounded, but to do all we can to love them and help them.
I’ve sure appreciated that love and support in my life, from so many.
I did a Beth Moore bible study a few years ago called “When Godly People Do Ungodly Things”…and it was all about the power that Satan has, and how he will attack those who love Christ because if he can crush our testimony and have others believe we are phony…he will work so hard to do so. It really gave me a new perspective on those in ministry, and their spouses. Pastors have such a large audience and much infuence. It is why I pray for you and the Crosspoint staff all the time. Stories like this break my heart….
This makes me weep. Literally. There are few things that do, but this is one.
Two of my best friends, who served on staff with me several years ago, got caught up in emotions and had a one night stand. I love them both, but I hate what the church did to them after they confessed.
Two years later, it was made public that two more staff members of the same church had been in a long term, multi-year affair. THe senior pastor was one of the people. He was like a second father to me.
And somewhere in between, two volunteers that served close to me admitted an affair.
And a little over a year ago, another one of my best friends confessed his emotional affair.
What followed all of these was not grace, not love, from the church they had invested so much time in.
I have held my friends. I have listened to a pain and agony I can’t even begin to describe in words as their brokenness spills out.
Trust me. These people feel the weight of their actions, more deeply than we will ever know.
And as so many of them have said, they now see grace for what it really is…it’s life.
My heart goes out to you and your friend. Not just with sympathy and love, but with the joy of redemption that is here, and still is to come.
And on one last note, I realize I can cheat on my husband any time. I am not at any different level that would make me immune from that. I have made stupid decisions in my life, fully knowing the difference from right and wrong. Fully having accountable relationships in place and telling them only what I wanted to hear.
Deception is powerful.
So very powerful.
I’m thinking how sometimes I take doing what I do for granted…I can’t imagine life without it and I never want to have to. Thanks for the reminder that what we do is a privilege and not a right!
On balance, I hear often that sin is sin, and I can’t say I would debate that, but there is often a vast difference in the consequences and repercussions of sin. There is sin that is personal and private that many of us walk around with in our lives everyday, but it does not bleed out into the lives of others. Then…there is sin that becomes public that does the complete opposite of that and it’s effect causes hurt and pain in other people’s lives. And, to compound that, when it is sin initiated from some one in a ministry position that so profoundly shocks the body of Christ…I have to wonder how it can be reacted to without the very human emotions that cause churches to treat the situation as caustic or toxic? To separate the position and the person in ministry is very difficult. God loves us all and we should not treat anyone with indifference, but love them or hate them… people who are aversely and publicly affected by the sin of another… surely they have some level of justification to want to disassociate themselves, for a season, from those who have brought sins of adultery and lust into their midst. I don’t believe you ex-communicate or feed any of us sinners to the lions, but asking anyone to not react in the very same human way to those situations, is asking quite a lot. That seems to be the time(s) when we need Jesus to intercede in a way that we cannot.
That is so sad. Everyone, but especially those of us in ministry, need to constantly be on guard for these kind of attacks.
A real eye-opener came a couple of years ago at Catalyst when John Maxwell shared his story. He said that he always used to thing “That could never happen to me” because he took all kinds of precautions. A mentor counseled him to think the opposite. Not only COULD it happen to you but you need to act as if it WILL. Live in the constant awareness of those temptations. That message spoke pretty powerfully to me.
Unfortunately every time I read another story like this it hits home even more.
Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com
I can’t help but picture David. He was humble and repentant. It is refreshing to hear these words coming from a man who knows he has messed up. It is true that the same thing could happen to any of us. My heart hurts for this guy and yet I can’t help but notice hope and grace, not in this mans past because I do not know him, but in the past I have seen with God. A humble and contrite spirit. Reality is painfully sober.
Josh King
I’m thinking about the fact that appearances can be so deceiving. We tend to assume so much about people from a very limited view. God really hit me over the head with that when you had people raise their hands if they were going through a Plan B situation a few weeks ago. I wasn’t alone! Christians seem to be especially adept at making everything look good on the outside. Like Anne said, even in what should be deep, trusting relationships – “Fully having accountable relationships in place and telling them only what I wanted to hear.”
I am glad for your friend – glad that God is still working on him and in him, glad that he was able to write the letter, glad that he is starting to make his way back to church…and I am overwhelmed by God – that He knows every part of us, even those we try to keep hidden, and He continues to love us, forgive us, encourage us, make us squirm, hold us up and always show us grace.
i’m thinking that agreeing with god is more than saying i’m sorry and true repentance brings about a god-placed sorrow…
I’m thinking that God is an awesome, forgiving God who can redeem even the darkest part of our souls. I’m thinking that I am glad this Pastor who stumbled, did not turn his back on the God who loves him.
“I’m thinking sin won’t send a Christian to hell, but it will bring hell to your life here on earth.” – Great thought.
I am thinking that this story and others like it humble me, because Brad was being used immensely by God in ways I could only imagine or dream of based on your story, and yet he still fell. It reminds me that I am not untouchable, but very vulnerable, and that though it is a tough battle, I must daily choose correctly. The moment I give in to my desires over God’s is the moment I choose death over life and it could potentially be the moment I ruin my life and the life of my family.
Yeah…being from Anne’s said church where friends and co-workers were in the mix…I am thinking that this hits home for so many of us. I don’t know what to think other then back to me and my life. When I first heard of “our” sad situation (both accounts) I was so broken and sad, but mostly I was so hyper aware of my own sin and indiscretions. No, I haven’t committed an emotional or a physical affair, but I have been in sin and at those moments I became so intense of my need to find my barrings of where the Cross was in my life. It was a huge awakening for me to find level ground and to pray for those people. To pray for leadership and for those men and women in ministry around me. To pray for my husband and for those in the broken places. Mostly though…it just made me understand how in need of our Savior we all are every second of everyday. We are all so the same.
“I’m thinking sin won’t send a Christian to hell, but it will bring hell to your life here on earth.”
This is powerful and it just changed me! I’m just thinking “wow” right now.
My heart breaks for this man. I read his blog and could feel the pain he has every day…probably most of the day. I’m so glad he is in counseling and taking all the right steps. I hate that the church is so condemning. I know we all mess up…I say drop your rocks and stones. Jesus worked out this scenario best…line in the sand. That women by him was similar to this pastor. They wanted to stone her and leave her for dead…he drew the line and they dropped the stones seeing their own sin. Sadly, today many don’t drop the rocks…they beat up and bruise the person. I think we’d all be such a better example of Christ’s love if we would forgive, learn from each others mistakes and love.
I’m not an expert on the subject but, I had a parent in ministry…he had multiple affairs. Is he sorry…not really. I’ve been hurt though…seen how it affected him and those around him. I sure have learned alot though.
I’m glad forgiveness is mine when I ask. We are all so flawed.
I’m thinking reality. The reality of this life and a mans legacy in this life is nothing.
I’m thinking I would rather meet this man at this point in his life. I’m thinking, after I read his pages from the book of life, I’ll want to talk to him even more.
I’m thinking about all the men in the bible that did the same thing.
I’m thinking…
I’m glad Brad chose to live.
It is lonely and heavy to be where he has been.
Satan will have us believe that everyone knows and no one likes you.
He will have you believe that you can never have forgiveness.
The enemy will make you think when you fail that you are the only one and now you are worthless.
When you sin, seclusion is your worst enemy. You need your friends, your strength.
I’m thinking…God’s forgiveness covers the sin, the sin doesn’t have to cover you.
Thank goodness for God’s mercy and grace…we all make mistakes and I think sometimes people forget that ALL sin is equal. Granted some will have much worse consequences…I am just grateful that He loves us unconditionally through those mistakes.
So I’m thinking of how thankful I am…I’m also thinking of how awful the church can be when you mess up big. How instead of loving people through their mistakes the church has a tendency to condemn. That is not what Jesus did so why is the church??
Thanks goodness for real churches that do NOT do that- that realize what Jesus did do and follow Him.
I’m thinking how sad, and yet there is a great opportunity for the church to model grace and redemption. I’m thinking what goes through a person’s mind that they are willing to throw everything (relationships, family, ministry) away for a brief moment of pleasure. I’m thinking I’m really tired of hearing stories of husband’s and Dad’s giving up on their wife and kids. I’m thinking I need to guard my marriage even more then I already do.
I’m blown away right now. Reading through these comments is becoming very emotional for me. I’m feeling God’s grace and love extended through this community right now.
It’s always good to be reminded that no one (including myself) is “above” any type of sin or temptation. There’s so much to be said for wide margins and firm boundaries–many of which other people do not understand–but that’s ok if it helps us be obedient to our Creator.
This also reminds me of a conversation I had with someone about a pastor’s character, and her church’s requirement that he be “blameless.” I’ll bet that sort of expectation makes it very difficult to admit that you’re struggling with any sin. We need open and honest environments where people are real about their sin and how hard it can be to resist temptation. There’s such freedom in that.
Someone mentioned the biblical David (King) and I pause to remind everyone that there was a line drawn between the Old and New Testament, that line being Jesus Christ. And rlh27 says he’s thought about all the men in the Bible that did the same thing? How many were there? Somehow I find this thread to be about the here and now (with us living under the New Testament application of sin (adultery or whatever) and how Jesus is the big difference maker between how this particular sin is perceived and addressed biblically. It seems that before Christ, any one even remotely associated with the Holy of Holies could expect serious repercussions for any indiscretion like this. With the advent of Jesus there was a full pardon for our sins, but I still believe it’s not just a matter of our sins but the painful ripples that permeate into other people’s lives that requires contemplation when determining how to best handle a senior pastor’s fall, the fall out and then the path forward. I’m thinking I’m reading some pretty skewered theology in some of these posts, Pete. What does the Bible say about this particular situation? Does it only go “love and forgiveness” deep? Isn’t there more to this story? Can this man and his sins be compared to David (King) and his sins? I get the feeling that the spiritual parallel is not so parallel. Enlighten us, if you would. Please.
I’m with rth27. Brad was awesome before and I could have sat and listened to him for hours. Now, I think I would like to sit down and listen to him for a few days.
A buddy of mine went through this here in Colorado and it wasn’t fun. I called him and asked him to teach me how I might never, ever experience what he was experiencing. That cup of coffee with him that day was one of my most memorable gifts.
Thanks for sharing this Pete.
Forgiveness is forgiveness…Period. There is no provision anywhere under grace to withhold forgiveness toward a brother or sister in Christ. However, there are a list of characteristics (many mistakenly call qualifications) listed in 1 Timothy 3. Paul exlained these characteristics to Timothy as he began his ministry and also began to appoint Elders and deacons in the church. Paul gave this list for the health of the elder and for the health of the church.
What I gather from this list of characteristics is that an Elder or Pastor must give due diligence to keep himself pure and blameless while he holds the position of bishop. He must be someone who can teach, possesses wisdom, he must be a people person, not drik too much or like to fight and several other things that speak of his good character. But it’s also interesting to not that this list start with the fact that “an elder must not give people a reason to criticise him” and it ends in verse 7 saying, “an elder must also have the respect of people who are not in the church so he will not be criticised by others”.
So it is obvious, that if a pastor is caught in the sinful throws of adultery OR ANYTHING ELSE THAT WOULD CAUSE HIM TO LOSE THE RESPECT OF THE COMMUNITY he is not in a position to be the active elder of that particular church.
But does that disqualify him from being a pastor or a minister ever again?
1) Possibly, at least for sometime, in that community. The ability to pastor rests on the ability to have the respect of both the church and the un-churched community.
2) There no indication , in this particular instruction from Paul, that there is one particular sin that would keep you from being a bishop again. If the people can forgive, respect and follow the bishop, he can pastor. God’s forgiveness is all inclusive. Although a Bishop is held to a greater degree of accountability, he is not condemned to an unloving hell because he made a mistake.
Peter denied Jesus from the shadows of sin. Jesus corrected, chastised and instructed Peter and after a period of time Peter became a champion for Christ. He was not disqualified for life because of his mistake.
Stay in love,
Bryan
Hey Judas. I’m thinking you’re thinking too much. You can’t try to sum up someone’s theology based on a 3 sentence comment they have left here to this particular post.
Nor was this post meant to summarize the Bible’s theology on sin, forgiveness, and repentance. It was simply posted to remind us all of the pain and hurt that goes along with sin.
As far as comparing Brad’s (my friend) sin to David’s (Biblical King) sin. I’m not sure why we couldn’t? I do want to make it clear though that Brad did not kill anyone during this process as King David did.
The difference between sin in the O.T. and the N.T. had to do with the way in which forgiveness was sought (sacrificial system vs. substitutionary death) not with the consequences of the sin.
Perfect response, Pete. I understand the theology summation not being possible in 3 sentences, although I was questioning it for scope not absolution. And, you make it clear that murder is another sin that God forgave King David for, which for a lot of folks, will always be a point hard to reconcile. Especially, if the one killed was a family member. That’s probably why some folks are okay with the death penalty. I do have to suggest that there were possibly relationships “killed” in the fallout surrounding Brad but I suppose that’s not quite the same. Clearly, we all have access to the same grace and mercy and love from God. I guess the challenge is in how the pain and hurt from a particular sin can or should be handled by us mere humans. I’ll also try and limit my thinking to less thought, as best I can. Thanks for the smiley!
I’m thinking when someone, who has been exposed in their sin, comes out and says, “I’m so sorry”, it has so much effect on us. That’s when it all starts over. We accept apology so readily because we’ve all been there and we wanted others to understand and forgive and to support, and to love us when we fell, and they did. When someone continues to deny the charges or even ‘apologize with explanation’, we just can’t quite find that place quite as easily as supporters. We can forgive but there’s a part of us that holds back. When the the repentence is unrestrained, it’s so much easier for us to be unrestrained in our support.
With regard to the above exchange, I have a question. Does punishment imply non-forgiveness? Can’t we forgive someone AND still fulfill whatever the social law calls for as repurcussion for such actions? Or does forgiveness mean we pretend it never happened and drop all charges? With our souls I assume it’s the latter, although there will be an ‘accounting’ for our sin- not sure what that means or now nasty it will be. My question is can we completely forgive someone and still have them pay their debt to society for what they’ve done? Not being confrontational here…I just don’t know.
I’m wondering how someone like Brad can seem so familiar? I’ve never met him or heard of him until today; reading your post. I went to his blog, and after reading through bits and pieces of his story I felt like I’ve known this guy forever. Weird? I guess its because he was a pastor, and I’m a pastor, I don’t know, but man his story has shaken me to the core. Its scary to realize how easily we can make bad choices, and how bad choices lead to sins that can change our lives forever. I can’t imagine standing in an empty house remembering the laughter of my girls and my wife, and knowing that life will never be the same again. Its scary, and yet it causes me to want to protect what I have with regard to my relationship with God, my wife, & my family. I never want to experience that kind of loss. I have to agree with you Pete, that I’ve learned more in this guys failure, than I may have ever learned from his success. Thanks for sharing man.
Bill, you make my brain hurt! Awesome question. What comes to mind for me is from a parents perspective. God the Father, being the ultimate parent, has implemented disciplines and consequences all by Himself. I trust those to be perfect in Him, however an uncomfortable insecurity rise up within when I realize they’ve been placed in the hands of fallible men and women. We all desire justice, but what does true righteous justice look like. If I’m to error…I want to error on the side of grace. I truly believe I’d rather get my hand smacked for over loving rather than over judging. If there are scholars who can honestly say they have ALL of the answers regarding this matter…well, let’s just say…beware!
Pete I am coming back over from Twitter to answer the question, “Should pastors who screw up get second chances?” – I would say yes, because #1 we represent Christ and Christ has forgiven these pastors. However, I believe it is important for those pastors to not be immediately put back in those leadership positions, rather it should be a slow process. I believe trust has to be re-earned as well as other factors, but yes I believe they should be restored, helped, and forgiven.
Haven’t read through all the posts here, which means this may have already been stated . . . but my first response to this subject is a call to prayer. Years ago I began noticing how often those in Christian leadership roles – especially pastors and ministers, worship leaders, etc. – were falling to this particular sin. It’s as if they all have a big red target painted on them. Why? Because the enemy loves nothing better than to bring down one who is called of God to serve. To make a public spectacle of one of God’s chosen. That is why I’ve always kept a special page in my prayer journal for all of the staff members of our church, listing each by name and with their spouse’s name, praying over them every day – for protection in general, but especially to stay strong in their walk with Christ and in their marriages. A little extra prayer coverage to buffer that aforementioned big red target.
I was taken aback by reading through the comments on his post. Particularly the lady who had been wondering where he was for all this time. She said no one knew and he never finished Romans.
Wow.
I wonder how the Church, leadership, handled this…
The worship leader at my previous church was let go because of a handful of what were called moral failures… it broke my heart, because he and I had become good friends in a short amount of time. It seems that the ripples just went on and on endlessly; his marriage nearly failed (thank God, they were able to work things out), good friends who claimed to be Christ-followers bailed on him left and right… It was difficult to walk that mile with him, but I’m so glad that I did. His friendship is priceless to me. He has many of these same questions: can God ever use him again?
I believe that God is the restorer… and that we can all be restored… and like you said, Pete, we can all be taught through each other’s pains.
I am thinking that I,too, have been wrecked by this thought:
“I’m thinking sin won’t send a Christian to hell, but it will bring hell to your life here on earth.”
Very true. Continuing that thought then, maybe responding with forgiveness and grace brings a little “peace” of Heaven to Earth.
i am thinking about him.
i am thinking about me.
im thinking about all the things people know and all the things people do not know about me.
i am thinking about grace.
i am thinking about judgement, and how we react is worse than the sin a lot of times.
i am thinking about redemption.
i am thinking about how “he” feels.
i am thinking about how scares become badges and actually qualify us.
i am thinking about how important it is to support and be there.
i am thinking how we are still the same people, just uncovered.
i am thinking the future is brighter than the past.
i am thinking i can not wait for the rest of your friends story to be written.
i am thinking i can not wait for the rest of all of our stories to be written.
This is not an easy one. The church I grew up in – a mega church in the 80′s – was crushed by this same scenario. Our church leaders are as human as everyone else. Who are we to judge their sins when we have our own? I guess the question is, do they go through the process of repentance and healing…if so, then if God calls them to lead and serve again, we should allow ourselves to learn from their lives and experiences.
I am thinking about thinking. If this man has truely asked for forgiveness and God has forgiven this man of his sin, then why are we talking about it. God is not talking about it, he’s forgotten about it. So should we.
I am thinking of Brad’s wife. Her loss.. not only her soulmate, her church, and but also her pastor.
God is THE Healer ……..
thanks for sharing this pete.
guard your heart.
help me to guard mine.
I don’t really understand adultry. People do it because they think it’s going to be a little bit of fun, and they never get caught. Then they get caught.
I know if I had adultry, I’d think about it constantly and the pain it would cause my spouse.
I’m not a particularly good person at all. I am just terrible about lying. But also from a reward situation the little bit of fun would be matched with eternal pain.
I just wonder why people in religious groups don’t feel the same way as I do. This stuff keeps coming up over and over again in religious groups of all types.
Is it because there is a higher standard so it matters more? Non-religious people commit adultry, too, but it’s not as a big deal in their community. They just have a broken marriage and a suffering parter. I know in religious communities it could me even more punishment.
Another thought is that it could be _because_ of the commitment that there is a bigger problem. It’s like saying, don’t think of an elephant. You’ll think of it.
I wonder if there are ideas of using modern psychology or older meditation techniques to strengthen one’s resolve so that adultry does not happen. If you don’t first think of adultry, you can not do it.
Anyway, sorry about the pain.
Yesterday evening, I skimmed through all Brad Johnson’s blog. One of the recurring themes was that the Christian members of his congregation did not act towards him in a Christian way after he left the church. The friends he had while he was a pastor did not want to be around him after the affair was made public. There were times when people found out he was attending a function and they decided not to attend because he would be there. He actually writes more about this than the problems he caused his wife, daughters, and the church by his actions.
Would Brad have the same feelings if he was a financial manager at a small business and had been caught embezzling money from his employer? Would he be complaining that the owner of the company, who was such a good friend of his before the theft was uncovered, had turned his back on him?
The reaction he has from his friends is a consequence for his actions (this answers Bill Renfrew’s question). There is no excuse for those who had been friends who had threatened to picket any church he taught at or showed hostility to him, but it is understandable why they may not want to associate with him after the affair was made public. You can forgive someone without wanting to be around them.
Brad did betray his wife, family, and congregation. Any time a church leader is caught in a situation like this, it reflects negatively on Christianity and it gives those outside of the church a reason to say “I told you so”. The same thing happens when someone with a “God is My Copilot” bumper sticker lays on the horn and flips off another motorist who gets in his way. .
The other thing to me was that the affair occurred over a year period. It takes more effort to cover up something like this than if it had been a short-term indiscretion.
the church i grew up in had a series of staff that were involved in affairs in “inappropriate behavior” with teen girls at the church. one of those staff was my father, when i was at a very young age. i don’t remember how the church handled his situation, other than to know that he was removed as pastor.
this behavior became a pattern for my dad…and i wonder, had the church sought restoration and healing in his life and in my parents’ marriage…how would his life have looked? would i have been able to grow up knowing my father in a whole different way? would this have been an example to the staff members to come?
NO ONE, is beyond this happening in their life! if you are reading this…please make your relationship with Christ of utmost importance. please make your marriage and friendship with your spouse of utmost importance. please find an accountability partner and be authentic.
Pete–first of all, thanks for the love and friendship you have expressed in your tender, honest comments. And to those on both sides of the ‘feelings’ spectrum…I understand. I’ve been on both sides, equally disdaining myself, and seeking a way to forgive.
To Judas and Bill…the consequences of sin are as sure as God’s nature. The tsunami comes and there is no escape. I cannot stop it. I cannot contain it. I cannot limit it.
The issue I’ve pondered is the contribution unkind people make to this. Is this their right? Is their responsiblity? Does God need them to weigh in on this, or add hostility?
I have concluded: No
The consequences that have a unique spiritual dimension are phenomenal. Suffocating. Staggering. No help needed.
So, the role of Samaritan, care-giver, back-rubber, bandage-provider becomes supreme. Without such men and women, those of us bleeding out from self-inflicted sin, would in fact, bleed out.
A couple of points are helpful for insight: I wasn’t caught. I wasn’t fired. The weight of my sin tore at me, I spiraled into depression and couldn’t recover. I confessed to my wife and to my two beautiful daughters (hardest moments of my life). Then, I resigned from the church. It was nearly a month later that I voluntarily met with Elders to address community rumors that were just then surfacing.
for Scot Justice–I appluad your care for my ex-wife and my kids. I would give my life if I could un-rip their hearts. However, I have and continue to have so many conversations with them about the harm I have done them…but for them, I keep that aspect of the conversation out of the blog.
Regarding friends and others being allowed to react with anger, hatred, (fill in an adverb)…here is the most recent part of me that God is forming…How in the world can I hope for grace unless I can give grace to sinners? How in the world can God form a grace-giving heart in me without continuously keeping grace-needy people in proximity to me?
I am in their life so that God can form good stuff in them. They are in my life so He can form good stuff in me. And so it goes…
Regarding future ministry…uh, no. Can’t see it. Not qualified. It’s gonna be a back row, head down, annonymous in church thing for a bit. God can drag me in the game. He did it 30 years ago, so I’m confident He knows how…but….uh, no.
The blog-world is my vomit bucket or pulpit, depending on the day, because I have come to know I must put thoughts to words and express the words…that has been such a part of my life.
Anyway, you are sweet people if you read this far. Thanks. And Pete….you rock. Thank you, brother
Brad Johnson
Hi Brad:
I have been a member of Calvary when Larry Dewitt was pastor.
I moved to Palm Desert three years ago and wanted to moved back to this community to attend church. I remember this first Sunday when I attended and realized you were no longer there. A lady in front of me could hardly wait to tell me the story….I pointed down to the people and said you don’t think that everyone below has done
something in their life????
As I grow older I have realized that people judge no matter what. This is God’s job..
It was so hard for me to forgive my x husband
but, now I have realized I will forgive but I will not forget..My growing up with a father that was a pedifile and beat me everyday, this person I have also had to forgive in order to see my Lord.
The time is near for our Lord to return. He is warning us; people should be worried about their relationship with the Lord and the Rapture. The book of Revelations is now here and taking place right before our eyes.Our country is in total moral decay and iit is very near. Refrain from juding others
Corinthians 4:5 Brad the bottom line is you only have to answer to him…
I did leave you a message and ask that you call me. If you need help in getting your church and services started, please contact
me==Again, welcome home
I’m thinking if there were no 2nd (3rd, 4th, 5th…100th) chances we would all burn in hell.
God is love. He commands us to love. Therefore, go and love.
Heidi Reed
Brad,
After I submitted my post I said to myself, “he who is without sin cast the first stone” Thank you for your response that you chose to keep your feelings about your family outside of the blog. I do respect that. As a blogger, I understand that there are something’s that you keep private.
I start my work day with prayer and I have a list of people on a 3×5 note card that I pray for every morning written. I just added you to my list.
Take care, Scot
Grace is such a great thing we can access as Believers. I’ve used a lot of it in my life and am so thankful for Jesus and incredible people who have extended unconditional love and grace to me. This is a great post… very thought provoking and a good reminder to all of us that anyone can fall, but they can also get back up if & when they choose to. I heard a smart man once say that if you imagine yourself in a race… if you would fall down, it wouldn’t magically transport you back to the starting line. When you get up and continue to run, the ground you had gained is not all lost. No matter what the finish line is ahead and since you’re not taken to the starting line, you’re somewhere in the journey, the process. Thanks for this post Pete.
If not for God’s grace … thank you for your transparency. I’m thinking that Jesus came to seek and saved that which was lost wether a pastor, church member or someone who has never darkened the door of a church. Jesus also highlighted the fact that those who have been forgiven of much, love much!
I hurt for Brad, his family, friends and all those who have suffered due to this sin. I hurt just as much for those older brothers who cannot bring themselves to rejoice when the younger (prodigal) brother returns home.
If not for the grace of God, there go any and all of us, especially me!
i’m thinking he had a lot of strength and humility to write that letter… and that God is the God not of second chances but of all-the-chances-i-need.
I seem to recall that Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker and a half-dozen more high-profile ministry folks have been down this road, Brad. Some of them have made it back to ministry, some have not. I don’t believe any of us are un-reclaimable or unsalvageable, I just know that it seems important that we accept what comes with sin and trust God to bring us through those dark valleys. It is clear that you have faced the fire and you are being tempered. Perhaps you will/could become a voice for those that need to hear the truth about grace, mercy and love based on you finding it in the midst of your life. I don’t know that everyone (human) can be Jesus in the fullest, truest sense when they encounter others that are hurting and have experienced what you’ve experienced. I believe that is what all of us should aspire to… but we’ll probably never know that which only Jesus can know… which is how to be perfect in everything… especially perfect in loving each other. There are no people who can truly judge or throw stones at or give absolution to sinners, because no one is without sin. But our sin was all covered by the Blood when Christ was sacrificed for our sin(s). It’s in the working out of our salvation (all of us) that we gain or lose ground… and often the ground we lose is when we face the scary potential of the same things we see happen to other people… happening to us. It goes without saying…what we all should do for each other as brethren when we are broken. But, there seems to be no way to minimize the collateral damage that comes with public awareness of pastoral malfeasance. Right or wrong, there is a clear pastoral expectation and an accountability that is part of accepting a high calling in ministry. When things like this happen… it just cuts deeper and the wounds take more time to heal. But, they do heal, with time. By His Stripes. I pray you continue to speak/write about your personal journey so that all of us can learn more about the love of Jesus and what He would do… so that we can work on being more like Him. Peace be with you, Brad.
Our pastor was recently asked to step down due to many financial indiscretions. When it began coming to light, I first felt very sorry for him. Then the more that came out, I began to feel angry. It was church money! Money we tithed! How dare he! Then back to feeling bad for him. I can’t explain it except to say that he was our friend and pastor. I felt like he should indeed be held to a higher standard here on earth and yet, at the same time, I could see how he might be under greater attack from satan due to his position in society. It still is not finished at out church but we pray for him and his family, forgive, still are angry at times due to the trouble this is causing, and we try to move on. Such a hard issue. I know it has made our friendship with his family very troubled.
My husband had different views about this type of thing until a pastor from his youth committed suicide two years ago. It made him wonder if their struggle with sin is on a different level than ours.
I know that I am not very profound… and I have only skimmed through everyone else’s comments… but, who am I to even look for a stone to throw? While it isn’t a good situation, I applaud Brad for being so willing to share. We all fall to temptation. I believe, however, that God uses our bad for His good. Do I think that we can use that as an excuse? Not at all, but I think that we can find peace in knowing that none of us are perfect and that God can’t be limited by our weakness. God’s glory is going to show through this situation no matter what any of us say or do. We are reading ‘Velvet Elvis’ in our small group, and today I read this. “… when Jesus died on the cross, he was reconciling “all things, in heaven and on earth, to God. All things, everywhere… God is retelling all of our stories in Jesus. All the bad parts and the ugly parts and the parts we want to pretend never happened are REDEEMED. They seemed pointless and they were painful at the time, but God retells our story and they become moments when God’s grace is most on display!” Who knows who will relate to Brad? God knows. I think that instead of dwelling on what has happened, we should thank God for how He is going to use this situation for His glory, to further growing our family and community, and for the growth of faith and trust in our God that this situation will bring to all of those involved if they choose to allow it.
http://www.imeem.com/groups/ztIyHtY6,chuck_girard//music/jHRvvlNN/chuck_girard_dont_shoot_the_wounded/
This is a sensitive subject for me as a year ago our church was ripped apart due to this same situation. I look at it very differently than my elders did. When David sinned, God did not remove his anointing. He was the apple of God’s eye before and after Bathsheba. Yes, when we sin we will face discipline. I am a believe in: choose the behavior choose the consequence when it comes to raising my children and I believe God looks at us the same way. My goodness, the consequences for Brad were huge, but I can’t imagine there is any external consequence that he has endured that is more painful than what he suffers through internally. I also know how easily it can happen and that our adversary is very diligent in looking for our weaknesses and our weakest moments and pouncing. I think what we should feel is a stronger call to pray for our Pastors that they not fall into temptation.
There is a tremendous amount of love and outpouring of forgiveness for Pastor Brad. What a testimony to Christ! Just as God forgives us, we should forgive others.
Truth is also equally important. As one who is familiar with the particulars of this complex situation I think it is important to share the whole story, not just part of the story. While Pastor Brad wrote a beautiful apology that has been posted on this website, what is not shared is that he is still actively in a relationship with the woman he had the adulterous affair with. Unfortunately, this is the “elephant in the living” room and has become a stumbling block within our local Christian Community.
Forgiveness is predicated on repentance and the larger question with Pastor Brad is his repentance. Repentance is turning away from sin and is measured by the fruit born from that turning away. Is he truly following God’s will by continuing this relationship? How can God heal him and/or heal is broken marriage if he is more committed to his adulterous relationship than to God?
In John chapter 8, Jesus does not condemn the woman who is brought forth by the Pharisee’s for adultery. Since Jesus already knows the condition of her heart and the future of what she will chose, he knows that she will turn from her sin and repent. This is a powerful message of love and forgiveness. it is also an important reminder of who is really in charge. What cannot be denied however is that to receive her forgiveness and be redeemed she had to turn away from her sin. If she continued to commit adultery, would Jesus be so forgiving?
As Paul wrote to the Corinthians, we are reminded that the Kingdom of God will not be inherited by those committing adultery, sexual immorality and a variety of sins. Those who actively engage and do not repent are in jeopordy of losing their spiritual inheritance.
As John 8 shows us, none of us are without sin and therefore not in a position to condemn nor judge. Jesus is the only one with the power to condemn and judge. Only Jesus knows what is in Pastor Brad’s heart and whether or not he has truly repented and reconciled himself with God. Time will tell whether he is following Gods will or his own.
Since it is unknown, I urge all of you to pray for Pastor Brad and our entire Christian Community which is under attack. Satan is always there deceiving. Satan is always on the attack and has attacked Pastor Brad, his family and the larger Christian Community in our area. I cannot even begin to emphasize the ripple effects this has had. I think it is important to remember Jesus’ final words to the adulterer in John 8:11 “Go now and leave your life of sin” . Satan is attacking. We need to support eachother and hold eachother accountable for full repentance. Those that truly love Pastor Brad love him as Christ loves him and prays daily for a deep repentance and healing with Jesus. Our whole community desperately needs prayer. Please pray that Pastor Brad will if he has not already done so, fully repent and be reconciled and healed by Jesus. That mercy, love and understanding and the amazing power of Christ be present in this difficult situation and that all of ths suffering be used to glorify Jesus.
Why has brad johnson started a new ministry and is asking for donations?
For me Pete, this is very difficult. I was not brought up in the church but yet always had a love for the lord. I always tried to do you he wanted me to do. Then when I turned 30 I found out my father had cheated on my mother more time than I could count and 1 of the women was a dear friend to my mother. Needless to say, they divorced after decades of marriage. And seeing how my father handles this, with not much guilt (or so it seems), has broke my heart. I still love my father very much but knowing what he did hurts. I will never look at him as a man of strength again, just a man of weakness. Since this has happened I have found myself going to different churches (a probably confusing my oldest) to have help in teaching my children, that God gave me, the morals they should have. I saw the mistake he made and the morals that were broken and it scared me because he broke Gods trust. I still have problems with this and will probably always will but my children are going to learn that when you give your heart to someone, under God, and you cheat, you not only cheat on your spouse, you cheat on him. And thanks to you Pete, I think I have found the right Church.
Hi…I have no idea how I ended up on your blog, but I was interested in finding out how Brad Johnson was doing, because I have continued to pray for Him. I HAVE to set the record straight, as I’m really concerned about Brad’s response to you. It’s down right offensive…Brad was caught! A husband of one (there were a lot more) of the women with whom he had an affair with, our church. I am into grace more than most people I know. Reason being, is that I NEED it. With true repentance there is restoration. There has been none.
Jer. 29:11 Blessings with your ministry, you seem like an amazing man of God!
Anyway, I have long been in church to where I’ve seen it all. I WANT Brad to be in His will. I WANT him to succeed, and for him to be restored. I desperately wanted to be able to reach out to him when this all happened. The painful fact of the matter was the the word of God out and out said, “Have nothing to do with him..” He and my husband were friends–we HURT for him. The elders at our church went far above and beyond the call to give him opportunity for restoration, but I promise you there was none. I have honestly learned some great truths from Brad..I still tell others who are in pain this fact. He had affairs before, and this was never disclosed. This wasn’t a first time to have to deal with this for Kim Johnson. It’s just that neither one of them disclosed this to ANYONE. And to be honest, he flirtty with even woman. For someone to try to be in a leadership position without ever having restitution is bizarre. I write this to you, because, you’ve been tricked. The conclusion of many, is that he is a con man, and that he is good at it. I’ve hoped they were wrong, but now, from reading this, wow, they were correct. My heart continues to ache. My ministry here, at our church, has been (not so much, now..in that it’s been a while) to encourage people to put their faith in God, not man. It HAS been very painful. The Lord, however, has truly blessed us, with a new Pastor, Shawn Thorton. After being under his leadership, I now see the huge difference. Brad knows the truth, but our church had become one big Oprah, or Dr. Phil show. I was one of his biggest fans, and was never so discouraged when, on his visionary Sunday, there was no substance, only media, a big show. I seek the truth very passionately, and I write this to you because of this very fact. When and if Brad ever does “it” God’s way, then I will happily invited him into our life. Sounds harsh, but you’re arguing God’s very word of God, not mine. Thanks to whoever listens to this. As Micheal Jackson sang, “I’m a lover, not a hater…”
While I appreciate your comments about Brad Johnson he still is no position to be preaching. Get all the facts about this man as you have knowledge of only part of the story. He needs to get right with the Lord first!
People need to follow God NOT Brad!
I have read all of the comments, sentiments, blogs on the Brad Johnson saga: My questions is: Isn’t there way too much sentiment put towards Brad and no one that I know of addresses the fact that he is still dating/living with the girl that he had the affair with, Heidi. How is Brad ever to expect his children to heal when he continues the “affair”. What do you think the impact of his continuing with the person that helped break up their family is on these precious girls? Also, where is the exposure of Heidi, the sinner, a person who dated a married man, what about the pain that she too has caused this family. We know that it takes 2 but she is to blame also. I believe in forgiveness but I also believe that it is going to be almost impossible for his daughters to “forget” when he stays so attached to the sin, i.e. Heidi. I don’t think that Brad is yet capable of looking at the pain that his daughters are feeling because if he did, he would have separated himself from the affair, that is if he truly wanted to start fresh and move beyond the affair. What is more important to Brad Johnson, continuing the affair or helping connect to his children and helping them with the pain of having a Dad who has done such a horrible thing?
Carmen great post I couldn’t have said it better. My grown children and I have lived the pain, agony and legacy of their Dad’s affair for years and my ex didn’t end up with the woman. The destruction of a family and its consequences rears its ugly head in all areas. I was attending Calvary Community Church when Brad was there while I was trying to deal with husbands affair and grieving high school age children and really needed to trust the pastor as a man of God. I listened to many of Brad’s sermons on family and adultery ,only to find out he was having an affair with a church member. Trust shattered again. God is the only way,truth and life. By the way, did anybody catch Brad on “Keeping Up w/The Kardashians?” WOW!! Maybe he will have an agent soon.