I had the opportunity to be a part of a couple of weddings this weekend. As usual, 1 Corinthians 13 was one of the selected scriptures. Derek and Bonnie asked me to read it in the Message translation and I loved it. I have read it a few times since then and it gave me a fresh perspective on this passage.
1 Corinthians 13: 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
So here is what I want us to discuss today. When you read through the list which aspect of “love” do you struggle with?
For me it was, “love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have”. I have struggled with this on and off throughout my entire life. I’m trying to understand that part of loving God and loving people is learning to be “content” with who I am and what I have.
As long as I WANT your personality, your house, your gift mix, your bank account, your family situation, your health, your job, your friends….your life, than I can’t really love you in the way God has designed me to love you.
So there’s my struggle. How about you?
join the conversation,
Pete
Give love (and continue giving) without receiving love in return.
“Love cares more for others than for self.”
Dang, I wish I could say that was true. I WANT it to be true of me but my selfish nature always gets in the way.
Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com
I definitely struggle with keeping score of the sins of others. Why do I do this? Does it make me feel better about my imperfect self? I’m not sure.
I don’t enjoy seeing ANYONE in pain or strife, but there have been times, with certain people I have to deal with in my life, that I have almost been happy about their sins and tribulations. I hope that knowing that this is a big struggle for me will give me the desire to ask God to help me with it.
Mine is “Love never gives up” I tend to not forgive the “seventy times seven” that Jesus said. I might get to seven and then I’m done.
“Love doesn’t force itself on others”
It’s hard for me to just let relationships happen… I tend to want to control and influence them for my own selfish outcomes. My desire to be liked, accepted, loved, appreciated etc.. etc.. many times overrides my judgement to simply love people for who they are and not for how they can benefit my ego.
i’m with Lori K and keeping score of the sins of others. of course when it’s my score…no problem. but keeping score for others…BIG problem. bad part is i blame this on my job in the justice system where we always look at your “prior record”…definitely a struggle.
I have a hard time just picking one. I do agree with Lori and Jon, I have a tendency to focus on the bad in people then the good. Especially when it comes to my kid’s friends. I also have a tendency to not trust God as well as I should. He is the only person I know that never lied or cheated or sinned. But, I want to compare Him to people who have touched my life in a negative way.
I’m afraid I struggle with several of them. The one I have the most trouble with is, Puts up with anything, followed closely by and related to, Doesn’t fly off the handle.
It’s always been my tendency(maybe it’s the West Nashville in me) not to put up with much and it can cause me to fly off the handle.
Thanks for reminder, Pete.
“Doesn’t fly off the handle”…
I could give the excuse that “bad tempers” are an inherited trait in my family, but it would be pretty lame. After all, I have been adopted into a new inheritance, and as a Christian, my goal should be to become more and more like Him.
I try to remind myself daily of this, and the fact that I don’t want my own children to have that same “excuse”.
I struggle with Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. The reason this is a struggle for me, is because a couple of my friend’s hubby’s will buy lavish gifts and flowers and write love notes. My husband just isn’t that kind of guy. He’d rather tell me he loves me by helping me do the dishes or vacuum. And that’s great, but sometimes it’s hard for me not to get jealous. I gotta work on that!:)
Puts up with anything
I had to really think about all these and this just came in my throat so many times. I tend to hold onto and not draw boundaries in my relationships until I am sucked dried. Its really difficult when you are trying to lead in a church.
“Doesn’t fly off the handle.”
I struggle with this. I tend to not talk to anyone about what I’m feeling or going through and it all wells up inside until it explodes.
I certainly struggle with “love doesn’t want what love doesn’t have”. For me, it’s not so much matieral, as it is relational and situational. I’ve been working on it for years, and it gets better……..but it’s not gone.
Mine is definitely “Doesn’t fly off the handle”. I have a temper and it sucks!
Trust God always…..I try, I really do , but sometime we just can’t help trying to “help” him along with the process. I guess that is where the love is patient, love is kind comes in (lol).
Easy one for me, “Isn’t always me first.”
“Cares more for others than self.” I fail to do this with wife, kids, co-workers, and neighbors far more than I should. When my focus remains on God, others naturally come first. When I take my eyes off God, the naturally shift to me.
“Love cares more for others than for self.”
Well there are several, but the “Trusts God always” part sorta jumped off the page at me today. If only it wasn’t so blasted hard…
Love is patient. That’s my toughest one. It’s when we both know the answer to “getting there” but realize that it takes time and we both have our own crap to work through.
Patience man… it’s a killer
Dave
Never gives up. I don’t give up on people so to speak but I have a hard time loving myself. It is hard to truly love others when you don’t love the person god made you to be.
Just sayin.
Thanks for making me slow down and think.
Does it have to be only one?
I think I struggle mostly with these two…
#1 “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.”
#2. “Puts up with anything”
I have a hard time being content with what I have. I also have a hard time putting up with anything.
Doesn’t fly off the handle.
Unfortunately, my wife sees my angry side more than I would like to admit.
“Love…Doesn’t fly off the handle”
Eeks! I have zero tolerance. it ain’t pretty. not in an angry way – but reactionary.
Hi Pete, Can I say all?! Actually today, “Love cares more for others than for self.” I know as a Christian I like to think I always put others first, but if I really dig deeper I find where I rationalize or negotiate my love for others. I convince myself that in certain situations I can give a little and make it seem as if I am fully putting others first while I am secretly getting my way. As long as they feel like I am putting them first and don’t know I’m getting my way. The truth is this is deception of the heart. It’s the outward appearance of fully devoted love while my heart is deceitfully selfish. The worse deception is that we convince ourselves this is putting others before ourselves. It’s a lie. Jesus emptied Himself for our sake. He gave all. True love – it’s all or nothing!
3. Looking back
2. Keeping score of the sins of others…while wiping my slate clean daily
1. Wanting what others have
So, here I am again, speaking my short prayer from a few weeks ago..”Lord, transform my mind”
i’m kind of a newbie to your blog, thanks to our mutual friend brewster. this is a great entry today and has hit me right where i live right now. i was listening to a song called ‘i receive your love’ as i was getting ready for work this morning and was thinking about how hard it can be to receive perfect love when you’ve lived with imperfect love all your life. i probably struggle with most of these to varying degrees, but “Love never gives up” might be the biggest right now. in general it can be a struggle to see everything that we call love and still believe God when he says “mine is better than that!” we want better love, but it can be difficult to comprehend what that actually is.
thank you for this.
trusts god always…
love[trust]=struggle
Love doesn’t fly off the handle!
I love and hate this line. I only fly off the handle with my hubby, the one I love the most. This is definitely the hardest for me…
great scripture and great convo!
@ Matt Singleton…well put. Exactly what I struggle with sometimes.
normally it’s “love always trusts” – but MSG words it differently. here, my biggest challenge lies in: “Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others”
it’s hard for me to keep no record of wrongs. my heart just seems to remember even when i don’t try to.
::sigh::
For me it is “Puts up with anything” and “Never gives up.” I have a high tolerance for other people’s issues, but when my kids mess up I have a very low tolerance. I guess that delicate balance of parenting and loving isn’t easy to maintain. Oh….and that whole maintain a score card thing… phew. Maybe, Pete, we should be discussing what we CAN do well. It’s a shorter list.
to be honest, I sometimes wish I had someone else’s ministry situation, church, or group of people around them. It’s a struggle to be content sometimes. My heart should sincerely be glad for others and I should be able to see the wonderful things God has given me. I wish it were just that simple.
As a mother of two young children, one with autism,I would definitely say that mine is “Love doesn’t fly off the handle.” It seems that I tend to be reactionary rather than allowing God’s love to instill the patience in my that I need to love my husband and children. Thanks, Pete, for helping me think about this today and to focus my efforts on not “flying off the handle” today.
I have a problem with saying Me first. That is the one for me. I don’t have a problem with it in the context of ministry, but with my family and my wife. I feel like it should be me first… I’ve got to kick that nasty attitude. I think you struck a nerve here Pete. Good work. Thanks for making us think!
Jill, I’m very glad it was helpful to you today! Praying for you.
Doesn’t fly off the handle.
I struggle with this with my kiddos alot!! My 7 year old knows right from wrong…knows our expectations and still he will do something that will blow my mind….like sneak matches and light a big firecracker at his great grandma’s that sounds like a gunshot! It’s hard to be patient with him at times and patiently explain or talk through issues instead of yelling right away!!
Mine also involves many on the list, but one that stands out to me the most is “Love cares more for others than for self…” As I think through this, alot of the others all come back to this point. If I love others more than me, I won’t have to worry as much about the others on the list….
My struggle is “Always looks for the best.” It’s easy to always look for the best in people you already have spent a good amount of time with or know you will be spending a lot of time with in the future. But I find myself believing or looking for the worst rather than the best in those I cross paths with maybe only once or twice. Those I know I will never see again. Why is that? If anything, the fact that our paths only intersected for a brief second probably makes the odds greater that I just caught them at a “bad” moment. I know that I’m not giving my best every second of every day.
“Doesn’t force itself on others…”
it’s funny, i’ve never noticed this one before. i don’t so much have a problem enacting this one as much as i do understanding it. especially in the when i consider 1 john 4:16, ” And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.”
it baffles me. God, who created every being and can see every need we have (most important being Him), does not force Himself on us. i know i am not answering this question in the way it was meant, but that is what i am baffled by… God, the embodiment of love, does not force Himself on us. i am amazed by the love and grace of God every day…
I’ve been kicking this around all day. I just flat out lied earlier. I know exacltly why I don’t love like Paul is talking about, in these verses. I have a feeling it’s the real reason most of us don’t. I’m afraid at times. I’m afraid because the love Paul is talking about here, is God’s kind of love….it costs alot.
C.S. Lewis said, “Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal.”
I have to constantly remind myself that for God to buy us back, it cost Him the best that He had. I have no right to be afraid. Perfect loves drives out fear.
I’ve got to be honest, I still struggle with it.
Pete you need to update the ages for your boys. Come on WaxyOne
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back.
I am so on the same page as Anne Jackson and is the best excuse for me not trying to love anyone too much. It is a struggle to see the best in others when your trying to do the same for yourself. Remembering that love fits into everything at all times is a struggle for me. Even when I feel the need to comment on a random pastors blog that I stumbled across
Smile … for me its all of them.
I guess it would be summed up with the idea that to me this passage says real love is has no strings attached. Regretfully, I keep attaching strings or conditions and have to remind myself not to.
It constantly reminds me to keep filling up with God and learning to trust Him to teach me how.
Love doesn’t force itself on others- God does this amazing thing by allowing us free will when he could control it all in a heart beat, but I am not so good at this. I want to control all of the paths of my relationships, and most of the time it blows up in my face or looses a sencerity about it.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
This would definitely be my stuggle. I’m working on it though and am waaaay better than I used to be.
I struggle with never look back! I haven’t got to that point in my life yet that I quess I can’t just forgive. I am working on it with God and hopefully soon that can become a positive step in my life with the Lord!
I don’t think “Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have” is legitimate. Whether or not you believe the Bible, not wanting leads to a static life where you don’t get anywhere.
Of course you could respond by qualifying this… but in the end, a love that doesn’t want, a love that is completely satisfied will go nowhere and not reach truth. Think of a stagnant pond.
This, for me, is the problem with believing in a god because he is then the answer (the ‘satisfactionn’) to everything you don’t know… which means you can stop searching whenever you don’t know an answer. So when asked “how do our cells work” or “what holds the universe together”, you can simply respond “god” and avoid serious thought about reality. Without this kind of serious thought (without wanting) we would have never discovered much of what we know about the universe.
We would still be think Earth was the center of the universe and that people got sick because they were bad.
So is not wanting a goal we should really have? Is static love defensible?
There is a toss up between two of them. Trust God always and doesn’t fly off the handle. I am bankrupt in the trust department and one of the side effects of that for me is an incredibe amount of rage and inappropriate anger.