I’m Ashamed
We live in a culture that, for the most part, divides people into two categories. People that count and people who don’t count. People who matter and people who just don’t seem to carry a ton of weight in society. I’m ashamed to admit I have created two such categories in my heart. There are times I subconsciously lump people into one category or the other.
Yesterday, I did a funeral for a 24 year-old young man at Cross Point named Todd Keeton. Todd was the 16th person in the world born with Marden-Walker syndrome. This syndrome caused Todd to deal with many physical challenges and kept his mental ability from ever increasing above a third grade level.
This was one of the most moving funerals I have ever been a part of as three of his lifelong friends, Clay, Jeremy and Josh, (all dealing with different levels of Down Syndrome) were a part of the funeral. Josh recounted many stories about his friendship with Todd and the many memories they had created. At one point, the three presented Todd’s mom, Pam, with their Boy Scout bandanna and told her how much Todd meant to them.
After the funeral I learned the boys had advanced to the Special Olympics state championship in Bocce ball. Their match was today, but they decided to forfeit the match so they could honor their friend, Todd.
After conducting the funeral I went back into my office and shut the door to process what I had just experienced. It wasn’t long before I just started to cry. I was crying because of the overwhelming shame I felt.
These young men taught me a lot today. They taught me about the power of friendship and loyalty. They taught me about the power of unconditional love. They taught me that I have a long way to go in my spiritual transformation if I really want to be more like Jesus. Because, unlike me, they don’t have two categories. To them everyone matters and everyone counts. Thank you Clay, Jeremy, and Josh for being such good friends to Todd. And thank you for modeling Jesus to me in such a powerful way.
Mark 10: 43-44 “… Whoever wants to become great among you must serve the rest of you like a servant. Whoever wants to become the first among you must serve all of you…”
Do you ever struggle with this?
Pete
Wow, I read your post and I now I think I’m gonna cry. Really cool.
peace
God bless you for telling us this story you are a good man
I feel you on this Pete. Our culture attempts to divide us in every way possible, not least of which is the notion we’re somehow better than others. Thanks for reminding us of the truth about ourselves; every human being, created equal in the eyes of our maker!
As a mommy of a sweet angel with Down syndrome, I can attest that one of the greatest things you can ever do for yourself and the world around you is to get to know, and invest in the life of someone with a mental disability (not just Ds). Your perspective will be forever changed. In most cases, their capacity to love and accept reaches far beyond our comprehension.
Melissa, I thought about you and Shawn a lot yesterday. God has blessed you and your family and our church by allowing us to walk with him. I believe he will teach me a lot in my lifetime.
My sister has a son (Jacob) with Asbeerger’s Syndrome – An Autism Spectrum Disorder. http://www.redvanramblings.spaces.live.com
Pete, I can identify. There are times I wonder who is blessed more. Many with handicaps embody an innocence we tend to loose as we grow up -if you call that growth. We must enter the Kingdom as little children. I pray to have eyes like that. Thanks for this story.
Thank you, Pete. My sister was one of those special people, like Todd. When I conducted her funeral, I shared how she taught us so many lessons most people miss in life. Some of those lessons are tough ones. They make our hearts hurt and feel good, at the same time. But, they bless our lives forever.
Just this week I found your blog, yesterday was the first time I ever commented on it, I have goose bumps reading this, I have a nine year old son with ds, he has taught me more than any teacher I have ever had. And I see him touch and change people everyday. He can melt the hardest of hearts and at times he says things that just blow us away and confirms what I already feel, that he truly “gets” how we are to live, act, care, and love more than I do at 39 years old…….. Thank you, for being so honest and having an open mind and heart. In Christ, Monica
my encouragement to you…as i’ve been encouraged today…is to focus on what you can learn from this and not focus on any reasons why you should feel ashamed…see how God wants to use this experience and LET HIM!!!
Pete, this post blew me away. Thank you for being so raw and real with us.
Pete, another amazing post. Thanks for not just blogging for fun. You take the time to think about what you write. You’re able to touch people with your blog and impact lives.
Isn’t it funny that some of our best blog posts have nothing to do with us? I think when we’re intentional about being focused on others and humbly admitting our shortcomings, we become more like Jesus.
Thank you for reflecting Jesus through your blog.
Brad Ruggles
http://www.bradruggles.com
Pete,
Thanks for sharing this story. I needed to be reminded of the beauty in this world, and this is definitely beautiful. God Bless!
Pete
The Holy Spirit uses situations like this to remind us of our inability to comprehend how God loves. You just caught a glimpse of it yesterday… and you are blessed because you recognize it.
Thanks for sharing it!
Good Morning Pastor Pete:
I agree. I believe this is a struggle many people, Christians included, struggle with in today’s society. Who is more deserving of our time, efforts, compassion, friendship, generosity and love. If Jesus had to answer that question, the answer would be …..everyone. (lucky for us!)
Ya’ll have a blessed day!
Starwoodgal
God Bless you for helping me realize how precious each human being is in God’s eyes and should be in ours as well.
This is so moving and beautiful. It’s so good to be reminded of simple love and simple faith. My husband wrote a song called “God Bless the Simple” about a very special young boy we met with cerebral palsy who changed our lives.
You can listen to it here:
http://denverintranslation.com/?page_id=325
What a really sweet story.
I sooo wish I had never struggled with this. Unfortunately, I have and do. Not so much with people with disablities because God showed me early on that they are probably the closest people to Jesus that we will ever find on this earth..until He comes back.
However, I find myself struggling with ‘needy’ people. The people who always have something wrong. The people that want to walk up to you and spill their whole life story out in a 5 minute discussion. God has been slowly showing me that it’s not their problem….it’s MINE. Humility is something that I am really praying for.
Great post. Thanks for being honest. A lot of Pastors allow their congregation to believe they have it ‘all together’. We (my church) are blessed that our Pastor and his family are honest and open. Sounds like your church is blessed as well.
Before i was diagnosed with Lupus I struggled with people who had chronic illnesses. My struggle may have stemmed from having a hypochondriac Aunt growing up. But my attitude as an adult was always, “Buck up – get over it”. I know. Terrible. That isn’t me any longer, I assure you. I now have an affliction that helps me relate to others on a level I never knew existed. This affliction has healed me. It has healed my thoughts and judgments on others. There are no more categories in my book.
Thank you for sharing your heart opening experience. I’ve seen that “those who count and those who don’t” syndrome as well. It seems you are either “cool” or not “cool.” I’ve tried to tell myeself that “coolness” doesn’t matter, but deep down inside I know I’m really trying to be one of the “cool” people, sometimes consciously and sometimes subconsciously. I’m sure it stems from my childhood years of being classified as a “nerd,” …still trying to convince everyone they are wrong. *sigh* Thank you for reminding us all that in Christ, there are no nerds.
When I read this I began to cry. I have two nephews with autism. One is very highly trainable the other one is not. My sister is a wonderful Mom and her husband a great Dad. My sister works endless hours with Autism Speaks in Sonoma Calf. And works tireless hours helping other families in the same situation that she is in.My nephews are now teens and this is a tough life for their parents. However they handle it with such strength and compassion.
My parents on the other hand due to my sister living out of state. Have lumped her kids in the area of the old thought pattern of *retarded* They don’t care to see them and why would my sister go out and raise funds for these kids when she has to take care of her own.
I am so proud of her efforts to make a change and keep telling her that knowing she will never get the approval of my parents for what she does.
When I read your story I cried. I work with at risk kids and special ed kids who are special. My life has changed do to gaining much understanding.
Its tough..having many health issues myself that changed who I am and how I treat and look at others. It makes me able to listen and hear what others say.
I think we always in life look at ourselves and how we can change and do things differently. Thats a good thing. There is pure beauty out there when we don;t expect it.
Love the honesty and openness shared here.
Thank you for sharing. It was moving!!
Answer: Yes.
Thanks, Pete.
james
Thanks buddy, I love ya!
Pete… you hit me up with this one man…
yeah…
I just love you PastorPete!
Wow. That’s amazing. There’s another story that I read quite a few years ago. It was the Special Olympics or something like it for children and it was the track part of the track and field competition. During the run around the track, one of the boys fell down and hurt himself. Instead of the others continuing, every single one of them turned around to help him up, and they all held hands as they walked to and crossed the finish line.
Thanks for sharing this story.
Amen. I’ve felt the same way. It’s truely amazing how God can use just one person to change the hearts and thoughts of so many.
Reach Out, Up, and Over
Kristi, 16
Wow, Pete, you’ve had some really hard-hitting posts lately. Thank you for giving us very thought-provoking subjects and sharing your real-life struggles.
When I was young, in my hometown church, I thought that pretty much everyone was perfect and I felt so inadequate for God’s love and mercy. Being “real” was, I guess, not allowed, without feeling totally guilty and bound for hell. Fire and brimstone was the norm, every Sunday. During that time, I missed out on really knowing God and his infinite love and forgiveness……so much lost time!
Thank you, Lord, for leading me to Crosspoint and it’s wonderful leaders and congregation and showing me that it’s ok to be flawed and for giving me hope. As I strive to be more like you, please help me remember that we are all your children, no matter our gender, age, race, health, income, education, and so on…..thank you again for your infinite grace and mercy.
Amen.
My cousin had DS and she passed in 88. It’s been 20 years since that lump has been in my throat. I have forgotten the slaps on the back fron Jenny. I remember her wet kisses on my cheek, and the love she had for her cat Tiggie. I needed this reminder. Thank you for allowing me to feel in this way again.
i think my whole is one huge division symbol.
i think my whole *life…
Wow! What a true testiment to love and loyalty. As a proud mama to a little one who is “chromosomally enhanced” (has Down Syndrome) I have realized that those who think they are better are sadly mistaken. She captures every moment and appreciates it for what it is. There is no worry of tomorrow-she has trust to know that her needs will be met. She also has a growing faith and love for Jesus that is pure. We would all be blessed to live life in this way.
Prayers going up for Todd, his family and friends! Jenn
Yes, I am ashamed to and sadly, I struggle with this all. the. time.
Pete…I’m a dad of an awesome little boy with special needs. I’d love to talk with you more about this sometime. I would love to share a perspective with you from the other side and how parents with special needs children often feel isolated, alone, and abandoned by the church. I can certainly relate to being put into “the other” catagory.
Pete, Thanks for all you do and your honesty. Todd was a truly special person and we will all miss him very much. To those families of special needs people… I have always held it in my heart that you are their Champions. Sometimes it’s a fight to get every single right and shred of help that is afforded them. Continue to champion them. Never give up. Todd…until one day, I love you buddy.